4 Year Old Separation Anxiety

At age four there is often another separation anxiety for some kids. Also girls this age get very attached to their daddies. It is a phase and it will pass. The cure is just to live through it. I know that doesn't help much.

Maybe she can begin to draw daddy a diary of her day when he leaves to help that separation anxiety. Start the minute she begins to cry to take her mind off the crying.

Or have her choose the books that she wants daddy to read her that night the minute she begins to cry.

Or say to her, okay you can cry for 5 minutes, and then set the timer. When it goes off, say okay, times up! no more crying! And then start the diary.

The thing is to get her busy and get her mind off the leaving and onto something else.

You are about to have another baby... this is probably a bigger trigger than you realize to older children's behaviors. Just because her behavior isn't showing up as baby related, it probably is. She maybe attaching herself to daddy so she doesn't have to feel sad when your time is taken up with a new baby, she probably also senses that you are becoming preoccupied with baby things and is finding a sure way to grab your attention. This is so so normal for behaviors (really annoying ones) to crop up BEFORE the new baby arrives. I would try to give her one on one time and reassure her how much mommy loves her and is so excited to introduce her new sibling to her. Be very matter of fact when talking about daddy and don't drag out conversations with her about him. "yes, daddy went to work. He'll be home for dinner. Come on, let's go do a puzzle." then go do the puzzle, either with her or alone - if you start an activity and just leave her crying alone where she stands she might quiet down and join you... maybe. Sometimes sending her to her room might be the only answer, so you can both take a breather and de-stress :) Good luck to you, and be reassured that this is a phase and will pass like all the others!

Wow that's a tough one. She's at the age where she understands daddy leaves, daddy comes back but maybe because somedays he goes to work then comes home at night.........versus leaves then is gone for days. Only thing you can do is explain to her that "daddy is leaving and won't be home for a couple of days"......can she send him a picture to his phone, call him when he's away or have him call when she is about to go to sleep? Maybe things like that. Have her give him something of hers that he can bring on his trip. A doll, toy, etc...Only other thing is make sure he spends some time with just her when he is home because right now she is really into daddy and it is important to her. Good luck...I'm sure it is just a phase. Girls are so close to their daddies.

Maybe channel this into something positive. For instance, when she gets upset and wants daddy, say, "Let's draw daddy a really pretty picture so he knows how much you miss him." Then, she's focused on a task. I do this after we visit grandparents and our four-year-old talks of missing them and it really works with her.

Good luck!

I would suggest showing her a digital clock (like on your microwave or stove) that is located where she can see it. Explain to her what happens at each time, and draw her a little chart.
Here is how I did it for my 4 year old...

I taped a piece of paper over the minutes, so only the hour is showing. I wrote a big number 8 (make the numbers look kind of digital) with a picture of breakfast and a briefcase. At 8, we eat breakfast and daddy goes to work. Make sure you write every number so she can always refer to the chart. 9 means tv time, 10 means play time, 11 means play time, 12 means lunch time...3 means snack time, 4 means daddy comes home, 5 means dinner, 6 means play time with daddy...8 means bedtime. My son was able to grasp the idea very quickly once he had the chart next to the clock. It is very important to cover the other numbers though because my son would often get upset that it would be like 1:30, so he saw a 3, but I wouldn't let him have snack.

Knowing what to expect next, and being able to "see" how much longer really helps.