Heloo ladies, I am in dyer need for some help. My 7 month old is a very happy little girl, until you leave her side. Then she starts to cry and whine until you return to her side or pick her up. Her childcare provider has noticed this for a while now. But she would never do it at home. However, now she is doing this at home. I will lay her on the floor with several toys to play will and as soon as I get up and walk in the other room she starts to cry. I don’t know what to do. I can’t stand hearing her cry, it breaks my heart, but sometimes I just have to let her. Because I need to shower, get ready for work, and do house work. I am a single mother, so it’s just her and I at home. I’ve tried the 5 minute, 10 minute, thing, where I come back in the amount of time to show her that I am still here. I also try to talk to her and that doesn’t seem to calm her down until I am right in front of her face. Does anyone have any ideas on how to fix this problem?
Any advice would be greatly appreciated.
Thanks!
My son went threw that stage too. And like most moms I wanted to tear my hair out!! One thing that got us threw this horrible stage is playing peek a boo and hide and seek. I know it sounds pretty simple but trust me....it really works. How found out playing little games with babies is the best solution. I know it seems like forever right now but she will soon get out of that stage. Hang in there!!
As many other mommies did, I swear by the bouncy seat! It keeps them occupied, and they are standing on there own feet, which they love!
You're doing a wonderful job, it just sounds like she is really attached to you, which she should be. When she's 16, you'll be begging for that bond back!
hope this helps,
E.
We had the same problem. We bought a Jumperoo and our son loves it. I'm at home during the day with him and when I need to take a shower or whatever I set him in there and turn the radio on and he just loves to look around. It is kinda pricey but it was well worth it!! we got a lot of use out of it
(Developmental Guidelines: Use the Fisher-Price Deluxe Jumperoo only for a child who is able to hold head up unassisted and who is not able to climb out.)
Have you tried wearing her? The benefits are twofold - first, you can get things donehile keeping her close and happy, and second, you teach her that you will always be there to meet her needs which will foster independence.
It sounds like you have a wonderful daughter that is very attached to her mommy. It may help if you get some special toys or books and put them in a bag. When you need to be away, let her play with the special toys. This may distract her a little from her fear of being away from you.
with my two i would put them in the bathroom with me as i took a shower, in a bouncy seat. helped some. they could atleast be in the same room anyway.
it has to be hard, i can only imagine, being a single mom and still needing to get a few things done around the house.
as much as it's hard to listen to her cry.. it's probably a phase that she will gradually move out of. like when they go through the stranger danger phase..or the crying at the drop of a hat phase..lol lol so many phases..lol
have you tried music playing while you are not in the room? or a movie/tv show? i know it's frowned upon my some but sometimes you have no other choice and if it's the right show/movie it can be entertaining/enjoyable/educational.
i have these two dvds- the praise baby collection for 1-36 months. "worship music and fun interactive video tht provides a nurturing environment for baby's spirit and mind" so the box says:-)
I have these two dvds, as i said..lol that my two kids haven't watched in a very long time. i would be more than willing to pass them along to you if they were up your alley. since they are faith based i wouldn't want to just assume it was up your alley.lol lol
let me know
____@____.com
T.
Sounds like it just might be the age of your daughter. This is the time that they start to have some separation issues. I have 2 kids, now 8 and 5. I sometimes would sit them in a bouncer seat and bring them to the room that I was in. I sometimes showered with the door open-with them in their exersaucer. Sometimes you do just need to let them cry it out. The phase should pass in a few weeks. Sounds like you are doing the right things. We had to do the 5 min, 10 min thing at night with my son. It is horrible when you are going thru it, but it does work.
Best wishes
K. L.
It's called separation anxiety and you can't really fix it. Just reassure her that you are there, if you are in the other room talk or sing to her so she knows you are still there. Then come back. Always tell her "I'll be right back" and never sneak away when dropping her off at daycare. It make take a month or two or longer but she will eventually realize that you always come back and she will settle down. This is just one of those developmental things that babies do through. It is heartbreaking, but she'll grow out of it. You are her world right now. But as she gets older and her world expands more she'll realize it's okay and that she's safe even when she can't see you. Hang in there and make sure you give her lots of hugs when you come back.
I, too, am a single mom...I understand your frustration not being able to leave the room for a second. My son did it, too. He's a year old now...but when he was around that age I used the "Johnny Jumper" a lot when I was in the shower, or doing laundry, or folding clothes in the bedrooms. I was able to keep him within eye sight so he seemed to be content...plus he loved(es) to bounce. You just stick it on the door frame and put the kid in! It's cheap, it's a simple solution...but it's priceless when you have a handful of things to do around the house!
