I'm looking for suggestions to get my 3 year old to sleep better again. He used to go to sleep easily and sleep through the night. Within the last year he has wanted more lights on (because he says he's scared) and lately has been getting up many times at night. He shares a bedroom with his 10 month old brother which only compounds the problem. He usually says that he's scared, doesn't like to sleep or has to go potty. He's been potty trained since the beginning of the summer. He did have an accident a few weeks ago and I don't know if that has affected him or not. It was a little dramatic because he woke up screaming, I went to see what happened, his brother started screaming, I had to strip the bed and find him new clothes...anyway, now he tries to go potty many times over night. I didn't make a big deal out of the accident either. I told him it was OK and that I would help him. But it isn't just the potty. He doesn't want to sleep in his room, he doesn't want to lay on the couch. I think it has mostly become a power struggle because he sleeps fine when he spends the night at grandma's. But now I'm at a loss on how to win this struggle so that we can all get some sleep! It's waking up all four of us and everyone is getting crabby. What kind of consequences can you have in the middle of the night, when he is just stalling going back to bed??
Hi. My three year old doesn't want to sleep anymore because she has bad dreams with monsters. You may want to try or look into Bach's Mimulus. It is a flower essence. I put it in her water bottle. There is also a homeopathic remedy called calms forte. That helps settle them down to go to bed if you have those challenges too. Hoping it's a phase. :)
K.,
My daughter did the same thing for awhile when she was 3.. She seemed genuinely scared so we made a bed for her on the floor(on a crib mattress)in our room. She slept there when she was scared in the middle of the night and we (in turn) got the sleep we needed. I was certain that I didn't want her in our bed so the floor was our solution. We have successfully got her back into her room and she is sleeping in her own bed again. It was just a phase (that lasted only a few months) and I am guessing that is what your little guy is going thru too. Good luck!
C.
Maybe his baby brother is breathing differently and your son is having problems sleeping through it. Also maybe the baby is moving around more then he use to and every little noise might be bugging your older son. There may be no option to give them different rooms but if you can look into it.
My daughter is a very deep breather and makes a lot of noise moving around while sleeping... when we are on vacations and share a room w/my daughter my hubby has a hard time sleeping because of the nosies my daughter makes.
I have written in about sleeping issues related to my almost-three-year-old and seven-month-old sharing a room, so I feel your pain. My suggestion is to put a waterproof pad (they sell a two-pack of soft flannel ones at Babies R Us) on top of the sheet and under him to give him a sense of security that if he does have an accident, he won't get the bed wet. Also, have him practice (during waking hours!) getting clean jammies out of his dresser by himself. Give him as little attention as possible when he wakes up - this is what he is feeding off of. He can relearn to soothe himself back to sleep like he did when he was a baby, but a "prop" could help. I have heard my daughter turn on her bedtime CD if she wakes up in the middle of the night, and other than hearing the music on the monitor, I wouldn't even know she was up.
It sounds like he might be having nightmares and he really is scared (maybe to go to sleep). It might be time to have a talk about dreams and the fact that they aren't real. The fears of a 3 year old are very real, we just have to figure out what they are and help him understand what is and isn't going to understand. Good luck!
Read Dr Sears Night Time Parenting or anything from askdrsears.com. He is a leader in parenting and sleep.
Let your son sleep in a nest (sleeping bag or crib mattress) on the floor in your room. He will be close, but you can still get some sleep.
This too shall pass!
Good luck,
J.
Sorry to hear you are sleep deprived! We all know how that is.
#1. His fears are real, this is the age where they start to have a broader imagination and fear of the dark and monsters (my son sometimes says he is afraid Dinosaurs will come eat us at night :-)). So, you can try things like Monster Spray - this helps my son. Just mix water and a drop or two of peppermint extract in a small spray bottle. He could even decorate it himself with a picture of his most feared monster.
#2. Developmentally, it is normal to not be dry through the night until age 6. So to reassure him, tell him it is normal and buy some nighttime pull-ups for him to wear to bed.
#3. I have always found that when it comes to power struggles, offering a reward for the behavior you want vs. threats of consequences works better. Especially if your child is strong-willed like mine. You could try starting a bedtime money jar. When he resists sleep say, "Ok, here is one quarter. If you can stay in your bed quietly, you can put it in your jar in the morning. But, if not, then the quarter mine." If he does pretty well for a week or so, offer to take him on a shopping trip where he can buy something at the store with the money he has earned. You will be suprised at how motivated he might be.
Good luck!
Bottom line: you'll all sleep EVENTUALLY, regardless of what you do.... :-)) Not much consolation, is it?
You're absolutely right to doubt the effectiveness of consequences" when he's tired and scared.
I guess I would keep reassuring him that he's safe, and you'll help him if he needs to go potty or wets his bed. Maybe even the fact that you had to change his whole bed got him shook up about the whole experience, so tell him you're sorry if that scared him. When our son wets his bed, we actually put an old towel on the wet spot and deal with changing the bed in the morning, so as not to disturb his twin sister, who's pretty much done with bedwetting.
Then again, you could offer to let him sleep with you when he wakes up, if that works for you. Or, move the baby to your bedroom? Maybe the baby's presence disturbs him, maybe it was stressful to hear the baby crying the night he wet his bed, and he remembers that?
Fear is huge for little kids, so he needs you to be his safe haven. Good luck.
