4 Year Old Says "NO" to Another Baby!

Updated on June 06, 2007
T.H. asks from Valrico, FL
5 answers

My husband desperately wants another child in the next couple of years. I had a terrible pregnancy the first time around, so, I am not really looking forward to this subject, but...my 4 year old daughter absolutely DOES NOT want another baby in the house. She doesn't like when our friends and family have their babies around, etc. She is fine around children her own age, just not babies. Any suggestions? Is this something that some 4 year old-ish children go through? Thanks in advance for your help!

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R.C.

answers from Tampa on

Story for thought.
My little sister was born 5/12 years after me. I don't remember my parents asking for my permission to do this. I'm sure I would have had the same answer as your daughter "NO!". I was the first child after two miscarriages as well as the first grandchild. Can we say spoiled. However my parents did have another baby (my sister) and when they brought her home from the hospital they thought it would be cute to bring me a Happy meal. However they took the toy out of the box. Like all kids I skipped right over the fries and burger and went looking for the toy. No toy- my mom then showed me my sister and told me she was the toy. My response to that was "Can I get a different one?". That was 29 years ago, and not that there aren't times I still wish I could have gotten "a different one", my sister is my best friend and am so glad my parents gave me this lifelong "toy".

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R.F.

answers from Tampa on

Pardon me, but I think this is a "no-brainer".
You and your husband need to make the decision on whether or not another baby is right for your family, not your 4 year old. If your husband desperately wants another one, I think you need to take that to heart. And remember, not every pregnancy is alike. Just because you had a rough time with the first one, doesn't mean that's bound to happen again. As far as your daughter is concerned, it will definitely be an adjustment to begin with. She might be jealous or mad at the baby at first for taking attention away from her, but should out grow this. It is completely normal. She will be okay, and in the long run, she will have a brother or sister for life! What a gift!

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F.S.

answers from Tampa on

I totally agree with Rebecca. A 4 year old doesn't need to be in the decision making process. She will get used to it and realise the blessing when she is older.

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E.K.

answers from Fort Walton Beach on

Have you talked to your child about the good things about being an older sister? Like how the new child will look up to your daughter and want to be just like her. Also explain that with a new baby around there will definitely have to be times that are set aside for just your daughter and you or your daughter and your husband. You have to make sure she understands that she's not going to lose her parents love or attention.

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J.G.

answers from Jacksonville on

As a teacher, you and husband are the parents and your daughter is the child. You should be the one making decisions and not letting her tell you what to do. Is the subject difficult for her? Yes b/c she is use to being the only child and if another baby comes along, she will have share to you. It is our job as parents to teach our children about life and change and teach them how to deal with life and change.

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