20 Month Old Biting His Sister

Sadly, this is so normal and typical of this age. lol

Watch what's going on to know the full dynamic. Talk to both children; if he's biting because he's feeling picked on or "defending" himself, sister needs to be attended to as well.

I've always grabbed my biters and tapped their mouths (tap=one flat finger between the fist and second knuckle)one or two times and tell them "NO SIR" or "NO MA'AM", hold him/her while comforting the bitten one and tell my biter "owie" then I take them to the kitchen and give them something that IS for biting, "brother/sister isn't for biting, THIS is for biting" I also talk to my bitten one and walk through the scenario, "if you see him/her coming at you, MOVE...if you're being mean that's the only thing s/he has to get you back with so BE NICE!" Biting usually only happens a couple of times with my little ones.

BITE HIM!! my grandma was a kindergarten teacher and had one little girl who would bite everyone all the time. Grandma bit her once, and she never bit anyone in her class again.

i have kids the same ages doing the same thing. i have tried several approaches (already mentioned), but the last one, that seemed to help was what i've heard works on dogs. put your finger in his mouth and push down on the flesh under his tounge while repremanding "do not bite". for some reason this worked for mine... hope it helps with yours.

Dear J.,
My son was also a biter. I tried everything to get him to stop. The only thing that worked for him was hot sauce. Just a tiny bit on your finger rubbed in their mouth. I only had to do it twice and problem solved! Good luck!

T. W.

HI J.,
I have 5 children and have gone through this with the oldest 4. #5 isn't old enough yet. I have only had to deal with my kids biting one time each. After they make their first bite on someone I pop them in the mouth, hard enough to hurt without causing a fat lip, and tell them extremely firmly, "No! We do NOT bite!" and they've never bitten again. Its worked 4 times over now. Good luck with this.

C.

Don't let biting be part of play. My 8 year old will let my 18m old bite her until it starts to hurt. Until then, they are roughhousing and giggling -- baby doesn't know he has crossed the line. A stern "No biting" and then removing him to the couch at least stops the cycle.

I'm going to buy "Teeth Are Not For Biting," a toddler-oriented board book I have read in the past. The companion, "Feet Are Not For Kicking" was very effective when my other child was 2 and struggled with that concept.

When my boy went through the hitting stage his dad would get down on the floor with him and do things to provoke the hitting. If my boy hit him he would immediately get a time out. After the time out (he was two at the time so got a two minute time out) his dad would start the process over again. After about two half hour sessions on different days the problem was significantly lower. The same thing could work for the biting too. You just have to be consistent so that they know that the same thing happens every time they bite/hit. Even if it is just a "playful" bite/hit. Always remeber to show your love after a time out. One time about a year ago my boy got out of a time out and asked, "Mommy, do you still love me?" It about broke my heart but it was a good reminder that I needed to say it more often. Good luck!

This is normal. Firmly say "NO!" and IMMEDIATELY put your son in timeout after he bites or hits. Put him in timeout for 1 minute (1 minute per year of age). I recommend books called "Teeth are not for biting" and "Hands are not for hitting." He may be acting out of frustration. Show him how to behave and use his words instead of biting or hitting.

My dd bit me only once, I jumped and accidently popped her in the mouth with my hand to move her and after that she hasn't bitten anyone again. She was fine and no blood was there, I think it scared her.

My 21 month old son has done this a little too...he has a speech delay, so I know he bites out of frustration--but that doesn't make it okay! I put him in time-out and tell him firmly "No Biting!". I am not sure how well it works. He has bitten me a few times when I have taken toys away, and I am just very firm and consistent about telling him no. I am sorry I don't have a better answer, but hopefully they will outgrow it!

Time outs have worked well for me with my 3 kids. Even when they are just 9-10 months old I start using "baby" time outs until they are old enough to stay in at time out corner. For a "baby" time out, I just say "no" firmly to them and then turn my back on them for 30 seconds. Amazingly even the little ones get that whatever they did was unacceptable. When my kids are about you son's age, I start to use the time out corner - it can be anywhere as long as there is no entertainment available - no tv, toys, etc. I leave them there for the same number of minutes as their age in years and completely ignore them. They all try to talk to you & get attention but I don't acknowledge them until the time out is over. My daughter always stayed in time out by herself, but it took some training with my son - for the first few months he wouldn't stay - he'd try to run. When he did that, I would gently pick him up & put him back in. When that happens, the time out starts over. I use this for biting, hitting or defying a parent. Other things, I try to pick my battles or have a more natural consequence. Good luck!

