My 3 1/2 year old son is a very smart little boy. He has been pee toilet trained for months now and is bowel trained in the sense that he uses a pull up to poop and asks for it. We have used the "when the pull ups" are gone you need to start using the big potty for two cycles now and its not working. He refuses to poop on the potty. He is really scared and I do not know how to encourage him to get over the fear? Any advice or things that have worked for others would be appreciated!
Sometimes kids are afraid because they think they are losing part of them when they poop. I just told my daughter that is the food we eat coming out so that we can eat more food. It worked.
My daughter went through EXACTLY the same thing...right down to asking for a pull-up when she needed to poop. It was incredibly frustrating, her being 3 1/2 and peeing in the toilet, but not pooping, but eventually she got over it. I would just not stress about it, and just reassure your little boy that nothing bad will happen when he poops in the toilet, but when he's ready to try it again, Mommy will be right there. It took my daughter till she was a few months past 4 to be completely okay with pooping in the potty. Now, she's 6 1/2 and has no issues with pooping in the toilet and thouroughly wiping herself. I stressed about it, but won't again...she was my first born. If I encounter the same situation with my newborn son, I won't worry about it.
Use a stuffed animal - we used Tommy Turle (we put on boy undies on him. Throughout this process, you use a Tommy voice, so that he is talking to your son. Be deovted for a full day to talk to Tommy to see if he has to go potty. When he does you take him and ask your son to go with you. Say something that will cause him to look in another direction. Slip some raisins in the potty. When he turns around take Tommy off the potty - "Wow" tommy turle pooped. Swing Tommy up in your arms and priase him and show exteme excitement. Look at your son and say isn't that wonderful. Look into tommys eyes and tell him how proud you are of him. In the next 1/2 hour do it again. Show excitement again - swing him, encourage your son to do a silly happy dance with you and be over the top happy. He will start to be pulled into your excitement. After a few more times, tell your son you need him to ask Tommy if he has to go to potty and you use your Tommy-voice to say yes. Tell your son that Tommy needs him to take him to the potty and he can tell tommy how to do it - somehow get the raisins in. When your son takes him off the potty, ask your son if tommy went poopy on the potty - ask your son to give you 10 (hands up) and shout yahoo. Tell your son how amazing and helpful he is to help tommy go potty! You can stretch it out to 1 hr. Tell your son ... a - oh! Hurry son, Tommy needs to go potty, let's run and you take him hurry hurry - SMILE BIG in your son's eyes. Your son WILL EVENTUALLY (sooner than later) start going on - and then you can take Tommy to see your sons poopy. happy day poop! Silly dance time! ........... If this doesn't work, I'll give you the Plan B Reality.
My daughter had the same exact problem. She was trained with peeing for months prior but at 37 months she still was terrified of pooping in the potty.
I was at my end with it, so gave her Pedia-Lax Liquid Glycerin Suppository and sat her on the potty for about 1 hr until it came out. I didn't let her up to play or walk around and these are to work instantly. So I figured it was just a matter of time. It forced her to face her fear. That's all it is, fear of the unknown.
After about an hour of her holding back and fighting it, nature took it's course. She finally put it all together, she understood what it was and how it felt and we haven't looked back since!!!!
It may sound extreme, but we had tried everything and this was the only thing that worked! Literally overnight!
My son did the exact same thing. I read this in a book and it worked for us: I started off telling him that we only poop in the bathroom, so if he's going to poop in his pull up, he can only do it in the bathroom. After he gets that down, the next step (if he'll sit on the potty) is to have him sit on the potty and poop with his pull up on. Then the last step is to cut a hole in his pull up and have him sit on the potty. My son still felt secure having his pull up on, but the poop went into the potty! After a few times of that and seeing the poop in the toilet and that everything was okay, he was able to do it without the pull up. I also took him to the store ahead of time and let him pick out a toy he really wanted, but I didn't buy it. I kept reminding him that when he is able to poop in the toilet, I would buy that toy for him as his reward.
We used a sticker chart when my son was about the same age. He would also ask for a diaper when he needed to poop. The first chart had 12 squares, and then he got a "big" prize (a $20 Thomas train). The second chart had 20 squares on it and he got a smaller prize (a $10 train). He asked for a third one but I conveniently kept "forgetting" to make one.
One of my son's issues with pooping is that it he often waits too long to go so it hurts when he poops and even bleeds frequently from little fissures. Our doctor suggested years ago (my son is now 7) that we give him Miralax to help loosen his stools. If that seems to be a problem with your son, you might talk to your doctor about it.
I had one like that and we used the small potty and called it the poop potty- no pee could go in there- I would put it in front of the TV and tell him when he wanted to poop just sit on the "happy poopie potty"!- We would talk about the big potty was for pee pee and the little one was for poopie- then one day it just finally clicked! Good luck to you!
you might have to set him on the potty and read to him or whatever he needs to relax. just keep saying everybody poops in the potty and reassure him. he will get there!! keep up the good work.
