6 Yr Old Tactile Learning Active Boy in Kinder-they Want Him Medicated, I Say No

I find it interesting that a teacher had the nerve to mention meds to you at all. I work in a school and we have been told repeatedly that we are not to mention anything regarding meds or diagnosis. We have been told that if a school staff member suggests meds or doctor visits that the school could be made responsible for paying for it. You might bring that up to the teacher and see if she back pedals any.

None of the stuff you mention at the end has any impact on ADHD at all. ADHD is a medical issue related to brain function and neurotransmitter production and reuptake, and there is no correlation between eliminated food, additives or adding anything (unless the data came from the manufacturer of the item!) so let all that junk go and save your time and money. The only thing that could assist him on your list is exercise, but I am curious about your remark that he is a tactile learner. Does he have senosry issues? If that is the case, then get him to an Occupational therapist privately right away and find out what he needs. If you find that he has needs in this area, this could explain everything, and you should proceed with plan B.

Plan A is: Email your teacher. Write a summery of your converstaion with her about her wanting him to be evaluated for ADHD and on Medication. Ask her to reply in writing within 10 school days if your summary is in correct, and if you do not have a writen response within that time, you will assume that your summary is accurate. Take that email, and send it to the special education department and demand a full evaluation, including a medical evaluation because the school suggested that your son had a problem, and it is now their responsiblity to evaluate him. If they are not going to evaluate him, then you insist that they put the pressure to provided evaluations and medications to rest and to determine the reason for your son's behavioral issues at school, becuase he does not have them at home. I would suggest that you ask them for a Functional Behavioral Assessment and a behavior plan. At some point, you are going to need to protect him from his own behavior and spell out what can be done, and what cannot be done when he misbehaves at school. There is a great deal for you to gain from a behavior plan that includes only positive interventions and supports for your child.

If you find he has sensory needs, then on to plan B: start private therapy, take the private therapists evaluation report to school, and ask for an evaluation. Don't worry about what they decide to call him, children are served based on need, not diagnosis. This would be the only way for him to get OT at school, and for him to have is sensory needs recognized, and get accomodations for his tactile learning style. OT is a related service to special education, children who are not admitted to special education cannot get OT at school. If he has this set of needs, they will soon be expressed in a huge difference between his verbal ablities, and his ablity to produce work on that level, which could be his issue in a nut shell.

If any of this sounds likely to you, get him an evaluation by a Developmental Pediatrician. You need to know if your son may really have issues. That they show up only at school says to me that they are driven by one of two things, and both can be measured so that you do not have to guess. Either, he has relative weaknesses, like a dip in his aptetude in one area that cause him to be resistant to learning and likely to act out...it is easier to be in trouble than it is to say that you don't get it when you know that you are smart enough to get it, which could be driven by the "tactile" learning style. Or, he has issues with social processing and sequencing that have only come to bear in this envionment. In any case, if the nubers are there, you want to know...you need to know, or you need to have the numbers to tell the teacher to buzz off...

Finally, a teacher is way out of line by suggesting medication at all is inapproriate. Doctors suggest medication for fully diagnosed medical issues. ADHD happens to be one of those issues for which medication is appropriate for some patients, and is very effective. Teachers do not diagnose any medical issue from asthma to ADHD. She should be exposed to her higher ups, because this kind of suggestion puts parents off and may delay a child getting approriate treament because the suggestion is so out of line if it comes from an educator.

That being said, as an advocate, one of the first things I tell clinets who are pissed off (and they are all pissed off, or they do not call me) is that even though this teacher has made you really angry, you should not discount everything she says. Use her information (and her blunder, quite honestly) to get your son exactly what he needs to be a success.

M.

Eeek. Just because the counselor and the teacher told you that medication is "your choice" (duh, all medical issues are your domain!) that does not absolve them of the major procedureal boo-boo they committed, nor does it stop you from driving a truck through it and using it to your advantage. You do have the upper hand now, you can put them on the spot, then get them to take responsiblity for making his environment one that he can be a success in!

