7 Month Old Fussiness

I can totally relate to what you are going through. It sounds like you have a high needs baby. You should go to Dr. Sears website and read up on it, it will make you feel so much better!
www.askdrsears.com and search high needs babies.

My daughter was like that for the first 12 months of her life. It was just her temperment. She is shy and anxious around strangers even if they are family. (she was). I respected her feelings and wore her in slings a lot. I nursed her on demand and co-slept. The more I responded to her needs the more relaxed she became. There is nothing wrong with needing mom (that is what we are here for) and it wont last forever as tiring as it can be.

My daughter is now 2.5 years old and is getting so independent and confident and way way way better around strangers and extended family. She still cosleeps and nurses a few times a day so I think that helps her keep her connection with me and stay relaxed. She will outgrow things when she is ready and will be even more confident and independent from it.

Letting her cry is not the answer. She is not manipulating you, she is a baby who needs her mother maybe more than another baby with a different personality. I dealt with the judging from my in laws as well but you can't let it get to you and you can't tell them there is something wrong with your baby. You need to love him the way he is and nurture him now and they will be shocked at how much better he will be in another year.

First, get your hormones checked. You might have a bit of the baby blues.

Second, the more children feel you pushing them away, even if it isn't physically, the more they cling. It is time to let grandma watch her or someone else you trust, and have an afternoon to yourself. If you can do that once a week, it will help you out a lot.

Third, don't ever compare your child to a cousin or anyone else. Each child is individual and you aren't around the other child 24/7 to see what trying times they have with that child. Also a relaxed mother has a relaxed child so see if your behavior is causing the insecurity of your child.

Fourth and most important, repeat every day over and over whenever is needed "I am a good mother.." Don't lose your enjoyment over being a mother over the clinginess. Instead, remember that this will pass and once you figure out what she needs (my guess is some attention of a good story and playing together then a nap) she will settle down.

Personally, I found this the toughest age. I took a parent-baby class for the first year and about half way through the 6-9 months class, we talked about (and the instructor said) how this can be one of the toughest itmes for a new parent. I wished then that I had had some warning. Lots of changes and growth going on for baby and adjustments all around. Just know it REALLY does get better! 7 months was the worst for me for a variety of reason, but by 9 months it was better (and we were getting ready to move and it was still better). Do what feels right for you. Try to ignore the comparisons.

My son is now three and my heart skipped beat the other day when I got a hug because he "loved me." Makes up for all the hard times. Naybe there is a parent-baby group in your area for some support that isn't family. Good luck.

wow, that is a lot to deal with and it's easy to lose your cool. understandable.

My first daughter was very much like that.. I think it may have something to do with first children. They are used to getting all the attention all the time. My daughter would scream and cry if she wasnt right on my lap or she would scream and (when she was walking) and push herself between me and whatever I was in front of (like the counter if I was doing the dishes or cooking). My second daughter isn't anything like that, she is very content just sitting there and playing. I dont know how much is personality and how much is that she had to learn to entertain herself more than the first because I didnt have the same amount of time with no. 2 as I did with no. 1. I KNOW it's difficult to let her cry but I think that may be something she needs once and awhile. She has to learn to entertain herself a bit too. That being said make sure you take time and do nothing and just sit with her, sing with her, tickle her and play but even after doing that for awhile she is still not happy just being on her own then she just needs to figure things out herself. My first daughter is now very good at playing on her own but that was only after the second baby was born and I just didnt have the same amount of time to sit with her constantly.

Remember you need a break from time to time as well. Make sure you get out of the house on your own. Leave the baby with your husband and take a walk. Get together with a couple of friends from time to time or just take a nice hot shower or bath anything to get away and hear something other than baby noises. TRUST ME it will help!! I have definitely been there. Good luck.

you are feeling typical mom feelings, and you are not alone.
im sure that omar is not the perfect little angel all the time, and even if he is, he wont stay that way every single month the rest of his childhood. every kid has a different temperment, and yours is just different from your sister in laws.

some kids, like yours and like mine, will just accept NO SUBSTITUTES for what they need or want. i call that determination, headstrong, and very motivated. these are GOOD traits that will serve her well as she grows up. in the meantime, it seems more like stubbornness, crankiness, and constant fussiness.

the first thing that struck me is that though you have an honest love and need to fulfill your daughters needs whatever they are, you yourself is frustrated. the question is less about how to get your daughter to stop crying and how you can feel better about the whole situation, and get it under control.

