F'ing Nap Time. Lol

I did what Mamazita described. I laid down with her, read books, sang quiet songs, and usually she eventually fell asleep. She napped most days up until Kindergarten, though getting the nap in took my time, too. But well worth it to have a rested child.

Might need to call "nap time" "quiet time". Make sure her room is still baby proof, set her in close the door, put up two pressure baby gates, one on top of the other in the doorway and walk away. One hour later sleep or not, let her out.

Our son hated the thought he might miss anything during nap.
So I'd lay down with him and more often than not we'd BOTH end up napping.
It worked out well.

Geez, when mine stopped going down for naps willingly we just had quiet time. I would lay down in bed with them, read a few stories, close the blinds and we would lay there for a while. Sometimes the kid would fall asleep, sometimes we both would. It was a much needed break for both of us either way.
Not sure why nap time needs to be so much drama in your house. If the kid doesn't sleep she doesn't sleep, what's with all the fighting and screaming? Give her a pillow and blanket and let her watch TV on the couch if YOU need a break but otherwise let it go. They don't nap forever you know.

Sounds like she got exactly what she wanted - Carilou...

Here's my suggestion. Don't tell her that it's time for a nap. Don't sit in the room with her. Tell her that it's now quiet time and she has to stay in her room for quiet time. Tell her that it's HER quiet time and YOUR quiet time. And NOTHING is going to make it so she leaves that room until quiet time is over.

Tell her that if she cries or tries to come out of the room, she loses "x" privilege for the day. What is her "currency"? What does she like to do the most? Hold it out until after the quiet time. She HAS to stay in the room. No coming out of it. That's going to be a given. What your daughter will need to decide is if she is going to get her privilege or not AND have to stay in her room too, since nothing she does will get her what she wants - out of the room. No matter how much she comes out, you won't allow it. Over and over you put her back in that room (unless you want to put a latch up at the top of the door so that she can't get out. You could just leave the doorknob out anyway so that there's just a hole...)

You have to mean what you say and say what you mean. NO giving into this privilege if she has not taken her quiet time QUIETLY without coming out of her room. And no giving it to her earlier in the day so that she gets a taste of it.

It will take TIME to get this across to her. She will learn, though you might feel like she will never stop. You may have to up it to a couple of favorite privileges until she accepts your demand. So be it.

You will have many of these showdowns with a strong willed child. If you don't deal with this NOW and get her to decide to accept your rules, she will be terrible to deal with by the time she has to go to school. Do yourself the favor now and just do it...

Around that age, my daughter stopped napping during the day, and her behavior did suffer from it. I could tell she was tired, but she would fight it SOOO hard that it caused more aggravation than the lack of a nap did. (She was out of her crib around 18 months because of climbing, so I wouldn't blame it completely on the change of bed...)

Instead of fighting it, I told her that she was getting to be SUCH a big girl, and she didn't need nap time any more! She got to have big-girl quiet time instead! That meant that she got to pick out a few books, and lay down and look at them in bed until the timer went off. (Set for an hour.) most of the time, she would fall asleep. When she stayed awake, I would let her look at her books. I encouraged her to lay down, but didn't push it. As she started sleeping less, I would allow her to take a coloring book instead of just picture books, and lessened the time to 30 minutes.

I had also noticed that her internal clock woke her up at the same time every morning, no matter what time she went to sleep... So we worked on moving her bedtime up. Eventually she got moved up about 2 hours, and still woke at the same time, so she was getting more sleep at night. It really helped her behavior.

Now she is 4.5, and hasn't napped regularly for a long time... But when she starts feeling like she is tired she will go to her room and take a nap 100% on her own... Which is awesome, because then Mommy gets a nap too. ;)

At some point when our daughter would fight nap, I told her she had to stay in her bed, but she could look at books quietly. This worked like a charm.

I would play soft music and made the room dim.. Many times she fell asleep, Sometimes she built a nest on the floor and fell asleep. At least I had some quiet time.

Once she was in school, during school breaks or holidays, I would tell her I needed to rest or have a nap, so she would need to read to me! Worked great. She was practicing her reading and I got a nap, many times, she also would pass out.

The only thing I can offer is that you both lie down together for a mini-nap now. She will lay down if you're with her right? After she's asleep you can get up...or not... :) She's at that age that she really doesn't need it but she will be cranky at night without it. Tough time...

You gave in this time and let her watch tv, be prepared for next time to be an even bigger and longer battle, she has learned she can get what she wants if she just holds out long enough.

Just keep putting her down for a nap. If you don't they'll start having trouble with her at child care. Then when she starts causing issues there they'll be calling you to take off work and come get her.

SO please, try to keep to the same schedule for nap time as they do. It's important that you go sit with her, rub her back, tell her it's time to rest, and do not give in to her. She will be required to lay down for naps at child care until she is in kindergarten. Child care regulations require kids take naps or lay down for rest time until they start full time school. If she's out of school and in Pre-K they'll still make her lay down too.

