my friend has a 8 1/2 month old daughter that is giving her horrible problems at night. she tends to fight her afternoon nap and then is super tired by 5:30-6pm. so she eats supper, takes a bath and then goes to bed. she might sleep for an hour or so and then she wakes up crying. she'll take a pacifier and go back to sleep. she'll continue this routine about every 1/2 hour to hour until midnight. then she might sleep from 12-3am and then start the whole thing over again until she's given milk (breastfed). she doesn't seem to be teething at this time and has been acting like this for the past several months. any thoughts or suggestions will be greatly appreciated and i know her mom will be excited if she get a little more sleep :) thanks!
thanks to everyone for their advice, understanding and support. my friend has already started to do research in the couple of books that were recommended. her daughter went down a little earlier today for her morning nap and slept for about 2 hours! this is a LONG nap for her. so maybe things are looking up already! thanks again!
She is way to tired and cannot catch up on her sleep. Try putting her down for her morning, afternoon nap and bedtime earlier. Read Healthy Sleep Habits, Happy Child by Marc Weissbluth. Best book I've read about children!!!
Hi J.,
I am a lactation Consultant and parent of 3 breastfed boys all of whom had very different sleep patterns at varying ages and stages.
I will start first with the comment that babies at least 15 pounds can make it through the night without eating. There is NO documentation to prove this and in fact, there is plenty of documentation to prove that myth completely wrong and often time unsafe. I hate those myths because people believe them and then in many cases force their children to learn to go hungry at night so the parent can sleep thinking that they are doing the 'right thing' because some book told them to. Some books (written by so-called experts) structure the book in such a way that the parents believe it makes sense when in fact it does not and can be very unhealthy for the baby both physically (hunger) and emotionally (stress from crying it out).
Yes, there are some babies who will sleep through the night early on ON THEIR OWN. They are unusual. The typical child actually has a small stomach and needs meals 2 or more times at night. The easiest most stress free way to deal with this? FEED the BABY. This takes care of so many issues and stresses. Easiest way to feed the baby when they wake several times at night? Co-sleep!
Look - people think babies are just like adults - they aren't. They need to eat more frequently, they need the touch of their parents frequently, they need to know they are safe all the time - see the common thread? NEEDS. Their NEEDS MUST be met. When mom and dad meet baby's needs they help baby grow into a strong, self-sufficient, trusting child who can be independent yet know that if they NEED mom and dad they will be there.
If your friend meets her baby's needs and feeds her at night - they will all get MORE sleep! :) All of her 8 1/2 month olds other behavior is perfectly age appropriate...wanting to skip a nap, getting cranky at night time...normal stuff! Check out Dr Sears website (Bill or Bob) or Jay Gordon...how about James McKenna on sleep issues... These guys have the research and the education.
Good luck to your friend...she can contact me if she likes...
Warmly,
J. Simpson, IBCLC, CIIM
www.breastfeedingnetwork.net
My, now 2yo, son had a waking issue at almost 9 mos as well. He was going through a growth spurt which required immediate breastfeeding. Prior to that he was sleeping just fine and after his growth spurt, he went back to STTN. With this current cycle in which your friend is spinning her wheels, she may want to start with putting her daughter down by 6pm, if not, 530, and feeding her at night until her daughter is well rested again. Night sleep is easier to address than naps; once her night sleep resolves, her naps will be easier to handle. Sleep begets sleep (my mantra) per Dr Marc Weissbluth. I also suggest she purchase and read his book "Healthy Sleep habits, Happy baby." It will last her through her daughter's adolescence.
Tip: At 8 1/2 months, she should be able to find her pacifier and reinsertion by mom should be avoided altogether.
GL
I will echo several responses here: breastfed babies DO have to eat more often. formula-fed babies stay full longer for it does not break down as quickly as breast milk.
this baby IS hungry and NEEDS to be fed at least twice during the night.
Co-sleeping is the easiest way to nurse and BOTH to get more sleep... but if she is not comfortable with co-sleeping, at least put the crib in the same room so the baby is easier to get to in the middle of the night.
