5Yr Old Sneaking Food, Lying About It and Gaining Weight

Have you had her tested for any other types of "disorders"? I can't think of the name, but there is something that you can have that you don't ever have the feeling of "fullness" and are truly hungry most of the time. If she is hormone sensitive, it makes me wonder if there are other health issues going on. I would think if a 5yo ate a whole bag of chips it would make them sick. I would go to an endocrinologist, they deal with hormonal,metabolism type issues. Don't let it go without looking into more things, if there is something else going on you want to get it under control before the eating thing gets out of control. Goodluck

I think you need to speak to the ped and see what they suggest , there are some disorders where people eat all the time as they never feel full (not saying that is what she has). But it seems like she has some sort of obsession where she has to be eating , and although she is just well built at the moment and not fat , she could end up being overweight , and then you have the whole other issue of other kids picking on her for size.

I hope you work it out.

You need to find the right doctor. It sounds to me like the poor thing is starving. There has to be more going on. I understand you are frustrated, but do try not to get on her case. If it is a medical issue she can't help it. And if it is an emotional issue she probably can't help it either, but more.....eating can often be about control. So the more you get on her case the more she will want to retain control and eat to prove she has the ultimate control of this issue.

Start with the pediatrician but push for a specialist to check her. Possibly an endocrinologist. I think it is more likely something like that than emotional. Did something traumatic happen before this behavior began? I doubt it. Since she has a history of medical concerns in her growth patterns it just makes sense this is related.

If this were me I would try to Let her eat when she wants so she isn't sneaking, but help her to make healthy lo-cal choices. You don't want to encourage a closet eater........problems down the line would be very troublesome... eating disorders. I really don't think hard core discipline is the answer in situation.

It doesn't sound like "emotional eating" but it definitely sounds like something else is going on. I have a niece who would do the same thing and eat everything in sight, and still say she was hungry. They even "tested" her one day and let her eat anything she wanted at all, and she seriously never stopped. It's an actual disorder and really needs to be checked out by either her ped or I would suggest going to an alternative doctor, maybe a nature path or someone who handles things more naturally if you don't want her going on medication. Good luck!

advanced bone age...hormone sensitive??? What does that mean? Add on top of that uncontollable hunger! Something is going on with your 5 year old and it is not "emotionally eating" or lack of discipline. Has she been checked for diabetes, maybe thyroid problem.

All behaviors can be understood as strategies to meet needs. Needs exist on all sorts of levels; physical, emotional, spiritual; and some are immediate and urgent (like oxygen) while others are less so (like friendship). But all needs are legitimate. Some needs are easy to identify (like hunger and rest), and some are subtle and elusive (like love or security or privacy). And all needs are legitimate, though of course some appear more so than others.

So, looking at your problem objectively, it appears that your daughter's behavior of eating more than you think she needs, and even "stealing" food in her own home, is an attempt to meet needs that perhaps she can't even identify and understand. Before you do anything else, please talk to her pediatrician and be sure she doesn't have a metabolic disorder. Some serious illnesses (like diabetes) have hunger as a symptom.

And if this has been an issue in your family for more than a few weeks, I'd guess that your daughter is struggling with other emotional problems brought on by the issue itself. Self-esteem, insecurity, anger, disempowerment, resentment and fear all have a huge impact on many people's desire to eat either more or less than "normal."

I'm so glad you're asking this question, S.. It's a brave and loving thing to be so honest with all us mothers out here. The emotional urgency, frustration and anger you describe suggests to me that you may have some unresolved food or body image issues of your own, and it is all too possible to project our own stuff onto our children without ever guessing that this is happening. (In fact, it probably occurs to some degree in every parent/child relationship.)

May I tenderly suggest that you get some counseling with your daughter? My hope would be that she have a trained advocate who can gently help both of you to identify and describe what's driving her eating if it's not primarily metabolic. If this doesn't happen soon, I know from personal experience that she could end up with emotionally and physically damaging issues around food for the rest of her life.