So your keeping her napping at home is vital to her body staying with this habit.

I do think that you could find out from the teachers what they do at nap time, if she lays right down, do they have to work with her to sleep, what do they do with kids that are not going to sleep right away. This will help you to be consistent with their habits and methods.

I hear you. That's why wine was invented!

The transition is so hard, and after the novelty of the first day or so in the new bed, they realize it's every day now, and they freak out. DId you try putting the side rail of the crib down so she didn't need to climb over but it still provided just enough of a barrier so she can't roll out while asleep? Maybe it's too much trouble to put it back now that it's removed.

My stepdaughter had some inexpensive foam chairs for her kids. They say in them like typical easy chairs (kid-sized) but then the seat unfolded sort of like a convertible sofa, and it was an instant bed! Both her kids got in some much needed naps even in the family room because they had "chair time" and were told they didn't have to sleep but they did have to stay in the chair. The special blanket or stuffed animal just happened to be in it. Maybe you could try that in her room for reading books or quiet time, but then she would find it amazingly awesome to sit in it unfolded too, and then she would fall asleep?

My kid was a climber and we made sure to bolt the dresser and bookshelf to the wall for just that reason. He napped for 3 hours well past the age of 4 - not trying to make you feel bad (!) but just saying that he really needed nap time. Not every kid does. But we did lock him in without the hazard of a locking door knob. You could put the key on top of the door jamb but it still keeps you out and doesn't keep her in. We put a childproof doorknob cover on the inside of the door so he couldn't get out and after a few minutes of banging he gave up and went on to do other things. We had a simple gate hook on the outside of the door so we could get in instantly and so there was no hazardous condition.

Good luck. This stinks I know.

Both my strong willed, defiant and determined lil girls said f×&# the nap by 2 1/2. It took a few weeks to adjust but I just rolled with it and it made life much easier for everyone.
Good luck though, it really is a rough stage

My girls never napped after we took them out of there cribs but they'd still nap at daycare....grrr. Son was different but basically they all stopped napping between 2.5 and 3

I know it's a vent but if you want to think about advice....Many kids are done with naps by 2.5 -- yes, even if they need them. Consider adjusting her nighttime sleep routines so she goes to bed earlier. Yep, it's work and takes time and effort, but it has to be done at some point.

It's a good sign if she slept in a regular bed that one night, but be prepared; there may be many other nights when she gets up and down and up and down just because she can. Normal. Gettiing mad at her or fussing at her will not make her stop. What worked for us was that I started out sitting in the room with one hand lightly on her and not talking (at all! Don't interact) until she was asleep. After a while I could move to sit in the hallway outside her bedroom door with the door cracked so she could see I was there. (Got a lot of reading done, too.) Then I eventually would leave but only stay in the hallway about 10 minutes and leave while she was still a bit awake. That progressed to her just going to bed and my not having to be visible. It was gradual and I think that's why it stuck and wasn't full of drama. It can work but takes a lot of patience; however, it seemed to build confidence in our daughter that we were indeed there and not vanishing. It also is crucial not to talk or interact, and if a child gets up you guide her right back to bed with a hand on her shoulder but without speaking. You may have to do this multiple times in one night. But if you talk or scold, she sees it as interacting and it becomes a game to get your attention by getting up again. Make it all totally silent and boring so there is no payoff in her mind.

If she has a doorknob that can be locked from inside her room please remove that doorknob ASAP -- it's a safety hazard! If there is a fire or any other reason you need to rush to get to her, that doorknob is a danger to her. I'm glad it broke -- get rid of it now and get one that does not lock at all. You shouldn't be locking her in from the outside, either -- in a young kid's mind that's kind of like the adult is vanishing.

Regarding her supposedly great napping at day care -- either she's so tired there from play that she does nap (and you can't necessarily replicate that tiredness at home) OR she really isn't napping as much as they claim or as much as you think. She may be staying quietly on that mat but it doesn't mean she's conked out truly sleeping each day.

If you really want to try seeing if she'll nap on weekend at home, rather than giving up naps: It's possible she is just very used to the daycare routine and nap (or just lying down time) is part of that and accepted by her as the routine. Try to be sure she has a routine on weekends too, very set and structured and the same each day, and that the weekend nap is the same time of day as the daycare nap, etc. Have a naptime routine like you have a bedtime routine so you prepare her over a while for naptime coming like you'd prepare her for bed.

It's great that you removed the crib since she was climbing. So many parents don't get rid of the crib when kids climb, and instead rely on those crib "nets" that are a tangling hazard. My friend's daughter at age 2 climbed to the top rail of her (non-netted) crib and fell and broke her arm badly - it's a long way down for a small kid from the raised top rail of a crib!

i'm not saying it's wrong, but i have NEVER sat for an hour in a room with a tantrum-ing child. no audience from me.
and no option to lock me out. change that doorknob now.
stop nap time and implement quiet time. she can look at books if she wants, but that's it. she's young, but not impossibly young, to give up naps. why fight a war over it?
khairete
S.