Hi E., a teacher (nor you) can't diagnose ADHD as it is a medical condition. His ped can give you a referral to a Developmental Pediatrian for various screenings.
No sense thinking about the possibility of meds or therapy til you get a qualified diagnosis, right?

:)

What kind of school is he in?
Maybe try a Montessori based school for him.
Not all Kindergarten schools are the same.

Honestly, you should probably go to an outside source to evaluate your son. That way the evaluation is impartial and will give you a more accurate indicator of whether he has ADD/ADHD.

I agree with the other moms that the it is not the teacher's place to recommend medications, but as the parent of an ADHD child, I would take her opinion as a red flag that something is going on. Our doctor wouldn't even evaluation him for ADHD until he was 7, because many of the traits are common in younger children. That being said, if he is struggling, even if it's not academic, finding the problem early is important.

I do have one idea to help him sit in class that a friend of mine uses for her 1st grader. They sell stability discs at Target that you inflate. She gave her son one that is partially inflated to sit on in class. That way he can have motion without being disruptive. It also has texture on the the outside that he rubs his had over to calm himself (helps many kids who are tactile). Also look up Kirk Martin, Celebrating Calm and get on his mailing list. He sends out emails for ideas that help kids who need a little extra help in getting through the day (without meds).

Good luck!

I would talk to the school guidance office about your concerns that the teacher may be wanting to medicate a child that just has a different method of learning. I would discuss why the teacher's analysis was different than yours.

My stepson and I are auditory learners and if we hear it, it sinks in. Teachers like that. My husband and stepdaughter are "hands on" learners where they learn best by doing. Teachers don't always like that.

My husband has said that if he were a kid today, teachers would be pressing his parents for medication.He's a huge multi-tasker. People have looked at my stepdaughter and wondered if she had ADD. No, she was just really, really active and liked to (likes to) push authority. I would try to find out if your child really has needs or if the teacher has needs. And if your son might be better served in another school or by a particular teacher. My stepdaughter had a tough 4th grade with an old-school teacher who thought she knew better than we did but she's an A student now, taking AP classes and thriving. In late elementary she was also put in a special program for kids who excelled in reading and I think the challenge helped. Oh, and she got dinged on her writing for having too much "voice" and her handwriting was always atrocious. We made her rewrite things often when she was young, and pointed out where her rushing/bad penmanship cost her points because no one could read it. She can spell, but she doesn't like to take the time to do it right. I'm only mentioning it because it took a LOT of one-on-one time at the table to get her through to where it didn't matter as much.

That said, if there are real reasons to have your child medicated, please consider it. My nephew struggled with the ADHD diagnosis and wouldn't take his meds and was busted for drugs for "self medicating" instead. It ruined his HS career.

.

Hi E..

Visit www.cchr.org and click on the "Alternatives" tab. I also agree with
S H. from Honolulu to take a look at a Montessori program.

Best wishes,

M.

I'm a teacher and also the mom of an active boy. I have seen kids who really cannot function without medication, and who are miserable at school because they are constantly in trouble. No teacher change, no amount of strategies, can really help them. They come to hate school and feel bad about themselves. For those kids, I think medication is a good choice. They dont know what it feels like to be in control, and medication helps them with that.

With that being said, I think kids are REALLY over medicated - especially boys and especially in Kindergarten. Before agreeing to something like that with my son, I would look into classroom options. I'd ask the principal if there is a particular first grade teacher he/she would recommend for next year - one that keeps the kids busy and moving and doing, more so than the others.

You may also talk with his current teacher to see if there are any modifications she can do - when he is writing, can he stand up while he is doing it or sit on the floor? Or have a choice of different kinds of pencil or crayons to use? Could he have two desks, and have the option to move between them to do work? Maybe google "adhd strategies" for more ideas. The teacher may respond that it wouldnt be fair to the others, because they wouldnt be able to have the same treatment. My response to that is "Fair doesnt mean that everyone gets the same, it means that everyone gets what they need."