Check into what might be causing this right away. Could this be a symptom of her advanced bone age. Take her to a pediatric psychologist talk to them about what is going on. Look at everything don't dismiss anything. Good luck! It could be anxiety also, some children eat others don't. Yes you have a stable family but she is 5 the smallest things to us can be the largest issue for them. Good luck!

Have your pediatrician recommend a good endocrinologist. She needs to have her hormones tested. Advanced bone age and hormone sensitivity could be the symptoms of Congenital Adrenal Hyperplasia. She sounds a lot like I was at that age. I have CAH but wasn't diagnosed until 21 and by then a lot of damage had been done to my body. If she does have a hormonal imbalance like CAH then they can treat it and the earlier they start the better off her life will be. Don't wait until she hits puberty at age 7 like I did or has so much damage done to her reproductive system that she can't have children.

S.:
It sounds like a very stressful situation for the whole family--I understand your frustration. It sounds like your daughter needs to be evaluated by a professional IMMEDIATELY. Please try to understand that these are behaviors that are alerting you to an underlying physiological problem--judging the behaviors and labeling her this early on could be very detrimental to her emotional health as she reaches adolescence. Often there is an underlying health problem that can lead to disordered eating when left untreated. And if disordered eating is left untreated it can result in a full blown eating disorder. I would contact the Coalition for Eating Disorders in Nashville and ask for a referral as soon as possible. And try to solace yourself by knowing that you are not at fault here. Your daughter just needs some help that is beyond the scope of mothering.

Hi S.,

This might be a really simplistic answer but have you asked her about? Is it possible that she is just hungry? I know with my daughter I feed her what I think is enough and she has to ask for more and sometimes i’m amazed at the amount she eats. I'm sure you've thought of that but i really felt I needed to ask. I was also wondering if she has a regular meal and snack routine so that she knows about how long it will be until the next time to eat. Also I wondered about what the ped. said about the weight gain, was she following her curve or was it out of wack with where she's been up until now? I have a tall for her age 4yo daughter and she is heavy according to the percentages but her height/weight curve is right on track. My 16mo is the same way he is the size of a med to large 2yo but always has been, for both of them the ped said we do not need to worry unless the curve starts getting "crazy". I didn't see where you mentioned what the ped said. As for the lying about it, when you first noticed the missing food were you angry when you asked everyone about it? If you were, then she may have simply thought you were mad at her so she lied and as the food continued to go missing you were more and more angry so she continued to do it, obviously not a good thing but even the best of kids do it sometimes. Also is it a control issue, food is one of the few things kids can truly control. Another thought is since you said you have a stable home life(congratulations seems unusual these days) she most likely doesn't see the two of you "discuss" things so if she did happen to see or overhear what she felt was a fight it might have had some effect in regards to the comment about reasons for emotional eating. When i know my child has overheard a "discussion" i make sure to go and talk to her about it, explaining that it is normal and health to do this and that the love is still there, just in words a 4yo would understand.

I was a large child and teen weighing 200lbs and only 5‘3”at HS graduation and I am just now at 30 beginning to get my weight under control. So the weight of my children and the affect of my childhood weight is always in the back of my mind. If you have already thought through and done the things that I asked about above then I would certainly agree with everyone else that there is a problem and to talk to your ped about a referral to the type of doctor you both believe is right for this problem. I would suggest that until you have seen a doctor you try has hard a possible to keep your cool when you find that it has happened again, the more angry you get the more she’s going to try to hide it. Hopefully it will be something that can be corrected quickly. I’m sorry to write a book but like I said it’s near to my heart. Best of Luck!

K.

