2Yr Old Who Won't Sleep Thru the Night Anymore

Updated on October 07, 2008
T.O. asks from Dayton, OR
12 answers

I need to clarify...we talked to my daughter about getting rid of the pacifier for a good month and she was the one who threw it away. I don't want everyone to think I am a mean Mommy who ripped it out of her mouth!! I did buy her something special and gave her things to comfort her :)

I need some suggestions. We took my 2 yr old (in Aug) daughter's pacifier away 2 weeks ago. The first week was a nightmare which I expected, but I feel like we haven't made much progress. She wakes up 3-5 times a night crying/screaming for me and wanting me to give her juice in her water cup I give her each night. I am fine with the cry it out method, just wondering if that is what I need to do with her? I am really torn because I feel like she is old enough to know that I am not there to comfort her, but on the other hand, she is old enough to know how to play the game with me. My other issue is that my 10 month old son sleeps in the room acrossed from her. I think we have been too quick to comfort her in efforts to make sure she doesn't wake him up. Something has got to change here because I am a walking zombie with very little patience right now. Any thoughts/suggestions are welcomed.

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A.S.

answers from Richland on

This might sound crazy, but my boy did that at age 2 also, I took him to the chiropractor. It took 2 visits and he wasn't waking up anymore. I was desperate to get some sleep at that stage since my baby was 6 mo at that age, so waking up for 2 babies was way too much! Hope that helps.

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A.C.

answers from Portland on

I know you have already taken the paci away, and it might be difficult to go back, but I would suggest waiting until the 3rd birthday to take the paci away. My doctor at Kaiser recommends this as well. For a few reasons. They are able to understand and rationalize a little at age 3, they are pretty much done with the teething (which often creates a need for something to suck on),and they can feel like a big girl/boy by giving it up. I did it on my now 4 yr. olds 3rd birthday, and we tied it to a helium balloon, and said our goodbye's, and that new babies at the hospital needed the paci's, and that because she is a big girl, she can give it to them. It worked so well. She asked for it a few times that next week, and then never again after that. Good luck with whatever you decide to do!

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H.S.

answers from Portland on

Being 2 is a stressful time. Just as with nursing older toddlers, going cold turkey just adds more stress. I wouldn't take it away until she is ready or at least try again in a few months. They seem so much older when they are 2 but I think they still have a lot of needs.

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A.M.

answers from Portland on

Hi T.,

Did you replace the binky with anything? Your babe probably needs something else to provide that comforting feeling of safety. If she's not a blankey girl, try going on a quest for a new lovey and make up a story on how it will keep her safe.

My daughter became a blankey girl when she gave up the pacificer.

Good luck!

A.

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T.M.

answers from Seattle on

I have 3 girls (5,3 1) and about 2 yrs ago we lived w/ my brother-in-law for about 6 month--at the time my 3 and 1 yr. old shared a room, so you can imagine the stress of trying to keep the 1 yr. old quiet not only because her sister was right next to her, but because my brother and sister-in-law didn't have kids and all that intails(they were so gracious however.) The point of the story is that I was wrecking myself trying to keep quiet, so I understand your stress with that! I am also going through getting my 1 yr. old to sleep through the night(August as well.)I am breaking her of the habit of getting up during the night because at the ripe age of 1 kids can eat enough to sustain them throughout the night. She would get up around 2am AND 5:45am daily and the day she hit 1 I started the weaning process...THEY GET IN A HABIT OF FEEDING AND MOMS TEND TO FEED THAT HABIT. I started with giving her about 7-8oz of milk for her last feeding, then for the 2am feeding ONLY GAVE HER WATER. I would give her milk for the 545 feeding, but only for a week then that is gone now as well...Medically, the pancreas is what wants the nutrition at night because it gets in the habit of getting that at night, so the kids just cry because their little bodies respond to that...that is why giving them water actual tricks the pancreas into realizing that it is not worth the time of being as active for only water...(please note these terms are what my doctor said to me so that I would understand) Juice is the worst thing to give your kid because of the high volume of sugar and all that entails. Start by only giving her water and notice..the first time she may just drink it, but I guarantee she will eventually push the water away and go to sleep. My 1 yr. old actually pushed her bottle of water away when I tried to put it to her mouth after only 4 days. Yes, you have a 2 yr. old instead of a 1 yr. old, but you must know that you are the adult...you dictate what goes on in your house, especially with your kid. Sleep is SO important for you as a mother, and I know for maybe 3-7 days you will struggle with this, but make sure your husband is on board to be strong when you want to give in and give her juice AND vice verse...when your husband wants his sleep and wants you to give her juice YOU need to be strong. Sorry for babbling, but I have gone through this. Your 10 month old will sleep through the noise and this may make him a heavier sleeper in the end, which is what you want anyway. The pacifier thing...my first child was attached to her "FIDO" more than most and what we did was maker HER throw her pacifier away herself and reminded her that she did it when she wanted it. She will get over it..Good luck!

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J.C.

answers from Anchorage on

I saw some people suggest you give the paci back, are they crazy? If you give it back now she will think it is because she kept crying and keeping you up at night, so the next time you try to take it you will have even worse behavior on your hands. Make sure it is not some other issue (fear of dark), make sure she has something to make her feel safe (blankie or stuffed toy), and then let her cry it out. That is what worked for my son at around 15 months. Kids can not learn to talk properly if they constantly have a paci in their mouth.

