2Nd Baby Jitters

3 year olds usually adapt really well to a baby in the house. They love to be helpers! My three year old loves to sit and show the baby all of his toys.

My 5 year old is having a harder time adjusting, but she's just difficult.

Also, feeling anxious at this stage in the pregnancy is normal. It will help you get ready for baby.

I don't have any specific suggestions, but I do want to encourage you that you WILL figure it out. Seems overwhelming now because you're not in it yet. Once the baby's born and you're in the thick of it, you'll find the groove that works for you, your daughter and the new baby. Consider that even if you end up scrapping some of the formal activities for your daughter, it will probably be traded for time at home with her new brother. Not a bad thing...
God bless and enjoy!

Jane made some good points. You don't yet know what sort of post-partum recovery you will have. Only time will tell.
While I never really worried about my 2nd taking time away from my older one, I did worry if I would be able to manage daily life with two. It's a big change. My son turned 3 less than 3 weeks after my daughter was born. They are VERY close. And really, pretty much always have been since she was born. They are 11 and 14 now...and when daughter is away for some reason (sleep overs, visit with relatives out of town, etc)... my son misses her. Really.. he used to almost seem lost with her gone. She, on the other hand... relishes being the "only" child at home when he is gone off somewhere like that. It's an interesting dynamic.

The thing is, that as a mom, you will adapt. You just will. And your daughter will, too. And she is growing. Yes, it is only 3 months away... but that is 3 more months of maturity and growth/development that she will have gone through as well. It makes a difference. I was scared to death of how I could possibly get the grocery shopping done once I had a baby to contend with along with my 2 year old. But guess what? He wasn't two... by the time I was truly on my own again (the daily visits from people wanting to meet the baby), he had turned 3! And those few months matter.

At one point, very early on (like in the first month), I remember clearly, him coming to me wanting me to come to his room and do something. I was sitting on the sofa nursing. And he understood that, but wasn't happy that he had to wait. I had a little chat with him (yes, at 3 years old), and explained that his ENTIRE LIFE (all three years, lol, but all he had ever known) he had mine and Daddy's attention by himself. That he never had to share our time with anyone else. But, that his little sister, would never have that time with us by herself. Her entire life (from birth on) she had a brother. And it was great for her to have a brother. But that meant she would never have something that he had been able to have. She would ONLY know sharing time with us.
Of course I also reminded him that we loved him, AND we loved her. And how we were all family, and families want to help each other and take care of each other, because being a family is a special thing.
I don't know how much he grasped. But, I never heard anything else from him (to this day) about his sister taking anything away from him, or any sort of jealous behavior or attitude from him. It was like a light flipped on. He was very helpful with her. And I showed him how to play with her and how he could do things that made her happy, and he loved it! They really bonded.

And you know... when that happens... then you don't have to worry about dividing time. Doing things with them together is just as special. Watching THEM bond and spend time together has made my heart just melt and almost bring me to tears many many times. I'm totally in the periphery... they have this relationship that doesn't include me. And it's beautiful.

Don't focus on what you feel like you are taking away from your daughter. Focus on what you are giving her! Another person to love and to love her! Another bond, in this crazy world.

And for the logistics... you will figure it out. We moms always find a way to make things work---even if that means we have to change our plans or expectations a little. No big deal. Just be careful that if you do have to alter your plans for the summer, that you don't speak negatively about it to your daughter-- particularly in the fashion of saying "because of the baby".

Good luck.
And Congrats!

Normal. I resented my unborn child imagining it taking away time from my first born. And she did, but there was something in there i forgot to factor in and thats the sibling bond that developed between the two of them. Yes our family dynamic changed, but it was for the better.
As for activities, your fear is valid. The logistics of that may or may not work out. For me they would not have because I had such a hard time with feeding and I had to pump 8x a day to get the BF thing working. Not to mention recovering from a C-section and finding we had some medical problems with baby that landed us in the hospital for 5 days and nights. But other moms breeze through these issues and are out and about with baby in no time.

I don't really have any words of wisdom, but just wanted to share that I was in your exact situation! I had my 2nd when my 1st had just turned 2, and I was sooooo worried about the same things you are. And yes, it WAS hard in the beginning. I went to bed many nights thinking that I would just have to do better the next day. When you have days like that (where you don't think you did everything right) try to go easy on yourself. The hard days will pass quickly. Also, I wouldn't have admitted this at the time, but when my second was born I didn't really even like her all that much, until she was about 6 months old! GASP!! I know. But seriously, she was taking me away from the adorable and fun first born!! Don't feel bad if you have these feelings (I felt terribly guilty). Truth be told, nowadays my 2nd tends to be on my "favorite list" more often than my 1st :) Hang in there. It'll all work out.

My son was almost 6 when his sister came. So I felt soooo guilty for bringing her in the home! For 6 years he was my baby! So I had picked out a toy he had been asking for, had it wrapped and sat it on the table in my hospital room, waiting for my boy to come meet his sister. You know what he walked in that room right past that present, so I said Stephen you have a big brother gift! His response "I don't care where's Harlee?" In that moment I knew he was ok. He's her protector. My husband and I pick one weekend a month and take just him out for a special day. Whatever he wants to do, just to remind him that he's still special to us and we love him. Congrats on the baby:)

Well, I'm about to have my second any day now, and my first is 27.5 months. I envision just toting the baby around in a moby wrap and carrying on as usual. But I'm scared now, too. Good luck to both of us! I have three good friends with four kids each, and they make it look easy. I don't know about your area, but our music and art classes are pretty chill about tag along newborns. For swim lessons, you might need to hire help or do them when your husband is available.

You will do just fine. I used a carrier for my second child.... wish I would have seen the cool ways of carrying a baby they have now.

You will still be able to do most of what you have planned... you will just have a little more to take with you. Just do your best to stay calm and not get too stressed.

As for your closeness with your first. My first was about the same age as yours when my second was born. My daughter loved helping with the baby(little momma). My daughter and I have always been really close and having siblings being born for her did not change that.

Well, babies are pretty portable. I'd say just get a good carrier and expect to wear the baby around while you're doing your stuff. By next summer you'll be more used to being a momma of 2 and ready to do more stuff for both of them. You may have to cut back on the things that just the older one does, but that doesn't mean you're not as good of a mom or that your daughter will love you less.

It will all fall into place and you will wonder why you were concerned. There is way more than enough love for everyone. I think everyone has these fears at one point. Hormones make us crazy lol. Sit back, enjoy your daughter and before you know it your little one will be here. Congratulations.

Bless you for being concerned! You must be a good mother. :) I understand that feeling, because I had it myself. But when you see how much you love the baby and how much your three-year old will also love the baby, you will be content. But you need to involve the three-year-old in everything you do - it will be one of your summer adventures! She can hand you diapers and wipes, she can wash the baby's hair for her bath, she can try to make the baby smile, she can play peek-a-boo with her and can "read" books to her. And teach her to tell others not to poke the baby in the eye and to hold her head up. If she is instructing others how to handle the baby, it makes her a part of it. You will do great!