2.5 Year Old Is Waking up Throughout the Night! Help!

I had my kids sleep with me. It was the only way to get enough sleep. I tried the "let them cry for 5 minutes" thing and it was a temporary (and agonizing) fix.

My 2 1/2 year old son just started waking in the night because he is scared, having nightmares, doesn't like the dark.... we gave him a small flashlight to keep in his crib and so far it has worked fine.

Does she have a nightmare? Is she anxious about something?
My son went through something where he kept waiking up at night wanting me to come and lay down with him. After a while it became almost a habit. We tried some herbal drops that you can but probably at Pharmaca in Napa. They relaxed him and he sleped through the night without waking up. After a week I stopped giving it to him and he hasn't done it since.

ever thought about putting her in bed with you? would save getting up many time seach night..good luck...

Bring your toddler in bed with you and I imagine you'll be sleeping better in no time. Kids that young are learning that the world is a safe place and that her parents will be there when she needs them. You are showing her that by going to her when she cries (which is very good), but unfortunately it's running you ragged at a time when you need your sleep the most. People in most parts of the world sleep with their kids when they are that young. It is only Americans that are so intent upon forcing independence so early, at an age when they should building healthy attachments. Now, she is probably feeling extra insecure because of the impending birth of her sibling and is testing that she can still rely on you. She will excited about sleeping all night in her “big girl bed” when she is ready.

--the wife of a child psychotherapist and mother of a 5 year old who sleeps without a peep all night.

1. Put a night light in her room; max 6-8 watts
2. Is she too warm in her bed?(or too cold)
3. Did you sleep with her when she was a baby and she now has been acclimatised to need someone with her. Now is the time, albeit a little late, to break that bonding. You will have to tough that out but it can be done.
4. Is she eating well in the evening or not and suffering a low blood glucose two to four hours later that is keeping her alert and therefore awake?
5. Is there some noise such as a TV waking her up as the primary cause for wakefulness(or a husband working with his tools repairing the house)

K.,
We are having the same problem. I don't know what to tell you, but if I figure it out or get some great advise you will be the first to know. I can tell you that when my 13 year old was 2 and I had a new born we went through the same thing and she ended up sleeping with us just so we could get sleep, although it was not "good sleep". She eventually grew out of it. I NEVER had an issue with my second (now 10). But here I am the third time around and it is happening again. I want to say the issue is as individaul as the child. Keep me posted if you get some great advise. Thanks. J.

best of luck, I would put her in your bed, she's telling you something. I know this is short and maybe not very helpful but I do wish you the best and know that it will pass and your beautiful mothering skills will guide you to the answer

Get a bigger bed and put her in bed with you. Or move her into your room in a small bed.This is what kids really need and we fight and fight it. Let's return to being more aligned with nature.This is the top 'problem' on Mama source and it doesn't belong to the children it's our societies problem.

This started with the victorians (along many other things that work against nature); shunting little children off and away from their mama's at night. Nature has not changed at all and will not change therefore this continues to be a 'problem' for those who fight their natural inclinations. All animals sleep with their young - we are no exception. It is not good for the children to be forced against their natural instincts and it isn't good for mothers to fight their own natural instincts.

Think like a social anthropologist and question the institutions that have fostered these relatively recent practices - compared with human evolution and the ways of intact indigenous societies. Think deeply about about who it serves to keep mothers believing that isolating young children from themselves at night is 'normal' and desirable.

The breaking down of 'family values' is actually very different than what is portrayed in the media. Sleeping together,eating together,playing together - fosters happy work together, relieves resentments & meeting each others real emotional needs creates VERY satisfied ,secure human beings who truly stand by one another.These types of people are not so vulnerable to influences outside of their own personal convictions nor feel the kind of 'emptiness' that requires things( and substances) to fill it. They are mature,can manage their egos, have good common sense and don't spend their lives stuck in childhood trauma. On the average how natural is a typical modern birth experiance or death experiance for that matter - trying to make young children independant through isolation is simply on that whole continuim.

Is it any wonder why we are at such odds right now with the natural world that gives us our very life ? We can keep fighting nature or we can learn to think freely, feel deeply and increase the number of truly happy families.

