2 Year Old Boy Misbehaving at School

It seems like he's getting a great deal of attention (good or bad) when he misbehaves. I would try noticeing and rewarding him when he is behaving, rather than punishing when he does something wrong. I teach, and I know exactly what you mean by the "I'm sorry" bit.... my students will always say "but I said I was sorry" and think they can get away with ANYTHING!

Hi S.,

Have you tried positive reinforcement? I am a teacher and also have a 7 yr. old son. Sometimes kids will not respond to punishment, especially at that early of an age. Praise him when you see that he is cooperating with others. Maybe even give him something special when you see it. Quite honestly, I think every kid goes through these types of stages. It is normal and they all outgrow them. Good luck!

K.

Your son is going thru a normal stage for his age. As a mom to 3 children (10 girl, 5 boy, 2 girl), surrogate to twins, egg donor to twins and a home daycare provider to 4+ I see it all the time. We correct and redirect. Eventually they catch on. If he is getting too much attention from misbehaving though he may do it more. Every child is different and parenting style has to fit you as a parent - you learn from mistakes - with love & patience you can't go wrong!

Hi S.,

As a mom, step mom, foster mom, grandma, pre-k and grade school educator, I would say your son is typical and totally normal for a two year old. A child that age won’t share well because he hasn’t reached that developmental stage yet. A child has to learn that objects belong to them first before they can learn to “share”. Doesn’t mean it isn’t frustrating, and I totally sympathize with you. The good news is, they do out grow it and I guarantee that by the time he’s in Jr. High, you won’t even remember it.

Aggressive behavior is also normal and typical for that age, and naturally more so for children in day care or preschool.

Try some of these sites for info on sharing and aggression:

http://www.allianceforchildhood.net/pdf_files/call_action...

http://www.childandfamilyprotection.org/eceart060120.html

http://www.babycenter.com/toddler/toddlerbehavior/index

http://www.itsamomsworld.com/toddler_behavior_agression.html

https://www698.ssldomain.com/smartmomma/Toddler/toddler_b...

Hope this is of some help. - I.

S.,
I have four sons and they are absolutely wonderful....all because of the method I used for raising/disciplining them. IF you go to a website called www.nogreaterjoy.com and look up the books "To train a child"...there are two or three volumes..very small books....with great tips and real every day examples of the "how to's"...use the grocery store approach...take what you like and leave the rest. You'll find that some of the stuff does not apply to us...we aren't Omish and we don't live in the country, with our boys leaving school at 13 to work with dad in the barn! But the methods are amazing and work every time. I have twins that are 12, 9 and 5 and I worked very hard to discipline and train when they were two and three and I can say that life is so pleasant and I LOVE being around my kids. People are always amazed at how well behaved they are and I KNOW it has to do with the time I put in to traiing them at a young age. YOu will be so relaxed and a different mom once you apply this philosophy and they will be more secure in who they are because you're teaching them how to handle themselves.

Hope that helps. Just know that you have control and you can turn things around. You can email me with any questions as well. ____@____.com Care
Ciaren

Hi Shelia.

The important thing to remember here is that children act how they feel. Period. Now, not judging their actions as 'good' or 'bad' can be a challenge, but when you look at it in this context it helps.

So---what is causing this behavior? I see this as a 2 part drama.
Part one:
Does he actually want the toy? No. Does he want to harm the other child? Not really. What does he really want/need?
It seems like he is doing a very typical and healthy thing for a 2 year old to do---he is feeling his own autonomy, his own power, and is asserting himself. He wants dominance. Healthy, normal, development. Establishing pecking order is part of human nature. I'll bet he doesn't do this to another child that might deck him! So part one is not really a problem. Children usually work this out on their own. How we respond to it can be--which leads us to part two.

Part two:
When he MUST have the toy, he wants dominance. When he asserts this wish and gains eye contact/attention from an adult, his desire is granted and fed. He gained dominance for attention as well. A bonus prize! Attention form a beloved adult is the ultimate reward. Especially when diverted from the child he was annoying in the first place. So this behavior is being reinforced every time the other child is 'rescued' and the cycle repeats itself. The attention he gains is worth asserting himself even more and aggression begins to take hold. He needs a "fix", the attention is the high.
My suggestion is to try and diffuse this situation before it happens. Of course he needs to learn boundaries and that it is not acceptable to hurt other children, but since he acts how he feels, his needs must be anticipated and met.

