Are Nightmares in Toddler Years Possible?

Both my daughter and my niece had what the doctor called "night terrors." They had them off and on from 15 months to 3 years old. I would just lay next to her toddler bed and rub her back until she seemed to get over it. As they both got older, they would thrash around and be completely unconsolable. It is a terrible sight. Just dont freak out and apply a firm rhythmic motion to her back. Worked for us. I wish you both well!!!

Hi, you are definately not alone. My daughter is 2 1/2 and she does this at least once a month. Sometimes she screams so loudly that she wakes herself up. I have walked in there and she has been standing up in her bed screaming "What is that!" over and over. It is very scary because you don't know if she is still asleep or if she is really scared of something. I have a very active child and i think this is just part of her busy mind never stopping. I just go in there and kind of put my hand on her and whisper "It's OK." I never pick her up because i'm afraid i will wake her, but usually if i go in there completely calm and just touch her she's fine.

My son had night terrors too. They are much worse on you than the child as they usually have no memory of them. I am assuming there is no medication involved (something started recently) if so that may be the culprit. However, with my son we made his bedtime earlier and followed a pretty rigid bedtime routine and as long as he was well rested they stopped. If he was overtired for any reason, long day, missed a nap, stayed up late, etc., thats when they would reappear.

This sounds to me more like "night terrors" which my daughter experienced as a toddler. Night terrors are not nightmares...the child is sound asleep even if their eyes are open. Trying to awaken them only makes them more upset. They usually have no memory of the incident the next day (even though the parents are well aware of it!). Night terrors are related to sleep talking and sleep walking (which my daughter now does as an older child)...they are called parasomnias I believe and there is not really anything that you can do for them. The only thing our pediatrician recommended was checking on her and making sure that she was secure in her bed or crib so that she could not hurt herself on anything in her room. You might research night terrors on the internet for more information.

L.,
They are called night terrors and my son had them as well from the time he was a toddler until he was about 7 years old.It's scary to see your child have them and not know what to do(I was a single mom at the time also). I found the best thing to do was to just rub his back and talk calm and soothing to him because,like you said picking them up or trying to wake them up makes it worse. They do out grow it though by the time they are 7 or 8 (often times even sooner).Good luck! I hope this helps.
W.

i know if they're not waking up, that's night terrors, not nightmares. another difference between night terrors and nightmares is, in night terrors, the child will not remember any of it the next morning, since it happens in a deeper part of sleep than nightmares. there is a lot of info about it on the internet, i would look it up. as far as i have read it's pretty common, and it doesn't mean they have been traumatized in any way, it just happens in some children. it sounds terrifying, so i'm so sorry you have to deal with that. it's the worst, seeing your child upset like that and not being able to help.

My daughter just went through this with her 20 month old son.
We think he was afraid of the dark (?) she turned his room light on very dim with a dimmer, a nite light would work and the crying ended, it is worth a try.

hello, my 2 year old has been doing almost the very same thing and i thought what nightmares at 2? is that possible? well everynite for the past month i have done different things just before bed and what seems to be working with her is she gets a warm bath i play with her while she takes her bath then when its time to go to sleep i read her her favorite story book, it has lots of colors, bunnies, rainbows and such. it seems to be working latley. i hope this helps.

A. W.

I am the mother of 3 children aging from 2-13yrs. My 2 yr old has had these same type of crying out. I did a little investigation on what was going on with him during the day while I was working, come to find out another child at his day care was really giving him a rough time, hitting him, pushing him etc. The daycare never told me about the incidences. Once I took matters in my own hands, I have seen a more happier child sleeping. Maybe you should do the same?
Good luck, and best wishes. J.

Lori

I sympathize, I have a 25 month old who went through exactly the same thing as you describe. She has grown out of it (so there is some H.), but that doesn't make things easier right now for you while you are waiting for that (hopefully) to happen.

I, too, thought it could be nightmares. Maybe caused by the developmental stage she was in - working out internal conflicts from daycare or something like that. There was nothing I could do to ease her crying, either, and she was asleep and I could not wake her to stop her from crying (when I tried she would start thrashing and protesting more loudly). I even heard he cry out a few times "No! That's MINE!" As if she was dreaming about some argument over a toy. I noticed this started happening at the stage in her life where she became very posessive over toys and was not feeling ready to share them with other children.
Shortly after this, she entered a stage where she became more willing to share her toys with other children and the nightmares stopped. So look at it that way- she may be just dreaming about something that is posing her a problem right now because she is not ready developmentally to deal with it. I know it is traumatic - you want the crying to stop and would love nothing more than to be able to ease her stress, but if she is asleep, then she probably doesn't know she is doing it.
There is something else that I thought might cause it. It sounds silly but I thought she might be getting calf cramps (growing pains) which I concluded could be a possibility due to the fact that she seemed either really scared or in pain. I started giving her apple-banana juice (potassium in bananas would help the muscle cramps) and that seemed to help too.