I have a 2.5 year old boy and a 6 month old little baby girl. We are having the same problem, he is starting to wake up in the middle of the night, but so far I have nothing to say to you that really works.... But I have two friends who are in the exact same situation and I thought that just by knowing that, you would feel a little confort.. Just a reminder that it is all "normal" and part of the game.... If I get some advice that works I will let you know

Hi K.,
My daughter is also 2.5 yrs old. I received the book "Healthy Sleep Habits, Happy Child" by Dr. Weissbluth at a shower. I recommend this book to everyone! I know that my daughter has learned the art of manipulation and tried to do the same thing. I don't know about you guys, but we have been sleep training since birth and she has been sleeping thru the night since about 2 1/2 months old. When my daughter turned 2 she decided to stop napping. I still put her in a dark room for at least 1 hr to "rest". She sits in bed and talks, sings and tells stories to her stuffed kitty. She knows that I will NOT come in until it is time. The first thing I would suggest is an early bedtime. My daughter goes to bed at 6:30pm & is asleep by 7:00pm. She sleeps until 6-6:30am. If she wakes up in the middle of the night, I don't go in. Of course there are exceptions like illness. She will wake up more if she is very overtired, like after X-mas. Dr. Weissbluth believes it is our job to teach children healthy sleep habits like how to fall asleep without assistance and to fall back to sleep easily. We all wake during the night and if you don't learn how to roll over and go back to sleep it can set you up for future sleep problems. I am living proof. If it were me, I would explain to your daughter that it is bedtime & you aren't coming back in until the morning and stick with it. She will cry, but try to remember it is for her own good. I highly recommend getting that book. He has many good techniques for good sleep. Email me if you have questions or want to talk.
Good luck,
L.

Children are very sensitive. She is probably also sensing the new arrival. It might be a good idea to have her scribble/draw what she feels like, and talk about it in the day and get an idea what she is dealing with. i would also check her diet, in case she is eating something that is too stimulating or spicy before bed.

Have her sleep with you! She will feel secure and won't need to wake up every hour because you will be right by her side. :0)

Hi K.,
I have a 5 and 2 year old that have gone thru that at times. I pray over them. I think kids are more sensetive to things than we are. There is no telling what is causing it. I would go and put my hands on her and pray that the Lord would protect her and help her sleep soundly, pray for protection over that sweet baby and clear her mind of what is waking her from sleep. It always works for us. Also, kids knowing that even when you are not there that God is with them can be comforting.
T.

Keep your little one up as much as possible throughout the day so they will be totally exhausted by nightfall. Have them do some running and jumping jacks or something. Also a nice glass of warm milk might help. Good luck!

No matter what your faith is, Read to her a Bible story or from a children's Bible before she goes to sleep. Keep a night light on all night and give her a special snuggle buddy if she should happen to feel insecure. We would always say good night prayers with our children and pray for pleasant dreams too.

K.:

Have you tried getting one of those bears or something with the sound of a heartbeat. My grandaughter has one and it helps. Or play soft music in her room and have a night light. Make sure she goes to bed at the same time every night. And does she has a nap every day?

Hi K.,
I went through this with my son in my third trimester with my daughter too. (the kids are 29 months apart). He began waking in my third trimester and the closer I got to due date, the more often he woke. He sensed things were going to change, but wasn't sure how it was going to affect him. We found that if we stopped talking about the new baby so much (especially before bed) that helped a lot, plus lots and lots of extra hugs and kisses and cuddling time in the evenings seemed to make a huge difference (by both me and my husband). We also picked up a bunch of books about new siblings and started reading them during the day, and tried to hang out with his friends that already had a younger sibling to point out how cool it could be. We just tried to keep a simple routine so he knew what to expect, and continued that after the baby arrived so he still knew what to expect. We also moved his bedtime a little earlier, since he was so exhausted from waking so often that it was causing him to wake more often, perpetuating the problem. When he did wake in the night, we went to him to comfort his very quickly, recover, etc, a quick kiss and then left him to fall back to sleep on his own. We did not allow him into our bed or get in bed with him, except if he was sick or had a bad dream or something where he was hysterical. We also found that a white noise machine in his room worked wonders at getting him to fall asleep and stay asleep. Hope this helps. Good luck. We got the problem under control before the new baby came, and were pleasantly suprised that it didn't start again once our little sister came home. (Again, white noise helped drown out her middle of the night screams to be fed.)

Same thing is happening with my 2.5 yo right now! She has been scared of bears coming in the house and had a dream about a monster who lived across the street. A friend told us to just "spray" for monsters, etc. before turning out the light. So, with an invisible bottle, we have sprayed each door and window of her BR the last two nights and she has not been waking from scary dreams, but still wakes and calls for water. Maybe it is a fear-thing?

I don't know what it is about 2.5, but that happened with our daughter at that age, and to most of the kids in our playgroup, too.

She was clearly really scared so we didn't even consider CIO, but tried to make comforting as brief as possible -- reassurances and pats but no extra conversation.

