Generally our son is a good sleeper but he often had to cry for 10 minutes or so to fall asleep. He has no attachment to anything and has been unable to self soothe himself. We have tried with stuffed animals and a blanket but he just kicks it away or throws the stuffie across the room. He used to take a pacifier but at 7 months decided he no longer wanted it anymore. Since then, he cries to go down for his naps and bedtime. We are very consistent with his routine. He has a morning nap 2 1/2 hours after he wakes and then another afternoon nap 3 hours after he wakes from his morning nap and then a bedtime around 6:30 to 7 PM.
A few days ago he started standing and pulling up in his crib. At first we thought it was funny and cute and would go in and lay him down. Well, everytime, he just turned around and gets back up and starts crying. After going in there many times and talking to his pediatrician, we were instructed by her not to go in there at all and to just let him stand. So this has been going on for two days now. He stands and cries for the entire two hour nap time and also last night he stood the whole night (the first night he did lay down for a few hours but got back up to stand very early). I could hear him in there whimpering last night when I would listen for him. Finally at 5 AM, I went in and held himand he went right to sleep and I laid next to him but when he woke up, he started climbing on me and would not settle. I know he has to be exhausted, he has barely slept. The pedi said it could take weeks but I am not prepared to let him sleep standing up for the next two weeks. She told me he is much more strong willed than other babies and that it usually does not take very long. I will also add, he got his first tooth a few weeks ago and could very well be getting another. I am just adding that we used to hold him to try to get him to sleep but he gets fussy and wiggly and never settles so the rocking him to sleep is not an option since it does not work with him. He just crawls over me and starts arching his back. Thanks for the thoughts though!
Just wanted to thank all you great moms out there for some ideas and advice. So my gut was really telling me not to let him cry even thought that is what his doctor, nurse, and some family told us to do. It was making me sick to my stomach and I wasn't sleeping at all knowing he was in there standing. My husband kept talking me out of it so the he spent one more night crying himself to sleep in a standing position. When I woke up at 5 AM again, he was still standing and since my husband was asleep, I took it on myself to try something new. I nursed him (yes still breastfeeding) and he fell asleep at the breast. I picked him up and placed him in his crib and he immediately screamed and pulled himself up. I gently placed him back down and this went back and forth over and over. I strongly rubbed his back when he was turning over to stand and eventually, I wore him out and he fell asleep. It took almost two hours the first time. We did the same thing for the naps and also for bedtime tonight and he has gone to sleep each time albeit, it is taking a long time but it beats having him stand all night. Tonight it took about 1 hour to get him to sleep and I am hoping it gets shorter in the future. It is interesting to hear what you moms have said because he has proven over and over again to be a very sensitive child and now I have proof that the cry it out method is not good for him. My husband has agreed to do whatever I suggest so I think we will stick with this and hopefully as time goes on, he will go to sleep on his own. Thanks again for all the help!
I don't agree with making kids cry it out. Personally I think it's good that he is not attached to any "thing." Babies and children should be attached to people, not things. He just wants you, the one he depends on, his favorite person :)
My boy did the same thing when he was about 11 months old (he's 19 mo. now) and what I did seems cruel but it worked. I would go in, lay him down and hold him down while singing/patting him. Put one hand on his head and one on his little butt and just hold him down. Usually he would WAIL for about 30 seconds then would pass out (because he was so overly tired, he would pass out fast for the first few days of this). And then he would inevitably wake up 30 minutes later at both nap times and night times, so we were just prepared for it. For naps I would just lay on the floor in his room and rest for a bit, then once i'd hear him stirring i would jump up quick and hold/pat him down without picking him up until he was out again. After a couple weeks of this, he started to sleep longer and still goes to sleep with us patting his butt and singing. After he was sleeping through the night again and napping, we started to leave him before he was completely asleep so he could fall asleep on his own for the night. Pat him down like you do, but say "night night" when his breathing starts slowing and his eyes are closed and walk out. It worked great for us---I hope you find what works for your son soon! Best of luck!
i don't believe in self soothing,I'm a mom from the 80's and I always rocked my baby's and tot's to sleep and they slept through the night from 6 weeks on. I think when they are nurtured to sleep they sleep more peacefully cause they feel asleep feeling safe and secure. Some of my sweetest memories were my little hearts falling a sleep in my arms. J.
