20 Month Old Refusing to Nap

Updated on March 15, 2010
V.M. asks from Virginia Beach, VA
14 answers

First, let me start off by saying that neither of my boys are fans of sleeping - they are way to busy to be bothered with sleep. As soon as my 3 year could get out of his afternoon nap, he did. Lately, my 20 month old is refusing an afternoon nap - I am just thinking it is way to soon for him to be giving up his afternoon nap. Do any of you have any thoughts or suggestions on this. I just can not belive my 20 month can last all day without sleeping. If we go somewhere in the car he will fall asleep but as far as being at home I can not get him to sleep. Thanks

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C.W.

answers from Washington DC on

my son goes through this every couple of months. I put a few toys in his room and told him that if he doesn't want to sleep he can play quietly or read books. At least if he isn't sleeping he is doing something quietly. Usually he falls asleep in a few minutes after I leave. If he does cry or carry on, I leave him up there until around 3 PM. Put some things in his crib that he can do and then leave him until you think it is time for him to get up. For most kids, it is a phase. And as for the sleeping in the car, I remember reaching around and pinching them or trying desperately to keep them awake because if they fall asleep in the car, it is like in their mind, they have napped and you will not get them asleep again in that afternoon.

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L.A.

answers from Austin on

Your children need lots of active play. . Mid morning, they need at LEAST 1 hour 1 1/2 hours is best of really active running, screaming, climbing, riding bikes, swinging, swimming,hopping jumping. This active play makes a huge difference. Then bring them home and have a quiet lunch, (no tv or cell phone calls) a warm face and hand rub with a wash cloth and quiet time in their rooms with music, or sound machine. Since it is still so bright, you may need to get some black out curtains. ( I used to hang quilts) In the summer I turn down the air conditioner.

After nap, maybe some watered down juice and then some quiet play and then active play again, they really need to be able to just run. We used to gather as a neighborhood with some cold drinks and just let our kids run and play for as long as possible.. We would tell them, "run like the wind... Run some more, how fast can you run.. Jump, jump higher." Then in for dinner, a quiet bath and then pop them into bed.. It was awesome..

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K.H.

answers from Washington DC on

My 20 month old has been doing this aswell , & your right they cannot get through the day , but sometimes she will just not go to sleep , so if she won't nap then I let her miss it and put her to bed earlier on the evening , when she has missed the nap though she always takes it the next day.

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C.S.

answers from Las Vegas on

Well if he falls asleep in the car, then you know he is tired. He is just too wrapped up in this day to rest. I am that way. I love to stay up late, I enjoy my quiet time by myself. If I go to sleep too early, I will wake up about 2 a.m. and then have trouble going back to sleep. My trouble is when to say enough is enough and go lay down. Many time, if I lay down, I fall asleep, which says I am tired, otherwise I wouldn't sleep.

The preschools tend to get the majority of children to sleep during the day. They tone it down and make it routine. Try it.

As far as the car being quiet time, I think there is more to it. Kids fall asleep in the Rhinos (ATV) too. There is nothing quiet about a bumpy, loud ride in the desert. Something about the vibration of the car or something makes them sleep.

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I.C.

answers from Washington DC on

Yeah, not an easy one.
I had to actually use strategies that I was not finding acceptable at first:
putting a few toys, some quiet music and some books. It worked for some of my friends' kids, not for me.
Then I would lay beside him for a bit, until he would eventually dose off. Not always convenient, specially since nap time is THE ONLY time when you can get anything done in the house. It kind of worked a couple times. creates habit that is hard to break.
I reverted for the walk in a stroller. Can only work is your kid is interested in sleeping and you have time to walk for a while. And not if you have 2 kids...
I tried leaving him crying him out. Aweful but it worked about 75% of the time, if I was patient enough. Would go back in at a minimum of times, as each time it was just creating more agitation. If after 45 minutes no success (and my ears really hurting from this) then I would retrieved him from the room and play with him.
In the end I took the easy way, registered him full time to the kinder where he was already going in the morning - and he started napping again there.
But the main thing was a couple disruptions: new baby brother and a move. .. Check what is going on maybe???
Good luck

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T.C.

answers from Albuquerque on

Hi Victoria,
Both my boys (4 and 2) don't sleep at ever nap time. However, they *must* lie in bed and have, "quiet time" for the same length of time as their usual naps.
t

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S.M.

answers from Washington DC on

I finally tried putting my 20 month old in the Jumperoo at the tallest setting, turned some music on that she likes, and left the room for 20 minutes. Did the trick, no fussing. Then I transferred her to her crib when I was sure she was out. Or you could try putting the stroller in a place that's accessible, allow him to climb in it and try the same music trick. Maybe the crib itself is just not working anymore -- worth a try.

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R.H.

answers from Norfolk on

I believe children should take a nap until at least they start school. In my book though the def. of nap isn't sleep it's lay in the bed quietly. My children took naps until they started school because children need them no matter what they think. Most of the time more activity doesn't mean they are not tired it normally means they are tired...

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A.F.

answers from Washington DC on

My baby boy went thru a time when he did not think he wanted to nap. I just kept putting him in his bed at nap time and eventually he started napping again. Make sure you keep the nap times consistently at the same time every day. AF

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K.H.

answers from Richmond on

put the baby in a carseat or a bouncy seat.if they also sleep in the car, then put them in the car, wait until they doze off and then bring them back inside
to their bouncy seat
K. h.

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R.D.

answers from San Francisco on

My youngest son, now 22 did the exact same thing. He was a hyper little fellow when he was at that age and afternoon nap just wasn't in his agenda as much as I would have liked it to be. He will eventually go through a period of this and then around the 2 to 2 1/2 he will change again and lay down for his nap. If he is wound like a clock prior to trying to lie him down that won't work. If you want to lie him down perhaps put on a cartoon, something that will relax him. Put him on your knee and try to read to him. Make this a quiet time for him. If he's going to bed at a proper time in the evening and sleeping through the night, it is quite possible that he is slept out. Going for a ride is again "quiet time" thats why he falls asleep, nothing unusual about that. Give it time and you will find that he will eventually turn his cycle around. Good luck!! Pls. do not worry!!

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C.B.

answers from Washington DC on

Sometimes they go through phases where they just don't want to sleep, but I agree that 20 months is just to young to stay up all day. I would keep your same schedule and lay him down at the same time each day for his "nap". Put in a few quiet toys and books and tell him it's quiet time and he can get up when you come for him when quiet time is over. Chances are eventually he'll go back to napping during that time after awhile, but even if he doesn't it gives you a break. Have your older son go down for the same kind of quiet time too and you'll know that most days you'll at least get an hour or two to be able to think straight without being interrupted. I believe most days it's we moms that need the nap anyway!

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C.D.

answers from Washington DC on

My son gave up naps around 15 months for the most part, occassionally he would take a nap but not usually. I remember him being 3 months old and us doing everything to try and get him to nap, he would lay in his crib quietly for over an hour, his swing, us holding him and still he wouldn't sleep. He would be up all day from 8 am -6 or 7pm. Once he got older he just couldn't sit still to get to sleep. However, the car would always put him to sleep up until he was about 5. I don't have any advice but at least he's not the only kid doing it. Good luck.

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K.L.

answers from Washington DC on

My son is 21 months and we've gone through this from time to time. My husband or I will lay down with him and force him to lay down. Usually, within 10 mins, he's sound asleep. Other times we will have him lay down and watch a movie just to have some quiet time.

I don't believe that falling asleep in the car has to do with being tired, because I can easily fall asleep in the car. Its the motion and vibration.

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