Once we got her a nightlight and let her keep the door ajar. she didn't seem to want more than comforting, went to sleep quickly and after a few weeks (of really awful fatigue for us parents) this passed (like so many phases).

She's back to being a great sleeper again at 3 yo, has been for months. But I don't recall that period very fondly :)

Good luck!

K., we're in a similar situation! (#1 is 2 yrs old & #2 due in early April). We battled the sleep through the night early on, but I'm afraid it may make a come back with the big boy bed intro. A friend recommended the night time pass. Then I saw an example in a parenting magazine. Decorate 2 cards/popsicle sticks/something all fancy per your 2 yr old preferences. (the mom in the magazine used flowers, our friend used Thomas stickers on cardstock) Tell your child that s/he may ONLY get a drink/get up/have mom&dad with a pass. Once the passes are gone, that's it. No more. It took a while but she said after a week of using 2 passes, they got down to one pass, then no passes. Hope this helps!
Hally

This is a VERY quick thought for you - Bear in mind that this is an age where many children begin to have more dreams adn/or to be more aware of their dreams. This can be disconcerting in and of itself. In addition, some children begin to have scary dreams about this age. It corresponds, typically, to cognitive leaps and development. This might help you in a practical way by helping you understand what's going on - if you can determine or guess that it's dreaming that might be waking her up. Explaining what's going on, having a nightlight or special toy or something else that she can use autonomously to ease herself back to sleep, or just hanging in there and helping her in person for a little while. It's almost certainly a stage/phase -- by the time you're really at wits end it will likely resolve. The truth is that she wouldn't call to you if she didn't need you. Chidlren really do need the personal contact of nighttime parenting.

Hi K.,
It could have something to do with the upcoming arrival of a new sibling. Older kids have anxiety about this kind of event and can have fears that they will loose their place. My daughter went through something like this before and then after my son was born. It helps to reassure them that there will be just as loved once a new baby comes and they will need special time with mom in particular once baby arrives. hard to achieve but worth it for all.
just a theory. could very well be something else. does she have a friend (doll or animal ) to sleep with? somethink to look in her room when she wakes up (a night light/) you can help her to identify what she can do to find comfort in the night.
good luck
C. P

I also used calming music in my son's room or an air purifier which created white noise. When he started to develop fears at 3 1/2, I got him a little battery powered plastic lantern or flashlight that he kept with him in his bed. If he got scared he could turn that on. He also aquired a special stuffed friend to sleep with which I think helped. I even read him children's books that deal with fears and bedtime. Once he learned his numbers I put an alarm clock in his room and told him he couldn't come in mommy and daddy's room until 6:00. If the clock said anything else he had to close his eyes and go back to sleep. I have seen a big improvement in his sleep habits since I implemented all of the above. He has always been a light sleeper and hasn't required much sleep since birth.
It took a lot of patience, love, and encouragement to get him to sleep through the night, comfort himself, and put himself back to sleep. I try and communicate with him as much as possible about why he is waking up and what might be bothering him. Not feeling well? Do you have to go potty? Scared? Are you cold or hot? This has really helped me to understand where he is coming from and how best to help him get a good nights sleep.

Hi K., my children never sleep through the night until around age 4.... So be patient...ask her why she thinks she is waking up if she already talking. Then explain that she can find a special stuffed animal that she feels will comfort her during the night. At her age tell her it has great comforting skills to help her sleep through the night and she will enjoy going shopping and encourage her to rely on that for comfort it may take some time but if you continue to go to her she has already set up a pattern so you will have to be strong for her and remind her before bed time set up a routine for insuring her comfort buddy will be their if she wakes up....

I'm having the same problem with my 1.5 yr old. I used Healthy Sleep Habits when he was an infant and it worked for awhile until he had a rash of ear infections. Now we've tried CIO and it is NOT working. I think every child is different as far as sleep goes. Some kids respond well to CIO and others do not and it varies with age. I have friends who it worked for with one child and not the other. My daughter was rocked to sleep every night and slept really well. My son is a whole different story :(

Good luck and let us know what you do! I need to figure something out as well! I've tried him sleeping with us and he just wants to play - I'm a tired mama!

I used to keep a radio on playing soft music, it seemed to soothe the kids when they woke up and helped them go backto sleep. Also having a nice cozzy stuffed friend to hold on to worked! Good luck!

Our 2.5 year old did the same thing right before our daughter was born and after. We had to go over rules with him before bed time. If he cried we went in and explained that we will not come back in if he cries again. It took a week, but he is sleeping through the night again and he is use to his sister now. She is 8 weeks old. It won't last too long.

