3-Month-old Night Waking; Exhausted Mommy

I would take him to the doctor. To me it sounds like an ear infection. My daughter did the exact same thing, and finally we took her to the doctor. She had no fever, but an ear infection.

Hang in there. It will get better. I know it's really rough, but this will pass- he'll sleep good, then he'll get a tooth and you'll go through this again.

Try giving him ibuprofen infant drops (he could be teething- my daughter started at 3 months). Call the nurse at the ped's office. Maybe he has an ear infection? They usually have good tips.

You aren't alone. I actually got on antidepressants for awhile when my daughter was that young... I couldn't handle the sleep deprivation well.

Sounds like you need a good break. And daddy needs to give it to you. You need to get him set up and ready. Prepare the whole everything. Put dinner in a crock pot, fix him all the bottles, bathe the kids and tell him you are going to bed and to handle it for one night. And YOU go get your self a nice hot bath and a big fat slepping pill. You cannot go any longer without sleep and it is hard if you dont calm down. When you cry...baby cries....when you are mad baby cries. And guess what when mommy aint happy nobody is happy. Now pull it together and treat yourself. GOOD LUCK!

feed him rice cereal at bed time, if he wakes and crys check diaper & if all is well give him the pacifier, and pat him a bit and see if holding the pacifier there like he was nursing would help, maybe you don't have enough milk & he's hungry so try seeing if thats what's wrong, and also try letting him cry a bit. Doesn't sound like you are getting any sleep not letting him cry, so one night of trying that won't keep you from sleeping . If you are tired and stressed, they can tell it too,& are fussy, so try to take a nap while rocking him in a chair (ha) anything to catch up.But I wonder if the cereal or a bottle would help at night.

My son was the same way. When my son is sick, I would put him in the bath and just wipe him slowly with warm water on a baby washcloth. Then I would dress him in a swaddler (life saver!!!) and put him in his crib. There was a jewel thing that hung on the string of the fan that would "tink" out a rythem. That would put him to sleep. Do you believe in the the cry it out method? I wouldn't try it when he is sick but this is the only thing that got my sanity and marriage back to where it should be. Also, another thing that works for my son is to put him on my chest, cover half of his face with a blanket (to cut out distractions/light), turn on the tv and sit in a rocking chair (we used a recliner). After 15 minutes of hearing my heart beat he would be asleep. I find this works even now because the tv helps me keep my mind off of how long it is taking to put him to sleep and keeps my nerves in check. If I dosed off so be it. Hope this helps and you get some sleep. A cool mist humidifier seems to help my son as well.

3 months old seems like when they go through a growth spurt. I suggest making sure he's getting enough to eat before bed, and doing what is necessary to sleep. My oldest slept in her swing a few times b/c she liked the motion and slept well in it. I put it in my room so I could listen for her easily. I'd also work on making sure he's sleeping good during the day and not just overly tired at night. Also, does he still have a cold? Maybe he's getting stuffy when you lay him down. You can try letting him sleep in his infant seat and put the infant seat in his bed so that he's propped up or put a rolled towel under the mattress to prop him up in the crib so he's more at an angle instead of flat on his back. Good luck, it's just a season! Things will get better, so try to stick it out. Your older kids seem like they should be old enough for you to say "I'm going to take a nap, please stay in here and watch a movie" and you either nap on the couch or in your room with them close if you need extra sleep.

Your baby is sick - take him to the doctor!!!!

TALK TO YOUR DOCTOR about an over-the-counter medicine called RESCON-DM. You don't need a Rx to get it, but it is behind the pharmacy counter. It is more expensive than brand name medicines, but you give less of it to the kids. We've used it on both of ours and they're fine. It takes very little to dry them out so they can sleep. As you know you are on the verge of teething and that is likely waking him up. Try Tylenol.

Bring in a (good)friend who can sleep on your couch one or two nights a week. That way you can sleep through one of the night wakings and have more patience with your girls. We are the only society in THE WORLD that makes mother's feel like they are supposed to do this whole Mom thing alone. Don't be silly - ask your friends to help you. For your wellbeing and the self-esteem of your girls.