First-Next time this behavior happens, notice what happened immediately preceding the incident. What time of day is it? Is he tired? It the room noisy and overstimulating? Did someone just snatch something from him? What was he doing just before he decided he HAD to have this toy? Write down your observations and you will begin to see a pattern emerge. You are looking for triggers, then you can take steps to avoid them.

Second-Find something positive to praise him for BEFORE the behavior happens. Notice how well he is playing/sharing/coloring etc. and really let him know how special you think he is. He needs/wants attention, so give it to him! At the appropriate time and place. This will help diffuse the need to create a drama in the first place. This phase won't last forever. The lessons you teach in love and respect are worth the time invested.

Third-The behavior must not be rewarded with attention. Divert your attention from him when the behavior happens. No judgement, no anger. Just take a deep breath and relax yourself, focus on soothing the 'wronged' child, and then go about your business. No big deal. Hopefully he will be just standing there with (in his mind) this dumb toy in his hand and no one is paying any mind to it at all. Don't tell him to give it back, you are feeding into it. Don't over do it soothing the other child either, ill will on his part and helplesness on the part of the child will insue. This should resolve the problem within a few weeks.

If he is actually hurting the other child, the process is the same, but in step 3 above:
1. Take a deep breath and relax--this is important.
2. Pick him up and remove him from the situation. No emotion at all. No anger, no judgement. Just remove him to make the other child safe.
3. Tell him " I can't let you hurt the baby"

Repeat this over, and over, and over. He will tire of it. Not before you do (!), but he will tire of it. It is not worth his time if he gets nothing out of it.

I hope this helps. Please write back and let me know.

Blessings and best of luck!
L.

Good luck to you. I just recently took some on-line courses through DCF and I did learn alot from one called Basic Guidance and Discipline (the online classes are free all you have to do is register). I thought you might enjoy this too.

https://training01-dcf.myflorida.gov/dcf/cct/reg/onlineco...

I have a 9 month old and am taking the classes to open a Family Child Care in my home. Here is the link, I believe in giving people options than to tell them what to do. Good Luck and I hope this helps you.

Hello S.. I like how proactive you and your husband appear. Hopefully you read the good advice from others on this post. Here's my take on the situation: Your 2 year old son seems to be also demonstrating his understanding of power and influence. The punishments you give (versus consequences) may unintentionally reinforce his idea that important people withold or take things away to show who's in charge. If your family does value leadership, then your son may have the mistaken idea that this kind of power makes a good leader. Some people find it helpful to read about the goals of misbehavior. Hopefully you will find alternative ways to help your son to develop more confidence and courage to deal with discomfort and lack of attention. He's acting like a bully, right? That's also something to look up address... there may be family dynamic that's subtle to us adults, but profound to your 2 year old sponge. Please consider finding a family counselor up there -- LMFT designates their credentials. Kind regards, M. Epstein, LMFT, Marriage & Family Counselor in Bradenton/Sarasota.

You may want to try positive reinforcement for GOOD choices instead of punishments...example: each 15 minute period at school he goes without aggressive behavior he gets a sticker, when he fills up a chart (should have opportunity to do so once in am AND once in pm) he gets a reward (special activity or something that he LOVES!). You can do the same at home. Start with very short intervals and multiple opportunities for him to be rewarded, and as the negative behavior diminishes increase the intervals and/or the expectations.
Good Luck!!!!

I think it's pretty normal for a 2 year old to go through a MINE, MINE, MINE phase. I've known several kids who will take toys away simply because they don't want any other kids to have them. At this age, time outs are usually the most effective tool. When you take away unrelated things, like his favorite TV show or treats, he really doesn't make the connection. It's also a good idea to explain to him that he's hurting the other children's feelings. Ask him how he would feel if someone took a toy away from him. A trick I use with my boys--a three year old and a one year old--is, if my older son wants a toy my younger son is playing with, I tell him to find another toy to trade with him. It usually works. But, in the event that they can't share, no one gets to play with the toy they're fighting over.

If you're looking for a licensed play therapist...I know one and she's EXCELLENT and works with you on the money thing as well as takes some insurances. Her name is Delene Iacono and her number is 813/857/6438

HTH!

S.

