How to Handle "Monsters"??

I just explained to my son at this age that monsters aren't scary. Elmo and Cookie Monster are both monsters, and they are friendly and love children. I would remind him of this when he mentioned it, and that seemed to put an end to it. Good luck!

i agree it can be tricky, because monster-banishing does give the back-handed affirmation that they do exist. but since as you so wisely state the FEAR is real, i tend to proceed on that.
i got my two young nieces stuffed monsters to protect them from nightmares (monsters would work too.) you can make up tales of valor to go along with these guardians to help bring them to life and help make their job of protection a bit easier. another good tactic i've found is 'monster spray', a spray bottle of water with a few drops of fragrant essential oil and some crystals tinkling around in the bottom. monsters HATE that.
:) khairete
S.

My daughter went through the monster stage briefly. What we did was any place that she was a afraid that a monster was hiding we turned on the lights and looked before bed. If it was under the bed or in the closet we got flash lights and made sure to look in every corner before going to bed. If she did not bring up the "monster" issue I did not remind her. We did have a night light, but she was allowed to keep a flash light next to her bed, just in case. Then I would spray a little bit of "monster spray" (A.K.A. Febreeze) and turn off the lights. The monster thing was very short lived in our house. :)

Sesame Street is full of monsters. Not all monsters are scary. She needs to know she can have "monsters" that are on her side, that "protect" her from any monsters that try to scare her. She may be getting the ideas from some of the Halloween stuff coming out for the holiday, but she needs to be empowered (which is why the muppets on SS are monsters, BTW). She needs strategies she can use so that when she's a little scared, she can call on her own monster crew to help her fight off the fear. There are books (There's a Monster at the End of this Book--told by Grover from SS) and there are even little monster stuffed animals that she could sleep with. She's just being very normal and healthy and telling you that sometimes her powerful imagination is taking her in directions she doesn't want to go. You can help her take control of her imagination and make it work for her. It's a skill she will use her whole life. Good luck!

i created something called "monster spray". it was a bottle of vanilla scented air freshener. i put a new label on it that i designed. my boys and i would squirt it all around... under beds, in the closet... where ever they thought a monster would be. i told them that monsters "hate" anything that smells good and the boys would say..."i can smell it! it's working." they would go to sleep with a sweet smell in their rooms.

the other thing i started doing when they were little was play hide and seek in the dark throughout the house. it wouldn't be totally dark in the house... maybe it was still dusk outside. we would have glow sticks or small flashlights. i would restrict the hiding spots to one level of the house and we would take turns hiding. the rest of the family would sit in one spot and loudly count to 20 or 30 or 40 or 50... the larger the number as they got older. i think it helped teach the boys how to count as well. once we reached our number... we'd yell, "ready or not! here we come!" and we'd go look for whomever was hiding. it was big fun. sometimes all you had to do was hide behind a door or under a blanket.

my boys are 7 and 11 and neither one is afraid of the dark. we still play hide and seek in the dark. we've gotten pretty creative with our hiding spots.

I made a game of it. I armed my son with a pretend monster fighting gun, and armed myself. We looked under the bed together and in the closet and then "pow, pow, pow" scared the monsters away.

Monsters don't like dogs and cats and we always had them. Also at night monsters don't like lullabyes so I played lullabye tapes. They don't like lights do we had a night lite. Make it a little game. When she does something good like eat her veggies or all her food, tell her monsters don't like kids who eat macaroni and cheese, or broccoli or whatever.
In the basement maybe leave the light on so she can see down there.
Monsters also change. At 2 she doesnt' know what a monster is. At four it might be that she is afraid of a certain type of monster, a nighttime creature, say an owl, or dogs, or bogeyman.
I would limit her exposure to certain children;s books and movies until you are certain she can handle them. That includes most Disney movies.

Without agrreing that monsters are real....

Sit down with her and google 'how to get rid of monsters in your house', I just did....click on one and you and her can follow the rules....

I love Cindy's answer about telling her you have a monster free house.

Take her during the day with a lot of lights on to the basement. Do something she REALLY loves to do only in the basement (playdough, music, dancing, anything fun and happy) to prove that you have in fact gotten rid of the monsters!

Good Luck!

I actually haven't had to deal with that really.
My son is kinda funny..He LOVES monsters. He's about the same age as your daughter. His favorite movie is The Nightmare Before Xmas & Monsters Inc.

You could try and make monsters a happy, non scary thing. Not that that would be really easy to do at this point.
I do agree with not telling them they don't exist & how that could invalidate their feelings.

My sister tells her kids that there are monsters in their house all the time and if they don't go to bed, the monters will come and get them (I know - crazy). Her kids have since told my kids about monster and I repeatedly tell my kids that we have not invited monsters in our house and therefore there are no monsters. I've heard of other moms spraying with anti-montster spray around the house, but I personally wouldn't do that. You can also say when you purchased this house, you made sure it was monster free and paid extra for it. :)

Good luck.