Email back if you want to find out if we're close. I've got a first grader and then one that will still be home with me - maybe we could have a play date.

Suzi

Do you have a friend or family member nearby that can take the kids for a while so you can sleep uninterrupted?

That was my big thing with my first born, no sleep. It also sounds like he is just wanting to be near you and you may have started something by bringing him into your bed to nurse. Trust me, I would do anything and everything to get some sleep and did just that as well, but put an end to it when he was CONSTANTLY wanting to be in MY bed.

I turned on soft music (and still do with my kids, ages 5 and 8) as well as run a fan. We use night-lights as well. I also tried to calm them in their rooms by rocking or just patting their back while they were in the crib. It was hard at first as they would cry and scream, reaching for me to pick them up but I would just pat them and "shh-shh" or hum a song. I never did turn on a light either.

It will get better. Wee ones are just pitiful when they are sick and mommy is the only cure.

Hang in there and get some help from a friend or family to get your sleep.

J. S.

Well, first of all - **hugs!!**

It's almost like we've done it two ways -- our first required a routine (feeding/reflux/allergy problems, my milk supply/pumping, etc.). We followed the advice from Baby Whisperer and really thought it valuable, worthwhile, and the best thing we could do under the circumstances. Much of it involved a routine of 2 naps during the day (first from 9-11 am, the next from 1-3 pm, no more than 2 hrs each), sometimes an evening 'catnap,' and sleeping from around 8 pm to around 7 in the morning. As far as eating, he would get bottles upon waking in the morning & from naps, and a separate 'dream feed' at 11 pm. That usually satisfied him for the night. If he woke up at night, we'd pat his back gently and sshhhhh until he went back to sleep. This pat-shush would sometimes take 30 minutes, though, so it was NOT easy!! (lots of prayers for patience were uttered, let me just say that) But he got used to the routine & if something got us off track (travels, visits to family, ate something he had an allergy to, etc.), it just took a coulple pat-shush nights or naps and he was back to his normal thing. [Sorry this is so long, but a few more details about Baby Whisperer can be found on the forums at their website. There's also key factors such as swaddling and, for a bit older baby (3-4 months+), the idea of 'pick-up/put-down'). Lots to read about, but it's worth it to get some direction & support!)]

As for our 2nd, a girl, she was able to breastfeed & has no known allergies, so she's our "AP" baby, sort of. While we don't adhere to the whole, 'have to hold your baby 24-7 for the sake of her future happiness' mantra, we do find it a lot less stressful and our family is more of a unit (rather than all the focus on one baby). I suppose it kind of has to be that way in a sense when the 2nd baby arrives; she will never get the focus like her older brother did when he was the only child and only baby. But regardless, she sleeps with me in our bed and barely has to whimper before she's hooked on & dozing away again. During the day she nurses whenever she seems to want to & has developed a bit of her own napping routine. Now, if we couldn't work into our day 2 to 3 naps where she is just nursing/sleeping/nursing/sleeping, we'd be in trouble, but as it is, it works for us- for now!

HTH & best wishes to you finding what works for you, your baby, and your family -- ;D

Edited to add: And if you pull your little one into bed with you for 3 hours & he nurses the whole time - it really sounds like a growth spurt to me. If you have supply issues, it can be dangerous to offer rice cereal or formula to help satisfy the baby; your supply will likely drop instead of increase. It's natural for the baby to demand more during growing times & this demand is supposed to trigger an increase in milk production - not an increase in supplements! And if your babe is teething, it can mean discomfort as well that would be nicely soothed with some special mommy time. However, if your baby is congested or has frequent ear infections, formula (and any dairy in your diet) can be a common culprit. Try an elimination diet to rule out allergies. Motheringdotcommune forums are great for navigating those waters... (and no, you don't have to be a hippie to read and appreciate the advice from the mamas on that site! I'm a conservative Christian, Republican, city chic & have just weeded out the garbage as I learn!)