Sounds like she feels like she is starving. Have you asked her? At the end of a nice meal ask her if she is full and see what she says. If she is truly hungry all the time, then it seems like there is something physiological going on. It could be her hormones are out of whack and making her hungry, you might consider getting her checked out by an endocrinologist. Until you get this figured out, I would not buy any chips or cake. You could put an apple or carrots in her lunch instead of chips. But we also need healthy fats to help us feel full, so we need some fats with our meals. You could also keep some boiled eggs, peeled, in the frig for snacks. Good luck and I hope you figure this out. But it may not be fair to get angry at her, she may be following her natural instincts to forage for food when she is hungry...

i have read some of the answers and i have to think that you said that she was horomone sensitive then maybe it is physiological and she has a horomone imbalance and her body is telling her she is hungry. Not buying snacks for a while wont hurt. i had to stop buying snacks b/c my husband is trying to loose weight-and now doing a great job of it-but there was nothing 'bad' around to tempt him. Maybe use this method until you figure out what is going on. Make everything in the house healthy that way you can not worry so much when she is sneaking food and lying about it. He would do that too. Imagine a grown man lying about food. Well now his eating choices are better and we all eat alot better for it. Hope this helps you and i hope she starts eating better soon.

well 1 of 2 things can happen here. Buy ONLY healthy foods like carrot sticks grapes apples ect and keep that in the house. or lock it up. Dont feel like a bad parent for doing that i had to do this with my then 2 year old b/c she would get in to the fridge and just open everything and not eat it. either way dont cave so she knows you mean buisness!

as hard as it sounds keep ALL junk out of the house. if you want some sometimes go get it and eat it while she is at school. my daughter is 9 and 5' 2" and 125. she doesn't look fat but wants to eat all the time. keep smacks in the frig and pantry that are low fat low cal. and healthy. carrot sticks celery, etc, my problem is my daughter will NOT eat any veggie. if a fry has to much potato in it she won't eat it. her doc. told me to give her prenatal vitamins because she doesn't get what she needs. when i don't buy the junk she wonders around whinning. i think she will be glad in just a few years. she is no skinny minny. i have all ways sad she was a big girl. my big concern is health. my girl won't even drink milk. try talking to you little girl about anything negative that hurt you feelings when you were growing up and see if it opens a door into something that might be bothering her that she isn't ready to talk about. second and thirds of health stuff might help. as long as it isn't full of suger and fats. watch what she drinks too. cut down of sugary drinks. maybe you cou7ld ease into a new trend. i also would make it mandatory that she be disciplined for the lying. in out house that is the worse thing you can do. the act is one thing but in life if you word is no good the you don't have much going for you. my daughter has to ask for some thing to eat. when she is told no she isn't a happy camper but she will live. if she lies and sneaks. well she knows she will lose her tv or computer time or some kind of grounding for the lie. you must set bounderys now they do grow up. good luck and god bless. maybe when she is hungery you can distract her with an activity or going out to play. i feel you pain. mom of seven, R.. funny our 2 girls both have this problem with eating. the 5 boys are bean poles

I'll tell you that growing your own food not only saves you money, but it gets the whole family involved in a healthier lifestyle. My kids couldn't wait until 'their' vegetables grew big enough to pick and eat. Start a garden with family favorites as soon as the weather permits. I think letting your daughter help maintain her very own garden will help her eat healthier foods. Try not to make it a big 'eating' issue. Just ask her if she'd like to help decide what to plant and let her help any way she can: clearing area of all rocks and debris, planting, watering, weeding, etc. I guarantee she'll like it! Good luck to you!

Ps- Easy to grow for our very first garden were cucumbers, sugar snap peas, tomatoes and green beans.

This sounds like something other than emotional eating. I would talk with her doctor and if that goes no where, talk to another doctor. My 16 year old niece has always been a big girl and a secretive eater. Once we caught her eating a pound of bacon. She was so sneaky about it and it is sad. Now she has serious health problems as a result of this and is already taking cholesterol medication and losing a battle with her weight. Her parents didn't address this when she was younger. Please help your daughter now and talk to a doctor.