I can't really offer help, but I do understand. My 2yr (27 month) old daughter is a challenge as well. She wants whatever anyone else has, even if there is something similar available. I think some of this is age appropriate, but at times I worry and wonder if we are doing enough. I go back and forth - shes still a baby, but yet she seems so advanced in terms of understanding and communicating, so I know we should be incorporating some real discipline in to the day-to-day dealings with her. Again, I kno this isn't really help, but I feel your pain!

Hi,
Just a couple of thoughts regarding your e-mail. First of all they don't call it the 'terrible two's' for nothing! I have been there! I also think some of this may be because you have a six month old. I have two children, and my son, who is 2 1/2 years older then my daughter, would 'test' me when I was occupied with her. It used to make me crazy because, here I was with the baby, and he would suddenly create a situation, knowing very well that I would have a hard time responding. I couldn't or wouldn't always get up to stop him from doing what ever it was... and when he realized that...the fun began.

What I started to do was have him 'help' me in some way, to keep him involved in what I was doing. If I was feeding the baby I would ask him to hold the burpy, or to sing a song with me. I would also try to read to him while feeding the baby...lol (that was challenging), but it helped. I remember someone saying that to kids sometimes 'any' attention is good attention. In other words he wanted my attention and didn't care if I was yelling at him or playing with him.

That age also does not understand a 'delayed' punishment...in other words, taking away treats and favorite activities for 'the future' doesn't do anything because they live in the moment. At that age the only thing that really helps is addressing exactly what they are doing at that moment. If he grabs a toy from the baby and throws it you have to go get it, give it back to the baby and tell him that was not nice or that it was bad. You just have to keep doing that over and over. It is a very repetitive age, when it comes to teaching them things. The key is really 'consistency'. When he gets like that you can try giving him an activity. I always called it 'my back up plan' I would have an idea in the back of my mind for those 'acting up' moments. If my son started to behave badly I would correct him and then I would say in a very enthusiastic way..."Hey....let's build with blocks!" or "Where is your red truck?" and make a game out of finding it.
He may be carrying his frustration from home...to school. I really thinks its hard for the first born to accept 'sharing' mommies attention. It is a very challenging time period and age, but as long as you always follow through, and make the correction, things will change. The most important thing to also remember is to give him special time alone with you too. If he feels you are still there for him, I think his frustration and aggression will subside.
I'm also an 80's kid, with two great kids and a great hubby :-)
Good luck....it gets better!!!
Patti

Dear S.,
Wow, your son sounds like mine! Mine was the outcast of preschool... finally I just took him out. I was sick of him being called, "Bad Boy". Now he is in a different preschool, but the same things were happening...agressive, troublemaker... he is very smart and I feel not challenged enough. I have him in counseling (play therapy) and it is helping. He is 3 now and also is aggressive with his little sister. It comes down to they don't know how to react, and we have to teach them. email me if you are interested in discussing further...
____@____.com

Forgive me for saying this but, he sounds like a normal 2 year old to me. I would recommend contacting the Family Partnership Center- ###-###-#### they have a fantastic program called Teamin Up For Tots---excellent ideas and resources. It's all free and they come to you. The people who work there are wonderful and helpful. Hope that helps

Hi,
I am mother of 3 and former teacher of behavior disordered kids. You mentioned that you have a 6 month old daughter....from your post, it sounds like pretty normal adjustment stuff for a 2 year old with a new sis.

All of the behaviors you mentioned are attention seeking. Perhaps he feels Mom has been taken away....pretty common. When little ones (especially at two, he isn't able to really verbalize his feelings of displacement, sadness and anger) behave this way it is usually a cry for attention. I would try and focus on everything positive that he does, and encourage gentleness and his being a big boy for his baby sis. Make sure you are giving him Mommy time, and make a point of letting him know that there is a special time that is just for you and him, when dad takes baby-sis. Even if it is only 20 minutes, it can make a real difference. Time out is good, but I'm not sure I would take away all privileges, as it may only increase the anxiety that he is already feeling and create more "acting out" behaviors. Hope this helps.

Hi S.

My son had Attention Deficit with Disorder Hyperactivy. Your son is only 2 and I am not implying that he is nothing more than a 2 year old with sharing problems. They go through stages and at 2 it's considered the terrible two's. You do need to continue to be firm with him and set boundaries. The behavior modification technique should eventually teach him that he needs to behave differently then he has.
I used that technique with my son and it helped a lot. We had a reward system example: if he behaved well in school we would give him points toward something he wanted for instance a fish tank as he acquired points for proper behavior he would get points to use toward buying the rocks for the tank then after acquiring more points the filter etc.
It's not necessarily saying he's sorry but teaching him that proper behavior is rewarded and misbehavior is not

He is kind of young to really determine how much he can understand but it can't hurt to set up some kind of reward system for him.

