Seeking Advice from Moms with Very Fussy Newborns

Sometimes there is what the Dr calls the 4th trimester. The baby does not do well unless in the same feeling environment as in utero. You may have to hold the baby a lot for a few weeks. This too shall pass. Find a good carry pouch and keep him close.

I didn't read all the responses, so maybe someone has suggested this. But, I rented Steven Karp's "Happiest baby on the block" DVD from the library and it did wonders for us! It goes through the 5 S's and all but 4 worked on my son. It was amazing and I recommend it to every new parent - I may even watch it again for my 2nd one due in 2 weeks! Hang in there.

Have you tried the DVD "Happiest Baby on the Block"? It shows parents how to deal with fussy newborns using the Shhing, swaddling, swinging, and a few other "s" things *lol

It was a life saver for us!!!!!!!!!! Hope this helps.

It's normal... he's only just born 8 days ago.
Right now... besides being fed on demand... "bonding" is REAL SUPER important... this is also an intrinsic "building block" for a newborn and it is an instinct in a baby. He may just want to be with you, because only 8 days ago, he was in your womb all cozy and comfy... now in the big bright openness of this world, lots of things jar them... ie: noises, lights, smells, flushing toilets, too hot, too cold, textures on their skin... it's all strange for them yet. A newborn has not gotten used to being out of the womb yet... so, Mom is their "safety" and comfort, and they instinctively know that Mommy means "safety" and nourishment, AND it provides bonding for the baby. If a baby does not bond, its worse.

Each baby is different.. .and there is no telling how long this lasts... sorry.

try wearing him perhaps in a baby carrier, if that would suit you.

Also, make sure he IS nursing efficiently & latched on properly and you can see him actually swallowing... and getting enough intake. Feed on demand... and whenever he shows hunger cues. Sometimes with a newborn, they even feed every hour... because they are growing so quickly and breastmilk is metabolized/digested so quickly... he "may" just want to be at your breast... because he is hungry and needs more feedings. A hungry baby cries. THIS is also normal...
do NOT feed according to a 'schedule', he will not get enough intake this way.

And yes, babies just cry. Also, be sure to burp him, because newborns often have gas pains and this makes them cry as well.

All the best,
Susan

My mom is a doctor and she found over 30 years ago that potassium gluconate for mom, if she's breastfeeding, gets rid of the colic within 12-72 hours. Here's the deal, it takes about 1000mg of postassium each day for it to work usually. Potassium is standardized 99mg, so 10 of those at the beginning does it.

If that doesn't do it, many moms I know take their babies a chiropractor who specializes in pediatrics.
http://www.icpa4kids.org/research/children/colic.htm

Good luck.

PS The potassium worked for me/my son within 12 hours.

Very normal. Your little baby is brand spanking new! Congratulations Momma! Very exciting time - maybe not so much right this second.

I found with both of mine, we didn't get in to sync until about 8/9 weeks post partum - that's when the whole supply/demand kicked in and started working "right". Up to that point, they didn't fuss too much because I nursed on demand and met all needs - quickly. This all paid off, you will learn the hunger/diaper needs to be changed/gas, etc.. cries and how they differ and be able to respond. Just take this time with just you and baby and hold/nurse and enjoy. I know this next piece is tough but take care of yourself, nap when you can, eat well and drink plenty of water.

You are doing a great job!
M.

Very normal. But this is where you get to play detective. Try to find things in common of when it starts, it could be gas, or reflux or something worse or nothing at all. So try to pay attention to when he is most uncomfortable, and what little things make him feel better. Some babies love to be snuggled and others like to be left alone. My SIL feed her son then laid him on his belly for a half hour, he liked to wiggle around and work out his own burbs, other wise he just cried until you put him down. My friends baby cried every evening from 5 to 7 so she learned to take him for a walk, the stroller conforted him and he didn't cry while in the stroller. So play detective and figure out what works for you. Every kid is different so it won't necesarily be anything anyone else has tried.