I agree with the other moms about giving him some baby Tylenol or Ibuprofen and taking him to his pediatrician because it could be an ear infection, or even just teething, but either way it sounds like your little one is uncomfortable if he was previously sleeping and now he's not. I don't think food is the issue here. Is it possible for you to get someone to babysit for a few hours one day so you can get some sleep? I understand how the sleep deprivation is making you feel, because I am the same way . . . I start getting very depressed, look at everything as the "glass is half-empty" and my family suffers from my short fuse. So remember that you need to address your own health issues, too!

I am sure you are completely worn out and at your wits end. First off, when you get frustrated as long as you know he is safe in his bed and nothing is "wrong" then leave him cry for a few minutes and compse yourself. Even if it means going in the bathroom, locking the door and spending five minutes crying. He picks up on your frustration and reacts to it.
If he is sleeping during the day.. don't let him. This is what my doctor had me do with my oldest because she had her days and nights mixed up. Let him get to sleep, I mean a sound sleep and take a washcloth that is wet, room temerature, and wash his face. He will be mad as hell, but it will wake him. Let him fall asleep again, wash his face and wake him up. The only time you should let him sleep is when it would be a REGULAR nap time. It may take a couple of days but it does work! Good Luck!

Hi C.,

I would take him to the dr. It could be he has an ear ache or infection. If he is getting upset because he cannot breath put him in his baby carrier to sleep. It's easier to breath in an upright position and he feels cuddled by the padding. My daughter had frequent ear infections. She would not get fever, she would be fussy at night and not want to eat during the day.

Hope you find the answer you need. You are not alone.

I agree that growth spurts tend to make the little ones wake up more, but that doesn't make it any easier. Don't hate me for this reccomendation, but...have you tried formula at night? My friend had the same problem and would feed her daughter one bottle of formula at night. She would sleep much longer. It's just a thought. Good luck! I cetainly feel for you.

Do you have a cradle swing? That always helped us out when our baby had a cold and slept poorly due to breathing difficulties. The swing should have a more upright position to help drainage, keeping the airways clearer and allowing for a better night's sleep for everyone.

I'm sorry that you are having such a hard time. It sounds similar to what I went through with both of my babies. With the first one we noticed she slept better in her swing (even when it was totally still) so we let her sleep in it at night (buckled in and right next to my bed). With the second one we noticed she needed to be swaddled very tightly, we used two swaddling blankets (luckily it was winter). Or try turning a fan on (they like the white noise). Hope it helps but if not just know that eventually it will get better.

it could be an ear infection which can result from sinus drainage----prop him up with either pillows under his crib mattress; resting on you as u sleep in a recliner;in his car seat or ask your doc too for antibiotics. when they lay down horizontally it hurts their ears. God bless you sweetie!
one time my baby had thrush and i fell apart too!

Feed your son baby cereal/along with a bottle minutes before he's to be put to sleep in HIS crib. Do not put him in bed with you/spouse.

C.,
It sounds like this might be a case of illness. Often at that age, colds can lead to ear infections. Your son may not be sleeping because his ears hurt. Often when a baby has an ear infection, it hurts more when they lay down. I would recommend taking him to your pediatrician to rule out illness. It sounds like he was doing great with his sleep and he will hopefully quickly return to that once he feels well again. I wish my almost 3 month old was sleeping that well. Good luck! --H.

Can you tell if he is waking up due the the cold--congestion making it hard to breath or uncomfortable or he is waking up looking for you?

With my third--we ended up with her bed in our room just so we could get some sleep. She would wake herself up looking for me. But, if I could just reach over and touch her or talk to her, she would go back to sleep. At about 7 months or so, we were able to transition to having her bed in the next room so she could hear my voice-if she woke I would just talk to her and she would go back to sleep. Finally, at about 1 year we were able to move her upstairs with the other two children.

Parents can not always keep their kids from crying. But they can keep them from being manipulative. Sometimes Mom just needs to let him/her cry it out. If the baby is crying because s/he is sick or hurt, that is one thing, but if s/he is just being angry or controlling, for the good of the family, the baby needs to be allowed to cry (with no autdience) until his/her energy is spent. As soon as the crying has ceased, Mom can go in and attend to his/her needs. This tends to get the problem over faster. Baby will get used to the system. It takes control away from the baby, and rewards the baby only when the baby is NOT carrying on.