Also, there are books that describe the different stages a child goes through as he grows. That would give you better insight as to certain behaviors a 2 year old displays.

Hope I helped a little

M.

hi S., I understand your frustration, I have a 2 1/2 yr old. The good news is your son is normal and I'm willing to bet that every child in his class displays the same behavior to some degree. That's because 2's don't understand the concept of sharing. At this age, however, they are learning the concept of ownership and until they feel comfortable and confident that something belongs to them they don't have the ability to share it. Unless your son is hurting anyone he should not be scolded or punished. He and the other children should be allowed to workout these issues on their own with some "newscaster" like commentary from you or his teachers to show that you see and understand what's happening. Although he's incapabale of empathy at this age your empathy will go along way in helping find his sense of ownership. If your house is like mine, there are many things that your child is not allowed to have/play with, etc. So he's trying to exert his need to "own" things. He wants what other children are playing w/ because it's simply more interesting. It's a toy "in action". If he does throw or hit or anything else that's dangerous, of course he should know that won't be tolerated. As for "sorry", you're right. He doesn't mean it because he doesn't understand it. Until he learns sympathy/ empathy he won't. You could suggest that he say it, but consequences will be more affective in dealing w/ unacceptable behavior. I sound like a know-it-all but I'm just a follower of the RIE concept. Here's a link to check out; http://www.rie.org/baby.htm

all the best to you,
E. G.

Hey S.,
I don't know how, but your email came up on mine. Anyway, I think that the two of us must be raising the same child!lol....I have a two year old boy who does the same exact thing! Just yeasterday he pushed my daughter off the swingset..and hurt her pretty badly. Here the good news in my opinion..Your son is super social! That is a great quality. He is obviously trying to get all the attention, justlike my son. I swear If I have to yell..stop that one more time!..
I have a daughter with Autism, so my son doesn't really know how to play with other kids because my daughter ignores him..you guessed it, unless my son pushes her, takes a toy etc. Being a mom with specail needs kids I would say, just keep your eye on it. He may just be doing the terriable twos thing.
My son is a littel languaged delayed and is in speech therapy..doing so much better now THANK GOD. However, we had him evaluated just in case. Turns out that the doctors think he will probably end up being ADHD. I am not saying your lil' guy will be too. Just something to think about if its gets worse. I am glad we did find that out, because we use different types of disapline for him that might not have worked just going the regular routie. Keep up your spirts..Im am def, in the same boat.
L. S.

Dear Shelia,
As a mom of two myself I feel for you...My oldest is 4.5 and the youngest is almost 2. I can olny tell you about my experiences and hope maybe that can help you...

When our youngest was about 6 months of age we also began having quite a bunch of behavioral problems with our older son. The most practical advice I received during this time was to spend more one-on-one time with my eldest son. When the baby was born I was so worried about the eldest getting on-on one time with people I forget about the importance of ME having that special time with him. Nothing can replace the Momma! We began to work into our schedule (not always easy) time for him and I to have alone to do something together...Even if its going to the grocery store just the two of you it will be something you two have together...Even negative attention is attention to children, so turn it around on him...I hope this is helpful to you and try to remember "this to shall pass..." I know I do!!!
Good Luck!

Sincerely,
E.

It sounds like your 2 year old might not be handling the arrival of the new sibling too well. Let's face it newborns are tremendously demanding and fourteen month to two year olds are not yet ready for real independent play and they still need the attention. This behavior seems to carrying over into school and he figures that any attention positive or negative is better than no attention. Most pediatricians recommend specific times set up for uninterrupted interactions with the older sibling to prevent any resentments. What you could be seeing is his actions which are the result of his resentment/need for attention. I myself have a fourteen month boy and two older daughters (closer in age) and I understand the work that goes into a six month old ! A lot of time and energy must go toward the two year old as well. Wow. Busy! Setting time aside to do things just with him may help. A lot of positive reinforcement when he does the right thing . Reward him at the same time he is doing what you like.Good Luck. Try a visual reward chart system on the refrigerator see if he likes that - do this right -you get this etc.....

