20 Month Old Back to Waking/Nursing All Night

I did choose to night-wean my son the AP-friendly way and have had to do it more than once. It seems that every time we change his routine or he gets sick he needs comfort during the night that only mommy and milk can provide.

The most AP (attachment parenting) friendly method of night-weaning that I have found is Dr. Jay Gordon's: http://www.drjaygordon.com/development/ap/sleep.asp

Good for you for not sleep training or weaning!

We co-sleep with our daughter and I nursed her until she was 28 months old. Whenever she had her bouts of marathon night time nursing she was usually coming down with a cold or teething. If your daughter is not experiencing either of those I suggest keeping up with your routine but only let her nurse for a very short time on each side then cuddle until she falls back to sleep. If you nurse on your side at night you might want to sit up instead and make it a bit uncomfortable for your daughter so she won't like it as much.
At 20 months your daughter is getting pretty smart. She knows that you are tired and if she cries you will give in. We don't believe in the cry it out method by any means. However there were a few times when I just couldn't do it any more and we would both cry. I cried for lack of sleep and our daughter just cried in my arms. Eventually she would fall asleep but I didn't leave her alone to cry.

You are a great mommy for caring so much about your daughters feelings. Long term nursing isn't for everyone. But those of us who are committed to it know the joy, comfort, and unbelievable bond it brings to both mother and child. This is probably just a reaction to your leaving for 5 days and she's making up for lost time. Good luck!

Break the habit now! I understand that you just want her to feel better, but at this age they get so attached to anything involved with sleeping and drinking (eatting too, but drinking is usually worse). I know how you feel, though- in December my husband took my daughter to visit his parents and I couldn't go. She was a lot clingier when she got back, but I got her right back on her regular routine and she got over it. I wouldn't give her a bottle, either, just hold her (if she has a binky, go with that) and tell her she's too big to eat at night. I mean, really, I applaud you for breastfeeding so long, but some of the other baby habits probably need to go! A 20 month old shouldn't really have a bottle at all. And if she is using the sucking to go to sleep you're just delaying the inevitable of her having to relearn to go to sleep on her own- in fact, if she needs to feed to go to sleep at night that may be part of the problem. So throw in lots of extra snuggles during the day, be prepared for a few sleepless nights, and be patient! And I don't dig the cry it out thing, either. There are other ways! I never did cry it out or "sleep training" (that said, under certain circumstances there were times she cried in bed), and my daughter has fallen asleep on her own in her own bed since she was 10 months old.

When my youngest was about 22 months we had a similar problem. Some sickness kept going around and my little boy got sick. He takes comfort from breastfeeding, as at that age and amount of intake, breastfeeding wasn't really about getting a full tummy. He liked the closeness and comfort of having mommy right next to him and knowing that he was the center of my time. All children get clingy at certain times, don't let anyone tell you it only happens once, it can happen at several different ages.
I had to wait until he was well, and then simply didn't offer the breast everytime he wanted it. I offered only during his regular times, but during the times that he wanted to breastfeed but wasn't allowed, I simply walked him (daddy would do it sometimes too). Holding him close and talking to him seemed to give him the comfort and closeness he craved while walking him kept him from thinking that he was going to get fed (thus limiting frustration). Sometimes he did cry, but kids cry sometimes when they don't get their way. I'm sorry, I can't agree with never letting them cry it out, sometimes that is the best way for both of you.

I think it will pass and she'll go back to her normal sleeping patterns. Just reassure her that you are there for her. Try to see if she will snuggle instead of nurse. Keep talking to her. And hang in there. They all go through so many changes. Yep, I agree with you. I don't like that cry it out method either. Good for you. You are doing a great job.

R.

I don't agree with nursing once they can talk and walk! It’s for you not for her. No nutritional value comes from breast milk after 13 months, only comfort. I am not trying to be mean, but there are other ways to bond with your child other then breastfeeding. Wrap her in a cozy blanket rock her, sing to her, or whatever just let her know your there. Make sure she has a full tummy, a nice relaxing warm bath, and massage with some lovely lavender oil before putting her down to bed. Always worked wonders for my girl. You make the decision to let her dictate your evening and "her routine". What is it that you want? Manifest it and make it happen. Positive thoughts, energy and a certainty of what you want the outcome to be will be your guiding light.

Peace~Love~Light
V.