I just posted a question however wanted to re ask after reading many of the responses. I have a breast fed 6 month old son. He has always been a horrible sleeper and is waking up every two hours still. A few times I can pat him, hand him his lovie and he'll fuss a few more seconds and then fall back to sleep. Most of the time he'll start crying and want to be nurses. A few of the times he'll just nurse a few minutes and fall back to sleep, one or two of the nightly nurses he does nurse for 5-10 minutes. He wakes up every 1-3 hours, usually every 2 even when he is not hungry. A few of the night time wakes up he is very persistent to getting to the breast to nurse, a few of the times he will be content with me holding him standing up however he just stays awake, he wont actually go to sleep unless I go nurse him. He does not fall asleep nursing though he will put himself back to sleep.
I'm going crazy with lack of sleep! and am getting very frustrated with things as well. I want to be consistent with something with him however nothing seems to help. I don't mind nursing him at night or getting up but am so behind on sleep always nor can I ever go out or do anything once I have the kids in bed. If I do just go and nurse him each time he wakes up then he starts doing it more often, every 40 minutes to an hour all night long. The doctor suggested I try the CIO method which I have, and he said to let him CIO and not to feed him less then every 4 hours hours at night. Like I said I don't mind nursing him at night but he is not just waking up because he is hungry, he wakes up and is in a habit of needing me to help him get back to sleep each time.
(The doctor said this is just for the few nights to get him adjusted to sleeping at night, however once he is if he wakes up hungry sooner or something to tend to him). He really does not seem hungry in the first 2-3 hours after he goes to bed anyways and only comforts nurses for a few minutes. So I tried all the no-cry things and the CIO method and I'm getting no where. He still wakes up every two hours and cries, I'm thinking that by feeding him after 4 hours which is basically every other time he wakes up he is just confuses on when I'll go to him and when I won't.
He wont take a paci, I keep the room dark, have white noise, picked a word for him to associated at bedtime like the no-cry books suggested. He does have reflex, however it is under control, he does teeth from time to time however this is not something that happens just when he teeths, its every night all night.
I don't want to co-sleep since it is not something I want to do in the long run, I like putting the kids to bed and watching a movie and cleaning up the house. I'm a SAHM and during the day my time is with the kids and I do all the clean up after they go to bed. He also does not sleep any better when he does sleep with me, I've tried it. He just wakes up more often I assume since he knows I'm right there. I also have very small breast so can't nurse lying down nor will he, he just screams and gets frustrated until I sit up.
We have done happy crib time so that he knows the area, he has a lovie, I've tired baby oatmeal before bedtime, we have a bedtime routine. We tried making him bed time later and earlier.Oh he puts himself to sleep at nap and bed time great. I've tried getting him to eat as much as possible during the day like the doctor suggested, but he still wakes up just as much but just does not nurse as much. Everything I've tried I've tried for at least a week or two. We have been working on things since he was 4 months old, so 2.5 months, however between 4-6 months we tried all the no-cry options. For the past two weeks I have been trying the CIO method, but like I said I think by basically feeding him every other time just confuses him.
Here is an example of how last night went (last night was the first night in 2 weeks that I was not consistent since what I was doing was not working)
7:30pm bed time (he ate well at dinner time at 6:00, he gets to eats solids twice a day and nursed well before bed)
9:12 - wakes up, I let him cry a few minutes to see if he'll put himself back to sleep, he is getting more worked up so I go in and pat him, he fusses for a few seconds then was back out
11:40ish - woke up, he would not go back to sleep so I finally nursed him, he nursed for 2-3 minutes and was fine so I laid him back down and he was out
1am - up again, same thing but he nursed for a bit more
3:30am - woke up and would not go back to sleep just cried and cried in his crib despite my pats so I picked him up, he was content but would not go back to sleep. I keep it dark and do not talk to him. He was not acting hungry so I tried laying back down, he would cry, finally I nursed him for a few minutes and then laid him down. I am laying him down awake but I assume the nursing is making him relaxed and sleepy.