S.,
Sounds like your 2 year old is"screaming" for attention. I would suggest giving him time to be alone with mommy or daddy every day.
Does he have a delay in language skills? Is he acting out because he can't express himself?
Have you visited his school? Is it a nuturing place?
Do you think your son is jealous of the time you spend with your daughter? I think he is too young to understand the punishments of taking away special treats because he has misbehaved. 2 year olds don't typically share. Distract him, don't make a big deal over his "misbehavior" and take charge by taking the toy out of his hand.
Give him some tender loving care while he is going through this difficult time in his life.

E. in Tampa

Hi S.. My daughter (now 3) was almost 2 when her brother (now 1) was born. She also went thru something very similar. YOUR SON IS A VERY NORMAL 2 YR OLD :) I think everyone here would agree.

Some advice I received was to make sure she would hear me tell her baby brother he had to wait. I would say to the baby "Julian you have to wait a minute until mommy is done doing __ with Kylee". This made her still feel special and understand that he did not have to come first ALL the time, just because he would cry. Of course the little one didn't understand at the time, but he hasn't died yet from waiting or crying a bit.

Another thing I did w/ her was tell her that if she wanted something her brother had, she had to trade it for another toy. Once the baby had another toy he would easily let go of the one she "wanted". This of course would not work at day care- but it may help to start.

ONE YEAR later, here we are, happy as can be. They still fight from time to time for the same toy, but she is a sweet big sister now and always wants the very best for "her baby”. She will even tell me how to do my mommy job if she feels I am neglecting her baby in ANY way :)

You are doing well, and I am sure in time you will be giving others advice on how you got thru this tough time :)

M.

Hello S.,
My son went through a lot of what you mentioned, and more. He would have terrible fits when disciplined (simply asked not to do the bitting, and explained to why it was dangerous and pain to the person he was bitting/hitting) he would run and bang his head into the wall, or hit himself in a frantic way. With much patience, love, firm, yet positive discipline, he is today a very loving, helpful, and understanding young 5 year old. He has the occasional snatchies every now and then with his little sister. We are working through it right now. Just remember, they will always test their boundaries. I would recommend reading some of the following books (they helped me in learning to deal with discipline in a positive and constructive manner): The Everything guide to Positive Parenting, Positive Discipline by Jane Nelsen, and Raising Positive Kids in a Negative World.

I feel your pain. My son (almost 4 now) went through a similar phase in his late 2's, early, 3's. Another mom suggested I try working on the reward system when he does something good. (the time out's and taking things away just didn't work very well either). I put little toys from the Dollar Tree store into the "treasure box." When he has done something good he gets a star on a paper on the fridge. when he gets five stars a in row he gets to pick something from the treasure box. He loves to pick up his toys now that he has a goal to work toward. I also lavish on the praise and he seems to be motivated by this more than my yelling at him all the time. Hope it works! Give it a little time for him to get the idea. If he doesn't get the five stars concept, you might want to go directly to getting a reward from the treasure box.

Shelia,
OMG! We are the same person...living the same life! My son turned two April 30. We just moved here, dad was away from three months just weeks after my second son was born Feb 3. He takes baby toys away from Kaleb, try's to eat his baby food, kicks him when he plays on the floor, fake cry's, etc....I could go on for days.
I got "Love and Logic Magic for Early Childhood". It does seem to help. I need to be consistent and so does dad to really make it work. Most of the behavior starts when I am nursing Kaleb or busy with Kaleb. I try to give B special time without Kaleb and he still acts out. I am at a loss too! I didn't plan on sending B to pre-school but now would like to see if that will help. Hoping I don't get into the same situation as you.
Where do you live? Maybe we can get the two together!
I wish I could be more help. Just know you are not the only mother out there with a very busy misbehaving two year old!
Louise

Has this been happening for a while or just recently? I've found that my 2yr old started acting out when he was stressed like when we just recently moved. You may want to journal what else is happening in his life. Is there something going on at his daycare that you might not know about? When you find the triggers you maybe able to ellimanate the behavior. It sounds like our family is made up the same. I also have a five month old daughter. I have also found that when my son does not take a nap he is quite irratible as well.

