3 Year Old with Night Terrors - Baltimore,MD

Hi T.,
I have a daughter who had night terrors at that age. They started at 18 mos. and she is now 7. She still has them occasionally but at age 3 they were much more frequent. I'm not sure if your daughter is having chronic night terrors or just a few bad nights. Here's what I learned about night terrors:

I couldn't wake her up, nor are you supposed to. I would take her downstairs away from earshot of our baby and just hold her until the crying stopped. She made very strange crys and had some jerky motions. It can be very scary since they are acting like aliens! Eventually she'd calm down and be calm enough to go back to sleep but it took up to 30-45 min. sometimes. I just got to the point where I wouldn't let it bother me and told myself "this will stop soon." She never remembered the incidents in the morning and it didn't seem to affect her. I was always tired the next morning of course.

I did search the internet for solutions when they were happening often. One theory which I tried is waking them up around 4 hours after they've been asleep. This did work for awhile but she went back to them again. She has now pretty much outgrown them but now sleepwalks occasionally which I believe is related.

One other note: We now find her sleepwalking coincides with her having to use the bathroom. Ask you daughter or help her sit on the potty if she wakes up crying. It could be that the urge to go wakes her up but not all the way. Good luck!

Dear T.,
I am a grandmothjer of a 17 month old that has night terrors. I found out that if he gets a good nap during the day (at least 1 1/2 hours) and doesn't get overly tired in the evening to the point where he is crying to go to sleep he sleeps much better at night.
Hope this helps.
L. P.

My daughter once went through a period of night terrors when she was older than yours, but I thought I'd share in case there's some sort of connection. Mine was a good reader by the age of 6 or 7 and her brother had given her a Nancy Drew mystery book. The physician queried me a lot when we went to him (after exploring school situation to see if anything was going on there), and led us to believe that the book might be causing the terrors. I stopped allowing her to read the book, to test out the theory, and it totally stopped. She would never remember the night terrors. She would wake up crying hysterically, and then run around like a chicken with it's head cut off and start acting like she was going to get sick to her stomach. I'd try to get her in the bathroom which she would resist, and it would take a good half hour to calm her down, put her back to bed, etc. When I would ask her about it the next day she would tell me that I must have been having the terrors! Anyway, this is a long lead-in to ask if there's something in the environment - tv, video, movie, book, which may be exciting or stimulating to your child but may be disturbing her enough to bring these on at night.

Hi T.,
I have a son (5yo in Mar) who around 3 yo also had night terrors. They differ greatly from nightmares in that (and I know this because I talked to his dev. ped. about it) they can not wake up or 'come out of it' and do not recall the incident the next day. My guy usually had them last about 15 min, we even tried taking him outside in cold night air to wake him out of it--it didn't wake him, & there was no change in his behavior. Then, when they were over, he fell fast asleep, no worries, as if it never occurred. Freaked me and my husband out though-scary! They passed--just a phase. The dev.ped. said my son didn't even know it occurred, and that the best we could do is observe, making sure he didn't hurt himself in thrashing or kicking, but not to even soothe/hold him because he's technically unaware. Then, when it is over, he can just already be in bed and fall right to sleep. If it is night terrors-she'll probably grow out of them, my fingers are crossed for you. Nightmares are very different than the terrors.

T. I feel for you and your family as my husband and I have gone through a similar situation with my now 7 year old son who started having nightmares 3 years ago after moving to a new home and having a new baby brother.

Not sure how spiritual you guys are but we are. We have spent plenty of nights running into his room and rescuing him (if you will). My husband would get in bed with him and pray until he fell back to sleep. A friend spoke with us about toys and how they carry spirits. This conversation was very neutral not realizing it was a God sent answer to our sons nightmares. We went through all the toys in the toy box under his bed and threw out the toys that were told to us that may be the main cause to his nightmare. For example, Pokemon, Power Rangers, etc... After disposing of toys we saw a significant change in his behavior. Maybe you can research spirits, being as though people carry "bad" spirits and if our children are spending time around such people you best believe that the spirits that they deal with will taunt our children, especially as they sleep.

Check out www.spiritlessons.com/Mary_K_Baxter_A_Divine_Revelation_o...
This site talks about spirits...

I hope this helps.
-Renee

T.,
I can totaly understand where you are coming from. My son who is now 5 used to suffer from night terrors. They are extremly distrubing to a concerned parent. The best thing that you can do is hold and comfort your little one during the terror until she has calmed down. Also, since you have the babies, reassure that Mommy and Daddy love her just as much as the babies and that she will always be your baby too. She will grow out of it..it just takes some time. Make sure that you have a good support network. Night terrors can be hard on parent.

