2 Yr Old Saying a Very Bad Word!

I take the approach that they are trying to get a reaction, and that they don't know what the word is that they are saying. My first step is to correct with a different word. I act like the "naughty" word doesn't make any sense to me. "I don't know what that word is, do you mean shoot?" At that age, they are trying to say things correctly, so they will usually try to self correct. If you *really* want to get that new word stuck in their heads to replace the offending word, let out a laugh when they say the new word. This worked like a charm for my oldest son who was always looking for a reaction out of me.

I think that at the age of 2, they are not developmentally ready to understand the difference between "bad" and "good" words. They are only words, and at this age empathy is not quite there yet. I would hate to traumatize a child so young with "cleaning their mouth out". I always prefer a gentle approach.

My son did the same thing and did say it in public. I told him that when he says that word it makes mommy and daddy very sad. (it was hard to keep hubby from laughing and making it worse). I then told him that "Oh Man" was much better and wouldn't make me sad at all. He really didn't want to make me sad so he started saying oh man instead. Now I have to be honest he has not forgot the bad word!! It slipped the other day and I did the same thing... You made mommy very sad and walked away - he felt bad and said oh man then apologized. good Luck!

According to Behavioral Analysis the first respondent is correct, but I would add another couple of steps to the mix. First every child, even two year olds, need to be given a set of expectations, so a couple of hours on and off before leaving the house you could make it a routine to talk with your two year old about what behaviors are expected when you leave the house. You could focus on safety (i.e. holding hands when you cross the road), using an inside voice when in the store, sharing toys when with a friend, etc. These little scenarios give you a basis for what behaviors to look for and reward with a quick word of praise. Then if he does happen to say the bad word, allow yourself to be only a little bit embarrassed, but know that you are working on long term behaviors and focus on that (years down the road you will have a humorous embarrassing story to share). So, ignore the bad word and give praise when does things that you DO like. The trick is not to give praise every five minutes or anything like that, but to give reinforcements for behaviors you desire - rather than reinforcing (which can be ANY attention) to things that you don't. As long as you are consistent, this process works with just about everything and every age group! It may take a couple of days to work, but perhaps those days you can just hunker down in the house! Another idea is to incorporate his older sister into the ignoring the word too. She is old enough to understand the concept that he may just be doing it because he likes the attention. Perhaps when her brother goes for a couple hours without saying the bad word, his sister can initiate a fun activity with him as a subconscious reward! This also provides your daughter with skills which she can use in her future life too!
Good luck and I too would love to know how you decided to handle it and the about the outcome! There is more than one way to "skin a cat" and I'm never to old to learn a new trick!

Teach him a new and exciting word that will replace the bad word. Make it a word that no one his age would know and that way he will feel big about the word. I found that Fiddlesticks worked for my son when he came up with words that I did not find appropriate. He worked so hard on such a big word that he forgot all of the others. Kids will pick up words everywhere they go so you have to be equiped with some new words of your own. Good Luck.

Hello, i have a two year old too and she did the same thing. Then i just didn't give her attention when she said that word and it stopped. It just seemed that se wanted the feedback that she was getting from us when she was saying it. I also had to tell my 7 year old to ignore her and tell him that she didnt know what it meant so he wouldnt make a big deal about it either. Good Luck.

My son went throught this also, and after observing him, I decided that he was doing it to get a reaction. So, most of the time I ignored him. It did stop, and it didn't seem to take very long. I would also try to talk with your daughter, explain why he is doing it, that it is not appropriate, but to not react. He may be getting a kick out of seeing her reaction. Good luck.

A little about me:
Married working mom of 4.5 yr old boy and 9 mo. old girl.

Hello, I am a 26 year old with a 2year old and a 9 in a half mo. old little boys...my oldest son has picked up bad words from my brother. I was worried and embarassed as well. I started talking to my mom about this and she has some really old baby book that helps you with all kinds of issues like bad words. The book said that when little kids use bad words to ignore them (I know that is hard) because your child if trying to make you upset. I have done that and also when my son says a word like sh** I will tell him a different word that kinda of sounds like that, like shoot. Both of these things work for me. Good Luck!

I have heard that the best approach is to not draw attention to it, especially at this age. If the word gets any sort of attention at all, they quickly understand that it is powerful, positive or negative. I know it is very hard to hear your little one say such terrible things, but ignoring can be your best method to help him forget the word.

Hi N.,

Kids at that age just copy what they hear from others and they often don't know the meaning of the words they speak. They just seem to be happy to master another new word. I don't think time-outs will help to get rid of bad words. I would try to stay calm and not give him any emotional feed back on it. And definitely, I wouldn't discuss it with others in his presence. All this will encourage him to repeat the word(s). A firm: "No" and "mommy or daddy don't like" that word and, then carry on with your normal routine. Depending on his maturity, I would calmly ask him, if he understands the meaning of what he's saying and also let him know, that certain words can hurt people's feelings. Then I would ask him how he would feel, if someone would hurt him. At that age, a lot of these questions will have to be answered by you, as he most likely won't have enough words and/or understanding, but eventually he will understand what you expect of him. I'm a mother of three and a nanny and this works for me. Please give me your feed back. Thanks. E.