J.,

You may not want to do this, but it worked. My son was a little bit older than your son when he began biting other children, but not much. He was causing a lot of trouble at my sister's day-care by biting other children. Talking through the problem with him did not help. Spanking him did not help. So, I sat him down, explained to him that we don't bite other people because bites hurt, that he needed to stop biting others for that reason, and that I was going to bite him so that he understood how it felt. Then I lightly bit his arm to illustrate this. He cried. I felt terrible. And, he stopped biting other people. He had no trouble with biting after that.

There is a really good book called Siblings Without Rivalry.
It has kept my four kids from fighting for the past fifteen years.

Good luck,

K. Loidolt
Author, Shopper's Guide to Healthy Living

Patience and repititon, my 21 month old started it around 19/20 months, I laughed the first time he bit me (my bad!) so for the first few weeks it was rough and my 6 and 4 year old had a lot of bite marks, one or two each, I would tell him no, like your little guy and he would say "sowey" and be good for a few hours and then when he would get excited or mad I would see the mouth opening and stop him before it would happen. Two weeks ago after a big bite to my 6 year old (had been real good up to that point) I sat him on the couch, a miny time out, and told him sternly "NO bitting, that hurts!" He had to sit there for like a minute or two, he didn't like it at all and his feelings were so hurt, but I knew he was OK, unlike my poor son who had to good gouges out of his back. After his "time-out" I hugged him and kissed him and told him "no bitting" again and sent him off to play. We have only had two more instances of it since, and both times while overexcited. So keep doing what you are doing, it gets a little worse before it gets better, but it does get better.

Hi there
this is very frustrating
i suggest that when he does this that you should have a spay bottle with something yucky (vinager) and he should get a quick spritz
maybe the bitter taste in his mouth will stop the biting???

Teach him a more appropriate way to express his feelings. He might not be talking yet, but he's old enough to understand. If he does it when he's mad, ask him "did that make you feel mad/angry/frustrated/sad?". Sesame street has games online or videos/songs you could find on youtube that talk about feelings.

Once my boy understood his feelings had names, it was alot easier for him to deal with them. Then you have options. "When I'm mad, sometimes I stomp the floor, or hit a pillow. or need a hug. do you need a hug?"

Then you can teach him that biting makes his sister feel sad...and that she needs a hug now, too. Because it's not ok to hit/bite - that makes other people feel sad.

Once or twice I've had to ask, "do you want daddy to bite you?" "Then don't bite your sister.

This sounds crazy but it works my mom taught me. Next time he does this biting thing bite him just hard enough to know it hurts but not hard enough to really hurt??? my daughter when little cousins would bite she would kind of bite but push her teeth into the arm so they thot they were gettin hurt, they quit biting her so i know it works. My daughter was only 11 when she did this. Then explain thats why we don't bite/hit, they don't know it hurts till they feel the pain they are causing. My mom believed the Bible spare the rod spoil the child. Kids do need to know when they hurt some one what it feels like.
Good Luck. Like all advice take what you can use and let the rest go. My dad told me that one day. So I do that.Even now.

My 2 year old started hitting her older sister when she was 1. We taught our daughter to grab her hand, hold it and tell her, "No, Lily...do not hit me," in a strong, stern voice. After a while, I'm pretty sure that our baby learned that our daughter was not going to let her get away with hitting her (she's use objects, hit her in the face, etc.) and she stopped. It hasn't been an issue in quite a while now...in fact, I'd even forgotten about it!

Remove him from the situation. Tell him firmly, looking in his eyes that it is not ok to bite or hit, then move him to a different area. Time outs start to be effective at this age. Be consistent and firm and let him know that by your tone of voice that he can't do that. If you try the time outs, pick a spot that will always be the time out spot. A chair, a corner, a step, whatever. Consistently place him there when he bites or hits and let him sit there for about a minute or so. Less at first, till he understands he needs to stay there until you tell him he can get up. After the time out, he has to say sorry and give hugs. Then you can do the explaining that biting hurts people and is not ok. But initially, be firm and say, "No! We don't bite!" and put him in time out and walk away from him. Most toddlers his age go thru this phase, and it should end soon.

Let your daughter bite him back afew times. It is in self defence but make sure she knows this only until he stops.

My son always was biting or chewing something when his teeth bothered him. I would try to watch for these times and offer carrots and other hard food to releive the pain of teething. I could always tell because he would start putting jacket strings and other germy objects in his mouth. I would ask him if his teeth hurt and often he said yes. This happened even when he got his wisdom teeth at 18.
Good Luck,
C. B