7 Year Old Watched a Commercial That Now Makes Her "Sad" Before Bed... Advise?

It started out as fear and now she wants you to give her a lot of attention. This has become a habit. You need to stop discussing it. I suggest that the next time she wants to watch a movie at home, you tell her "Gee, honey, I'm sorry, but I'm not going to let you watch movies that might make you cry at night. When you can act like a big girl and stop crying about being scared, then I can start letting you watch movies again." All of a sudden, she has an incentive to stop this.

you really never know what's going to hit a kid in a vulnerable place. i remember the song 'morningside' used to send one of my little brothers into howling paroxysms of grief. even thinking about it would set him off.
no, you can't make her forget it. but you do handle it calmly and without drama. it's fine to hold and soothe a hysterical child, but you don't add to the drama by joining her in the drama dance. at bedtime i would nip it in the bud before the hysteria gets fired up. 'annabelle, tonight we're not going to do the crying and screaming. it was a movie. we're going to read some alice in wonderland, and then you and teddy are going to snuggle in together and go to sleep.'
be kind, warm and firm.
remind her that she's in charge of what she lets play in her head, and that she can put whatever pictures she wants in there.
7 is an age of wonder, and for the most part it's awesome. there's no doubt that it's also an age where this sort of out-of-control imagination can get the best of a little person.
take a good solid middle ground. you don't want to abandon her to her fears, however unfounded they are, but you also don't want to give them weight and credence by treating them as if they're logical. this is one of the best opportunities to parent effectively- be strong and comforting, and let your calm permeate her.
if she cries after bedtime, just put your head in the door and say (calmly) 'time to change the pictures in your head.'
wouldn't hurt to help her come up with some inner movies to run when she needs to. mine would all have involved ponies.
khairete
S.

I would treat this really differently depending on if it's anxiety based fear vs attention seeking. I guess that's where I would start.

If it's attention seeking - I would not reward her behavior - I'd reward it when she didn't act up.

On the flip side, I have a little one who had anxiety. Not major, but it would flare up at times. She became fixated on one concern. And would become very distraught. We've since had her in a program and it's really helped.

Originally I thought the thing she fixated on was the problem (bus) but it wasn't. She had underlying anxiety. I don't know how long I thought of ways to fix the bus problem, but it wasn't helping. That's when her teacher suggested she might benefit from our anxiety program.

What we do - with the anxiety program - is listen and validate their worries.

Then you go through their concern and the worst possible scenarios. They tell you. So if your daughter said "My worst fear is that the little girl would not get help and would die" then you say "Do you think her mom would be there, or someone watching her?" And they say "Yes, I think so". So then you say "Do you think the mom would do something?" and they say "Yes, they would take them to see a doctor.." and so on ... Once you do that a few times, the kids can do it themselves. See that their fears can be handled. It's not about getting rid of the fear so much as teaching them coping techniques to handle them.

It's a simple technique but has been highly effective for our little girl.

If she gets hysterical, you do deep belly breaths. You can google this. Milkshake breathing.

But I'd try to figure out if it's just a habit that has formed vs an underlying problem. How's her eating? Any other outward signs of upset? Good luck :)

I suggest you stop talking about it. Sympathize with how she feels without trying to convince her that the girl is Ok. Perhaps she can't believe the girl is OK because the story doesn't fit with what she knows about being sick and falling and being cured.. Kids this age are very black and white in the way they think. Also, the line between reality and fantasy is fuzzy.

She is wanting you to validate how she feels. "Honey, I'm so sorry you feel so miserable." If she can accept a hug, hug her. Perhaps remind her you are keeping her safe. Then distract her with a bath, reading a story or a quiet time playing. I also suggest you mix up the bedtime routine. After this much time, the fear and tears have become part of the routine.

Don't you just love how even a pre-view at a movie (or some other somewhat innocent thing) can get our kids all worked up?
At 4 yrs old our son was invited to a movie birthday party - parents could stay - and the movie was Spy Kids.
Everyone enjoyed it.
But the lava monsters scared our son - for that part of the movie he was on my lap.
He was FINE for the rest of the birthday party - but he then had nightmares for WEEKS afterward about those lava monsters.
You have to stop talking about it.
They come up with "But Mom, that monster was scary" and you have to be "I know. but it's all over now and it was make believe. Now let's read about <what ever happy little story for bedtime you have> and get ready for bed!".
And then you talk about the happy story ending as much as possible.

Maybe you just need to directly address her fears. It sounds like maybe her issue is that she's seeing her own vulnerability as another young girl...like she could get hurt, fall out of a tree, get some sickness, etc. She probably doesn't realize she's doing that but I would just straight up talk about how it's sad that even small children get sick or have injuries or whatever but just say that you are here to protect her and love her and you hope that nothing like that ever happens to her.

Your current approach just isn't validating her feelings I think and it's making her more emotional. Don't dwell too much on it, just be matter of fact, give hugs and kisses, and try to leave her. Tell her that if she wants to talk more about it in the morning you're available.

My dd has this problem too. I always have to remind her that these things are only make believe and they are trying to get a reaction out of people. I had to train my daughter how to separate herself from these commercials. When she sees the pets who are neglected (asking for money for shelters, etc.) she gets upset. I have to keep reminding her that these commercials are not real, that most pets live better in this country than many people around the world, etc.

I like what Margie G. said on how best to handle it. It sounds like anxiety. I would tell her what Margie G. aid and I'd put a call into her doctor to inquire about anxiety. Then I'd call her pediatrician and ask to speak to a counselor about it. Just to get some insight and help. Again, she sounds anxious. I'm sure to a young girl of her age.....to see a tramatic thing like falling out of a tree is disturbing enough. Also, some kids are more sensitive than others. She will most likely just get over this in time. Just try to put her fears to rest by soothing her as best you can. I would definitely put a call into her doctor, though. He/she
may want to have you bring her in to talk to her.