3Yr Old Will Not Stay in Her Room All Night. *Yawn*

I have you tried leaving the bedroom door open and a night light and also some soft music in there with her. Maybe buy her a dog to sleep with her too..

Hi K. -
We had this same problem with our daughter. She slept with us when she was sick for a week and then did not want to go back to her own bed. We can't let her sleep in our bed, because she wiggles and kicks all night, so we let her sleep on the floor, which we thought she'd get tired of, but no such luck. She came in EVERY night and woke me up several times asking for permission to sleep in our room. I spent two weeks trying everything I could think of to get her back in her own bed (and waking up the whole house in the process).
I was tired of fighting with her every night, so in desperation, I talked to some other Moms. I found out that many of them have a mat in their room or a blanket for exactly the same reason. So, I just told my daughter that she could come in and sleep in our room, but that she was not allowed to wake us up. We put a special pillow and blanket under our bed and she was allowed to just pull it out and go back to sleep.
Now comes the good part! After several weeks of sleeping on the floor, I got creative. We sat down together and made a chart of 30 days. We marked every other day with an "X" or a Heart. I told her that the "X" days were when she could sleep in our room and the "Heart" days were when she would sleep in her own, beautiful room (making Mommy happy - thus, the heart!) She got to color over one square on the chart each night before she went to bed.
Well, this worked great for a couple of nights, and then she started whining to be allowed to sleep in our room on the "Heart" days. So, I started thinking, how could I avoid these struggles everynight? Love and Logic class taught me to let your child make choices to feel in charge of her life. So, I told her that she was allowed to CHOOSE where she slept each night. She had to color over the square matching her choice. And, I warned her everynight that after all the "X" nights were gone, then she was going to have to sleep in her room on all the "Heart" nights that were left.
She still chose to sleep in our room every night for 2 straight weeks. But, then, the magic happened! She ran out of "X" nights! She tried to tell me that the chart was finished and she needed to throw it away and make a new one! ha! ha! I told her that the chart was not finished until she had colored in every one of the squares. So, she colored in a "Heart" square and that night started sleeping in her own room! I reminded her for each night that after all the "Heart" days were over that she would be able to make a new chart with "X" nights to sleep in Mommy's room. But, we never got that far! She slept in her room every "Heart" night and, in just over a week, forgot all about the chart! Problem solved!
Now she's back sleeping in her own room unless there is thunder or she has a bad dream. And, then, she has her special blanket and pillow waiting for her, while Mommy gets a good night's sleep!
Hope this helps!!

As a mother of six, with 3 of them still in our room(they each have their own bed.) I know how frustrating that can be. Speaking from a spiritual view, children can see into the spirit world and whether she is seeing angels or demons, this unseen world is very real. Her fears quite possibly could be real. Ask her what she is scared of. Her monsters are real to her. You are her safety and until she can sleep without seeing these monsters, this will not stop. If you go to church ask for prayer. Pray over her room and her bed. Who lives next door to you, above you or next to you? Pray that whoever lives near you that their spiritual practices do not affect your daughters. Something is scareing her. I encourage you to get a book called Spiritual Housecleaning by Alice and Eddie Smith. This helped me alot. My children now sleep peacefully. They are only in our room now because we need a bigger house. Using a mat for her is worth your sleep, until you can figure out exaclty why her room and her bed scare her.
Good luck. God Bless.

Okay, I have a 3 year old daughter... she was doing the same thing a couple of months ago. It would take over an hour to put her to bed. She kept getting up, having to go potty, needing a drink, another stuffed animal or something. And in the middle of the night she'd do the same thing. She'd come in my room asking for something. I'd just get up and tuck her back in.

When I went in for her check up I asked my pediatrician if this was normal behavior for this age. She said that it was, and asked if I give her any kind of attention when she gets up and if I go in to tuck her back in. OF COURSE I did! She blatently said "you might as well pay her to get up!" Now, my pediatrician is quite blunt, sometimes I appreciate it and sometimes... not so much. She recommended I tell my daughter to go back to bed (using a stern voice), she says "she got out of bed she can get herself back in." To my suprise, after the first couple of times (there was quite a bit of crying the first few times) we have had success! So for months now she's stayed in bed through the night. Bedtime can still be a challenge but if she gets up it's usually only once.

Sharing a room may definitely bring more challenge in the beginning, but I really think that if you can follow through it'll mean more peace in the future. Good luck!

I am feeling much better now since my soon to be 3 year old has been doing the same thing. We put a baby gate in front of her door it did help for a little while until she started climbing over the gate. She does not do it evey night, but at least 3 nights a week. My husband or I just take her right back to her bed and explain to her that she cannot sleep with us. We also tell her if she sleeps in her own bed all week long without getting up durning the night then on Sat. night she can sleep with us. Usually she will get to sleep with us twice a month and that seems to help it might be worth a try. Best of luck!