When my daughter was 2 we had that same thing happen (only I'm pretty sure it was from something she heard me say - boy they can remember things you don't want them to early on) and I sat her down and explained that what she had said was a bad word and that she would get in trouble for saying things like that. With a simple explanation and a few times reminding her and taking away candy for a day or a special toy for saying a "bad" word (whatever was important to her that day - it changed frequently), she got the idea that it was really something that my husband and I were serious about and stopped. We tried not to make a big deal about it hoping that she would forget but when that didn't work, the reinforcement from removing something for a few hours up to an entire day really helped. Bear in mind, when you take away that cool toy or stuffed animal for a while, you will have to deal with the tears, but it worked for us and hopefully it can work for you, too.

when my first child started saying a bad word, for instance I think it was "damn" I immediately corrected him and told him it was "darn" instead of the other. If your child says "s@#t" then correct him by saying, "no, it's shoot" or something like that. Find a word that might have the similar emotion, but appropriate language for the age level. Then every time they say the bad word, correct it with the similar word...It only takes a few times before he/she corrects themselves because they want to speak the words properly. Sort of reverse psychology, I guess. You take the reaction out of the bad word. I always heard that if you react to the wrong word by showing attention whether positive or negative they will keep saying it to get the reaction. Just blow it off and correct them with a different word instead.

That worked for me...

We put the soap in the mouth. We have liquid soap so I'd put a little drop on my finger and then on my daughter's tongue. She wasn't too happy about it but after a couple times we had no more problems (our problem was screaming for no reason). Good luck!

N.,
I didn't read all the posts but I did as one mom did with the soap thing. I also said that they were dirty words and I washed his mouth out with soap....only had to do it one time. May not work for everyone but it worked for me.
He is also getting a reaction from his sister so it may take a while.
Good luck,
L.

when my daughter was that age she learned a few words and would say them. After I had told her to stop I let her know if she cursed again I would put soap on her tongue. She did it and I put the soap on the tip of her tongue she has not cursed since. I did have some niece that would say the N word alot about a year ago I used the same thing on those teenagers. They stop also.

My husband and I try to show the kids that our family is a team. We put our hands together and shout the letters of our last name. This is good for them in many ways. When my 2 1/2 yr old acts up, sometimes I use the approach by saying something like this, "Remember, you are part of the 'your last name here' family, and we don't speak that way." I let them know that when he say bad words it makes everyone in the family look mean. (I say it this way so that my 2 yr old might understand my words.) It really works!!!
Here is the catch...be sure that the person that uses these bad words stops doing so within earshot of your child.

Well, many moms may disagree, but when my boys said bad words, I told them that bad words are dirty words. I explained that when things get dirty, we have to wash them. They understood this. I then told them that if they decided to say a dirty word, I would have to wash their mouth. One tiny drop of liquid hand soap (NOT anti-bacterial) was enough and they never said them again.

You could try giving him 1/2 tsp of Apple Cider Vinegar. It wont hurt him just taste very nasty. When my little one has a naughty mouth that is what I give him. I have only had to give it to him twice. I tell him stop acting like that or he will get naughty mouth medicine. And he stops acting the way he is not suppose to be be acting.

When I was his age, I did the exact same thing. My mother and father who were divorced , got together and discussed what was best. From then on out, anytime I said the bad word, they put soap in my mouth since they did not believe in spanking. And it worked. I know the soap in the mouth is an old trick but it worked for me.

Tell him that word is so bad, that you have to clean it out of his mouth, then give him a spoonful of apple cidar vinegar. It's won't hurt him, in fact it's good for him, but it tastes HORRIBLE!!

I would suggest that you are overreacting. If he gets a reaction, he will continue to se this word and quite often. Try ignoring it for a little bit and see if it goes away.

Hi N.
I have to disagree with the whole ignore it approach. There are certain things in parenting that we can ignore, but when it comes to hurtful words or behavior turning our back does not help. They will learn words or phrases through other kids, cartoons, and other adults daily but that doesn't mean that it is alright. Maybe if he said it one time, but it sounds like he is using this word alot. It needs to be addressed.
I have used the time out or removale from the enviroment until they appologize. We then explain that this is a mean word and it is not o.k.! Do it everytime (at home, or in public). Repeatition really is effective (and exhausting)! Pick a place in your home to send him or take him (ours was his room on the recliner or on his bed). Tell him as soon as he says sorry, (we have them say sorry, will you forgive me?) he can go play. If you are at a restraunt or dinner table, turn the high chair around and tell him as soon as he says sorry, he can join the rest of the family. Shopping is harder, but come up with a plan. Maybe you could park the buggy in an isle and turn your back until he is ready to say sorry (get creative but be consistant).
I have 3 boys and we did not do this with the first 2. We struggled and flailed about. This works beautifully and it brings such joy to see him respond immediately. It only took us a week of establishing this discipline and now it is used on everything. He responds almost immediately with apologies, hugs, and a smile. He is 3 1/2 now so we have changed the time outs to 3 mins. before he can come out.

Good Luck,
W.

I had the same thing happen with my son. If he gets a reaction out of you, of any kind, he knows to use that word to get attention again. So, just ignore him when he says it and he will most likely quit saying it after a few times. Just explain to your daughter why she should ignore him or walk away. She is old enough to help you with this. Good luck.

How about a good old fashioned SPANKING.