I don't know how long he is napping for but that sounds like a lot of sleep for an 11 month old. I think his bed time is too early and he may not be ready to sleep so then he plays around. Rock him to sleep and put him down when he is drowsy but awake around 8:30. An 11 month old should be getting no more than 3 hours of sleep during the day and 11 hours at night and should be waking up around 7:30. Not sure about the standing up but if he's not tired he could be trying to tell you something.
Okay, well I kinda tend to agree with your pediatrician, BUT, if he's teething that is totally different. I think you need to give him something for his teeth before bed and see if that helps. You can use Tylenol, Motrin, Teething Tablets and/or Orajel. Also, it could be an ear infection if it came on recently and he is crying when laid down. Maybe he's standing b/c it hurts to lay down??
OR...maybe he's just standing b/c he can, he's becoming more aware and he doesn't want to be left out.
I would check out to make sure it's not teething and not ears and if it isn't either, then I'm all for cry-it-out. I may be in the minority, but self soothing is a life skill! They need to know how to make themselves calm and how to cope and 11 months is certainly not too young!
can you try putting him in a sleep sack, so he can't stand? some may think its cruel, but that's what we did with my 1st son...He never had a problem standing in the middle of the night...He did fall once or twice, but after that it wasn't really attempted, until it was time to get up...my 2nd unfortunately is too hot of a sleeper (even with the aden n anais sleep sacks) He just sweats when he sleeps & even he he falls asleep he's up w/in 20 b/c he's too hot.
I'm lucky in that I can still nurse mine down, but there are other days where this is impossible. like your son there is no cuddling or rocking...However occasionally I can wear him down in a carrier type thing (my ergo). Maybe that'll work for you? Basically if I sit still with him he thinks its playtime. Sometimes I can even walk with him in the cradle hold and he's out in a minute flat. The trick is to hold him tight so they can't move they're just trying to keep themselves awake!!
At this point he just sounds way overtired...I would do whatever I could to get him to nap during the day, stroller car whatever..In the end it might help bedtime. I noticed my son always wakes and stands more when his naps are all off...Also as a mom mentioned it could be he's transitioning to one nap or napping too much. I had my 1st down to one nap by 10mths...It just worked for him...And even today at 2.5 he takes a 2-3hr naps....
Geeze I'm so sorry this got so long winded. But just to let you know what works for my youngest right now is kind of like the other mom, where you basically hold them down so they don't get up. I've had to modify mine, b/c my lil' guy is way to strong now, and I just can't hold him down ...But I pretty much just set him in the crib and before he even can get in the sitting position gently lay him back down. Use the length of the crib and go up and down. When he's down pat, rub his head, I do a bounce with my son instead of a pat, while continually reminding him that its night night time. I do this until he's asleep. Some nights I can just lay him down once and say its night night. And he stays down. Other nights he will thrash around, and get up and down 100 times. Albeit sometimes it takes us 45 minutes with this to get him asleep, but once he's down he'll sleep for 3-4 hrs at night, and about 1.5 for naptime.
Good Luck I hope you find something that works..It is just a phase a horribly tiring one for us..But it will soon pass. I'd also as others have mention try a pain reliever, when my LO is cutting teeth he gets restless which just leads to the standing, crawling or screaming while half asleep...It does get better tho'
I am also not a fan of letting my baby cry. I believe that the "experts" change their minds every decade, or so, so I do what feels right to me. Babys need love and comfort, more than anything, IMO. I find that the more attention I pay to my daughter, and the more I hold her, the less she fusses and the happier she seems overall. She sleeps through the night, and she is a very calm baby. When I'm busy with school, and not paying as close attention to her, she is a totally different baby. I think the psychology is similar to that as adults. If you chase love you cant find it, if you don't then it comes to you. If you give a baby all of the love and comfort they want, they don't feel compelled to beg you for it (crying acting out, IMO). Just do what feels right to you.
off the wall idea is there something in his bed poking him? I would also see if his gums are hot if they are giving him teething tablets and tylenol. I would seek a second opinion he may need to be sedated this is not normal. I did this at about 2 and mom had to take me to the doctor and have me sedated. I was out for 4 days. check his bed and his teeth if nothing there get a second opinion.
