My 2 year daughter is smart, beautiful and extremely precocious. The issue is clothing. She turned 2 in June and for the past few months has insisted on wearing her 5 year old brothers' clothes, particularly his t-shirts. When I try to dress her in her own clothing she puts up a fight, often turning into a major tantrum. When I do get her into her own clothing she whines and complains and doesn't relent. I often try to ignore this behavior but it gets tiring. I know consistency is key but we are often leaving the house to go somewhere and tantrums are full blown. I am so frustrated. She has a closet of beautiful clothes that is a struggle to put on her ,including simple shirts.Soon we will have to get up early for daycare and I am dreading this struggle every morning. Any advice, suggestions...solutions?
Maybe try giving her a few choices of clothes (only her own) and let her choose an outfit? I usually give my daughter (2 1/2 yrs) a choice between two outfits when she's being difficult in the "getting dressed" department.
I vote for letting her choose her own clothing. If she likes her brother's shirts and shorts, well, who can blame her? They're likely very comfortable. I'm sure her daycare won't mind if she dresses like a tomboy. I agree 100% that this isn't really the battle you want to be fighting now. It's just clothes and unless the length poses a physical danger, who cares?
And wouldn't you agree that no matter what she wears, she'll always be beautiful, because beauty radiates from the inside out?
Good luck.
I don't make an issue of clothes. As long as they are covered, what difference does it make what a child wears to play in or to go to daycare? She is expressing herself and likes comfortable clothes. Not worth the tantrums, or your stress, to fight this battle.
Stop buying her clothes that she won't wear anyway. Most kids don't care about "beautiful clothes" they just want to be comfortable. She will move out of this particular phase eventually. Save the clothes arguments for when she's a teen and wants to wear something truly inappropriate!
Oh, is this *really* worth all the drama it's creating??? You're frustrated, she's frustrated and everyone gets a crappy start to the day. boo
IMO, this is a prime example of "pick your battles". Honestly, what's the harm in letter her wear her big brother's shirts? I'd just let her pick what she wants to wear and save the drama for another day (like when she's trying to leave the house in a handkerchief passed off as a skirt when she's 14 ;) )
I've got a 5 year old, 3 year old and 9 month old and have pretty much always let my older 2 pick out what the wear. Sure, sometimes it's green stripes with orange flowers, but you know what? They're happy and proud of what they've picked out....and it's not like *I'm* the one that has to wear it! lol
it doesn't hurt to let her wear her brothers clothes. I steal my sons and sos all the time theirs is more comfy. is this really worth the battle. let her wear hers at mandatory times church dressy occasions brothers to play. she just wants to be like her brother.
This totally happened to us and my daughter refused to wear anything but boy's clothes! And she only wanted to wear the same outfit over and over. I thought it would never end and it was so difficult because the tantrums would start right before we would leave to go somewhere. It lasted for a good 6 months or more and then all of a sudden - everything changed and she became as girly as could be and wore all kinds of pink and all of her own clothes. Hang in there and keep repeating: "This too shall pass." :) Good luck!
Normal for this age. Does she really look up to her brother? If she is old enough to articulate... Ask her what she likes about his shirt. It may be comfort or that it is not itchy. She will most likely start to want different things. I loved two yrs old in my kids. They are like little tyrannical generals. I did however not allow fits. If she starts one just simply walk away to another room. She will soon learn a fit gets her NO attention.
My 2 year old has been EXTREMELY spirited since age 9 months. Like full on rager. She also has the very specific clothing thing. For her, it's puffy skirts and tutus, anything else, she WILL NOT WEAR.
We've come to a compromise. She is NOT allowed to have tantrums, and has always been disciplined for them. So if she begins a tantrum if I hold up something "unacceptable", she is warned to stop and say "please" nicely. Which she does. At that point, I do negotiate with her on what to wear and usually have a choice between a few puffy skirts anyway. But no fits allowed. If she continues screaming at all, she gets a firm consequence immediately after the calm warning, which almost never happens now.
It was not easy to nip at first, she is FIERY. My older two only tried tantrums a couple of times (at about 18 months) and discipline worked right away, but she took more diligence at a younger age.
We have NEVER ignored a fit with any of the kids, and that's why they don't have them. It takes firm discipline to teach that fits are not allowed. Two is getting late to nip them effortlessly. This book is great for tantrum nipping if you go that route. Back to Basics Discipline by Janet Campbell Matson.
As for the clothing choices themselves, I don't really care what she wears, so that's not the issue for me. She's just not allowed to have fits. Whatever you decide, enforce.
Yeah, this is tough. I would agree that giving her two choices of her own outfits is good. I might also try talking with her and explaining that her brother's clothes aren't okay to wear in public (b/c they are too big, he needs them, whatever...) but maybe she can pick out a t-shirt (with his approval) that she can wear as a nightgown or something? I might also have her help you pick out her clothes when you go shopping. I'm at that point with my daughter too, and have been for about 6 months at least. (she's almost 4) Generally if she doesn't agree to liking it when I buy it, she won't wear it.
I agree that she should be allowed to wear some of her brother's clothes, but sizing is probably an issue. You could try to have her dress like her brother, like if he's wearing a blue shirt, she can find a blue shirt of her own, etc. That works for my son and daughter because the little one wants to be just like their older sibling. You might just need to buy similar clothing in different sizes!
I don't really think this is an example of picking your battles. A 2 year old in a 5 year old's shirt really doesn't work outside of the house. I like the idea of letting her pick a shirt to use as pajamas, and having her choose between two outfits the night before. When she chooses the outfit, remind her that she will wear it tomorrow without having a fit or whining or complaining. If she has a fit, etc. the consequence will be X. Then in the morning, remind her again of the consequence. Maybe also give an incentive for cooperative behavior. She gets a sticker for each day of cooperating with clothing, and after so many stickers she gets a prize. Good luck!
