3 Yo Has Attitude Problem

You know, I've been having the same problems with my daughter,except she's 5 going on 6 and she deaf, she doesn't listen to me, it's frustrating, sometimes i let her get away with thing i shouldn't, but timeout doesn't work, i don't know what else to do.

P. - I'm not an expert, just a mom with a 2 1/2 year old son that thinks he is "boss" (ha). Yelling is only going to make matters worse, make him feel even more frustrated and upset. Yelling also teaches our children that that is the acceptable way to resolve conflict and respnod to others. It's never a good choice, but we all do it sometime. We need to be the calm in the storm. When children are upset, they are feeling fear or frustration or even hurt - it is our responsibility to show them that it is okay and things will be just fine (even without the candy they want! ha). It is hard, but it is the healthiest way to respond.

I wouldn't worry so much about his "attitude". Children at this age respond completely from emotion - that is why they throw tantrums or get upset when they can't have something. They have no logic and no sense of reasoning. He may feel scared about the new baby coming. He may feel frustrated that his daddy isn't there a lot. Or this just may be his time to "push the limits" to see how far he can go. Setting boundaries and expectations is the only thing you can do. He won't be like this forever and if you show consistency in what you expect, show him that he is loved and valued, then this phase will end sooner than you think. He needs to know that this isn't the way to get the attention he needs. When my son stops crying, that is when I hold him and get him what he needs. He is beginning to see this.

Suggestion: get eye to eye with him and calmly tell him that he is not behaving well and if he wants something (or wants mommy to do something) then he needs to be nice and calm. Keep repeating and don't give in. Send him in time out or in his room, but do it calmly and remember to always hug and kiss him in the end!

hope this helps.

Tell him you love him, both of you. If you are reprimanding him all the time and don't show him love and affection he's not going to like you. I know there's those times when you just lose it and go off on your kid, but as long as you try to keep it to a minimum. Sounds like your husbands needs to look for another job or ask to work less hours. It appears that it is affecting your child. Good luck!

My three (almost 4) year old is the exact same way. She was so sweet and polite but in the last few months has taken to yelling, saying "No, I won't!" or totally disregarding our requests, etc. It's very frustrating, but I am almost sure it is age appropriate behavior for a 3 almost 4 year old. Now that they can do things on their own, I think that makes them both proud and a little scared at not needing their parents quite so much. I think there is comfort in mommy always putting on my shoes. Anyway, tired definitely contributes to the mood, so ensure a good nights rest and naps if necessary. I'm hoping she gradually loses the billigerence and starts behaving like a kid instead of a little monster.

You need to talk to your son and ask him, why he is calling you jerks and does he even know what that means. where is he hearing that word to begin with? I don't know if you believe in spankings or not, but if my son was throwing a tantrum by yelling and screaming, i would go over there and give him 1 pop on his leg and then tell him, that is enough, and i will not put up with that. Maybe he needs to take a nap in the afternoon. maybe that would help, but if you don't get a handle on it now, you will be asking for trouble later.

I know how you feel. My six year old is doing the same. His attitude sucks. I just think he's learned to really express his frustrations and anger. We need to let them express themselves, but throwing things and saying ugly words aren't acceptable. I told him, if he wants to hit then find a pillow. Letting him explain to me why he's so angry also helps. Sometimes he just needs to be heard and his feelings validated. He has a lot of love and support and I'm sure your's does too. I'm sure it will pass. Oh yeah, I've noticed that when things are a bit crazy around the house or we've been doing alot in a short time, is when he tends to get this way. They need more calm around them. I know I need to lower my voice more. Yelling only makes it worse. I'll be praying for you!

This is very normal for 4 year olds to act like this. Although it is incredibly frustrating stick with your consequences consistently and he will give it up after a while. He is pushing his boundaries and needs some attention (the positive kind). Try playing a board game with him or taking him out on a date with mom (his favorite person at this age). Keep in mind at 4 years old, he will begin wanting a little independence and decision making but will also need a safety net. This is just a stepping stone to his next age, stick with him, hug him lots and you both will be fine. Good luck.

I don't believe in the terrible two's. It's the Terrible Three's! However I think that you would be on the tail end of that....It probably does have to do with the baby on the way. My eldest acted similarly when his brother was on the way but he was almost 3. I would suggest you read How to Get Your Kids to Mind Without Losing Yours. I t's an EXCELLENT book and I read it in two days! I was desperate! In the mean time: when he's giving you an attitude or having a fit I would send him to his room. If he's like my son he will come right back out. But I tell my son "this sort of behavior is unacceptable and you are disturbing the rest of the family. You can have your fit in your room. When you are done you can join the rest of us." I have had to hold the door shut until my child calmed down. As soon as he sounds calm I open the door and ask him to join us but as SOON as he acts ugly again I put him right back in. I'm not beyond spanking either but at this age it does not seem very effective all the time.

Looks like the "terrible twos" came a little late. He is starting to push the limits and develop a will. He wants to see how far he can go. He might also be a little jealous about the new baby (even though it is a while til it is born). As long as you have firmly set limits and follow through on the consequences to bad behavior, he will figure it out. As for talking to himself and calling y'all jerks, I remember doing the same thing. Let him know he can think whatever he wants, but once he says it out loud, it is a punishable offense.

I am reading a book "Raising Boys" by Dr Dobson. Is it wonderful. He says at this age they are trying to enter into their gender roles. They are trying to identify more with the male person in their lives when mom has been the most important thing up to this point. So he is having a hard time being a little more separate from you,maybe. I am not an expert, but I highly recommend the book. It is very insightful as far as emotional development is concerned. He loves you and doesn't know how to deal with his new urge to identify with his dad (who isn't there as much) Maybe your husband needs to have some personal time with just him. Good Luck. I will keep you in my prayers