6Th Grade Son Having Trouble in School

Updated on May 06, 2012
S.B. asks from New York, NY
5 answers

I am at my whits end........... every week I at least get one email..sometimes two... from school saying my 6th grade son is missing an assignment. He even went from a C to an F in language arts on his recent report card. He is constantly saying he hates school, but there's no bullying going on and he has plenty of friends that truely like him. He has no learning disabilities. He is very very smart. So I do know his Dad deployed a few months ago, but even before that I was getting emails that he wasn't doing all his work.

I just had to give him the you are going to fail lecture and blah blah blah and what does he do? He cries about it. I am just clueless on what to do, how to help him. Does anyone have any advice?

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M.B.

answers from Austin on

This happens to a LOT of middle school children..... all of a sudden, school is for "social", not learning (in their eyes, anyway).

Although it is late in the year, it isn't too late to start up some new policies. Get him an assignment book and make it MANDATORY that he fill it out..... tell him that if he puts "no homework" in the square, you WILL check with the teacher. Many schools have teacher websites where you can check assignments, and some have an online gradebook where you can monitor their grades.

Tell him that in order for him to earn privileges at home (video game time, computer time, stuff like that) he has to show you his assignment book every night.

Have a specific space and time set aside for homework time.

Also, talk to the teachers (either in person... request a conference with his teachers, all at one time.... they can usually set this up) or via e-mail for suggestions from their end on how to handle this continual missing assignment problem.

Basically, tell him that since HE couldn't handle his own responsibilities, YOU will have to handle them...... and he might not like the results. We've had several moms escort them INTO the school in the morning for morning tutorials so they could get things finished.

I work in a middle school (inclusion paraprofessional) so I see this happening from a LOT of kids, especially as it is getting closer to summer.

3 moms found this helpful

L.A.

answers from Austin on

Is this the first year you have had this problem with him?

Have you actually met with is teacher or teachers?

What do they see going on with him in their class room?

Is it just certain subjects?

Do you see him working on homework?

What is his schedule every day when he gets home?
Do you make sure to check he has done his homework?

Until you can figure out where the problem is starting, it is hard to know how to help him.

2 moms found this helpful
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M.M.

answers from Washington DC on

((((HUGS)))) Boys can be every bit as emotional and scatterbrained as girls. I have my own 5th grader and one out of the house. Sometimes I swear the boys are more exhausting than the girls, at least I know when those moods are coming.

Start by talking to the teachers face to face. Ask what he needs and what will be assigned until the end of the year, any big projects, book reports, etc.
Take away his electronics until homework is finished. In our house no electonics are turned on, including tv, until Friday afternoon. That includes Wii, DS, computer games. The only exception is when we are driving out of town to Richmond or DC.
Can he talk to Dad, can they Skype?
Does Dad have any interest in his son's schoolwork?
Is there another male that he can bond with? neighbor, uncle, grandfather, youth director

My oldest was like that. School was stupid, boring, teachers were mean. We then moved to CA. The teachers and administrators had a policy to "touch" every student. The asst principal shook every chld's hand in the morning, at lunch the guidance counselors came and gave high fives and attention to the kids, They had small group lunches where the kids would meet with a guidance counselor to "make the school better", a way to get them into small groups and just hang out and chit chat, bond.
My sons grades went from C's and D's to As and B's.

Next year have him get involved in a sport and a club or two. Usually in order to be a part of any of those he has to maintain a cetain gpa.

1 mom found this helpful
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S.F.

answers from Kansas City on

My son went from being at the top of his classes in Elementary school to being at the bottom with D's and F's in Middle school. It took me threatening (and meaning it) that I would take everything from his bedroom but his bed.

And by that I mean *everything*. His toys, his games, his books and his clothes and I told him that he would spend every afternoon doing nothing but homework/missing assignments/etc until his grades went up.

My son took me at my word and brought his grades back up to acceptable levels. It wasn't until he started High school that he fully recovered an excellent gpa - but he did make an effort and I wasn't kidding. I would have taken everything away from him but a place to sleep, eat and study. I was so mad and disappointed!

Now I am the very proud mother of a 20 yr old college graduate with a great job in IT for our local school district. I'm not saying that this will work for you, simply sharing a similar experience. :) Good luck!

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D.N.

answers from Chicago on

We recently had this issue with my son. Granted your son is facing more direct issues with dad deployed. My son said he is bored at school. He had a lot of missing work and his grades totally took a nose dive. I would try to work with his teacher to put together a plan for him to try to motivate him and maybe see if there are other issues. I do agree that boys can be just as emotional as girls.

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