4:30 awake again but I was able to just pat him and he only cried for 2-3 minutes and was back asleep.
6:30 up again for good for the day
So like I said that was last night the past two weeks basically went like this
7:30 bed time
between 8:30-9:30 - I can usually just pat him and he'll go back to sleep or only cry for a few minutes. I do wait to go into see if he'll go to sleep by him self. When I do pat him I keep it simple. Just pat him, say nite-nite make sure his lovie is close by and then leave.
10:30 wake up again - he would wake up and cry but I would like him CIO and go in every 5, 10,20 minutes. He was not screaming the whole time, he would scream here or there but it was mostly just crying and him trying to calm him self down and then he would start back up. This would take anywhere from 20 minutes to an hour until he fell back to sleep.
12:30 up again - it had been over 4 hours like the doctor suggested so I nurse him. He nurses very well for 10-15 minutes
2:30 awake and I do the same as before when I let him CIO
between 2-6 I can often get him to cry for a few minutes and then go back to sleep any time between 6 and 7 we'll get up for the day and then he nurses very well and eats baby oatmeal. So during these 2 weeks he was down to only 1-2 good nursing at night vs nursing every hour for a few minutes with 1/2 semi okay nursing. However things never got any better then this. He still woke up all the time. If I do just go right to him though he just starts waking up more often each night. CIO is the only thing that has made it even this good, before now he was waking up 4 or 5 times in the first hour or two that I put him down. I would go and deal with him since I was not letting him cry it out yet and he would only go back to sleep if I nursed him. He would hardly nurse more then maybe 10 seconds and be out, and then 10 minutes later do it again.
So all I can think of to do is to either just tank him up during the day and have a few very long nights with out any nursing or anything, no coming out the crib just stand near by and tell him he is okay and pat him every so often, the 5,10,20 thing. I'm unsure since even though I know at 6 and a half months he can go all night with nursing I can't stand the thought of my baby going hungry and would like to cut out nursing slowly but am confusing him. Or I can just go right to him the second he cries each time and nurse him. This will start happening more and more the more but I need to do one or the other. I'm not sure how the CIO method will work and I want to be consistent. By doing this half in between method I getting even less sleep. By getting up with him every hour or so I only end up getting 2-5 hours of sleep a night since it takes me awhile to fall back to sleep or he'll wake up the 2-year-old and I go tend to him. Either way I need to pick something. I'm 100% torn. I am not sure how to make just letting him have a few rough nights will work. I want to make it as easy as possible on him if I do! May a bowl of oatmeal right before bed? He does not get much solids yet since I'm just starting out at 6 months. Or just give up and go deal with him each time and treat this as a phase but I honestly don't see it getting any better just worse.
Quick note since someone asked about his daytime schedule. . he wakes up between 6 and 7am naps at 9, 12:30 and then some time between 3 and 4. He here or there will nap for an hour to and and a half but that is very rare and mostly only takes 40 minute naps. He wont stay up much later then that. A few nights here or there he had a late nap and then did end up staying up until 8:30ish however it did not make a difference in how he slept.
I try two meals a day of solids and will go to 3 meals a day between 7 and 8 months like the doctor suggested however he is not very interested in solids despite what I try and bites down and refuses most of the time or will take it but only a little. His meals are just maybe a small bowl of oatmeal mixed with fruit or veggie or a jar. He at most eats 3/4 jar of 2nds at a meal. Often much less. I do want him eating some solids however at this point should still mostly be on breast milk. When I do just go to him every hour like he wants he hardly nurses or eats in the morning. I do try to get him to eat as much solids as he willing when I offer but he often wont take them. I tried not nursing him before to make sure he is hungry and then he'll take some, but like the other night I gave him a good size amount right before bed as an extra meal basically and he ate pretty good that time and it did not make any different that night.