K., I like the idea one mom had about a calendar.

We did something similar, but tweaked. My son shares a room with his brother. We were having trouble getting him to go to sleep quietly. He really wanted his brother in there with him. We showed him a calendar and told him that once he had 3 "good nights" where he went to bed with no problems and didn't get out of bed then his brother would return to their room (In the mean time he slept with his big sister). This really motivated him. Maybe you could do something similar, like "2 good nights in your room and you can sleep on a mat in mommy's room. But you have to stay on the mat. If you get up, it's back to your room and you'll need 2 more good nights to come back to mommy's room". I know, it's not getting her back to her room 100% but it's a start. You could lengthen the number of nights every month or so. Good luck!

Girl...I SOOOOOO understand. I have 4 yo and 5 yo boys. They share a room, and we have tried EVERYTHING. One of them seemed to end up in our room every night. I did the mat beside the bed and they LOVED that....that back fired, I did'nt want them to love it! They just wanted to be close to us.... So, next I but up a baby gate to our room. They could see us, but not get too close and they could sleep on the floor outside of our room. Well, that worked better. They were so mad not to be able to get in our room...and then they slowly stared staying in their room b/c they could not get what they want. The first few nights were hard, lots of crying and screaming, BUT I was not going to let them in the room...and slowly they started staying all night in their own room. The key is to have a plan and stick with it! It may take several days even a week, but don't give up...our boys sleep in their own beds all night long now...good luck

Oh man I totally get it. I think I did not sleep for like 4 years straight, I take benedryl every night now just to get rest and make sure I stay asleep, its bad. My now 7 year old, spent three years form 1-4 in our room. He still comes down on an occasion. We got that toddler bed from walmart like 35 bucks till he just outgrew it. Some kids just are scared to be alone in thier rooms, do you remember feeling scared in your room when you were little and looking at the closet and being frozen in bed scared? I do. It is a horrible feeling. Anyhow, we were in an apartment while our house was being finished and I put them both in those walmart toddler beds, that is all that would fit in that room, and they did fine. Then we moved in and they both went into thier own rooms. My husband never got up at night with them either. I know it is hard but some people say hey, make them sleep in thier rooms, I say do what ever you can to get some rest, and if it is putting her in a small bed to go night night in your room for a little while then who cares. At least everyone is sleeping. Also make sure you watch and be careful of what she watches on TV about two hours before bed time. I still have to do that with my 7 and 4 year olds or they have bed dreams. TV sticks in thier heads for a long time at night depending on what they watch. Good luck and I hope that you finally get some rest!

Hi K.,
Been there...still there...I have a 3 & 4 year old. Pretty much, from everything I have read and experienced, you're going to have to take a stern stance to get her to stop. So, in light of that and seeing as I can't bare the thought of being stern with them over something like this, I came up with another option that gets us all some sleep. (Oh, and I'm not into letting the kids rule the roost 24/7, I'm all about discipline, it's just with nighttime sleep issues I'd rather be into comforting my girls than making them abide by "rules"...does that make sense?) So we got a queen bed in my three year old's bedroom, and on the nights they wake up and come into our room, I take them back to the queen bed and we all finish out the rest of the night there...they sleep, I sleep, and even my hubby sleeps better because I'm not there snoring in his ear! Hahaha!

I think you've gotten some great advice from other moms too...you'll just have to find out what you're comfortable with doing. It is a phase and they do outgrow it eventually (we have an older daughter to attest to that)...I just try to love on them and appreciate that they still need me... :) They grow so fast!

Blessings to you!
Hope you get some sleep soon.
K. :)

One mom responded that she keeps a sleeping bag beneath her bed and she will get it out for her child when they can't sleep. How about going one step further? Explain to your child that you need your sleep or you turn into grumpy mom. So if she can't sleep, she can come down to your room and without waking you or your husband up, get the mat/sleeping bag and go to sleep on the floor. But if she wakes either of you up, she has to go to her room.

My daughter, who turned 3 in March, has been doing the same thing. Must be age... Luckily she has her own room. Overnight has gotten better lately- just with consistency of putting her back in her room, rubbing her back, etc. I have to admit that I have just sat in there until she falls back to sleep a few times and also told her just to get up and play quietly one night b/c she was up and down for like 2 hours! I said mommy is going to bed, I'm sleepy - you play if you want to! :) Her new thing is coming downstairs by herself in the morning - but...its at 6:30am! She used to lay in bed until 7:30-8!! I am hoping this will soon pass too!
We did make a bottle of 'magic spray' (didnt want 'monster' spray b/c I felt that was admitting they existed) that we spray and say "good thoughts and happy dreams" or something like that. It has helped a little bit.
My older daughter went through the exact same thing - I think their imaginations are just getting more vivid and that leads to thoughts which can sometimes be scary!
Good luck! Hopefully we will both be getting more sleep soon!