Well sorry to say, but my son by the time he was close to a year old only started taking one nap a day. He would only nap from 11 am to 1 pm or 1:30. We couldn't get him to take a nap any longer than that. Even if he was cranky at his normal morning nap time, my son would not sleep at all. I just had to give it up and look forward to the other nap time. Also if he slept in the car, that was it. I couldn't transfer him to his bed, he would be up as soon as we put him down. It was terrible. My daughter was so much better. Napped all the way through kindergarten which made going to first grade really hard though, but we survived. I would let it ride out and see how long it takes. He won't break, you just may have a cranky child for a bit, but remember this too shall pass.
He wouldn't be crying for you if he didn't need you. I think it was a bit cruel of your pediatrician to suggest letting him stand and cry for such a long time. Has he been evaluated for abdominal/digestive issues? Is he perhaps having issues with formula (assuming you don't breastfeed) or a new food? Or maybe teething is excruciating for him right now and he needs help. I hope you and he find the answers you need. Please don't refrain from soothing him when he's crying for you.
I feel your pain. My son is 11 months isnt standing but is trying to pull himself up so instead he hits his face off the rails of the crib all the time . Not sure the anwser but I usually go in and lay him back down eventually he gives in and falls asleep. Its awful cause my son used to be a good sleeper and lets face it if they are up whimpering all night so are you...hope you get good suggestions cause I could use some good advise.
Here is what happened to me. It may or may not help you. I hope it helps you, but whatever happens, I hope you figure out something that works for YOU and YOUR baby. Every baby is unique and sometimes we just have to do some oddball thing that ends up working. I laughed at the one response about the lady who had to pat the kid's butt and hold his head down. It may sound cruel to some, but that's what got them all a good night's sleep, so thank goodness she found that worked for her.
I have 3 kids, each totally different in terms of sleep patterns. My second was an amazingly easy newborn, who slept all the time. But when he hit 4 or 5 months, he got horrible separation anxiety. I tried "Feberizing" him (the crying out method), which literally worked like a charm with my oldest when my oldest was 6 months. But my second kid would just cry and cry and cry and cry and not go down for naps. I did the Ferber thing by the book for almost two straight months, no kidding, and it never worked. I thought my neighbors would call Child Protective Services because that poor baby cried so long each afternoon. And at night, even after he nursed to sleep, if he even heard us whisper in the other room, he would wake up crying, and cry for an hour before he passed out. We tried everything.
We finally realized he just seriously wanted us in the room with him and had horrible separation anxiety. It was a bit of a sacrifice on my husband and my relationship, but this is what we ultimately ended up doing, and it worked, and we all got sleep.
We put a mattress on the floor next to the baby's crib. One of us slept there all night. As long as the baby saw us next to his crib on the floor he would go back to sleep. We would literally see him peeking over the side to check it we were there. I think we did this until he was almost 3. No joke.
Also, for his afternoon nap, I would take a nap on the mattress. If he woke up, and saw my eyes closed, he would go back to sleep even longer. We got some great naps. Sure, I didn't get much done around the house during nap time, but I needed the nap anyway, and I would bring something to read for the first hour or so sometimes.
It was just my second child's unique disposition that left us in that situation. He has always been more sensitive than the other two, and is a real sweetheart, very attached to people and aware of other's feelings. He just needed us to be right there during sleep time. And don't worry, that kid is now 8, sleeps great, in his own room by himself, and has no separation anxiety issues.
Anyway, I hope that helps.