Oh I also for a week tried where I nursed him every 3-4 hours since so many sites suggested that spacing out his feedings would help. I've also tried cluster feeding him a lot in the evening, no help. I currently am offering to let him nurse as much as he wants during the day or as much as he is willing to nurse. At night sometimes when he wakes up he does not even really nurse, like he'll take 1-2 sucks and then fall asleep so at those times it seems more for comfort, other times he does eat more. When I offer to nurse him every hour like he wants probably the first 6 hours we are awake in the morning then he'll hardly nurse at all. But currently I am trying to get him to nurse as much as I can during the day right now.
I would suggest nursing him more often during the day and move his bed time to 9:00ish. Also, nurse him right before he goes to bed at night. See if that helps. If he isn't tolerating food, that will make him not sleep well at night. I exclusively BF my 6 month old and he sleeps for 8-12 hours at night. Good luck!!
Just nurse him.
6 months old is ALSO a growth-spurt time...and a baby NEEDS to feed, has increased intake needs, and the frequency of it increases too.
For the 1st year of life and especially at growth-spurts... a baby needs to feed on-demand... breastmilk or Formula, is their PRIMARY source of nutrition... NOT solids and not other liquids.
If he is hungry, he is hungry.
ALSO make sure you are producing enough milk, to keep up with him. If not, he will ALWAYS be hungry.
Babies also do what is called "cluster feeding" where they will also need to feed, every single hour. This is what breastfeeding is. It happens. And feeding/baby's hunger, reflects their growing... and increased feeding needs.
Babies this age, STILL wake at night... and yes, both my kids, woke at this age.... every 2-3 hours.
I breastfed. That is the way it is.
Your baby... is NORMAL.
ALSO, if you are giving him solids.... instead of nursings... your milk supply will diminish. Solids, is supposed to be given AFTER nursing... otherwise, if you give solids "before" breastfeeding, baby will be too full, to nurse... and it will cause a baby to "wean" from breast. You do NOT want this to happen.
This is only 1 of MANY developmental based "phases."
Sleep in a baby is NOT static. It always changes.
Appetites in a baby, is NOT static either. It always changes and reflects their growth-spurts and development.
And it can change, every day.
Sleep "methods" or crying it out... is for the parent, not the baby's needs.
all the best,
Susan
I have to agree with S H just nurse him. I know what you are going through. My first was breast fed and at this age only woke up twice a night but my second who was also breast fed woke up every 2 hours until I weaned her at 13 months. Yes I got up every 2 hours for 13 months straight! I did it cause I new she just wanted to eat and because unlike my first wasn't sleep long stretches on her own so I new she needed that milk. All babies are different some need to eat more than others. I have heard to make sure you ate a big lunch cause what you eat at lunch is what is in your milk around bedtime so hardier milk may help him to sleep a little longer? I just realized that it was faster to just quickly nurse her and put her back to bed then try rocking or doing other things to get her to fall asleep. And remember the best thing is nurse on demand. If he does eat when he wakes he is hungry. Hang in there. It won't be like this forever. Also he is probably hungry when he wakes around 9:30 (he might be ready for a good cluster feeding) but when you just pat him to sleep he is still hungry so bound to wake up soon again to eat. Also CIO does work but you have to be consistent. So when you get him somethings and let him CIO other times he isn't going to get it. He will get confused...like why do you get him sometimes he cries and not other times? I have done CIO with both my babies but not until I am done night nursing them so there is no confusion. So for my first i night weaned at 11 months and my second it was 13 months.
