7 Yr Old Boy Kicked Out of 3 Schools for Behavior

As mentioned previously please research ODD and aspergers. My son has aspergers, but not ODD. The obsession w/cars and photographic memory sound like Aspergers while everything else definitely sounds like ODD.

Best of luck,
K.

My son (7) has a friend who was just diagnosed with ODD. The behavior sounds similar in a lot of ways. The boy is getting therapy now.

i have not read any of the responses yet- from what you described at the end along with everything else, this sounds to me as a form of Autism called Aspergers (spelling may be wrong, sorry). I would look into that and have him evaluated. Sounds like he is a very smart boy. Let us know how everything is going.

I agree with the previous response. Contact your school district, he need to be thoroughly evaluated and placed in an intervention program.
If the therapist you are seeing is not working out for you, get another opinion. You should be given advice on how to better parent him during these sessions as well (not that you're not doing your best, but with a challenging child we sometimes need help).
Good luck.

Get him in to a psychiatrist or neuropsychologist right away for an evaluation (school districts can only evaluate for special learning accommodations through an IEP or 504 plan, and can't diagnose). It sounds to me like he has a medical condition and you can get help for him at this age. Look up ODD (oppositional defiant disorder ... which would be my guess here based on the symptoms you've described) and ADHD online and see if either sounds like a possibility. Our son has ADHD and had similar troubles in school. Now that he's being treated, he's thriving in school and at home. No more "bad kid" label. Our son is also extremely smart, which is very common in kids with ADHD. Your son may have one or multiple conditions, or could just be a defiant kid (although at only seven, I would think that alone is unlikely).

Good luck!

Have your son evaluated by a neuropsycologist and if you do not get answers go to another. Ignore the responses suggesting that the problem is due to your discipline methods, It sounds that your son has something going on that is more than just a discipline issue. Also, Request that the school administer educational testing, your son may have a learning disability or he may be gifted or both. Often gifted children act out due to boredom and frustration. Good Luck

My son has ADHD & ODD and he doesn't act like this. He has had some behavior problems, but more like talking to much or fidgeting-nothing like you have described. They do not have a medication that can treat ODD by itself and ADHD medication only helps ODD very little. I think that this is a deeper problem. With his obsession and his intelligance it sounds more like a mild autism. Autistics DO NOT like change at all and need a very strict schedule. Any change in the schedule at all can cause tremendous upset and tantrum. Im not sure if this is the problem but I agree with the other mothers-he needs to see a behavior specialist and also a child psychiotrist. Many children are diagnosed every year with psycological problems. It doesn't make them bad, just different. When you find out what the problem is, only then can you find solutions. It would help you as well, then you can understand and have pro's teach you how to deal with everything at home. Hope it helps.

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Your child needs help immediately. You can and should force the issue with doctors and your school district to get some kind of diagnosis for him so that he can start receiving services. The next time that your child hurts someone, encourage them to press charges so the police make a report. If your child starts acting up at his new school, encourage them to contact social services so they will be forced to step up to the plate. If you child is truly out of control at home, to the point of hurting himself or others, contact your county's crisis line and ask that he be put in a safe place (lock down psychiatric facility). Normally I would not suggest such extreme measures - as a mom to 2 special needs kids who have a number of these same behaviors, I believe that there are other ways to deal with these issues if they are dealt with earlier on. I think that you may be past that point if he is being agressive with adult and laughing at authority figures (i.e., police).

Good luck.

I have had some very in depth training on a program called The One Week Parenting Miracle. After reading through your question, I feel very strongly that this program can help him. It is online therapeutic training for parents on how to deal with their out of control pre-adolescent children. Although it is targeted at older kids, I use the discipline system with my two toddlers and it has helped a lot with tantruming. It sounds like you have tried a lot of things, I'm sure you're so frustrated! This system teaches loving but firm discipline, and teaches parents to always win the power struggle. Go to www.oneweekparentingmiracle.com. I'm sure you're skeptical right now of programs and trainings because you've tried so many, but really give this one a chance. If you are consistent it really does work. I'm so sorry you're going through this! I'm sure it is not easy. Good luck, and I hope this will help you!

Your son sounds smart. Maybe he doesn't want to conform and be the little robot that the schools want him to be. I'd homeschool him and let him pursue his own interests if I were you.

You've mentioned therapy, but I wonder if you have taken your son specifically to a Behavioral Psychologist. They tend to work more with those things that are driving the behavior and helping the child to cope vs. the behavior itself as a general psychiatrist would

It is clear from everyone's comments and your description that this isn't an issue of your son just being 'out of control' - I'm guessing there is something that has made your child's day to day experience different from other children but he is able to hold it together outside of the structured requirements of the school setting.

