4 Y/o Girl with Stranger Anxiety

Hopefully you aren't calling her shy in front of her as this enables the behavior. She may begin to call herself shy when she really isnt.

Stranger danger? What are you trying to prevent? Perhaps she may feel overwhelmed and unsure of what that really intends at this time. You may want to start with building her self confidence at times that she does display it and lay off anything negative such as strangers, or go play with the other kids (when she doesnt want to) etc.

She's still little, I wouldnt worry so much.

It is really a judgement call for you T.. I had one who was so shy and anxious around strangers that it was effecting her life. She could not do anything, and there were other elelments of OCD and anxiety. She had been like that since she was a baby. When she could not manage to get on the bus to go to Kindergarten, we saw a child psychiatrist who treated her. It was night and day, and I am convinced that this was completly chemical. I so wish I had helped her sooner. She, like yours, was a very pretty child, with huge blue eyes and everyone talked to her, once, in the grocery store, a man smiled at ther and told her that she was a cuite, as we walked in, and she was still crying when we got to frozen foods, she had just stopped as we got to the check out, when that same man talked to her again, saying "was I really that bad?" and it started all over again. I wanted to buy her a button to wear that said, " Yes, I am afraid of you, so please don't talk to me!"

When the child is misserable, and when it truly effects their lives, then it is time to seek help. Only you can make that call.

M.

I can totally understand your frustration, but don't look at her behavior as rude but just her personality. My daughter is the same way and although it can be frustrating at times you just have to accept them for who they are. When my daughter is approached by strangers I will try to get her to answer if she won't I answer for her. I am always friendly with people in hopes that she will see its not such a scary thing. And my daughter totally hides for quite some time when walking into a new party. I've found being one of the first to arrive helps a little versus walking into a full party with lots of guests. Even if we are early though, she takes time to open up. I allow her to do that and also have explained that to people. But once at a party and she gets going, she will talk to almost anyone. Give her time and let her open up in her own time. Everyone grows out of it at some point.

Hi T. it sounds to me like you are a loving family, and honestly with the world where it is today, i would rather have a child leary about strangers, than like my 4 year old in my daycare, she will take to anyone, any where and she has no fear of strangers at all. he mom has brought different men around her for the last 3 years, women as well, and it scares me to see how friendly she is. your daughter will come around when she feels safe and good about, so i wouldn't worry to much, she's actually safer than my little daycare 4 year old. J.

"Stranger danger" is teaching a lot of kids to fear people. Teaching "stranger danger" to kids that young is too hard. It is your job to watch her and make sure no one takes her, not her job to make sure she stays away from dangerous strangers. I can't imagine what goes through little minds. Back off of the "stranger danger" until she is a bit older and you are letting her off on her own. She needs to know who she can go to just in case she does get lost in a store, like another mom with kids.