Also remember when you have had enough it is ok to but him in a safe place (crib)close the door and take a break. If you can hear him he is fine. But sometimes it's very over whelming to hear constant crying and we need 10 to 15 minutes to pull ourselves back together. Yes moms need timeouts too. This way you won't ever have to worry about shaking or hurting him. (Not that you would, but we all have our limits). And most likely when you have had a moment to calm down you will be more in tune with his needs and be able to help him better. Don't ever let anyone tell you you are a bad mom for doing this. My hubby told me I shouldn't be a mother because I did this. But he never offered to take her and try to help me out or give me a break, so I could calm down myself. He just told me that a good mom would never leave her child to just cry it out. I told him I wasn't leaving her to cry it out, but that I knew I needed a break before I hurt her or was to out of control. If he thought he was a better person then he sould have helped me out and toke a turn instead of standing here putting me down. She is in a safe place I can hear her and I will take care of her in a few minutes. I think I toke 10 minutes, sang songs to myself and toke deep breaths then I went back in and held her and loved her and she calmed right down. Sometimes they can feel our tension & you being to stressed about it can make them more uncomfortable. Make sure you take care of mommy too because no-one else will. You sound happy to be a mommy I bet your a great one so think past the cries and find out why. God knows that you are the best person to help him out that's why he gave you this sweet angle.
Good Luck to your new family. J.

Dear C.,
Congratulations on you blessing. My middle son was that way. Sometimes swaddling them in a blanket helps. My son was only happy in a snuggly on my front at that age. Babies are all different. My oldest was a premie and slept most of the time for the first month.
H.

Congratulations, C.!! I do remember those days. Here is what helped us: "wearing" baby constantly in a sling/chest pack, snug swaddling when not in the sling (makes baby feel like they are still safe in the womb), nursing on demand and/or every two hours 24/7, mastering the gentle "jiggle" of the baby in your arms. Also, do some online research about foods nursing mamas should avoid. Could possibly be a gas issue in your little one. Very best of luck -- and hang in there!!! We've all been there and this very new phase does pass, as they all do :)

1. Pacifier
2. Happiest Baby on the Block-swaddling, shooshing, gentle shaking, sucking and put your baby on his/her side facing out.
I worked great for my baby! She never cried for more than 3-4 minutes using these methods!!
Good luck and hang in there, it gets better everyday.

C.,

Try cutting dairy and soy out of your diet - even dairy and soy hidden in other foods. My newborn screamed constantly until I did an elimination diet and got dairy and soy out of my milk. After that, he started sleeping for 5 hours at a stretch and being happy and content. Doctors don't believe in food allergies in breastfed babies but moms do.

My son is now 2.5 and he's still allergic to both dairy and soy. Needless to say formula probably would have killed him.

:-)T.

My son was the same way a bit later on (he was 3 weeks early). The video and book are by Dr. Harvey Karp (Happiest Baby on the Block). You are a busy new mom - get the video:)
Turns out my son was also hungry and I didn't make enough milk. I started supplementing with formula after each feeding. My supply was greater in the morning, so I increased the supplements throughout the day.
Try pumping for a day (and then bottle feedig him). It will give you a good idea of your supply.
Good luck!!

All normal, I'm afraid - no one tells you how hard infants are! Some sleep 13 hours at a stretch, some, well, cry 24 hours a day. Mine certainly did. If it turns out that your baby is colicky (often caused by gas and digestion issues) then the constant crying might go on for 12-16 weeks - and then will be gone. You might try holding the baby on his tummy, some babies find that soothing, and a sling is a great help as well. Keep sane, get sleep whenever you can! Some day you will not even remember this.

Hi C.,
It's tough in the beginning for these little ones- it's quite an adjustment from the womb.
I would learn how to do a very good swaddle when he gets fussy. If you need to, ask a nurse at the hospital to show you- they usually do a great one...
And I would definitely get a larger exercise ball 65-75cm depending on your height and hold him and gently bounce on it. This SAVED us!
If his crying is very high pitched and emergent I would definitely start looking into milk/soyprotein allergy diet (this was a huge part for us) and also GERD.
I hope this helps and he relaxes into this new life sooner than later.
S.

My firstborn son (now 9) was what Dr. Sears called "high needs". If he wasn't held in my or someone else's arms, he was crying. I learned how to use a sling. It saved my sanity.

My daughter (now 5) went through "the witching hour" where she cried from 5-7pm for a few weeks. I can't remember. Even holding wasn't working to stop it.

