3 Year Old Won't Go to Bed

My suggestions:

Have him nap earlier in the day and keep the nap short at 3 years of age.

Maybe give him a few books to read from and some warm milk before he goes to bed at night. Let him choose when he's tired and when he wants to go to bed. When he's ready, he can turn out his night light or fall asleep. I know it's not ideal and doesn't provide for the best sleep habits, but it's much better than the current situation.

Avoid any caffeine at night, which includes chocolate.

Maybe going for a walk with him for about 15 minutes an hour before his bedtime. He might enjoy that.

TV right before bedtime will keep him "wired" Take out the TV at least an hour before bedtime.

My son was great for a long time but since he turned 2 we've had bad nights from time to time. He's 3 now. We usually have no issue of getting him upstairs, mostly because it's fun. He gets to race us and then if he gets upstairs first (he always does) he gets to hide somewhere in the bathroom, usually under the vanity or behind the door. Then we use the potty and brush teeth. He then races to his room where he also gets to hide - alway under his covers. After that we read 3 books, put on music and then quiet time. I used to lay in bed for a few minutes with him but that stopped working, so now I stay in his room with him for a few minutes, by his door, but he has to stay quiet. Then I say good night and tell him I'll be outside his door listening to him fall asleep. The rule is that we can't talk anymore, but he can talk to himself. This has really helped the separation anxiety and the meltdowns that usually followed. Good Luck! I know night time battles are the worst.

I highly recommend checking out Elizabeth Pantley's site:

http://www.pantley.com/elizabeth/

I love her No Cry Sleep Solution book for Toddlers and Preschoolers.

yep, been there too... I finally pulled the tough love approach, and locked my son in his room... he only cried for 5 minutes, as he kept checking the doorknob.
then the next night he cried for thirty seconds.
(I was holding the doorknob from the outside)
I haven't needed to do that again in six months and counting.
In your case, you're saying he would cry for three hours. YIKES. Perhaps he needs some help soothing himself to sleep? ... my son will "read" a book on his own if I tell him it's time for bed, but he doesn't want to go to sleep.
At his request, I'll leave his light on, so he can see the pictures. It seems to work...
He also likes his big ELMO stuffed animal. He sleeps with it in his bed...
I say these things, but these are only working for me now that I pulled a successful tough love routine.
Before that, the only soothing was to hold him until he fell asleep...

Oh - we were so there...it was a long 9 months, but I think we are out of it now. And I look back and try to see the things that we did to change it, but I think we tried all the same things and she still struggled. Our problem wasn't that she cried, but that she just kept coming out of bed and coming downstairs.

A couple of things we are doing differently now, some of which might have contributed to the change but not sure are:
1. Talking about tomorrow - the fun things that are going to happen and what we are going to do once we have a "good snooze"
2. Talking about things to dream about
3. Putting a clock in the room and telling her that bedtime is 8:00 and we don't get up in the morning until the clock says 6:00
4. The bedtime routine list - we put together a list of all of the things that we do leading up to bedtime, decorated it and looked at it every night for a while with the last item being going to sleep. We used that for a month or so and then it stopped being helpful.
5. We tried music in her room but she got distracted by it - she was probably a little bit young at 2 1/2 so might help you?
6. Telling her what we are doing downstairs and that we are going to go to bed soon and will come check on her before we go to bed.
7. We really shifted our approach from "get in bed!" to "why are you having trouble going to sleep" and that helped a little bit. We stopped creating a power struggle, which I think was gearing her up more. Unfortunately it sounds like your son is gearing himself up so not sure how to handle that.

Our daughter's problem was getting out of bed and was driven by not wanting to miss what was happening downstairs. That is why some of these may have helped a little. Not sure if your son has the same things going through his head so not sure if these will help. But thought I'd send them along in case. I TOTALLY FEEL YOUR PAIN. I hope it gets better really soon! Good luck

Dear mom, two things come to mind. Keeping him awake, busy and exhausting him during the daytime so that he's too tired to stay awake at night. This can be done by finding out what he like most and making his day full of it. Another idea is to make use of either musical or lava lamps. Let him pick out the one he's attracted to then place it by his bed. Check to see if they have battery operated ones for safety. If this and bed time stories/ warm milk doesn't work after playing possum laying down next to him? Then a.s.a.p.--always say a prayer, first.

Hi J.,

You said that you are a full-time working mom, is he in daycare? The reason I ask is there a possibility he is napping to long at daycare and is just not tired. I own a childcare center and children are only required to rest for 30 minutes, so if they are not sleeping we allow them to get a book, puzzle, color etc as long as they remain quiet while the others rest. Depending on the child I have 4 year old children who still love to nap and I have 3 year old children who just won't. If he is in daycare talk to the teacher and ask if he is napping. If he is ask how long and what times maybe they can have him just rest and not sleep. One other suggestion is to tell him maybe 15 minutes before bedtime so he can prepare. Maybe something like okay pick what you would like to do before bed because in 15 minutes it is bedtime. Maybe if he has time to prepare himself and do whatever it is he loves before hand he will feel prepared. Do you do a story with him to calm him down, or maybe put on some relaxing music in his room. My kids always went to sleep with music it relaxed them and put them right to sleep. Good luck I am sure it is a phase that will pass.

You say that if you go get him he will sit for 10 minutes and then go to sleep. It sounds like he doesnt have enough notice that its bed time. What is he doing when you tell him to go to bed? Playing, watching TV? If he is watching TV make sure you dont make him turn the TV off in the middle of his show. It would be better to turn the TV off several minutes before bedtime. If he is playing, tell him 15 minutes or so before bedtime that he has to clean up and get ready for bed. Perhaps let him put his PJ's on and then come back down for a story, instead of a story in bed. He might need time to unwind before getting into bed.
I am not a big fan of CIO, since the child can escalate his crying until he becomes hysterical. Tell him its bedtime and you expect him to be quiet. With a night light you might give him a picture book to read till he settles. Personally I have never had a child refuse to stay in bed more than once. A few kids have bounced up as soon as I left the room and I told them to go back to bed or suffer the consequences. He is old enough to understand consequences. So if he cries tell him he will not have his favorite (whatever) the next day. Then make sure you take the whatever away from him and tell him why. Do NOT give in. If he cries the next night take another whatever away. By now its become a habit and you might have a hard time breaking the habit.