6 Month Old Will Not Take Naps

Updated on March 19, 2008
J.W. asks from Chicago, IL
10 answers

Hi,
My 6m old daughter refuses to take her naps, despite everything I do. She just started sleeping through the night again two weeks ago after introducing solids. I typically nurse her to sleep, but once I put her in her crib, she wakes up immediately or within 30-min. I feel like I waste my day trying to get her to nap and I am exhausted! My husband doesn't agree with the CIO (Crying It Out) method and thinks I am nuts and our daughter "perhaps" doesn't need to sleep" (HA!) I have read Weisbluth's book (which I like), The No-Cry Sleep Solution (which is timely, but offers some good solutions) and Secrets of the Baby Whisperer (which I wish I read before I had Lilly). I have no me time during the day and is taking a toll. If it was up to her, she would sleep on me and will sleep on me for an hour or so, that is the only way to get her to nap, which is not conducive. Most of my friends have done the CIO method with success, so am trying to see if that is what most moms are doing out there or if someone has any other suggestions. Thank you.

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So What Happened?

Thanks for everyone's input. After our 6m appt, our peditrician said we had to wait until she was 15lbs to use the CIO method, she was barely there, but gave us the go. It has been a battle throughout the month of Feb, but is now crying 5min-25min after being put down. I also had to stop nursing her to sleep b/c that is how she wanted to sleep. She is getting better and looking forward to her self-soothe herself.

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D.W.

answers from Jacksonville on

We cried it out with my boys. It wasn't as hard as I thought it would be because we were't sleeping AT ALL. We started about 5-6 months and after the first few days it was cake! After they realized we weren't gonna come get them they decided it wasn't worth all the crying. Now at 19 months and almost 3 they practically ask to go to bed. It's great! I don't think I would be sane if we hadn't done this early.

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D.

answers from Chicago on

Hi J.. I have two boys (ages 5 and 2 1/2) and with both I did the cry-it-out method. I know it's a personal choice - you sound as if you've done some good research, though - you may want to give it a shot. With my 2nd, he was a horrible daytime napper (several 20-30 minute "catnaps" - and not much time for me to rest/get stuff done). At about 5 months he started also getting up in the night again (had been sleeping through the night for about 6 weeks at that time). So, we decided it was time to really get his schedule corrected. I had the sitter following our exact schedule of feeding, reading before nap, sleeping, etc. In less than a week we had not only given up getting up in the night again, but also had started having two successful naps in the day. Yes, the first couple of days were especially hard at night, but I knew once we got over the hump EVERYONE would be sleeping better. Personally, I think kids just really need structure - from the time they are infants. Good luck to you in whatever you decide to do - keep us posted! D.

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T.W.

answers from Chicago on

When my son was little I had the exact same problem. What worked for us was...putting him into his crib at nap time and then quietly leaving but walking back into the room with a book or magazine that I was "reading". No eye contact. Then walk back out. (back and forth, back and forth) He would continue to cry for a little while but he understood that I was not leaving him there that I was still around. This took a while the first two days (like a few hours before he fell asleep) the crying stopped after a much shorter period of time. However, after about 4 or 5 days he was alseep without crying after just one or two trips into the nursery. Hope this helps...Good Luck!

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M.R.

answers from Chicago on

I followed Weissbluth's book almost to the letter and saw results within 3 days. My son wouldn't nap worth a darn during the day so at 6 months I decided to give it a go. Mentally I prepared myself by saying "expect a lot of crying, but know that it should get better". He went from only napping in my arms to napping in his crib for at least 90 minutes at a time. Once I began respecting his natural sleep/wake cycles, it was so easy for him. And, while I needed some downtime I felt it was much more important for my child to get the sleep he NEEDED on a daily basis in order to grow and develop properly.

We used to have a long soothing routine. Now my boy wants us to just put him in the crib so he can go to sleep. I completely miss the cuddling - but knowing that he feels safe and comfortable enough to fall asleep on his own terms totally overrides my selfish desire to cuddle him.

CIO works well for many people and horribly for others (and it isn't because they're doing something incorrectly). Find what works best for you and your family, but above all be consistent with your choices for the best results.

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S.X.

answers from Chicago on

We did some crying it out at night (with dad going in less and less frequently... not me as not to get mixed up with feeding). For naps we actually used the fisher price aquarium thing... press the button and the music comes on and fish move... along with the same CD we play everytime he slept (he finally decided he didn't like it after 2 YEARS). We also had a huge stuffed duck we put on his belly and he'd stop crying immediately. We'd take it away when he fell asleep. He sleeps with that DUCKIE every time now. Funny, but seemed to work.