I will also echo this:
The No Cry Sleep Solution by Elizabeth Pantley
I have this book, as well as the book by Weissbluth. (spelled it right/wrong?) I haven't read either one all the way through yet, but from as far as I got, Ms. Pantley's book is MUCH better, and MUCH easier on both mom and baby.
I didn't finish the other BECAUSE I didn't like his methods, they just seemed too harsh and too much like CIO, which I personally do not agree with.
My now 3 year old didn't sleep good until she was 18 months old. Does your friends daughter have acid reflux? My daughter (now 3) had this condition and I think this caused some of her sleeping problems. She nursed a lot for short amounts of time, she woke every hour or half hour through out the night until she was almost 18 months old. If there is a way to prop up one end of the crib (slightly) that might help with her comfort if she has acid reflux. I would recommend your friend talk to a pediatrician and see if there are other signs of this.
Babies at 8 1/2 hardly wake up because they're hungry, she's sleep deprivated and needs to break some patterns .... but I wouldn't recomend CIO at all...
Just 5 words that worked like a charm
The No Cry Sleep Solution by Elizabeth Pantley
I highly recommend this book if you are looking for ways to gently and lovingly help your baby (and yourself) learn to sleep better!
Weissbluth: Advocates crying to sleep without parent soothing. Open-ended time - no limit. You are "leaving him alone to forget the expectation to be picked up." Has a section on children over 7 years old.
Hi J., my almost 6 month old was a complete disaster at night time like this until the past month where we really had to work to get her on a schedule...now we almost have her sleeping from 6pm-6am without eating - yay! Basically, once a baby is 15+ pounds and over 5 months they biologically can make it through the night without eating. Of course they are not in this habit yet. We spent a few weeks feeding her less and less at night and also watering her feeds (you need to pump the breastmilk for that option). She REALLY quickly adjusted (I was shocked!!). During the day a similar schedule is needed - feedings need to happen at the same time every day and so does nap time. We could only get our daughter to sleep in her swing and then we started trying her in her crib and after a few days she would take her long nap there from about 11-1......it has made all the difference in the world to us, I thought she would never sleep!! Basically, what I am saying is that this baby is in bad habits and won't break them unless she is encouraged to do so. I absolutely could not stomach CIO and things like that for my daughter....my way was much longer but definitely less traumatic on everyone concerned :) Good luck!
Hi J.,
Sleep is the most important thing we do. When we sleep our body starts to repair and build up the immune system.
My family sleeps on magnetic pads and it really helps to get the body through the stages of the sleep cycle. My granddaughter has been sleeping on it since she was 2 days old.
Magnetic energy protects you from the electrical pollutions we are exposed to every day.
It is also important to get good nutrition and that is hard to get today since the soils are so depleted of minerals. That is why many moms are looking to supplement what the child is not getting.
If you would like more info let me know and I will send it.
Have a great week.
N. Marie
That's a LOT of sleeping all at once for a baby that age!When she wakes up in the 12-3am timeslot, I would nurse her right away. No breastfed baby is likely to be able to go so many hours without eating! My 3-month-old goes down about 8-9pm, wakes for a feeding around midnight, and wants another about 6--and, IIRC, my 21-month-old daughter was about the same till she was 9 or 10 months. Heck, it's not unusual for her to wake in the night NOW & want to nurse some.
I have the baby in bed with me. He fusses, I give him a breast, we both go to sleep, he nurses (in all honesty, this does not require waking up all the way). This way, my kids have a well-rested Mama in the daytime.
Get the book, "No-Cry Sleep Solution" - it's the most compassionate book I've found for sleep problems. (CIO techniques are not necessary.) The books gives LOTS of suggestions and then you figure out what will work best for your family. No attempt at a "one size fits all babies" solution - which I appreciate as being very honest and practical. Good luck!
Hi J.,
Good luck! I have been going through my own issues (that sound awfully similar) the past month with my 5 month old. Out of the 6+ books I've read, "The No-Cry Sleep Solution" by Elizabeth Pantley is what worked for me. I wanted a gentle approach and found this book to really help take the edge of feeling helpless and like whatever I was doing was wrong. Also, to reiterate what the lactation consultant said, I'm also a big fan of Dr. Sears. He has a comprehensive book on babies through 2 years and a section on sleeping.
I wish your first well!