Aletha Solter has great advice on infant/young child crying.
http://www.awareparenting.com/articles.htm

Go and find Harvey Karr's video or book Happiest Baby on the Block. He's a former pediatrician who is an expert in calming fussy babies. This video has saved alot of parents from many sleepless nights. His techniques are amazing.

It seems so long ago that my baby and I were there, where you are : ) Yes, it's normal. They are so hungry and tired-and that's all! I would stop at your Pediatrician or at a le leche group and weigh your baby to make sure he's gaining 1/2oz-1oz daily. My milk wasn't dropping, so my son would nurse and not get milk : ( I had to wring my breast so the milk would drop. Additionally, what I found to be...interesting, was that I would nurse one breast, burp, then the other breast, he would sleep for 30 min to an hour, then be ready to eat again!! Your breast, as you can imagine, get very soar. The best thing is air!!! Go "National Geographic" (top-less)as much as possible. I know it sounds weird, but it's the solution to that problem when your breasts get raw. Congratulations!

Hi new mommy,
Yes, those first days it seems like all they want to do is breastfeed or cry. I really found that swaddling my daughter and using the swing helped to calm her. In fact, she loved her swing so much that was the only way I could get her to sleep for a period of time. Also, make sure that you take a break a few times a day or at night. Let Daddy or Grandma hold the baby and try to soothe the crying so that you can walk outside or go to Starbucks. My daughter also had acid reflux. I started noticing the symptoms (fussing at the breast, pulling off and crying when she had been nursing well) at a few weeks old. She was not diagnosed with it until maybe six to eight weeks. I should have trusted my instincts that something did not seem right. Seek help from your doctor or a good lactation nurse. Good luck to you. Don't worry, it gets better very soon. I have a wonderful 10 month old little girl, who still loves to breastfeed.
M. T.

Yes it is normal but sometimes there is a problem as with my son. He had spincter stenosis (tight anus and the muscle had to be stretched. Had to change peds to find this out at 4 months) and he was having reactions to vaccines. Started with the jaundice from the Hep B shot in the hospital and progressively got worse with each of the shots after that.

Please make sure YOU have done the research on vaccinations for YOUR child. The AAP recommended schedule of shots for children is too many, too soon. Here are sites and books that I always recommend for people to start their research:

www.909shot.com
www.tacanow.org

Healing the New Childhood Epidemics: Autism, ADHD, Asthma, and Allergies: The Groundbreaking Program for the 4-A Disorders, by Dr. Kenneth Bock

The Vaccine Book, by Dr. Robert Sears

What Your Doctor May Not Tell You About Childhood Vaccinations, by Dr. Stephanie Cave

Evidence of Harm, by David Kirby

Hang in there, C.! All babies are different, but this is not uncommon. You should probably check with your pediatrician to be sure everything is ok. It's very likely that baby is having trouble learning to digest and pass gas. Another common problem is reflux. Your doctor can help you diagnose either of these and give suggestions.

Some solutions for gas & digestive problems:
- gently rub the baby's tummy in a clockwise motion.
- move baby's legs in a bicycle motion
- hold baby with hand on tummy (baby is face down toward your arm), or while you're sitting, place baby with tummy across your thigh.

I highly recommend "What to Expect the First Year". We called this The Manual and spent a lot of time reading it at 3am ;-)

My daughter additionally really needed to suckle. We avoided the pacifier at first because we were told she could get nipple confusion. When we finally gave her the pacifier after 1 month (longest month ever) she was amazingly calmer. I didn't feel this impacted our nursing, but do what you feel is best!

She also wanted to be held a lot (that is, all the time). So definitely get yourself a baby sling/carrier/backpack. I had the one that is a big swath of fabric you wrap around yourself and slip the baby into. It is a life saver to be able to both hold the baby AND have your hands free!!

Definitely also agree with others on bouncing (exercise ball is great) and the "shush" sound. Apparently the shush sounds like what baby heard in the womb.