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L.R.

answers from Chicago on

Hi, J.,

You sound just like me when my first-born was 6 months! Wow, you describe your situation exactly like mine. I thought it was an honest-to-goodness miracle when I found Dr. Weissbluth's book. It rescued me from the brink of insanity and complete exhaustion! My daughter wouldn't sleep, either, during the day unless she was sleeping on me. But something in me just kept screaming inside thinking this just couldn't be right - not for her and not for me. I remember crying when I read Dr. Weissbluth's words about it being okay to let your baby cry - in order to teach her to sleep. As a first time mom, I had so many insecurities and felt so alone at times that I believed that as a good mom, I could never let her just cry - that just couldn't be right! But I kept reading and something about it just made sense to me - how was my baby supposed to learn to nap on her own if all along she had been napping on me? After all, isn't that just what I wanted -for her to sleep in her crib, on her own?
It sounds like you are the primary caregiver, not your husband, so although you definitely want his opinion and his support, you really have to go with your gut and believe some of what you are reading! What is the worst thing that could happen if you try the CIO method? Your daughter is not going to love you any less - you are her mom and her biggest role model, which means you are loving her enough to teach her to rest. Furthermore, you have got to respect yourself enough to get a break - having a break makes you a better mom and more able to care for your daughter with the intensity we all know it takes as the primary caregiver. It only took 2 days for Abigail to learn the nap thing; now, she did cry for what felt like an eternity that first day - it was hard to hear. But stay strong - remember you are teaching her how to sleep on her own. I will be thinking about you and wishing you well - write if you need support!

Laurie

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C.U.

answers from Chicago on

I have a 3 yr old and 5 month old....I am just starting to let the 5 month old cry it out when I put her down for naps, as long as she is not crying out in pain, I let her cry for a bit before I will / if at all pick her up. Also she is a bad napper during the day as well, but I have started putting her on a schedule and it seems to be letting me get a little down time. I only put her to bed asleep at night time, when I see she is getting tired or cranky during the day I will go lay her in her bed with her fishy music and she will fall asleep with in 10 mintues or so, give it a shot. It might take a week or so to get her used to it, but even if she doesnt fall asleep and plays or talks to a toy that will give her and you the much needed break. When she gets used to the routine that she will give in, I think, and start napping for you.
The problem we have is now my 3 yr old is in school 3 days a week, so she has to nap on the go.

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K.B.

answers from Indianapolis on

Hi J.,

I have really gon eback and forth with the CIO method. I have a little girl, she's 18 months tomorrow and a 6 month old boy.
My daughter didn't "get it" until 8 months, semi-cried for 3 days and that was it, she was trained. Before that, she'd cry non-stop until she'd practically pass out of exhaustion so we weren't able to let her CIO much, she also threw up so we thought it was horrible.

My son is similar in that he will cry for 1 full hour, we go up, comfort him, and he resumes his crying.

I am not able to continue soothing though so we've really decided it was it.
It has been a week and I feel we've made a lot of progress. There are a few factors that have made this unsuccessful. One, if he wakes up at night and doesn't go back as soon as I put the paci in, I bring him to my bed - doesn't happen before 4 am anymore BUT, my daughter has been coughing and waking up so when he wakes up I have a hard time letting him cry for he will wake her up.

#2, same at nap time, if she's asleep, I go ahead and bring him into my room and nap with him, my kids are 11 months apart and I just can't handle the thought of him waking her and then nobody gets a nap.

So.... when she's awake, I will let him cry. He does eventually fal asleep and the next time he cries less, not as hard and falls asleep faster.

It does work, unfortunately.

If I weren't so tired, I wouldn't mind waiting until he's 8 months so see if the "object permanence" helps so he knows he's not being abandoned....

It does work, you have to be consistent. My daughter was the same, so is he, they will sleep on me or with me forever and ever and ever, no probs, but as soon as they're in their room they'd wake up upset. My Dr said it was so much easier to put them down awake and go through it for once and for all and it is 100% TRUE, it is so muc better and more effective to let them cry than to lay them down asleep and hope they stay, at least in my experience...

Let me know how it works!!!

PS. I wanted to add thar when they regress, it can be just while they ;earned somethign new, they seem very excited and have a hard time sleeping cos they're too busy wanting to take it all in, particularly when they start crwaling I think I heard.

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K.F.

answers from Indianapolis on

I have a 7-month old who does the same thing. I've basically just accepted the fact that he is a cat-napper. I'm back at work now so he is in daycare, but he does the same thing for them. CIO only works for us on the random occasions that he wakes up during the night, but has never worked for naps. I kmow that's not helpful, but just wanted you to know that yours isn't the only one like that!

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J.F.

answers from Chicago on

J.- I was reading through & found your request. My twin sons are 6 months old & I have the same problem, they nap in their swings though & not on me. I feel like I have no time to myself right now, and I want to start Weisbluth's advice. I was wondering, since it sounds like you had success, & I am also a nursing my boys, I had a question I was hoping you could answer if you don't mind. What is your schedule for Lilly? What time does she wake? What time are her naps? What time is bedtime? And the most important question, what times do you nurse her at night at? How often during the day do you nurse her? My boys are both on solids now too. I really appreciate you answering my email if you don't mind. I started day #1 on Weisbluth today & I put the boys down both at 8:00 & it is now 11:00. Per his advice, he recommends I think a 12:00 nursing & then again around 4-5 am. Did you follow this??? Thanks a bunch

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