So good luck, and I am sure she will grow out of it.

H.

Hi L.-
I have no idea, but my 1 yo does the same thing on occasion. It's really unnerving too, because like you said, they are completely asleep but crying inconsolably until we're finally able to wake him up. I'm assuming it's nightmares, maybe like somebody taking his bottle from him or something ;), I have no idea. I asked his doctor about it and he kind of blew me off, so I'm assuming it's not a huge deal. Let me know if you find something out! Good luck!

M.

My daughter also experienced nightmares. After doing some research, I found that rather than trying to pick her up or wake her to console, I lightly patted her back and simply stated, "Mommy is here...Mommy is here, you don't have to be scared." Sometimes she'd fall back to sleep peacefully, and other times she'd fully wake up and want to be held. Below is some additional information I pulled from Baby Center for you. Good luck!

Expert Answers
Deborah Lin-Dyken, pediatric sleep disorders expert
It's very common for even the best of sleepers to suddenly start having sleep problems, whether that means having a hard time falling asleep at bedtime or abruptly waking up during the night. Your toddler may be having night terrors, which are similar to sleepwalking but are more dramatic. Night terrors are often related to being sleep-deprived.

When your child "wakes up" with a night terror, go in and check on him but don't speak to him or try to soothe him. Your child will resist being comforted and will appear confused and disoriented. Trying to soothe your child will only extend and intensify the sleep terror — even saying his name can make him more upset. Likewise, don't try to vigorously awaken him. He may think you are attacking him. Instead, just let the night terror run its course, and stand nearby to make sure your toddler doesn't hurt himself.

Your little one may also be having bad dreams. Your child's imagination is developing, and that can't help but carry over into his sleeping world. When he wakes up after a nightmare, go in and reassure him. A few moments spent soothing him should do the trick. Stay with him until he falls back to sleep if he asks you to. Don't worry if he doesn't want to talk about the dream. Sometimes nightmares aren't about anything definitive, just a scary feeling.

Other common causes of night-waking in previously good sleepers include illness, separation anxiety or a looming developmental leap. In those cases, there are a couple of things to try, aside from treating the fever or throat or ear pain that's making a sick toddler uncomfortable. First, make sure that your child is getting enough sleep in general. It may seem counterintuitive, but the less sleep your child gets, the more likely he is to have trouble settling down at bedtime and staying asleep through the night. So be consistent about putting him to bed for naps during the day and getting him to bed at a reasonable time in the evening.

When your toddler wakes up during the night, be soothing and calming, but boring. Let him know that everything is okay, but that it's time to sleep. Keep the conversation to a minimum and the lights dim. It may take a few nights or even a few weeks to get back on track, but the closer you stick to his regular sleep routine, the sooner the problem will be resolved.

Expert Answers
Deborah Lin-Dyken, pediatric sleep disorders expert
It's very common for even the best of sleepers to suddenly start having sleep problems, whether that means having a hard time falling asleep at bedtime or abruptly waking up during the night. Your toddler may be having night terrors, which are similar to sleepwalking but are more dramatic. Night terrors are often related to being sleep-deprived.

When your child "wakes up" with a night terror, go in and check on him but don't speak to him or try to soothe him. Your child will resist being comforted and will appear confused and disoriented. Trying to soothe your child will only extend and intensify the sleep terror — even saying his name can make him more upset. Likewise, don't try to vigorously awaken him. He may think you are attacking him. Instead, just let the night terror run its course, and stand nearby to make sure your toddler doesn't hurt himself.

Your little one may also be having bad dreams. Your child's imagination is developing, and that can't help but carry over into his sleeping world. When he wakes up after a nightmare, go in and reassure him. A few moments spent soothing him should do the trick. Stay with him until he falls back to sleep if he asks you to. Don't worry if he doesn't want to talk about the dream. Sometimes nightmares aren't about anything definitive, just a scary feeling.

Other common causes of night-waking in previously good sleepers include illness, separation anxiety or a looming developmental leap. In those cases, there are a couple of things to try, aside from treating the fever or throat or ear pain that's making a sick toddler uncomfortable. First, make sure that your child is getting enough sleep in general. It may seem counterintuitive, but the less sleep your child gets, the more likely he is to have trouble settling down at bedtime and staying asleep through the night. So be consistent about putting him to bed for naps during the day and getting him to bed at a reasonable time in the evening.