You're going to do just fine! Remember to call in your help and give yourself a break :)

Very normal! You have to remember that your baby has never known ANYTHING other than your womb, so every little thing is so very new and overwhelming to him right now! From light, to sounds, to objects/people all around him! It is normal for him to crave and need to be close to you (breastfeeding especially), since you are all he "knows" . It does eventually subside - some babies adjust quicker than others though! It's hard, but it is one of the many sacrifices that make motherhood so challenging - yet SO very rewarding! When you look back someday, you're gonna think "Wow, those first few weeks/months were so hard, but I kept my cool, kept everything under control and now and I can be PROUD of that". Good luck and CONGRATS!! :D

It will subside, but when you're 'in' it, it feels like forever. This too shall pass, really.
good luck

I second The Happiest Baby on the Block. Swaddling is very good for a baby that young.

Get the cradle swing, swaddle him, and put it on high! It works soooooo well. It saved my life!!!

Try to cut out ALL diary from your diet and see if this helps your baby. My little one had a hard time processing the protein in diary and I was on a diary free diet while I breastfed. As your pediatrician to test your baby's stool for blood.

One momma I know had a baby that would not quit fussing, she finally went to the doctor and found out that her daughter had acid reflux and was in pain... It took doctor intervention to stop that fussing. When my daughter was fussy, I found that burping her with a firm up moving hand helped. Start near the base of the spine and 'push' the gas up with firm patting on the back moving up the spine with each pat. also, laying her across my legs on her tummy and patting firmly helped.
lots of water (for you), lots of nursing (I could do about 20 min, then had to have a break before putting dd on the other side), lots of holding, and sleep when he does. I actually found that dd did better when I only fed her one side at a time, otherwise she spit up all she ate and was always hungry. go figure. BUT every baby is different so let your baby tell you how he is doing.
Good luck
R.

Your baby is just adjusting to life outside of the womb. I highly recommend The Happiest Baby on the Block dvd by Dr. Harvey Karp. It is amazing. It gives you tricks to soothe your little one. You try to make life outside of the womb just like being back in the womb. It worked wonders for us. Try swaddling and white noise to soothe your little one. Good luck to you.

Try changing your diet. My daughter did not like anything dairy that I ate. My friend's infant son had issues with soy, tomatoes, eggs and spicy foods. For several days eat nothing but rice, chicken, apples, and any other really, really low allergen, not gassy (broccoli, beans, etc are gassy) types of foods. Then keep a food diary and monitor your baby's mood along with what you eat. Hope you can figure it out!

My daughter was very fussy at night when she was a baby. My pediatrician told me to give her Camille tea with a little Karo's corn syrup to calm her. It worked but I would check with your ped first. Good luck.

Hello C.,

Congratulations!!

You are going to LOVE this!! It just gets better and better.

Have you tried a sling? I recommend the Maya Wrap becaseu you can nurse right from it, but you might prefer the Dr. Sears sling. Slings replicate the in-womb expereince for the child, and make them feel very secure and safe, and able to relax. Children in slings sleep more, and sleep longer... which is important, since brains grow during sleep cycles.

Also, it might be a tummy ache or gas -- try writing "L O V E" on her stomach. This massages her in just the right directions to relieve any constipation or gas.

Every phase lasts such a short time -- as mich as possible, embrace it, because as soon as you think you're going to have to live with it forever, it will change!

Lots of Love,
Linda

www.RivieraPlaySchool.com
www.RivieraPlaySchool.com/blogspot

Congratulations on your beautiful new baby. He will be the angel of your dreams when you get through this short phase. My son was the same way! It turned out that he had acid reflux and slowly recovered from both that and jondice(sp?) My son never did go for the sling unfortunatly but I hear those are a lifesaver. I basically had to rely on my friends and family to cook or I would make myself a quick pbj. I slept when he slept...and he would sleep the best on his belly..on my chest. Dont worry...this is just a phase and it will pass. Sleep when you can, shower when dad is home, and remember that this will become a distant memory very soon.

C. H

Usually it is normal. My son was like that for quite a long time but he also had stomach issues and a chronic ear infection that we didn't diagnose until 9 months. Eat a more bland diet and see if that helps. Some moms swear their kids act different if they eat spicy food. My sister wouldn't eat oreo's when she was feeding her first son because he would stay up all night! I had a really hard time dealing with my son's crying all the time. It's really easy to get frustrated and depressed when you aren't getting enough sleep and you feel like you can't make your baby happy. Get help from your family so you can have some time for yourself because babies also sense stress. My son was unhappy almost all the time for almost a year but now he is so awesome. I though I'd be totally crazy by the time he hit 2 years old but it's the opposite. I appreciate every second of him. I am blessed to have experienced such a tough time with him because now I am immune to temper tantrums and I can also be thankfull for the joy many moms take for granted because they don't know any different.

