My granddaughter turned 3 last month. She can be very sweet most of the time. Recently she has been throwing fits, throwing things and not listening. last night she called grandpa "stupid" and mocked her dad when he was trying to talk to her. She's waking in the middle of the night and wants to watch TV.
I might add she has a new baby brother which she seems to adore but all this bad mouthin and not listening we believe is coming from school. Although she never gets bad reports from school and she's been there since she was 7 months old.
Is this normal at this age. Noone says "stupid" in the house. her class has many more boys than girls....do boys talk more like this?
She has been getting lots of attention since new baby brother.But she has these meltdowns over the littlest things.
Any ideas would be greatly appreciated!
I'd say she's being three and testing her limits. I wouldn't worry about the root of the problem: it sounds like she is loved and around lots of people that take care of her and adore her, and she probably couldn't tell you anyway. Correct the behavior and enjoy her and the new baby!
She is getting a little from school (both boys and girls talk like that, depends on what their home environment is like), the age 3 brings on an attitude because they are trying to be their own person as well as fitting in, but it also has to do with the new baby. Even if she adores the new baby addition she has been use to ALL the attention and now someone else is taking some of that attention.
Reinforcement: you and parents still love her, come up with how to best handle the tantrums that both parents and you can enforce so it is handled the same way each time, when she says something that you/parents do not like remind her that we do not talk like that or use those words and have "strict" bed time rules (we do not watch TV, you can get up to use potty but then right back to bed, and so on) will help. In the end it will just take time for her to adjust completely to the change, just keep reenforcing good behavior :)
For meltdowns we say 'We/I do not listen to crabbies. Please go to your room and come back when you are ready to talk without the crabbies.' At first it took 5-10 mins for her to calm herself down, now it takes less then a minute and she rejoins us. We also gave her the tool of when crabby to take deap breaths in and out, it helps relax/calm as well as something else to focus on.
I found my daughter became a lot worse when she turned 3 (I thought 2 was bad enough) , so yes it is normal and some of it could be a reaction to the new sibling , even though she adores him and is getting lot's of attention there will still be some resentment , it's normal. Yourselves and her parents are going to have to be firm and consistent with the discipline....tough love is what is needed , if they make allowances now just because of the new baby then she will always expect that and she has to learn what is acceptable and what not.
I'm with Denise! The three's are TERRIBLE, especially with girls! Keep up with discipline. This phase will pass, and four's are fun :)
You are talking about my daughter right? She is three and half the time sweet as sugar...then *bam* she is throwing things ans screeching like a banshee. She has an older brother, so I have been through 3 before and it is totally normal.
I ignore the fits, so those stop pretty quickly because there is no reward for throwing them. If she throws something, she has to go pick it up and put it back where it goes. Her latest bad word is "tooty-head". And for this she has to sit in her time out chair then apologize. Do you know how hard it is not to laugh when a 3 year old cutie is calling someone a "tooty-head"??
Welcome to three...it is an adventure here!
HUGS!!
Sounds like a case of the "threes" to me! LOL The terrible twos weren't that terrible with my son, but the three's were horrible! Just keep up with the discipline--she'll test you every day.
Kids hear things on tv, from people around them and yes, sometimes from school. Some of her behavior though is probably from the arrival of the new baby. Even though she is getting a lot of attention, 3 is young and no matter how much they love the new addition, their little brain is still trying to accept the fact that they are not an only child any longer.
You didn't tell us what type of discipline is usually used when your granddaughter misbehaves. A child will try to push the boundaries at every age. This behavior needs to be stopped now. When she uses an inappropriate word, she should be told the first time that that word isn't allowed and if she does it again she will go to time out. She should know by 3 years not to throw, and since that is a behavior that could result in someone getting injured, she should be in timeout immediately for that. If she has been told to do something and she is not complying, give one warning and tell her she can choose to do what was asked of her or she can choose to sit in time out.
Stay firm.
Are you a guest in my home? Have you met my daughter? LOL! Cause they sounds very similar! My 3 year old has gotten an attitude a mile wide! She doesn't go to daycare or school, and I STILL don't know where she gets some of the stuff she says. I imagine it's from her older cousins. Anyway..I think 3 is the age they start to realize that they are individuals. That they can have a say in the way things are "run." I'm telling ya..there are some days when I think I'm going to lose my mind from all the sassy talk that comes out of my daughter's mouth. If she is disrespectful or defiant, she goes in time out. I explain to her that we don't talk that way because it's just not nice. It's not a foolproof plan, since she's still kinda mouthy. And the meltdowns...do NOT get me started on those! If I ask her to eat her breakfast it's like the world has ended. I think the best thing to do in that situation is to ignore her. I'm pretty sure that it's all about the attention at this age.
It probably has a little to do with baby brother too. She might seem well adjusted, but she's probably feeling a little displaced. It's not that anybody is doing anything wrong. A new baby is a big change for everyone. We noticed a lot of my oldest's behaviors changed when I had her baby sister last summer.
I wish I has bulletproof plan to get the sassiness to stop. If you find one, can you let me know? All I can do right now is pray that this phase passes sooner rather than later!
It sounds like a combination of both. She's probably heard the word, "stupid," at preschool...and has decided to try it out at home when frustrated. I think having a new baby brother is putting the word "stupid," into overtime.
I am a new grandma to a granddaughter...so Woo Hoo for granddaughters, right? :)
Thinking back to raising my own daughter...I remember the threes being much more difficult than the twos. I think it's a combination of her age, her hearing new words at school, and competing with baby brother.
There is NO new baby in our house and I am seeing many of the same things with my three year old. For the first time she is flat out telling me "no" to things. Looking forward to some ideas...I am at a bit of a loss. Some of the strategies that have been working are not any longer. Resistance is futile.
Sorry...no help...just solidarity.
Whoever said that two was bad, clearly never had a three year old...someone didn't make it that far...lol.
It sounds normal to me. Its the new terrible twos. It seems that most kids go through their terrible two's at three. The name calling could be picked up any where.
When my sister had her 2nd child the 1st one would beat up on him. My sister couldn't leave them in the same room because the youngest would get hurt.
she may be picking up the behaviors from school...but make no mistake, most likely the cause of the behaviors is the new baby. it is still a change no matter how you sugar coat it, and kids don't do well with change. just make sure she's still disciplined the same, make sure the expectations of her good behavior don't waver, make sure she gets lots of one on one time (as much as you can manage) with you and her parents, and she'll get through it. soon she'll be the sweet little girl you remember lol.
It's the new baby. It's just something you'll have to work through with love and compassion. Tell her when she's not being nice and that it's not acceptable, and move on.
It will turn around:)