When your toddler wakes up during the night, be soothing and calming, but boring. Let him know that everything is okay, but that it's time to sleep. Keep the conversation to a minimum and the lights dim. It may take a few nights or even a few weeks to get back on track, but the closer you stick to his regular sleep routine, the sooner the problem will be resolved.

These episodes sound like Night Terrors which both my girls, age 7 and 20 months have experienced. My 7 year old has since out grown them. It is best that when your child has one of these episodes that you don't wake her or it gets worse. I have found that the best thing to do is rub her back and softly whisper "it's ok, Mommy's here", or "shhhh" and they seem to disapate on thier own. The best thing to do is not to wake her and to keep her from hurting herself (likeyou would if someone would sleep walk)and they will go away just like a nightmare.

Is it possible that she is cutting teeth. You are describing the kind of thing we experience with our 17 month old son when he is cutting teeth or in some other kind of discomfort, but usually cutting teeth.

This definitely sounds like night terrors. My son had them too. Just like the previous post said, they are completely normal and you should NOT try to wake her. Our pediatrician explained that it is actually dangerous to wake the child during one. I know how stressful and upsetting it is to watch them go thru it. Just stay in the room to make sure your daughter is safe until it passes. You can rub her back lightly, but don't try to hold her or wake her. She will outgrow this. Good luck!

My son did this as well. He would wake up screaming like he hurt himself or like he was terrified. The lady that babysits him (she has 5 kids of her own) said it could be night-terrors. I'm not sure how they are different than a nightmare. He hasn't done it in a while, but if it keeps happening with your daughter you might ask her doctor or use trusty ol' Google to see what it has to say. I don't know if that was much help. Good luck.

I have had this happen with my 20-month-old daughter. It happened a couple of months ago and hasn't really happened much since. My husband and I couldn't figure it out either. When we asked our doctor about it, he checked her ears and she ended up having a horrible ear infection. But, usually they grab at their ears when that happens and she never did that. We had thought it had some relation to nightmares too though. I still wonder why that happened. Let me know what you find out! Good luck!

Our boys had these and it is terrifying. They are called night terrors as stated by the other moms. They affect 2-4 percent of children (more commonly boys) during the toddler years and sometimes beyond. According to the Complete Book of Baby and Child Care, Paul C. Reisser, MD, it is a disordered arousal from deep (non-REM) sleep. You are not supposed to wake them up, but sit and quietly reassure them. Nightmares on the other hand, occur during REM sleep late in the night or early in the morning. Usually a child who cries out after a nightmare will be wide awake, aware, and responsive to your presence.

Dear L.,
My heart goes out to you! My firstborn son went through that and only taking him into the bathroom and wiping down his face and torso partly with a very wet warm washcloth while singing (Jesus loves you, You're ok - (made up ones), or little tunes to scriptures) greatly helped wake him enough to recieve our love and then go back to sleep in peace.
shalom and joy,
D.

They say "night terrors" begin around 18 months. My daughter started up right at 18 months and still does it. The other night we were sleeping in the same room at my MIL's and she let out a huge cry and said "Mama", so I got up to check on her and she was SOUND asleep. They say when they're having these episodes DO NOT try and wake them up or anything like that no matter how much you want to. Go in and make sure they're safe and just let them have their moment and they should fall right back asleep. I'm not sure what causes them though. We have been very careful about what we watch now thinking that could play a part but I'm just not sure. Don't worry though. This is COMPLETELY normal. They will eventually outgrow it.

They are night terrors. All of my children had them. The doctor explained that they occur if your child is stressed about something or if it is a child with a vivid imagination. My oldest was a high stressed child(my daughter) and my son would only have them when his dad deployed. I discovered I could just rub their back and sing or hum and it would help.

Good luck,
D.

L.,

You may want to Google night terrors. I haven't had personal experience with it, but did catch a piece about it on tv. They are different from nightmares because trying to console them can make it worse at the time, which sounds like what you are running into. Hope that helps!

~ Jen

She may have what is termed "night terrors" you might try to do some searching on web md or other medical oriented sites. If it seems to be disrupting her sleep cycle leaving her tired during the day you may need to see a physician. The other thought I have is that she may be overly tired? Does she go to bed at a reasonable time? Sorry, not trying to pass any judgements but I see to many other parents that keep their kids out and running until the late hours of the night.....

Good Luck!

