5 Mo Son Will Not Take Naps

I'm guessing that there are two different situations going on that don't have anything to do with the other. I think the sleeping through the night is coincidental. My son behaved the same way for two reasons...1st was teething...when he doesn't feel good, no one gets to feel good...he get's clingy and needy and 2nd he started the "stranger anxiety" phase which has less to do with fear of the stranger and more to do with the fear that he might "lose" you. Babies realize that they are not permanently attached to you and become afraid that you might go away. Hope it helps

My daughter is almost 8 months old and has been doing the same thing. She sleeps great at night, but has been giving me some trouble when I lay her down during the day, or if I leave her to play on the floor. She just cries and cries. My suspicion with her is that she is teething. I think she's a little fussy and out of sorts. For her naps, I just try to let her cry it out for up to 10 minutes. If she is not done by then and the crying has gotten worse, then I go get her and decide she's just not ready to go down. But I have really just had to let her cry more than she normally does. It's not usually for more than about 5 minutes, though. I will admit that I have done quite a few jobs around the house with her on my hip, but I still consistently try to put her down and leave the room. If she's not crying for a "real" reason, then she usually stops when I am out of sight and she starts playing with her toys. I don't know if this helps or not, but good luck! I think if you don't let him cry at least a little, he's going to start a habit and get off of his schedule and you'll never get anything done!

i used to use the stroller. when i had chores i just put him in it and walked from room to room with them. that way they knew i was there, they could see me and i still could do my housework.

The only way that worked for me was let them scream. When he's not napping and you need to get some work done, put him donw with a toy near the room where you will be. Every time you leave the room, tell him you'll be right back, and every time you come back tell him here I am! Talk to him when your not holding him so that he can be soothed by your voice. Now this isn't going to work the first time but He'll soon learn that even though he can't see you or be held by you that you're still there and you'll be back to hold him soon. As far as the sleeping goes I just let my son cry. I would go check on him about every ten minutes or so to make sure he hasn't gotten caught in the bedrails or blankets, but I wouldn't pick him up until naptime was over. I love the book called Babywise. It was my saving grace. It's still hard work to get them into a routine but at least the teachings in the book gave me the confindence I needed to know that I was doing the right thing. Hope this helps!

It seems like something really changes with their sleep at about 5 months. So much depends on finding the right timing as far as naps go at that age, so you may need to try out a couple different nap times until you figure out when he's calmest and can fall asleep the easiest. I know, easier said than done. I usually start the nap routine about an hour and a half after whenever mine wakes up in the morning and then again at about 1:00.

Dear A.,
that must be so tiring for you!
But, helas, these phases never last very long. I carried my kids in a "bundler" on my body most of the time, until they were about 9 months old. That might be worth a try.
Most important though: can you stay in a place of compassion for him in those moments, and actually bring your attention to him rather then to your thoughts of - whatever - how worried you are he is not letting you off the hook or so forth? IYou could look at it as a form of "practice", in service to another being. You might be surprised to see his behavior change very soon, because he feels you are not abandonning him, and he does not need to scream any more....
wishing you good luck and so many blessings, for your thoughtful efforts and all the care you give to him!
from A., mother of 2 daughters and 2 stepdaughters, makes 4 teenagers, makes occasionally 8 kids......

Hi A.,

I had the same exact problem with my little girl starting at around 3 months of age. She would not let me lay her down to take a nap she would sleep on me just fine. I tried the cry it out thing but since she is my first child I had a really hard time doing that because she would scream for hours. One day I tried for four hours to get her down for a nap and she slept for a total of 30 min.

I finally started letting her sleep on me to get her to nap. I wished I would have known about the book "Good night Sleep Tight" It would have helped a lot. It is a great book. I just bought the book not to long ago because I am still having issues with my child sleeping, but she is taking regular naps now in her own room and bed. She is 15 months old. We are now working on sleeping through the night.

My advice is to keep trying different things but definately try to get her trained early before she gets the age of my child because I wished I would have found help a little sooner then I might not have had the battles that I have now especially since she is running around. Hang in there.