I think young boys are really having problems in school right now because of the changes in expectations. What kids are doing in Kindergarten now is what they were doing in 2nd grade 20 or 30 years ago and it involves alot of sitting and pencil and paper work. This is especially hard on boys because they are slower to mature and, in general, more active.

If you have time, watch this TED talk which talks about why boys are tuning out in school: http://www.ted.com/talks/ali_carr_chellman_gaming_to_re_e...

I dont know what you already tried. Have you invited kids from his class over for supervised play dates? very helpful in making friends, he's probably much better one on one than larger groups. Has the teacher tried behavior charts? and other behavior modifications? these help most kids although after a while it loses its novelty and has to be changed up. I notice my son really has no idea what kind of day he had in K unless the teacher gives him a behavior chart. they need specific time allotments that they can either earn a sticker or not. His teacher also uses a poster of red yellow and green with clothes pins with the kids names on them. This takes very little effort for the teacher, children who behave keep their pins on green and kids who need a warning move their clip to yellow and then know they're on their way to red does she use something like that?
The other thing I'm doing to help my son develop the ability to focus for longer periods of time is to read longer books to him. Its amazing! a month ago he couldn't sit still for a short picture book now he's begging for another two chapters of My fathers Dragon.
Since your son has trouble with writing at school help him at home to think of ideas to write about at school. Kids are funny you can take them to the zoo Saturday and by Monday AM they cant think of a thing to write about!
You didnt mention whether or not HE is happy in K. Is he frustrated fby his inability to make friends and stay out of trouble? IF it continues, IF he's unhappy you may want to get him tested just to see if that is the problem. Testing does not mean medication, a diagnosis does not mean you have to medicate him, it could tell you exactly what you're dealing with.

I would also talk to the pediatrician for tips on getting him more focused - diet, maybe martial arts (great for teaching self discipline and focus for all of us!@!!) . Could consider a different school as well. I looked at a montessori for my daughter (very social, interactive and tactile...) NOT for her. In that type of enviornment (which is great for some kids) there was little social interaction and the kids were very self motivated and focused - not for my daughter... All kids and schools are different, the match is what matters.

A teacher recommending meds should be fired, and if one ever said that to me I'd tell them so.

The play based pre K could have a lot to do with it. I have some friends whose kids had trouble blending into "normal" school at first after the fun, building learning stuff. Lots of kids can't buckle down and focus at 6 when they haven't been forced to during preschool or at least kindergarten. If kindergarten is the first grade he's been with boring structure, it's normal he's having trouble. It will be good for him to stick with it, and the friends will come. Most of the kids in my daughters kinder class are just topical friends during class, nothing major-she has no "real friends" either, but likes everyone.

I toured an artsy independent school near us (my friend thought I would love it since we're sort of weird) that was really child led, loosey goosey, creative, every kid is unique, every thing is an art project and kids can self motivate at their own speed...I was like, HECK NO! What kind of second grader is self motivated? I know I wasn't! Our home is super artsy fartsy, I'm a painter and the hubs is a musician, and we need school to crack the whip and force the "boring stuff" we all had to go through. Everything is not fun, and part of growing up is disciplining yourself to get through it, boring worksheets and all. There is always lots of time for play.

I think he just needs to persevere. Healthy lifestyle is good along with discipline and firm expectations. He can do it! Good for you doubting the meds! It's also good you "get it" that he's tactile, so you'll always be sure he gets enough of his "own types" of activities at home.

I commend you for not giving up and medicate him. Boredom can be indeed an issue for children who are different and don't respond to stimulation the same way the majority does. I find that the omologation (usually needed) of the school system can be blamed, sometimes, for the struggle of more creative, "socially sensitive" children. So If I were in you I would keep looking for programs that are alternative to the one he's attending now...you never know, the right stimulation can spring a whole new set of (hopefully) positive reactions! Good luck..you are a good mommy!