Dear S.,

We had similar problems and I did research and looked into food allergies. Keep a food diary and see if there are particular foods that are triggers for your son. With our daughter is was juices, peanuts, strawberries, milk of any kind. We removed the food and she got much better. Slowly over time she outgrew these things. She is now 5 1/2. The other thing that worked was making her do work. If my daughter slugged another child I asked the teacher to make her clean things. My mantra was "if your good you get what you want, if your bad you get nothing". Keep in mind the terrible two's is not a fairy tale. We had an awfull time with our daughter until she was almost four. Diet helped, lots of communication, spend special time just with him, lots of physical activity, etc. He could be jealous of his baby sister. Figure out a reward system. With ours it was a movie at the end of the week. We tried money, trips to the store, whatever she wanted. If she was good until friday then she got a big reward. I also made her help in the house and although they are little, work really helps, like cleaning up their toys, etc. HaVE YOUR SON HELP YOU! This really makes a difference.

Those are all my tips. The best one given to me by another mother was to go in your bedroom and give yourself a time out when you get really frazzled. (Bring your daughter) I used that many, many times. In the least it helped me. :-)

Good luck to you. This will pass and your nice little boy will be back.

D.

Hi S.,
I am D., Director of Prenatal Plus - Yoga in Miami. I read your e-mail and am not an expert but do watch "Super Nanny" and have spent lots of time teaching children and seeing different personalities. First, I would suggest watching "Super Nanny" great show with lots of good info. Check out the times and if its too late, record it. Most of the time kids are reacting to others because they may feel they are not getting enough attention. He needs to learn to respond to the request of "we share and DO NOT take things from others" and if not then going to a certain place for time out. According to age, is how many minutes he is to sit there. If he gets up, put him back. Once his time is done, short and sweet, explain why he was there and have him apologize then a BIG HUG. Once he understands this cannot continue or he will suffer the consequence then he will change the behavior, (hopefully). Also, make sure he has his special truck and to keep them in a separate space if he does not want to share them. Mayber there are other toys he does want to share. Equality for everyone. Maybe a Star Board on the fridge to show everyday if he has behaved well, he gets a star and with "7" stars he gets a surprise...just a thought.
Best of luck,
D. Geymayr, R.Y.T., HBCE, CD, CLD
Prenatal Plus - Yoga
www.prenatalplusyoga.com

Try "1-2-3-Magic." There are books and DVDs about it. It is a discipline system using counting bad behaviors, and then time out. No spanking. It works if you do it correctly.
Do a web search. Maybe the books are in your local library. Good luck!

Hello,

Could it be that your son is jealous of the new baby?

there are a few things that come to mind. go buy and read the book easy to love difficult to discipline by becky bailey. it will give many helpful ideas to these problems. if you can find a concious disicipline class in your area that woudl be fabulous. if you are in south floorda let me know and i can give you the names of the teacher i know.

you need to teach him what to do instead of. most children use agression because they do not know the skills to use other ways of communication. So when hes angry, notice hes angry, then find out why hes angry. for instance, some other kid was ignoring him, then help him understand that when he wants someone elses attention this is how its done, not the agression. there are thousands of sinerios. going to a class that teaches concious discipline will be very helpful .

children will do what they can to get attention. even if its only negative attention. i think this book will be very helpful. if you need to email me more specifics you can email me at ____@____.com by the way, the sorrys that he says are because hes tought that sayign sorry makes everything better. he doesnt feel bad. sorrys dont fix behaviour . hes too young to understand the meaning of the word. and will continue to use it to not be held responsible for his actions. and your exactly right. so you need to teach him what to do instead of the bad thing he is doing. its not ok to hit. and when you hit, you are not allowed to be in this room. when you want someones attention you need to .. blah blah ... put a hand on someones shoulder gently etc... then when he does it, PRAISE PRAISE PRAISE.

you need to teach him that good behavious gets attention. not bad behaviour. which is what he does now.

S. I understand your problem. My recomendation is to take your son to be evaluate. Talk to your pediatrician about the issue and I am sure you will find help. My son is 8 years old now and he was diagnosted with ADD since he was 4 years old. Good Luck.
A.
P.S. In Ocala Dr Saha at Central Pediatrics is great with ADHD/ADD

Hi S.,

I have a 4&1/2 yr old son who was a very difficult problem child. After I had him I swore off having any more kids (however my daughter came along as an unexpected surprise) anyway, you should know at 2 you really can do nothing more than what you are doing now (keeping his toy's from him giving him time out etc) at 2 they're understanding is very limited and it's really really hard to get them to change. They basically grow out of it when they are good and ready. But the good thing is that they do grow out of it. So be patient and keep giving lots of love and a little discipline and eventually this to shall pass. I'm living proof that they eventually do change and you'll eventually get him to behave.
My son is no angel, but we've come a long way. so expect it to get worse before it gets better but it will get better!!
GOOD LUCK!!!

