L.W.
I can't tell you exactly what to do, only offer what I've done. I have 4 kids, 2.5 - 9. When my oldest was in preschool, he went through an awful phase like that. And he asked for time out and the office too! One teacher had the nerve to tell me that he would behave if I simply made him. I was in tears. It's not that simple. In the end, I figured out that he was bored. I started homeschooling. Now he's fine. Our schedule is flexible and we incorporate subjects he's interested in. If he decides to go back to regular school, he can. He does spend some time at a local school and always behaves and gets along great with the kids. My husband is also in the military and we move, so homeschooling is likely to continue. But obviously, not everyone has the time, patience, or ability to homeschool because of work or finances. My point is just that, maybe he is trying to get more of your attention. Is it possible to have more time together? Does he have to be in preschool every day? Does he need to be in a gym at 2? When you are together, maybe try to find things to do together that are fun and relaxing. Simple things even, like watching a cartoon together or coloring, or going for a walk. Kids need a lot of attention and we are frequently too busy to give it to them. (I also worked in a daycare for 5 years and swear never to do it again!) A teachers hands are tied as far as discipline, there isn't much she can do. At home you just have to keep up the consistency, your schedule is good. You'll find soon though that naptime is phasing out. I started putting them front of veggietales with a pillow and blanket when that happened, so they would at least rest. Your warnings and time out are exactly what I do. And if they laugh or talk in time out, I start the time over but other then that, I don't give them any response. They get 1 minute for each year they are old. If they are throwing a tantrum- I tell them it's uncalled for and then ignore them. After a few minutes they stop because I'm not affected by it. My oldest three do have charts. One for chores, one for schoolwork. For each two chores they get a star and for each completed day of school they get a star. Each schoolday star gets them 1/2 hour of video games and 5 chore stars get them 1 hour of video game time. They don't often earn the hour. My youngest son cares nothing about the charts and would rather just play with stickers. His incentives are things like coloring pages and craft projects with mommy, picking what we are eating for dinner (from choices I give of course), "playing" PBS kids online with his sister, My kids also rotate one on one time with a parent who has errands to run, although you only have one anyway. Something I do for my one on one time (this sounds funny but it's cheap) is go over to Publix when I need a few things and pick one thing from the bakery. Often it's chicken fingers or empanadas. Then we walk around and talk and munch. Then they pick out one box of cereal that they would like. It isn't much, but it's personal attention. Attention goes a long way in making them behave.