I reiterate my position that cosleeping and nursing lying down is by far the easiest way for both of you to sleep... A couple more thoughts - small breasts should not be a reason for not being able to nurse lying down (mine are small and I always nursed lying down), try some different positions. Since he's used to sitting up, it may take a short while for him to readjust, but you should be able to do it. It sounds like he's able to go back to sleep easily and fairly quickly each time you nurse him, and if you cosleep (either in the same bed or with separate mattresses and separate blankets up against each other on the floor) and nurse lying down, you should be able to go right back to sleep too. I think that if you do this (cosleep and nurse him whenever he wants during the night), at first he may wake up a little more often (as you suspect), since he's been through so much nighttime abandonment, and it may take a while for him to feel reassured that you'll really be there for him all night long. But then once you do it this way for a while and he begins to feel safer and more secure (also as he grows and eats more solids, and the size of his stomach increases), he will indeed begin to sleep in increasingly longer stretches. I think nursing for "comfort" is absolutely fine at this age. You also say you like to watch a movie or clean house after he goes to sleep in the evening - that is totally understandable, and you can still do that if you cosleep, just nurse him to sleep and then get up until he needs you again. However, if your main issue is that you're sleep deprived, at this point it might be better for you to go to sleep when he does, to take advantage of that time, until you get caught up on your sleep. Also napping when he does (and your older child). I know it's tempting to get a lot of things done when they're asleep, but the housework can wait (and if you're home all day with 2 kids, I would hope that your husband would do most of the housework!). Your description of the most recent night sounds absolutely normal for a 6-month-old, as far as his sleep schedule goes, and it sounds to me like you would be much happier and better rested if you'd nurse him back to sleep lying down whenever he wakes up (you could try patting his back first to see if that works, but, if not, just go ahead and nurse him), and go to bed earlier yourself. It really doesn't last forever, once he feels safe and knows you are there for him, he will sleep longer stretches. I'm sorry if this isn't what you want to hear, but it breaks my heart to hear how complicated parents sometimes make things and how hard it becomes, when it could all be so simple. I imagine you probably have friends who have babies who sleep through the night because of CIO (which "works" for some babies, but at great cost to their emotional wellbeing), and maybe they'll think you're crazy, but there are many many attachment parenting/cosleeping moms who will celebrate your willingness to meet your baby's needs (and at times commiserate with you about the lack of uninterrupted sleep!). If you meet his nighttime needs for nursing and closness, probably by a year or so he'll be waking up only once or twice a night, and before that he'll probably usually most nights have one longer stretch of sleep for 3 or 4 or 5 hours (which is typically followed by shorter stretches for the rest of the night). It sounds like you are working really hard trying to make this work, and taking the time to write your story and reach out for help - but I just want to say that really it doesn't have to be nearly so difficult. Parenting is so much simpler if we can just follow our children's needs, not some outside "authority."
You didn't really tell us what his schedule is during the day. So I'm going to assume your baby is ready for more food. Also, have a sippy cup of water available all the time and offer it. I put it on the floor where my lil one plays and she sips on it alot. Here's the schedule I keep:
6:30 Instead of BF in the morning, try some cereal (like alot of cereal) and a jar of fruit or veggies. Feed the baby until he is full and won't eat anymore. Then, let him play until nap time.
9:30-10 BF and put down for nap. Don't let him sleep longer than 2 hours. You don't have to wake him up necessarily, but open the door and start making noise so he wakes up on his own.
12:00 Feed lunch like a jar or two of baby food. Put some Cheerios on the tray and let him play eat. After, let him play.
3:00 BF and put down for nap. Don't let him sleep longer than 2 hours. Again, you don't have to wake him up necessarily, but open the door and start making noise so he wakes up on his own.
At dinner, feed some protein, too. Try baby meats if he's not ready for small bits of your meal. I know they smell funky but babies seem to like them.
BF before he goes to bed. If you stick to it, he should sleep more at night. You might have to do 1 or 2 feedings at night depending on if he's teething or whatever but it's better than every 2 hours!
My only other suggestion, have him adjusted by a chiropractor. I had my 1 year old adjusted at 2 weeks old and she slept through the night since then. I get her adjusted probably every other month (I work for a chiropractor) and she sleeps really well. It's usually cheap to get an infant adjusted if you don't have insurance, and most insurances cover chiro, so it's worth a try in my opinion!
