4 Year Old Grandson Exploring Himself Sexually

Hi T.,

It is perfectly normal for a 4 year old child of any sex to question the differences between girls and boys. At this age, children realize there is a difference, and just like understanding why horses and zebras are different, children want to know why boys and girls are different.

Do not punish or shame your grandchildren, but use books and age appropriate discussions to help your child understand the difference.

If you grandchildren masterbate, which may happen, again, do not shame or punish, because at this age it is not sexual, but just feels good. Send them to their room or bathroom, explaining that it is a private act, like using the potty.

I hope this helps!

R. Magby

It isn't abnormal. Kids start to become aware of their bodies at a young age (2 to 3) but have no context of what it means. Now is a good time to have a talk about what is private and what is inapropriate (for him to do or for others to do to him). this needs to be done calmly like any other lesson we give our kids.

They are just exploring...don't let adult thinking pervert their actions. Encourage him to do it in private. All boys seem to enjoy exploring themselves. What you walked in and saw was just a 'show and tell'...I have something hanging and you (grandaughter does not), can I see it?

Well kids are curious but I would explain that is not apporiate behavior in public. If he needs to touch his private area do so in the bathroom when no one else is around.
He might be wondering if boys and girls are different. Don't give him an adult explaination just a quick kid answer.
Also there is no reason for them to keep the door closed while playing I think its asking for problems.

The phallic stage is the third stage of Freud’s stages of psychosexual development, lasting from age three years to six years. According to Freud, the genitals are the primary erogenous zone and pleasure is derived from genital stimulation. The primary conflict at this stage is a desire to possess the opposite-sex parent. Completion of this stage results in identifying with the same-sex parent.

http://psychology.about.com/od/theoriesofpersonality/ss/p...

Normal. Just checking each other out. Only weird if adults make it weird.
Good time to talk to the 4 yo about "private parts" being the parts that go in a bathing suit, etc. No O. touches your private parts except mom, dad, grandma, doctor, etc.

T., "exploring himself sexually" means that he is masturbating, that he is touching himself, which is fine as long as he does it in private. Having a 2 year old take her pullup off is not exploring himself and is not acceptable. Time for his mom or dad to have a discussion with him about private parts, yours and other people's, and what is and is not appropriate.

What exactly do you mean by pull up off? While sexual exploration and exploration of body parts is perfectly normal, if a two year old is touching the opposite sex and already knows exactly what to do there is some reason for concern (and I speak from experience, not just paranoia). Chances are it's nothing, however I would still ask both of them (in a very casual way) if anyone ever touches them in their private area. One sign of a molested child is that they "seduce" other kidcs b/c they want to show them what they know. That's. A sign that's often ignored b/c it's looked at as kids exploring and kids being kids. But, it's very important to have regular questioning to make sure that things are just for exploratory purposes and to talk to the kids about privacy od their bodies. Just make sure it's in a comfortable way that they aren't afraid or ashamed to talk to you about it.