2Nd Grader Sending Love Notes

So maybe I don't see the big deal here. I had a little boyfriend crushes in 1st and 2nd grade- not anything like the more mature type of boyfriend I had in high school or college. My opinion is that it's just innocent stuff- puppy love. I joke with friends' kids about this age all the time about them having a boyfriend and/or girlfriend. They get all bashful and giggle. I also taught elementary school, and it didn't seem all that unusual for little boys or girls to have crushes and send innocent little love notes to each other at this age. My observation was that there wasn't even any physical contact between little boyfriends and (no hand holding, kissing, or hugging).
You can turn off the TV, but boyfriend/girlfriend references are everywhere- Mickey and Minnie Mouse, Donald and Daisy Duck, most of the Disney "princess" movies.

I don't really have any advice to slow down your daughter, but I will tell you how I gauge for my 9 year old daughter what she can watch. I tell her that as a general guide, the age of the main characters is the age the show is appropriate for. Shows with teens as main characters deal with teen issues and are not for her. Songs as well are monitered for teen content. Little girls do not need to be saturated with teen problems this young.

I also use a site called www.commonsensemedia.org You can look up movies, tv, books, games, and music. It gives you a detailed break down of what it contains, and gives an age recommendation. I have NEVER felt like the age recommendation was off. Just for reference, the Zach and Cody show is not recommended for anyone under 8, and Taylor Swift music is not recommended for anyone under 11.

You have to expect children to learn from what they watch and listen to, so expect your daughter to act the way the kids do on the shows she watches.

I made the Disney Channel decision when my formerly sweet and loving daughter started, well before puberty, speaking to me disdainfully as if I were just some "background noise"--just the way the adults are typically treated on those shows.

I made sure her time was spent more involved with me, other kids, outdoor activities, and even tv watching was something we both enjoyed--like Food Network...we are BOTH addicted to that!

Ah. I think it's cute. I had a boyfriend at that age and it was totally innocent. We rode bikes together and "carved" our names (in crayon) on a tree in my yard. Lol.
I agree with all those dumb shows being turned off (especially iCarly!), but I think the more attention that you give to this, the more she'll wonder why it's such a big deal when it's really not.

I totally agree with turning off the Disney channel and any other shows that models behavior appropriate for 12 year olds. I found the same problem with my youngest son. Way into girls at an early age and same as yours...writing them notes. I think that he thought that is what you are 'supposed' to do. I would esp turn the shows off for girls..not only do you have influential behavior but the issues of dress and body image as well.

Holy Cow! I feel ya....I found a little love note in my 2nd grade son's pencil box yesterday...wait....let me check....nope, no Taylor Swift lyrics! And you're not in PA. LOL

Seems like it's "starting" for girls. We're still on Victorious and Big Time Rush.
Thankfully, my son still reviles girls--but he torments them and that's the beginning....

Maybe tell her it's a school rule "no gifts"?

As a (former) teacher I think it's not as big of a deal as it sounds. Yes, maybe song lyrics is a bit much but this is the time when they start to do this stuff. It's all pretty harmless as nothing really comes of it. Even if they're "going out" all it means is they play together at recess, maybe, and sit together at lunch.

Now, as a parent, I do feel you. I think I'd be freaked out a little too, but I think if you just sit down with her and reassure her that her feelings are normal (b/c they totally are) and then discuss that it's okay to like boys and have those feelings, but that's where it ends.

As far as turning off the Disney Channel, well I'm not sure. My kids are still too young to watch that so my opinions certainly may change, but is it going to stop the problem? She will still have the influence of school and her friends and "society", but you are the parent and if you want to turn it off then turn it off. Good luck! I don't look forward to these days! ;)

This is HILARIOUS! I could have written your exact question. We had the same thing going on at our house! We found it to just be a phase and it ended within a month or so... and we also cut out the Disney Channel. I agree, I hate to blame a show but there is a lot of "boyfriend/girlfriend" dynamics that happen on those show and are probably TMI for a 2nd grader. I think the actual crush part is pretty normal and actually very sweet. I sure do remember my 2nd grade crush.....

I agree with the first comment. I don't see the big deal. I think it is normal for kids to get crushes at that age. I remember being so boy crazy in the second grade. I would just not make that big of a deal about it but watch her closely to make sure she is not doing anything inappropriate. I think being involved in what she is doing is probably better than telling her she shouldn't be feeling that way, because obviously she is feeling that way.

We are seeing that at our school. My daughter is also in second grade and in first grade was asked by a boy if she would like to be his girlfriend. Not knowing what she was getting into she said yes. He put his arm around her back and said "Okay, great, come with me we are going to go play over here." She was so upset that she was not allowed to play with her girlie friends. She was sobbing as we crossed the parking lot to our car. The boy is a VERY nice boy. Too nice. I helped my daughter calm down and told her that she was way to young to have a boyfriend. We went straight to her teacher and told her what was going on and she made a general announcement to the class the next day. I don't think it is cute that kids this age have crushes - they don't know what that means and adults make the problem worse by teasing about boyfriend and girlfriends. Way to much pressure on kids. My daughter was much relieved when I told her she was too young to be a girlfriend or to have a boyfriend. We talked about kissing and holding hands and she agreed. She didn't want a boyfriend.

I don't know about Disney channel - my daughter rarely watches it. I hate to blame a t.v. show, but maybe that is it as another girl at school is very much like your daughter and watches Miley and Taylor all the time.

My advice. Give your daughter some boundaries. Tell her what your family values are. The gift giving may or may not step over the lines of what your values are.

I would definitely cut-back on the Disney Channel shows... they are far more mature than people realize. Besides, in second grade she should be doing homework and playing after school! I would suggest watching some of the shows with her if she really loves them and use that time to talk about boyfriends/girlfriends... maturity.... how old she will be when she's allowed to date... respecting herself. You can either turn it off or use it as a springboard for a chat.

As for the boy-crazy love notes... I doubt it's reciprocated and I remember getting "married" on the playground in third grade, along with my other friends.

Decide what's comfortable for you and stick with it. If you don't want her bringing in gifts, then don't let her (you caved, BTW). If you don't want her writing him love letters, then don't let her. If she does it in school and gets caught, punish her.

Truthfully, this isn't a huge deal and kids are maturing much younger. When I worked as an assistant principal, I had to post adults around the tunnel on the playground b/c third graders were throwing "kissing parties" in there. Yikes.

Turn off the Disney channel anyway it is not for kids. Nothing educational about it.
Your daughter may have a crush on that boy but it'll fade. Don't make too much of it. My eldest got close to boys she liked in school. But, she was 14 before she did the boyfriend thing for real.

I can certainly empathize! I have a daughter in kindergarten and she's boy crazy! She likes this particular boy in her class and talks about him all the time. I thought this all started in second grade from what I remember of chasing boys around on the playground myself, but I guess it just depends. Yesterday, she came home with a note from a little boy who sits at her table and the note read "I like (insert my daughter's name)." I was floored! The funny thing is, she doesn't like this particular boy, he really gets on her nerves, lol. ALSO, we don't watch any Disney Channel shows and I'm careful about what she watches. I consult www.commonsensemedia.org for reviews and age ratings for all media (TV, movies, gaming). You might check it out.