I would definitely try Behavior therapy. There's a place near Colonial and Bumby area called Quest Kids, which is phenomenal for helping with problem behaviors. They have a lot of kids with autism since those frequently have problem behaviors, but I know they also deal with typical children who have disruptive. They can also visit the school and give plans or suggestions. The director, Stacy Millard, is great and she's a Certified Behavior Analyst. Schools are also supposed to have Behavior Specialists either on campus or available- your son may need to have a BIP, Behavior Intervention Plan, in place, which will govern how his various behaviors are dealt with. It helps if there is a plan that is implemented in a consistent fashion. But if your son is not in any type of special ed program, they might give you a hard time about bringing in a Behavior Specialist.
Regardless I would try some therapy sesions at Quest Kids. They are not cheap- around $50 per hour, but you might notice a quick change and the money is well spent. Families with low incomes qualify for lower rates. Their number is ###-###-####. Good luck!!

S.,
You know, I think he might be just a bit jealous of his little sister. Typicaly, 2 year olds do not have the skills to express themself appropriately. At his age, he is searching for things he can control since so much of his day is mapped out for him. I have three children 11, 9 and 18 months. Lets face it, our lives are hectic! I would try to relax. Leave sister with a sitter and spend some one on one time with big brother.....Good luck. S.

Hi Shiela, my name is C.. Coincidently, I have a two year old daughter, who turned 2 in June, who actually acts the same exact way. She has a brother now just about 4 weeks old. I don't have much of a problem with those two yet, possibly because she has her cousins as visitors for the next two weeks and has had them here ever since her brother was born. I do know that her behavior will probably change after they are gone. However, if they are playing with something, she has to have it. If they give it to her and pick up somethng else, she has to have that toy as well. If they do not give it to her, she screams and lets out a high pitched scream that could break a glass....every single time. She purposely hits and pushes them for no apparent reason. If they are asleep, i have seen her step on them to awaken them, and her cousins are 5,6 and 8, the little boy is 6 and the girls are 5 and 8, and she fights all three!!! So I sympathize with your situation however as a mother that is going through the exact same thing that you are, all i can say is that this is what terrible twos are like and unfortunatley no matter how sorry they say they are, time outs and punishments do not do anything because as you've probably seen from experience, it doesn't work; they continue to misbehave the same exact way, even after they've apologized!!!! If you are interested in speaking further, I would love to. Please feel free to contact me. Good luck and trust me when I say, do not let it stress you out because he will be this way for a while.

S., Stress less. : ) Your son is officially 2! But here is a little advice. First, two year olds respond poorly to logic and reason. Subsequently, removal of priveleges is usually futile. Instead, two year olds respond better to immediate punishment. If he won't share the cars with others then he gets no cars. Quickly remove him from the situation and reprimand him. "Friends share. If you can't share your friends won't want to play with you." Everyone needs acceptance. When he gets the message that not sharing means removal from acceptance he'll begin to modify his behavior. It takes time and patience mainly because as adults we expect that our kids see things as logically as we do. But at this point kids are more like Pavlov's dogs (sorry about the comparison). In other words, conditioning. That means being consistent with the punishment and firm. If you survive the twos which can be unbearable at times, and explain why some eat their young, you will be happy to know that by the time their 6 they are SPLENDID!! And they will totally adore you!

Good Luck!
C.

hi wow well, i can say you sound like a great mom so keep it up ., dont stop at the displicine youve allready set,it just mighht take longer to set in for him,i dont know much but i sometimes can read kids by there sign,when his bday?(only if that doesnt bother you )(: ,but its kind of fun because you can kindof catch people.anyway o try asking him why does he like to hit...?and why he has to apologize?
well take care and keep in touch,AND DONT STOP TAKING GOOD ADVISE.THIS COULD BE NORMAL????
sorry bout the text ,got 1 year in my lap:)
BLESSING NTN

Hi S.,
My name is K. mother and wife,i also have a 2 yr old and expecting twins,a boy and girl.I'm in bed rest,anyway i think your son probably needs more of your attention and less sugar, you know how they say sugar makes them very hypper,i'm not sure of that but it may be true,but my advice to you is to give him more of your attention and do little sharing games with him.good luck.