Yes. Even very young children can have what you are describing, typically called "night terrors" They can begin as early as children are able to have separation anxiety ( around 9-10 months). Once children are verbal, if you wake them they often cannot tell you, or recall, what caused the "night terror" and there have been no studies to show any long term or harmful effects to the child--just the panicked parents who are startled awake at 3am!!! Typically thought to be part of the child's process of integrating everything they have experienced during the day. Hope that helps...

When my kids started having night terrors, I found out that they were over-tired. Simply putting them to bed earlier caused them to go away. It sounded odd to me but really made a difference. When my son was 2 1/2 he needed to go to bed by 7pm in order to avoid waking during the night and he would sleep straight through until 8am.

My son had night terrors which are different from nightmares. My doctor suggested that I talk gently to him like "Max it's ok, Mommy's here..." but to not pick him up or touch him, like you would with a nightmare. He said that me picking up my son when he was having a night terror would be like dreaming of the boogy man chasing you and then being picked up by the boogy man. My understanding is that it is quite normal in this age children. Night terrors are in the REM sleep at that time and won't even remember any of it in the morning. Nightmares are at the end of the sleep cycle before you wake up in the morning or at the peak of the sleep cycle, so you often remember them and are more aware during them.
don't worry about it and I would suggest to not talk about it when she wakes up, but talk to her from a distance and she'll probably calm down or go back to sound sleeping on her own.
good luck
K.

read up on night terrors. It is important to find out if this is the cause and how to deal withit.
Good Luck

I was alking with a friend with an 18 month old who was doing the same thing. I believe they're called "Night Terrors" at that age.
I don't know if you believe in God, but my friend now prays over her son every night, and it hasn't happened since.

Nightmares are not only possible, they're normal. Your child is experiencing the things she is becoming aware of in her day. Some experts say not to wake a child during this because it's a way of facing her fears and conquering them. I know how difficult it can be to hear your child screaming and not be able to console her. But I promise she will grow out of it.

Good luck to you.

When my daughter was about that same age she began waking up in the night crying saying she was scared. It passed after a few days and she got better, I just comforted her. She does still have some bad dreams and some how is afraid of the dark and monsters ( i don't know how she even knows what a monster is). I always turn on the lights and talk to her about it and show her there are no monsters. I think that even the most simple things on tv or the computer can take off children's imaginations. Hope things get better!

L.,
I am also the Mother of a toddler, and my daughter does do the terrified scream from time to time. I have really looked at everything in her life and find nothing that I would think could induce a nightmare, but that is coming from an adult perspective. Who knows what is scary to a baby? If I were you I would examine any care takers (even family) with a critical eye and make sure she is not exposed to anything that could fester in her tiny head and come out as scary in her dreams.

J.

i've had the same thing happen with both my boys, right about the same age. now they are 3 and 23mos. i've heard them called "night terrors" and read that they most often occur within the first few hours after going to sleep. but my boys sometimes woke up at 3 or 4 in the morning.

i haven't heard anything specific about whether these can be influenced by environment, but have noticed that in my younger son, his incidents increased in frequency after we let him watch monsters, inc. several times. from my perspective its a fun movie with cute characters, but my husband noticed that during some scenes he had a frightened look on his face. since then we've been more careful about only letting him watch videos without a serious climax/finale. things like thomas the tank engine, veggietales, bob the builder. because even G-rated full length movies seem to be too intense for the little ones.

but, be encouraged, if that is in fact what she's dealing with, then they grow out of it- its been quite some time since my older son last woke up in the night crying like you described.

My son is 2 1/2 and I'm sure that he has occasional bad dreams, although of course I'd like to think they're not TOO terribly bad! He wimpers and twitches, like you explained. A few times, he mentioned things when he woke up. Once he jumped up and ran to "see if our hallway was broken...!" Who knows what that was about, but it did upset him. Also, my dad fell and had stitches in his head over a year ago. Carson, my son, thought the stitches looked like a "mean spider that hurt Papa." A couple of times he woke up from a bad dream talking about the mean spider. I would think at his age the dreams would be limited to memory more than imagination, so I try not to let him see anything that could be interpreted as scary, especially right before bed!

Hi L.!

What she is experiencing is "Night Terrors." My daughter started having these at about age two. She would start screaming and when I went to check on her, she would look wide awake. Her eyes would be open and she would hit and kick me (very out of her character). I spent many night crying worrying about her. She never remembered the dream in the AM. She is now 7 and she seldom has these night terrors. I was told that they will outgrow them. If she is like my daughter, she probable has a very vivid imagination. There is nothing you can do, but be patient. She will outgrow this.