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M.C.

answers from Portland on

I'm starting to wean my 19 mo. old from his binky too, and I thought it would pointless/difficult since his 5 mo. old brother still gets one. I started letting him get up in the morning w/ his binky and then putting it out of his sight while he was eating breakfast. I would give it back at naptime, then hide it again until bedtime. Then after about 2 weeks of that routine, I started leaving it in the crib in the morning and I would put it away later, so he was only having it at night. Amazingly he got in the habit quickly, and now just hands me his binky in the morning, and even brings me his brothers without putting it in his mouth and running the other way! I'll let him have his nighttime binky for another couple of months, he's cutting his molars and really chews on it, otherwise he grinds his teeth--which I can't stand. For us doing it gradually worked best, and for his older brother as well. I also agree with the other poster who said babies develop habits, I do whatever possible to comfort mine from their own bed/crib, without getting them up. With the top rail down, I can lean down and snuggle them if they need it, without them thinking crying is a ticket to get out of bed. Good luck!

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K.D.

answers from Seattle on

I totally disagree with taking away the binky cold turkey. She is only two, she's had it her whole life. One day it's gone and she's too young to understand why. I think parents are too worried about the binky thing. I would give it back, sleep is so much more important, and try weaning her from it six months to a year from now using a gradual process and talking about it with her for a couple weeks. There is nothing wrong with a two or three year old with a binky. I lucked out because my daughter is a thumb sucker and has always preferred her thumb to binkys, and she's a blanket girl. But I would never take anything away cold turkey. It's so much better to use a slow process and get rid of it when she is ready. It's not about us, it's about making them feel secure, loved and nurtured at this age. If her little binky does that for her, you should be happy. I do like the one idea about tying it to a balloon when she's ready and can understand the process. I'm sure at that point, she'll feel like a big girl ready to let go and she can be proud of herself instead of like she's lost something you've taken away. Until that point, there is no reason to add the extra stress to your family. Just my opinion! :) Good luck!

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S.H.

answers from Portland on

Hi T.,

I have an almost 3 year old and the binky fairy took my daughter's binkies away at 21/2 (She collected them and put them in a bag on a tree outside), to give them to little babies who need them. In exchange, she got a "big girl new toy" (Barbershop Play Doh Set). You don't mention in your email how the binky was taken away. I think it is VERY important for kids to be a part of that process, so they feel empowered, not like victims. I think it rocks their world to just take away something "cold turkey" that has been such a security to them. If that's how you did it, I would give it back, wait a few months and then make her a part of the process.

Like others have suggested, you might shop together for a special friend to keep her company in her bed/crib. I would also ask her why she is having so much trouble sleeping now and see what she says. Then respond appropriately. Sometimes we assume its one thing (like the binky) when it really is something else that hadn't occurred to us (It could be that she is now cold at night, with the weather change (which was also about 2 weeks ago), but can't verbalize it).

My daughter was always a great sleeper and since she turned two, we have had many more "phases" of sleep issues. Use your instincts...if you feel like she is playing you, than use "tough love" and do not give her the attention she wants (including no sympathy, no talking, etc). If you feel like she is feeling insecure and not wanting you to leave, then look at stuffed friends to comfort, soft music, a nightlight, door left open (gives you leverage to say- if you fuss, then we'll have to close it), etc. Either way, if your child is motivated by charts, she could get stickers for the nights she doesn't call for you. Good Luck!

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G.C.

answers from Corvallis on

I don't know, I won't pretend I remember when I was 2, but I know that even when I was 5 I was definitely scared of the dark. Maybe she needs a nightlight. Small children have extremely vivid imaginations. For example, probably until I was 8-10, I used to think there was probably a robber hiding in the laundry basket in the bathroom! Illogical, but I guess I figured that since I could hide in there, so could someone else. Make sure that she doesn't think there's some monster under the bed or something.... that could be part of it!

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P.S.

answers from Portland on

I had this same problem with both of my kids at this age. I resolved the problem by letting them have a sippy cup of water in bed. It doesn't spill and they can get to it as needed during the night, then they go right back to sleep. I also found that they seemed to be hungrier, so before bed, I would let them have some saltine or wheat crackers and milk. This helped the waking up in the night dramatically. It can be such a long time from dinner to breakfast for a growing baby. Hope that helps.

M.B.

answers from Seattle on

T.,

Be strong! Part of the terrible two stage is pushing limits and buttons. She has had this comfort/plug in her mouth or near her for two years. It's been gone for two weeks. She's probably going through a type of withdrawal. Don't give in, don't give it back. She will eventually get over not having the binky. Maybe give her a blanket or small toy that she can cuddle with? My daughter has what we call her blanket friend. It's pink, fuzzy on top, satiny on bottom, and has the arms and face of a doll.

Can you maybe move your son to a different room while she's having problems? Is he sleeping through her fits?

I want to send you a couple of links from Super Nanny that might help with her sleeping issues, but I have to run right now, I'll do it when I get back.

Hope this helps,
Melissa

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