My daughter just turned 3. We started potty training 4 days ago. We had to wait to this long to potty train her because she was having constipation issues that in the last two months have cleared up. Bottom line is that she's terrified to eliminate anything on the potty. She's not having many accidents bc she's just holding it in for hours and hours. Then she explodes (on the potty) but is crying and terrified. I sit with her comforting her through it all.
We aren't using pull ups and she's not having accidents during her naps or nighttime sleep. We are using awesome rewards (prizes) and affirmations. She has a princess potty chair that she's loved since she got it and loves her little undies too. She is just fearful. It's so sad for us to watch.
Has anyone else experiences this? What was the "lightbulb" moment for these kinds of children? Any suggestions?
Thanks!
Thank you everyone! I took advice from many of you and put it to use. We are on day day 8 of potty training and she is getting less & less fearful. She's still having a hard time pooping on the potty and wants me to hold her tummy (I think she thinks her tummy is going to fall out when she poops). Thank you all for your responses!
Don't know what the light bulb was, just that there was one. It's just part of the process. It goes away. They realize it's not a big thing. Just wait it out, it gets better!!
Time. Sorry no magic pill, just time. Eventually she realizes that holding it is worse than going potty.
I would start giving her a lot more to drink. Then, let her run around in just a shirt, or if she has to have them on, then her shirt and panties. This will make it so that she can't hold it. Move the princess potty to the living room or play room so that when she has to go she can make it.
My guess is that she is scared it will hurt, especially from the constipation. We went through this with my dd. She didn't want to stop playing to go, and she had a lot of constipation issues as well. But, about 2 weeks ago she finally got a UTI from not going. We of course gave her meds, but we also made it so that she didn't have a choice it was coming out! This really helped her realize that holding in potty made it hurt.
Supernanny had this problem on one of her shows and she had the dad sit on the toilet next to the potty chair and had the son and dad read books on the potty until he was comfortable on it, then he started being able to use it. This is another technique to try. Oh, and bribery by drink is totally acceptable here...juice, pop, etc. to get her to drink a lot...its just for a week or so, and the difference amazing!!
Is she using a small training potty that sits on the floor? or just a training seat that sits on top of the regular toilet.
My kids did best on the small potty on the floor. Once I had to even move it to just outside the bathroom (on the vinyl floor) because my kid thought the bathroom was scary.
Since you just started a few days ago, don't push her. Let her have some accidents. When she has an accident, take her in to the bathroom, rinse her off in the shower and put clean clothes on her, in the bathroom. Don't take her back to her room or use a changing table, the bed, etc.
The DVD 'Potty Power' worked well for my daughter who was about that age when she trained.
I've noticed my DD will go #2 in the potty better right after waking (both nap and overnight). Books are a great distraction but if she is that worked up try videos. I've potty trained my own and quite a few daycare children and books really help. You can read them to her or just giving her the books to browse through can be a good distraction from her anxiety. Try sitting her on the big potty (sometimes that position can be better). I have a daycare child that has been having constipation issues the entire time she's been in my care (and before that). Did she have trouble going in her diaper for #2 before you started training? You could try putting her in a diaper and having her sit on the potty in it while she goes to ease her into it more.
Are you taking her to the potty with you when you have a bowel movement? I would do that. Stand up and show it to her before you wipe. Make sure that you are eating prunes so that you don't show any "strain" on your face. Be pleasant about the whole thing, stand up and flush and say "Boy, my tummy feels so much better!! I like getting the poo out!!" I think if you take her every time with you in the bathroom for this, it will make a difference.
I had to poop in front of my daughter for her to want to do it. When she saw it didn't hurt me (and she got an m&m! Best thing ever for her!) she was into it. I hated doing it, because I"m a very private bathroom person, but it was what she needed to see.
don't know if anyone has suggested this yet, but the book "It hurts when I poop" was helpful for my little one. You can get it on amazon or maybe check with your local library.
Some kids believe that poop is a part of themselves and it scares them for it to go into the toilet. If you're using the big toilet, try using a potty chair. That way she can see the poop in the same shape it came out of her and all by it's self. Show her the poop. Talk about and how it's waste from the food she's eaten. Wait until she's out of the bathroom before flushing it down the toilet.
If you're not doing it already, I'd take her to sit on the potty chair/toilet every hour or so. Make it fun. Read, play with toys that she can only have while she's on the potty. Don't push her to go. I suggest that when she's distracted it will naturally come out.
Another technique that I've heard suggested which you could try instead of the potty chair is to sit the little one facing backwards on the toilet, having put a couple of books or toys on top of the tank. This spreads their legs out more, making it easier to pee/poop and the books/toys distracts them.