its very possible that you have a slight form of postpartum depression. dont worry, its common (more common than you think) and its very treatable and manageable. i wouldnt assume that you would even need drugs to manage it, because you arent feeling resent toward your child, but more a frustration that you feel so bad about not knowing what she wants. make an appointment with your doctor, even if its just your OBGYN. they will know what to do, and what to ask, and what the situation is if it is really postpartum. it could be just overwhelming exhaustion or something.

so please, talk to your doctor, and if you dont get a response that you feel comfortable with, see another doctor. sometimes a second opinion is always a good idea. have patience with yourself, and know that sometimes you just need to take a break. see if you have someone who will just let you have a whole entire day to yourself. if you are nursing just pump for a couple days one extra time a day, and you will build up a supply if you havent already, and that will hold her for the day. formula - no problem.

give yourself a break. dont try to make the house spotless. the sooner you give up on trying to clean the house, the easier life will be. i heard a quote somewhere that cleaning the house while your children are still growing is like shoveling the walk while its still snowing, and its SO TRUE. the minute you have one thing cleaned, something makes it dirty again. there is no one on the face of the earth that can have every dish clean in the house at one time, or every floor clean, or whatever. its just not possible. so cut youself some slack. its amazing sometimes to look and see the mess i allow in my house since i had my son. i would have freaked before he came along, and now its just like, i would rather spend time with him or something, than clean the floor every single day. you know??

please write to me if you just want to talk. it also sounds like you are pretty lonely - do you have any close friends who you can spend some time with? its important to have someone to talk to, and sometimes husbands cant fill every single need we have as women, and thats ok, it doesnt mean our marriages are bad, it just means that its normal. our lives cannot possible be totally fulfilled by husbands and children; we are just not meant to live like that. i myself have often been frustrated just thinking that i really dont have a close friend i can talk to. i have a handful of really good friends, but they just arent at the same place in their lives as me (dont have kids) or do have kids, but things just dont work out you know ?

so anyway. take a break. see if once a week, you can find someone to babysit her for a while, and just take a walk or a drive or watch a movie or something. do something that recharges YOUR life. :) mine would be driving with the windows down and the music loud. it feels SO WIERD to not have my son in the backseat, talking away, but at the same time, it feels SO NICE. :)

oh yeah, and any stress you have is going to transfer over to your daughter, and its going to stress her out... so its possible that shes anxious because you are burnt out. its ok, its not your fault and you are not hurting her, shes just naturally and instinctivly worried. :) taking a break will help! :D

one more thing. i heard another quote somewhere and i printed it up on my computer in fancy letters and posted it in my kitchen where i would see it every day, and i also printed it up for my other mom friends.
the quote is this:

remind yourself every day "what my child needs most is a happy mother"

and make sure that you do something for you once in a while, if that means taking an entire nap break on the computer, or painting your toenails once a week, or going to get a massage once a month, or just taking a walk, or drive, whatever. :)
anyway,
good luck

Hi there, I know this may not be what you want to hear but.....this too will pass. Sorry. You must must must get out 2-3 times a week on your own, having fun without baby or hubby! My doctor even gave me an anti-depressant.....which I am usually totally against.....just for a few months to take the edge off. I stopped when my daughter turned 1 year old....she's 9 now.

I have not experienced exactly what you are feeling but I do know the sadness surrounding a fussy child....it took years before I was ready to try for another baby. My daughter had colic for 9 months.....I didnt' sleep, was always the mom with the crying baby and couldn't even work because I didnt' want to burden anyone else with the problem. I do remember that she had alot of ear infections....or near ear infections....that was one of the problems. I should have gotten ear tubes for her at an early age. Eventually it passed. When my son started fussing and had an ear infection I had tubes put in right away.....super great!

My sister however has a child just like yours. She actually needs to be touching her mom's hair all the time.....cries like crazy when she awakes from naps, was very fussy and crying and clingy. Her daughter is now 3 and is the most independent child.....but looking back I'm wondering again about ear problems....that would make anyone crabby.

Good luck, hang in there....maybe have her checked out at the doctor just to be sure.

H.
Take a deep breath. What you are feeling is normal. Being a mom is very stressful at times and yes its okay to just want to get away from your kids for a little bit sometimes.
This is probably just a stage. Just know.. as soon as she is crawling and walking you will have trouble keeping her happy by just holding her. She will want to go, go, go! Try to give yourself time away each week.. maybe grocery shopping alone (its amazing how easy it is alone!) or have dinner with a friend (I am taking an exercise class). You will find that you are excited to see your needy little one when you return. :)
Good luck!
C.