His obsessive interests and repeating conversations back are coping mechanisms for something and you'll have to be his advocate to find out what that is - unfortunately our schools can't diagnose, only help you after you get that diagnosis.

I don't know how far away youare from the Kansas city area, but I have some doctor recommendations if you want them.

My son was never kicked out of school but he was very disruptive and angry. We did therapy, we seen a behavioral psychologist, the neurologists, a week long observation at a facility, medication, oh and don't forget the meeting with 9 people(school,therapist,and etc.) to tell me that he just needs my attention. He was diagnosed as ADHD and brain seizures. Dr put him on medication for both. They really pushed for the stimulants and I refused so he is on Straterra. They also put him on Tegratol for the brain seizures. Which I think was rubbish about the brain seizures I took him off of this medication. I made the decision that my son could be just as normal as any other child I just needed to teach him he had to work harder at it than other children. In the beginning it was alot of sitting with him to get him to understand that he was not the boss I was and if that meant I spent every night sitting at the table with him then that was the sacrifice I would need to make. As the years went on the behavior would diminish a little each time. Now don't get me wrong we still have little behaviors such as talking alot, not listening, still wets the bed, but this is do able. He takes 50mg of Straterra one time a day for school he is not medicated in the evenings, weekends, or summers. He is a very intelligent young man. I have entered him into a private school and they do a wonderful job of keeping him busy and not letting him get bored. He was and is very manipulative(which the public school did not want to understand just wanted to say I was not giving him any attention) the private school knows that you have to be very strict with him and not cave on anything because he will have as his puppet before you know what is going on. The beginning was very rough and I cried alot not knowing if he would grow up and be okay or would he be violent. Also he does not have a father figure in his life and today he I a very loving, intelligent, respectful, young man who has high hopes and big dreams. I hope to be able to take him off of his medicine completely at about 13-15 yrs old. I have a friend who's son is more extreme and was diagnosed slightly autistic with ODD. He has to take different medicines but she used the same technique that I did with just alot of sitting and talking and he is doing alot better. He as well had been kicked out of every school and daycare he attended. As the years go on he as well gets bettter and better. I DO NOT agree with medicating kids just so you do not have to deal with them and that is why my son is on the lowest dose of a none stimulant and ONLY at school I deal with him the rest of the time. I know a long post but I hope this helps some. Let us know how it turns out!!

My 8 y/o son has had similar issues in school for the past 3 years. He was diagnosed ADHD and ODD when in 1st grade and we've seen improvments thru different meds and counseling. We did have a major backslide in 3rd grade this year and he was hospitilized to work with finding a better med. We also had an IEP done so we could get more options on services. We have since moved him to a school that has a special behavior class (more 1 on 1 interaction) and he's like a different kid at school now. It's gone from calls just about every day at the old school to only 1 call in 2 1/2 months. There are options out there, you just have to get the ball rolling in the right direction. Good luck!

Your son sounds very intelligent and part of the problem may be that he is bored at school. I would highly recomend listenly to Ray Guarendi and reading his books on discipline/ child behavior.

This sounds like my son to a degree, he is normally sweet and kind, but on a few occasions in school he has dug his heels in refusing to listen to the teacher, talking back, and sometimes laughs when he is being talked to about the negative behavior. He too becomes obscessive with things like monster trucks, sports, etc....We have an appointment (made over a year ago) w/a neurologist for this June. The school is aware he has a problem and have placed him in an Autism Spectrum Disorder class, which also mainstreams w/the 2nd grade class, I am going to begin him on the gluten free casin free diet...I know a mom who has tried it w/her daughter and had great results...and this was pointed out to me by the teacher :) So, I figure it is with a try ......I have seen and know many children on medications and although I am sure it helps some, the side I see is usually negative. And right now we are still able to handle it and the school seems to be supportive so far...call his doctor and see what advice he gives you. Good luck and take care :)

My brother was like this, almost exacltly, except he was also extremely violent. (he was adopted and had extreme attachment and borderline disorders) ~
he had to be put in boys homes and constant counseling for many years.

Good luck, I know it's a tough road, perhaps a good live in boys program can help, though they are very costly. I am unsure if/how much insurance would cover if you decide to try that route.