Hi K. i had a little one the would do when he was little and it could be frustrating especially when we wake up tired i know the feeling any ways why don't u try puting a small bed in your room or have her sleep on one of those blow up beds she might feel safe if she's in the room with u pray everything works out let me know what happens k D. sartuche

I recommend Jill Spivack & Jennifer Waldberger's book, THE SLEEPEASY SOLUTION. You can also get this book on DVD or audio. Amazon has great prices. When I lived in L.A., Jill was my group leader in a Mommy & Me class and she's a pediatric sleep specialist. My son woke up every hour or 2 for many months. It didn't matter if I kept him in his crib or in bed w/me, he woke up all the time and needed by breast as a pacifier. I was exhausted and cranky b/c I couldn't get any sleep. It was hard on my marriage and my mood. Jill and her sleep techniques helped my son sleep through the night within a week! He became the happiest child and my husband and I could actually have time together. Many of my friends who believed in having kids in their bed ended up going to Jill for help after a couple of years of having their children waking up all the time. The bottom line, babies and children need to learn to fall asleep on their own without too many external aids. The book will address sleep issues for babies and children from 5 months to 5 years. Make sure your child doesn't have health issues before training her to sleep. Good luck!

Hi K.! We had the same problem with our son who is also 2.5 years old. What we figured out was that we were putting him to bed too late so he was having trouble falling asleep and staying asleep. So now we do dinner, our bathtime routine, read a book in bed and lights off between 7 and 7:30 (you have to be flexible, right???). We also leave his Baby Einstein CD going very low to drown out any other noises. So maybe you can make your daughter's bedtime a little earlier so she is not overly exhausted!

I have read the other advice that you have been given and I see that a lot of people say to put her in your bed. Don't! We made that mistake and for months (when I was pregnant, now our youngest son is 4 months) he would crawl into bed with us and we would let him b/c we were tired of the struggle. Well my husband and I suffered b/c we were exhausted and then having to break the habit was excrutiating! We also tried going and laying with him and then that was the only way he would fall asleep, big mistake!

However, you need to do what is going to work for your family. Trial and error is what it is going to take and maybe taking little pieces of advice from others who have been there!

Good luck and sweet dreams!
T.

K.,
I had similar issues with my now 3 year old. I read all the books, tried sleeping with him, changing his diet, etc. If all this doesn't work and your pediatrician can't help either, please consider a specialist. I waited way too long and finally got my son diagnosed at the Stanford Sleep Disorder Clinic. They did an overnight sleep study where they monitored him and found out he was waking because he had sleep apnea. He literally stopped breathing 41 times in 7 hours! Children automatically wake up when they stop breathing and often go back to sleep but still will scream out enough that it is brutal. I didn't sleep for years and will forever regret not looking into the medical reasons sooner. Unlike pediatricians, the sleep specialists are equipped to diagnose the difference between social conditions, bad habits, night terrors or medical causes. The overnight test is painless and usually covered by insurance. I feel your pain...good luck!

Hello there!! I feel for you.It is hard to be a happy loving Mommy when you are sleep deprived. I have only one recommendation. Your child needs to learn to comfort herself. I read a wonderful book before my children were even born which I recommend to every expecting Mom. You can use it with your toddler then with your newborn to avoid this whole situation. My three children are all amazing sleepers and I really attribute it to the simple methods I learned and implemented when they were young. Night time is very peaceful in our home!! You can actually start it when they are 6-8 weeks old! Can you believe that?!! I was a skeptic at first but it did work. It is a loving approach but like I said it teaches them to comfort themself. The book is Sleeping Through The Night- How Infants, Toddlers AND Their Parents Can Get a Good Night's Sleep by Jodi A Mindell, Ph.D
Good luck and may you all be sleeping through the night soon!!!

Dena

My son had this same episodes, and it was from gassy pain from pateurized milk, I changed to Soy, the started with seizures, then gave him Raw Organic Milk and he is fine now!!! Love, G.. :0)
P.S. And lower the gluten, to see if it changes!!!

I have 2.5 year old daughter who still wakes up in the middle of the night whining and crying as if she was a newborn baby. I figured out that if she doesn't take a good nap during the day, it's harder for her to go to sleep because she gets frustrated because she's sooo tired. She wakes up in the middle of the night because she wants comfort. It's hard on me but, but I just try to zone out the crying and rub her back till she goes back to sleep. The days she takes good naps during the day, she sleeps better and doesn't wake up as much.

you might want to explore the possibility that her diet could be
contributing to the problem.
When my daughter was that age, I had to fine-tune her diet so she would sleep more soundly...I also made sure she could not hear the Television because some of the adult programming I watched in the evenings and she heard while in bed, caused her to feel anxiety...Hope this helps...