I'd also continue to talk to her- that should soothe her a little, too. She'll start crawling soon- then she can follow you around where ever you go and you shouldn't have to worry about is as much.
Hope that's a little helpful for you!
Hi M.,
Your child may be going through a separation phase. This is not unusual and really nothing to worry about. She will absolutely grow out of it, you just have to give her time.
The way I handle this with my daycare children is this: I sit on the floor with toys and distraction things in front of us. I sit the baby on my leg and begin picking up toys and talking about them while every once in awhile shifting the baby from leg to leg. Eventually I sit the baby on the floor, with the baby's back against me and my arm firmly around the baby. Do that for a few minutes. Then I begin to release my arm, the entire time talking to them. I distract them and begin to move backward, an inch or two at a time. I continue to do this until I am completely not touching them though my legs are still bordering them in. Eventually they will crawl away, or I can just slide backwards and get up. This whole process can take between 5 - 10 minutes. I know this sounds tedious but in essence, they have to learn to be away from you. There may be crying, that's okay. But evenually your baby will learn that it's okay to be away from you. It certainly helps when they start to crawl and they can get to some really interesting stuff! You should only have to do this for a short time, maybe a week or two, maybe once or twice a day. She just needs to know that when she is really fretting, that you are there. Just don't let this become a habit as you won't always have 5 - 10 minutes to do this whole process.
On a different note. It's okay to let your child cry. Put her in her crib and take your shower. She will be fine.
Good luck and let us know how everything is going!
C.
I think you are doing a great job. She is going thru a phase and it will pass. Just keep being consistant with her and talk to her when you are not in the room and eventually she will start calming down. Also I recommend while you are busy and cant talk to her, like in the shower, have something playing like the radio or the TV. She is still too young to pay too much attention to the shows but that added noise and sound of people can help her settle down. I highly recommend some Dora shows, because Dora is a great influence on babies. My 2 yr old loves her and pretty much will only watch that show. It gives me a half hour break from her, plus Dora teaches her all kinds of great stuff. Her first word was at 9 months and was DORA!! Her vocabulary is quite excellent, including some spanish words and she knows how to count to ten and is learning her colors and shapes without me having to stand over her and try to teach her myself. Yeah, she has to dress in Dora clothes, have Dora blankets and so on, but its a small price to pay, in my book, for just that bit of time where she isnt obessessing over me!! My 8 month old kind of watches it now, my 2 yr old was hooked by 6 months, and she lets me get somethings done with it. I hope this helps, I know lots of people will be horrified by the TV suggestion, but trust me its a plus to me if you find the right shows and to me any Nick Jr show is worth it. Good Luck!
My son does this but only once and awhile. I noticed it right before his tooth came through. Now he is doing it again. I'm betting it's another tooth. He is a mommy's boy but he still loves to cruise around on his own. Maybe it is a tooth. It strange but me holding him seems to help his sore gums...go figure.
Hi M.,
I had one ofmy boys who did the same thing, and like another person said it was at teething time, but what I would do is when I had to shower or clean was I took his bouncy seat to the bathroom with me and while I showered I talked to him, while I was cleaning I just moved him from room to room with me. If I had to step out of a room to put something up I would make a game out of it and run back giggling or yelling where's mommy... here she is (gotta love ice age).
During that time I was a military wife and mostly alone, my hubby deployed alot and was in Iraq so it was me with 3 kids. It will get better though, keep your head up.
It sounds to me like your baby has separation anxiety. This is very common and in some babies it does start this early, though more commonly not until about a year old. You can visit this link http://www.drgreene.com/21_1183.html to get more information and even do more of your own research on the web. I go to DrGreene.com a lot when I have baby/developemental questions. I am surprised your daycare provider isn't accustomed to this unless she hasn't had a very little one around in a long time. Stranger anxiety also tends to appear at this time so your baby who was very happy with just about everyone before may become very standoffish with people other than you now. It is tough but it does get better.
Hope this helps and I really hope my link works.
B.
Omaha, NE
You mentioned that your daughter is really upset until you're right in front of her face. Do you know if her eyesight is ok? A friend of mine had a son who acted "crazy" until he was 3. At that point she noticed that he always held his books really close to his face. She got his eyes tested and... he needed really thick glasses. Maybe your daughter is afraid because she can't see you or anything else very well????
Hi M..
Unfortuantly there is no way out of this kind of situation. I too am in that same situation. I have a little girl who will be one on the 26th of this month and it has been that way since she was 2 weeks old. I am now having to take her in the bathroom and put her on the floor with toys while I take a 10 min shower. frustrating at times yes, but there is no easy way to get around it. keep your chin up and now that in time she will be more independent!