Also I used to put my child in a saucer first then when she was a little older a walker and carted her from room to room with me to get things done. Now that she is mobile she has started playing on her own and even goes into her room to play by herself. Hope some of this helped.

Hi A.!

He's probably beginning his stage of "separation anxiety." When he can't see you, he thinks you're gone and not coming back. It's a normal stage all healthily attached babies go through. That means you've been a loving, attentive mommy to him. Congrats!

Both of my kids have struggled with naps also. A book I found really helpful is called "Good Night, Sleep Tight" by Kim West. Her books teach you about the science of sleep and show you how to gently teach your child to sleep.

Best of luck to you!
J.

Hi A.,

I experienced this with both of my daughters. I found that if I just laid them down that yes they would scream and scream but after about two or three days of a two hour scream fest they conceded and now take naps every day with no fuss at all. I would put them down and then if they would get absolutely nuts I would go in and pat them on the back for just a second but not pick them up. Then leave. I did that the first two days then from then on I just left them in there for two hours no matter what. He needs a nap he just needs alittle structure probably. And with the setting him down he is prolly going through alittle separation anxiety. Just keep setting him down though for 5 or 10 minutes here and there and he will learn that you will come back. Hang in there it is tough but it will get better. :)

K.

Hi, A., your letter takes me back to my first child, who at that age would not leave my side as long as I was home ( I worked and he went to day care) I basically carried him in a baby backpack until he was walking! He would only nap if I took one with him. I nursed him until 2 1/2, at which time he transitioned to his own bed. After that time, my son was independant, self entertaining, and easily left me for other activities. I believe some children have an increased need for physical contact with their mothers at an early age, and if honored, this will resolve when they are ready. Hope this helps! Best of luck, C..

My babies went through periods of needing extra assurance from mom, if you want them secure go with it. They also adjust their nap times too, so be ready to adapt. My eldest quit naps altogether before 2, but would sleep wonderfully from 7pm to 7am.

Hi Allison,

I feel for you...hang in there and try to keep some type of nap schedule as it is such an important part of development. I went through some real nap battles with my first and was able to do some things differently with the second two based on the trial and error process.

A few things that might help:
First, do you put your baby down to sleep prior to him being overly tired? Look to put down your little buy before he appears tired (a half hour before he needs sleep). For a five month old, that time probably falls 1.5 or 2 hours after his morning wake up time. that first nap is a continuation of his REM nightime sleep and the afternoon (2nd nap) is a more restorative-physical resting nap which should occur around 1-2pm depending on when he wakes up from his first nap. As for the crying...that is the hardest part. When i realized that I could attend to my child's needs (reassurance) but not necessarily his wants (get me out of crib and breastfeed all day!) I was able to cope better. Tracy Hogg wrote a great book called "The Baby Whisper Answers All Your Questions" and has many great ideas on baby-centered solutions for sleep issues. I highly reccomend it for more ideas--she goes into many ways on how to Teach your child to sleep; which sounds exactly what your little one needs right now. The last thing that helped is to remember that most sleep problems will resolve in 3-7 days; so a little frustration now will pay off in the long run.

Best of luck--hang in there; teaching your child to sleep is so important!

J. B. (mother of 3 boys!)

How many hours he is sleeping at night will effect his naps. Sleeping through the night at that age is only considered 5-6 hours. Then it is expected that they continue to sleep, but need a feeding. If he's sleeping 12 hours, let's say, he might not need that much nighttime sleep. I would recommend that you just make the room dark and calming (play music) and gently rock him. If he falls asleep, great, but you cant MAKE him sleep. Make it peaceful and nice, and he will probably sleep. It is honestly probably just a phase. I would buy a baby carrier (babyhawk is nice, as is a moby wrap or gypsy momma wrap) and just carry him around during the day. Let him be awake, but close so you can get work done too. I would also check this out:

www.askdrsears.com... there is a whole entire section on sleep that is really helpful
The Sleep Book by Dr. Sears
The No Cry Sleep Solution by Elizabeth Pantly

Good luck!

Also... your baby is not having "tantrums" and doing this to manipulate you. There is a reason. It is best to try to solve it gently.