A little about me:
I am happily married for 8 years with 3 wonderful children.

Hi T. - I'm a mom of 4, and sorry to say we've been through this with two already, both at the age of 3. We have a very regular bedtime routine and mine, like yours, just started out of nowhere. My guys' terrors seemed to run in patterns - a couple nights on, a couple nights off. I never could pinpoint why it would happen one day and not the next. They would typically wake up about the same time each night with the terrors. What worked for us was, we would wake them about an hour or 45 minutes before they would typically wake. Just a quick - how about going to the potty or, just wanted to kiss you once more, wake - they would always fall right back asleep. This seems to "fix" the broken dream/sleep sequence and they wouldn't wake again the rest of the night. The good news is, that they typically just grow out of it after a couple months. I also found that if I didn't touch the kids or try to console them, the terrors actually passed much quicker. I always was compelled to stand and watch though - to make sure he didn't hurt himself - but they don't remember a thing the next day. Ah, the joys of childhood. Good luck!

Hey T.,

I too had the same problem with my son. He would wake up screaming in the middle of the night and it would take my husband and I almost 45 minutes to wake him up. I have to say I noticed whatever he saw or experienced during the day, he would dream about it at night. Even somthing as simple as the zoo. Somehow he still woke up in the middle of the night crying. But he is 5 now and the nightmares have stopped. A couple of things did help too- prayer, reasuring him that he will have a good night of sleep and his pre k teacher taught him a song that starts out as "God is stronger than....." and he would fill in the blank.

The nightmares have stopped but he still sometimes come in our room in the middle of the night and fall alseep. Just hang in their and your 3 year old should grow out of it.

Hi, T.. It's my experience that when one of my girls routines
were disrupted or they were overly tired this happened more. For now, try to make sure she stays on a schedule & gets enough sleep. Take comfort in the fact that she will grow out of it. My daughters are almost four now, and we haven't had a night terror in over 2 months! I hope it's the same for you!

Keep symphonic music playing lightly his or her room. I am a Christian so I keep contemporary Christian music playing at a low volume (just enough to hear). this still is a practice and my girls are now 14 and 15 and I don't remember them having nightmares more than 2 time each in their lives (that i am aware of).

Instead of holding them and puting them back to sleep if they are in a bed yet lie next to them with a body shaping pillow against them that way when they are in a comfortable sleep you can slip away----if you're not in a comfortable sleep yourself---

The rest is time and letting age work it out. the most important thing is they have to learn that their bed is their bed and you come to them and provide safety, because i firmly believe it won't do you and your husband any good to have a bed full of babies because that is the place you and he have left to be with each other and bond as parents as well as friends again and as they grow older the kids will see that and repect it.

When I was a little girl I would call out to my parents and KNEW they would com, but I don't recall ever feeling a panic to run to them ---- I hope it helps and I hope it makes sense.

I have an infant and a 2 1/2 year old....so I understand sleep deprivation. I feel for you!

I had night terrors as a child. I remember waking up confused and scared from dreams that had me terrified -- though I don't recall the dreams themselves or anything. I was born 2 1/2 months premature. My parents tell me I would scream about my heels hurting in my sleep, so they thought I was dreaming about the way the doctors pricked my heels to make me scream/breathe as a newborn. My parents took me to several doctors who all told them just to comfort me and make sure I wasn't hurting myself in my sleep. If it a true night terror you are having dreams during the "wrong" sleep state which makes it even harder to distinguish that it is a dream.
So, I don't have any helpful advice for getting sleep -- but I did grow out of them. Maybe long term that can be comforting...? I wish you the best!

Hi T.,

I have never experienced something like that before and I can imagine that it's a pretty scarey experience for all of you. The only thing I can do is share our routine before bed:

We have actually begun to turn off the tv in the evening. It's amazing, they don't even miss it. I would do that an hour before bedtime (if you don't already that is). Read some books, play a low-grade game, things like that. Then we typically pray our thanks for everything we did and were able to have that day and pray for sweet dreams. I pray for God to be with my children in their dreams. It comforts me. I don't know your religion and how religious you are, but that's our routine.

The TV is a big distraction for our family and turning it off has brought us closer together and made us do things together that we would not normally have done with that stupid thing on.

Like I said, I have never experienced what you have, but I truly hope that you find a solution soon!!

K. C