Bless you, I went through the same thing with my firstborn. He was only happy if he was nursing or if I held him. And yes, it had to be me -- not his daddy, his grandma, a babysitter, etc. It was rough. He screamed if I put him down and that went on all night too. ... OK, that said, he DID eventually grow out of it. It took what felt like forever. I think he grew out of the daytime screaming and got to the point where he was happy in the car, the stroller, doing errands, etc, or being cuddled by Daddy by the time he was about 4 months old. The nighttime battle went on much longer but that was because I kept nursing him to sleep every time he woke up at night. He was about 10 months old when it finally dawned on me that he no longer needed to nurse at night for nutrition's sake, it was just an ingrained habit we had to break to teach him to sleep through the night (breaking that habit took a couple of months so I suggest you do it before I did -- but for the first four to six months the baby needs to eat during the night so don't take this step without asking the pediatrician when your baby is ready.) ... Also ask the pediatrician about all the crying. Some babies have colic which is still a bit mysterious but basically they are gassy and have a lot of abdominal discomfort. My son did have a lot of gassiness every morning around 5 a.m.! We learned to massage his lower belly and gently fold his legs up to his tummy until he farted all the gas out, to put it bluntly. Then he'd go back to sleep. He grew out of that around three-four months old. ... My cousin had a baby who was miserable crying all the time, day and night. It took them many months to figure it out but eventually he was diagnosed with reflux. The doctor put him on medication to relieve it and after that he was a completely different baby -- relaxed and content. So there could be a lot of different explanations for your baby's distress. Keep asking the doctor questions, try different things to soothe him (hold him in different positions, try eliminating gassy foods like cabbage or broccoli from your diet so they don't get into your breast milk, try massage, etc.) If he's like my son it could be just a personality thing, and he simply wants to be held all the time as he adjusts to life in the big new world. If this is the case, hold him when he wants it -- get a Baby Bjorn or a sling to make your life easier. I really thought a few weeks after my son was born that my life was over, that he would never stop crying, that I'd never be able to even take a shower or go to the bathroom in peace (he'd scream his head off in his infant seat in the other room as soon as I walked away for two seconds) -- let alone leave the house -- and I was very frightened, depressed and totally sleep deprived. If you are getting to this point make sure you have help around the house or at least get your husband to hold the baby for half an hour while you take a walk around the block to clear your head, and talk to your own doctor about how to get some sleep and keep your sanity. This is a really, really difficult introduction to parenthood. However, take comfort -- it's temporary. Give your baby the security he needs by holding him if that's the only thing that calms him. My son grew out of this neediness. I finally knew for sure that I'd done everything reasonably OK when he went to preschool at age 3. A lot of other kids were crying and frightened when their parents dropped them off -- and my son, the one who absolutely pitched a bloodcurdling screaming fit as an infant if I put him down for a second, marched into the classroom, happiest kid in the world, kissed me goodbye and had zero problems with it. I was very proud of us both that day. Hang in there and good luck. It will get better. ... also, fyi, not that you're thinking of second baby right now, but when you get past this and start having those thoughts take comfort that all babies are different. My second baby was totally different -- calm, great sleeper, easy to entertain. There is justice! :-)

C.:
My kids are older now but I remember my son going through many days where all he did was nurse or sleep. It was when he was really young. I just learned to relaxed and enjoyed watching tv and even got in some naps. Too bad if the house was a mess. Enjoy the down time. I bet a lot of moms and babies go through this. You can clean your house next month.
S.

Don't worry, this is normal. My now 15-month old son was the same way when he was first born. As a new mom myself I thought something was always wrong. He also could only be consoled by being on the breast. When we brought him home he hated the car seat, the bassinet, the bouncy, and any surface we tried to place him on. He just wanted to be held ALL THE TIME. I finally got used to it and realized that he was just a "high needs" baby who wanted to be held by mommy or daddy all the time. Even now he occasionally wants to just be carried by mommy instead of walking himself. He's perfectly normal and a wonderful kid. He just loves to be held by us.

Good luck on your baby.

B. D.