You haven't said anything about his home life, and judging from his behavior, that is what is causing these problems. It sounds like something is going on at home that causes him to be aggressive and want excessive attention at school. I strongly encourage you to home school this child since schools are not equipped to pay so much attention to any one student. That should help him calm down. I also suggest you take a hard look at what's going on at home that's making him feel he has to be physical and defiant to get attention.

Have your school district do a functional behavioral analysis. They can collect data and look for patterns. Having some information may help set a path of what to do to help him.

Good luck.

I can't really give you any reasonable ideas for the hitting, kicking and just rude, but maybe just on the part of getting a good education you should try homeschooling, it is fun for both parents and child & that could also help in part with his behavior/attitude. If a child is needing or wanting more one on one time homeschooling will provide that. I wish you alot of luck!

Good luck is the first thing I have to say. With my daughter we use a chip system she would get a chip for good behavior and lose one for bad behavior. She could then cash her chips in for a educational toy or a health food.I would also try a diet elimination. Start with red dyes ,caramel coloring, artificial sweeteners and MSG. Spanking does no good, time outs and losing privileges work the best, with a child like this spanking just beget violence with violence. My daughter is now 28 and still fights with it every day and has her moments. But you will survive.

Maybe you can homeschool him? He needs to see a Dr, or your discipline methods are not consistent enough. Where is his dad? Does your husband allow him to behave this way?

You have received many helpful responses. I have many more questions, such as: When did this behavior begin? Does it happen all the time? I would also add to the possible list of neuro/psychological disorders with the consideration of sensory integration disorder. There is a book by Dr. Doris Rapp called 'Is This Your Child?'. It explains how many difficult behaviors are the result of allergies, diet, and environmental sensitivities.

Although you may need to see MDs for certain evaluations, there are complimentary practitioners that might be able to offer better methods for working with allergies/sensitivities that can cause children to have behavioral problems. I have seen a chiropractor completely change a child's behavior and demeanor with acupressure, adjusting the cranium, and specific dietary changes.

Above all, I recommend prayer. I'm sure many of us are praying with you already. I've found the best answers come as a result of prayer. May you be guided to help your son in the best possible way. And may you find contentment with the best solution.

My first thought while reading your question was that this child is Autistic and/or ADHD. Has he been tested? The fact that punishments don't work, his memory being so good, and that sort of thing is what I looked at. If he has been tested, then you may have to work with a reward system. Find something he REALLY wants and make him work for it with good behavior. Assign the item a certain number of points and when he reaches that level, he gets the item. You can even have several smaller rewards before the really big one. That encourages continued good behavior. The rewards don't necessarily have to be actuall things either....it could be a trip to the zoo or some such thing. Good luck!!

Hi T., you've gotten some good responses and some, shall we say, interesting ones. A few people recommended getting him tested. You mentioned that he reads really well and can repeat back conversations word for word. He could be on the genius level in the IQ department and could be so smart that he doesn't understand his own self. Have him take an IQ test. Contact the school to find out where you can have one given. What you are going to need to do is explain to him that this is a test for him to see just how smart he really is. You don't want him to shut down during the test. He needs to understand that this is for him. Let him know that you think he is super smart, but you need to find out just how super smart he is so that you can find out what would be a good school for him to attend and what grade he should be in. It sounds like he is just bored in the school and probably learned what the teacher was teaching the first time the first time she taught it.
Now he should be disciplined for his actions, but you may have to figure out a different type of discipline for him especially. Contact a therapist to see what might work.
A friend of mine was high genius level, off the charts genius, and struggled thru life. He was institutionalized several times for breakdowns because he was just so smart, he couldn't handle it. He did grow into a high funtioning adult with a doctorate in physics. But he had to get the help he needed or he would have committed suicide. Some people just really can't handle their genius.
I do hope this helps you, if not a little, and that you can figure out what is going on with your son. I do hope you let us know in a few weeks/months. Good luck and God Bless.

Dear T.,
I am so sorry to hear that you are going through this with your son. I work in the mental health field and I urge you to take your son to a board certified child psychiatrist and have him evaluated. Make sure you are prepared to provide your sons family history so the doctor can make as accurate of a diagnosis as possible. Also be sure to provide a detailed description of your sons behaviors including when they started and what (if anything) precipitates it. Please do this as soon as possible. Your son is suffering as much as he is making others suffer, even though his behavior would make you think otherwise. Take care and let us know what happens.

He sounds like a friend I used to know and come to find out he is about four or five years advanced and bored to tears with what he is exposed to, have him tested for his iq and appropriate grade level and this can be done at a private facility rather than the school as they do stereotype our children.