3 Yr Old Having a Potty Training Regression

Updated on January 09, 2008
L.G. asks from Herriman, UT
8 answers

My 3 year old son potty trained fairly easily about 4 months ago. Over the last month he has completely gone back to having 3 or more accidents a day. He doesn't even seem to care. When we remind him to go to the bathroom he says he doesn't have to and then 5 minutes later we are changing wet or soiled pants. What do I do?

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So What Happened?

Thank you everyone for your help. I have made him change and clean up himself and although he doesn't seem to mind it, I know he doesn't like to take the time to do it, so I'm sure that is helping. Also, your advise got me thinking about any changes that may be causing him to try to get attention and I realized that it started right around the time his sister went off-track for a whole month. Now she is back to school and it seems to be getting a lot better. When he does have an accident it is usually in the evening when he's not getting as much attention or when he's playing with her. I think it could be any or all of these things but I will just keep plugging away and hopefully all your adivse will get us through this. Thanks again!

More Answers

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M.D.

answers from Omaha on

My daughter went through a similar phase due to a move. We talked about it a couple of times and then I tried to just give her some space. I also raised the rewards and praise for using the potty. From what I understand, it's pretty normal. I know it's frustrating though, take a deep breath:)

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S.W.

answers from Boise on

Our son did really well potty training at age 3 1/2 then regressed. Someone suggested to me to drop the training altogether and he'll let you know when it's time. Reluctantly we did and sure enough, when he was ready we were done with diapers. Hope this helps. You are not alone.

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K.G.

answers from Provo on

I have read that babies and young children that are still developing, may have times of regression. He may be going through a period of growth physically or mentally, and this is causing him to regress in the potty training area. I also have read that you just need to give it time, and he will get himself back on track. Just be patient and supportive.

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S.P.

answers from Provo on

Boy, I've been there before!! And, funny enough, my husband was traveling as well. I read every book, talked to DRs, asked around, and the concensus (that did end up working) was to let it be. It was his way of having a say! That doesn't mean it's totally fine for him to add all this etra work and trouble for you. Not at all. And when he did need my help, I always had him help me do something else after to help make up time, in a sense. He didn't seem malicious at all, just non-chalant and la-dee-da about the whole thing. Every morning, I would (very cheerfully) ask him if it was a diappy or undy day. The days that HE chose completely on his own he was just fine. The days I encouraged underwear, he always had his accidents. There were some eceptions, but overall, this is how it worked. We were also very careful not to attach negativity to wet pants at all. He was in charge of "fiing" the situation (changing pants, using dienfectant wipes to clean up, bringing down sheets, etc). I (again, cheerfully) made it lots more work to have an accident than to just run in. When he did wet his pants, he lost the option and had to have a pull-up(diapy). He didn't always act like he cared, but I think he did. The other thing I heard over and over is that the physical negative responses (spanking) will definately make the situation worse. I know every kid is different, and every family is different, and being a part-time single Mom, you have to do what you can, but that's what worked for us. Oh, he does still occasionally wet the bed at night, but his DR has already told us there is a small bladder and sleep pattern issue, and to epect that. Good luck!!!!

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J.O.

answers from Boise on

Nicole hit it pretty good, one thing I would like to add is that most children do regress at some point. The less you make of the accident the less enjoyable it becomes from them negative attention is just as good as positive, make him responsible and it won't seem as "fun".

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J.G.

answers from Lincoln on

Laura,
My question for you is? "Why are YOU still changing his soiled clothing?" One thing that I am a big fan of is making them be responsible for their accidents. You never want to get upset when the accident happens, but they need to remove their clothes with as much limited help as possible and put on dry ones. They usually are not happy having to do this. This many times will help them realize that it is much easier to stop and use the potty then have to change their clothes.
The other thing I would ask you is," Has anthing changed in your daily routine at home?" This happened with several children I have cared for. It usually was triggered by something that was going on at home. A change either small or little that has effected their daily life. You may want to try and find the trigger point and that may help resolve the issue also. He may be doing it to get some additional attention. By you helping him change his clothes each time it happens he is getting the extra attention he is wanting.
Just a few thoughts. Good Luck.

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N.W.

answers from Davenport on

Stop making it "your problem"... meaning it is his responsibility to use the potty, so it should be his responsiblity to clean up his mess if he doesn't want to use the potty! It doesn't last long when Mom stops taking care of it. This is assuming he doesn't have a bladder infection or anything and it is truley just him being "lazy". You have to quit making a big deal about it and make it his problem. I trhink it's fine to remind him, but if he doesn't go make him change and clean himself up. If this approach doesn't work I wouldn't give him any option aabout going and just take him in and sit him down and tell him since he is peeing his pants he doesn't get to choose any longer, and when he starts to pee in the big boy potty and not his pants you won't have to take him anymore!

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D.D.

answers from Rapid City on

Laura, I have a 3 year old son, and he went through a regression period as well. So, I made a chart and bought some stickers. And everytime he went potty (pee or poop), he got to put a sticker on the chart. Then I explained that when the chart was full, I would give him $5.00 and let him buy something at the store. It worked great for us. He has stopped having accidents all together. We made a chart of 20 squares three times, and now he just does it. So, if you are still struggling, it might be worth a shot!

D.

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