My 3 year old twins get panicky (crying and sobbing) when they see costumed characters (Easter Bunny, Santa, ChuckE Cheese, etc).
Their preschool teacher thinks we should purposely start exposing them to costumed characters as frequently as we can, so they can "work thru this". I'm not so sure... isn't this normal for their age? Won't they grow out of it? Why rush them? Plus, I'm going to look like an evil mommy taking a screaming child to sit with a character..
Thoughts?
The reason the preschool teacher is pushing the issue is that they have costumed characters at their school from time to time, and she hates seeing them so scared, instead of having a good time like their friends....
Thanks for all the great responses! I'll see if I can stay with the girls when they have costumed characters at preschool in the future.
Maybe let them see a person who is inside the costume. Try to explain to them how is not really this huge thing..., it's a real person playing pretend. It might help if they already knew the person in the suit.
Maybe you could check with your local library to see if they have any characters making visits soon. My daughter when she was 3 was also terrified of anyone in costume until our storytime had one of the "wild things" from Where the Wild Things Are. They had it come out without the head so the kids could see that is was the librarian that always read their stories. After about 10 minutes of talking and letting the kids touch the costume she finally put the head on. My daughter hasn't been fearful since. It seemed to help her make the connection that is was really a person in a crazy outfit. Good luck!
As a preschool teacher, I have to say that your teacher is wrong for wanting to push the issue. She can easily comfort your child while the others enjoy the character. Out of the 9 in my class, only 3 were ok with the characters, I just kept the other 6 at a distance so they could see, but didn't feel forced to go up to the character.
Don't force the issue with your girls. There's no need. I hated Santa when I was a kid. There are no pictures of me with him, and I outgrew it just fine. Why force your kids to do something painful when there's really no gain to it? Let them have their space and when they're ready they'll run up to the characters!
I agree with all the other moms. Don't force the issue, and they will outgrow it on their own. I would suggest that if there is a character day at school, you could ask if you could go to school to help the teacher. That way, you could keep your twins at a distance, but reassure them. Eventually they will get comfortable.
I have a 3 year old boy who is afraid of the "villains" in any book.......also, odd noises in the house and various other things. This is a phase that he will grow out of. One day he WILL bug me to see the whole Jungle Book movie even though it has Shera Kahn and one day he WILL bug me to see the whole 101 Dalmatians even though Cruela DeVill is the "bad guy". In a few more years I won't be able to hold him back from Star Wars even though there was a time he would see a Darth Vader mask and burst into tears. I wonder about your preschool teacher's qualifications. It seems she wants your twins to assimilate into the whole rather than let them develop at their own pace. Do we as parents have to force the Easter Bunny onto these kids? Perhaps a trip to the park for a picnic would be better than Chuck E Cheese………
That's some of the most ridiculous advice I've ever heard! It's one thing for children to face their fears in essential areas of life. But the reality is that those costumed characters ARE creepy! All my children were petrified of them when they were little, so we just avoided them. They are not a necessary part of growing up. They are 14, almost 13 and almost 7 now and have outgrown the fear because they've become more rational, but at three years old, you are not rational. You as a parent are supposed to protect them. I'm sure their teacher means well, but they do NOT need to "work through this". They will grow out of it, though and will appreciate your loving protection in the mean time.
Perfectly normal! Please don't force the characters upon them. My sisters 6 year old daughter is just now at ease when around Chuck E Cheese. She was able to tell her it was a girl inside the costume dressed up, etc. and she understood that concept. Yours might be too young to quite understand that yet, but be patient and with time they will outgrow it too.
S.,
What a pickle! I can see both sides of this one - yes, it is normal and they will grow out of it, and yet I can see where the teacher wanting to help them through their fears.
I definitely think there are some steps you can take before sitting your twins with a "character" . . . what about finding out the preschool's next scheduled "character" and then helping them see the parts of the costume? For instance, if it is a visiting pirate, show them an eye patch one week, special clothes the next week, etc.
I might also suggest speaking with the preschool teacher and ask that there be an alternative provided for your children until they work through this. Maybe, the children could meet the character AFTER he/she is done with the show, dressed in normal dress, and talk about why they like to dress up in costumes (it's fun to pretend, it gets children to smile, etc.) Anything to normalize a scary situation would be great, just in really small steps. They are, after all, 3. If they react this way when they are 13, then I'd suggest getting some help, but in preschool? Nah . . . and any good preschool teacher will admit that your twins aren't the first to react this way, nor will they be the last.
Hang in there, and know that your children are fine just the way they are.
It's completely normal. My 2 youngest daughters were terrified of them so I never forced them to be around them. Chuck E. Cheese was a nightmare for them, they couldn't concentrate on the games because they were so afraid he would walk near them.
They grow out of it, it might take awhile but they eventually do.
I'm with you. I don't know that I would purposly expose them, however if you are out and you see a character I would try to make them feel safe and secure and talk about how that character is just a person dressed up like Halloween. Another tactic would be if they like Barny you can tell them how the characters are just like Barny. As for pre-school - you can either try to be there when they have characters, or just ask the staff to hold them and make them feel safe. Surly the character wouldn't force himself on the children that are not happy when he comes close! The preschool should make sure of that!
2 out of my 3 have been terrified of those also. I would never purposly scare my child just to make them learn to deal with it, and my oldest got over it on his own about the age of 4. I did one Santa picture with a screaming toddler and said never again!! My daughter is only 18 months, but is afraid so I just hold her and keep back. She does just fine if there is enough space between her and the character and she feels safe being held. My middle child was never afraid, but that is ok too.
My daughter, who is now 18, was terrified of costumed characters. She was terrified of Chuck E Cheese and even the cartoon characters at Six Flags. True story...she never went to see Santa until she was 10 years old and that was only because her much older brother and his girlfriend took her. She would not sit with him alone, so the only picture I have of her with Santa is with her brother by her side.
Today she laughs at herself, but to go back and do it again, I still would not force her to "meet" them. The only think she lost out on is we only one one picture of her with Santa.