Depends. We've had the same issue for about 2y now.

If its that she (4y) has to go into the dark kitchen alone, I tell her that I was just in there. They've left. Go turn on the light and you'll see.

If its bedtime and she says she can't sleep because they'll come, I tell her to tell them that its bedtime and you can't play now. they'll have to come back when she's awake. If they get mad, I'm right next door and they can come ask me themselves..... okay mom.

My daughter started the monster thing right around the same age, she now is almost 3. I just told her that "there was NO WAY that monsters would be in OUR house, they would be BORED because they don't like little girl's houses, I think they like little boys houses (hehe), and plus Mommy has all of the doors locked, they wouldn't be able to get in!" I only had to tell this story, maybe 3 times, and now doesn't talk about them anymore. Whatever you do tell her, she will believe you. Good luck!

With my daughter (3) she is afraid of monsters, zombies and skeletons at night when she goes to bed. I also have heard to not downplay their thoughts so this is what I tell her (may not be the best but it works so far!). I tell her monsters and that such are pretend, like dragons (or whatever). But I tell her if they were real, they still could not come into her bed because at night they have to go home to their mommy's and daddy's because it's their bedtime. She likes the idea that they have to go home and go to bed!! I have some bed spray (bath and body) that I plan on using as 'monster spray' if she continues to talk about them.

Play along with it. The monsters are real to them. So I told my kids that our big dog ate the monsters before they could get inside. When the dog died, my son was concerned about the monsters getting in. The indoor cats ate the monsters instead. I have heard of people using a spray bottle and spraying anti-monster water to keep them away.

Theres a vege Tale's movie called "Wheres God when I'm scared" It's about a kid whose afraid to go to sleep. Its really cute and theres a song that we sing every time my son gets scared at night that makes him feel better.

Well, you can say monsters do exist but only in the imagination. Imagination is a powerfull thing and can play tricks on you!! After awhile, I think she will become less scared as time goes on.

Try the book Harry and the Terrible Whatzit the less scared Harry is the smaller the monster gets

My son is just a little older than your daughter and has started to worry about monster cats under the bed after a scary experience at my mom's house when her cat got under the bed and was making weird noises and clawing at the bottom of the bed. We started telling him to say, "go away cats! Get out of there!" Then he'd look under the bed and say, "yup, they're gone!" We still tell him they're not real/not really there, and I think he knows that, but giving him something to do about it seemed to help. He hasn't even talked about it recently except for in a, boy that was funny when Grandma's cat went crazy sort of way.

I remember being four or five and having nightmares and was very afraid of monsters at night. My big brother made me a Lego "gun" to sleep with. I can still remember how much better that made me feel that there was something I could do to help myself and that I knew my big brother really loved me! One night I "used" my plastic laser gun in my dream and then I stopped having the nightmares so often.

Monster spray cured our monsters and nightmares! We used some lavender essential oil suspended in water in a small spray bottle. Every night it was, "Monsters, monsters, GO AWAY!"

I wonder if having the bottle to spray on the door would help her. Explain that there are good monsters (look a Sesame Street) and bad monsters. The monster spray will make the bad monsters go away...they can't stand the smell! The good monsters, our friends, like Telly and Elmo, can stay!

There is a children's book called THERE'S A MONSTER UNDER MY BED that you'll want to get.

My four y.o. daughters have been asking about monsters since about that age.... they've never been afraid of monsters. Early on we told them that monsters are make-beleive characters; or that they are in costume on tv and it really is an actor under the costume.

To this day (especially around halloween) they ask, in a confirming tone, to ensure themselves that monsters are make-beleive, and are characters. We always re-explain with the same explanation we've been using since they were two. They do not get visibly scared or use it as an excuse to stay awake, but just ask questions for confirmation.

When my now 6 yo was 3, he was terrified of monsters. I would tell him, "I assure you there are no monsters in this house, but if it will make you feel better, I'll spray for them". I'd then make up some "anti-monster spray" (anything you can spray profusely & still like to smell works). I'd then spray down the areas of concern.

It's a tough call since all of the advice says "don't invalidate" and "don't say they exist". This was my attempt to let him know I took his feelings seriously without acting like monsters might be lurking in the closet.

For what it's worth, you daughter may be seeing or hearing something in the basement that = monster to her. We had to move some electronics that, to our son were, "red eyes in the backyard" (two red lights reflected in the window).

You may want to go down there with her (I'd hold hands and carry my spray) and ask her to tell you what she's seeing and hearing that makes her think there's a monster down there. And to be fair, I tend to be terrified of the basements with doorways...