I took care of a two year old who would disrupt the whole family night or day. She could cry for two hours straight in the beginning. She would cry and scream no matter what her sisters did to calm her. (She was going to cry with or without comfort, occupying everybody's time in the process.) This wore everybody out. So, I gently sat the little girl on a chair. In a lull in the crying, I got down on her level and explained that as soon as she was done crying, we would give her hugs and get her her lunch. So, as long as she screamed, we "ignored' her. (I kept an eye on her out of the corner of my eye.) I told her sisters they needed to ignore her too, even if she called them. I also told them that the moment she stopped crying, they could love on her and feed her lunch. The sisters loved it, because they could watch the video they wanted to see instead of carry around their screaming sister. When the little girl had spent her energy and stopped crying, she was the sweetest little girl around! Her sisters made a big deal about her being such a big girl for deciding not to cry anymore, and they fed her lunch. I remained consistent with this program, and gradually the fits got shorter and shorter.

The way I see it is, I, the adult, know there is nothing there to hurt the child. The child is safe. There is no real reason to be crying. When she would cry in the night for her mommy, first she would be sad, but then the sadness would turn into anger. I could not "produce" her mother for her, but I could help her with her anger problem. So I would take her to the kitchen (the furthest place from the rooms where the kids were sleeping, and tell her: "There is nothing here that is going to hurt you. I am going to be kind to you, but I am not going to let you wake up your sisters. You don't need to cry. I am not going to hurt you. When you are finished crying, I will hold you and take care of your needs." And then I would go on cleaning up the kitchen and let her scream and cry. When she was thru, I held her for a while and told her that she was a big girl for deciding not to cry anymore. Then I took her hand and led her quietly around the apartment to see all the sleeping kids (my two, plus her 3 sisters). I named each person saying, "(Name) is sleeping here, and (another name)is sleeping there..., see?" After I had showed her where everybody was sleeping, I asked. And where is (her own name) going to sleep. She decided to crawl in with one of her twin sisters, and snuggled down and went to sleep. Then I laid down on my make-shift bed in the living room and went to sleep myself...for the whole rest of the night.

I know that your own precious bundle is not as old as this one, but probably can be just as conrolling. Perhaps something I have written can help you take charge in not permitting the baby to throw the family out of kilter. Find ways to reward your baby for doing the RIGHT thing.

Sincerely,
D. Sanchez

We went thru the wakeful nights with my son too. I had to just let him cry it out(which took like 30 min the first night). He learned to calm himself with his blanket. He is 3 now and still sleeps with that same blanket.

Someone put on there to put a gown with your scent in the bed...please DONT do that. He is too young for that and could be at risk for SIDS. I am kind of a paranoid mom.

This is what worked for me:

1. Put on some soft music in his room on continuous play (the sounds will drown out the rest of the house).

2. Turn on a fan to oscillate (the noise is soothing; my 11 yr old STILL sleeps with his fan).

3. Put one of your night gowns or a shirt that you have worn in the crib with him (the scent of Mommy is a great snuggle).

I also do not recommend that your little angel sleep in the same room as you. Breastfed babies seek out mom by the smell and will know that you are there. My boys never let me get any sleep in the same room.

I hope it helps.

Blessings,

P. <><

Wow! You've got your hands full. I was reading your entry and thinking to myself, we went through that too! Instead of it being a cold though, our 3 month old went through a pretty intense growth spurt. He was sleeping good and then that was totally rocked, waking every 4 hours at night to nurse, etc. Have you offered him any medicine? What has your pediatrician said? I would ask there first. I experienced that I just kept feeding him when he was hungry because my body needed to stimulate producing more milk. Then once we were all settled there, I started supplementing the last feeding of the night was a 5 ounce formula bottle. It has worked wonders at getting him to sleep longer. He now goes about 10 hours between feedings (8pm-6am). So much better. Don't know if that will help. But i reccomend it.