My young friend is a widow with an 8 year old adopted son. He was adopted before she became a widow. A while after the husband died, he began hitting her, throwing things at her, etc.. She takes him to a psychiatrist and also to a psychologist but they have not yet been able to control him. They call his spells meltdowns. She has to get him by both hands and hold him down until he gets control of himself. He is a husky child and getting pretty strong. The local police are aware of his actions but can do nothing unless he actually hurts her. Does anyone have any advice for her? She is a stay at home Mom and also care taker to her own elderly parents who live in the same neighborhood. She has no help and can't afford any.
She is still working with the doctors and praying a lot. I'll let you know what develops. I think I will buy a journal and send to her for him to write in as someone suggested. That's all I can think of to try. Thanks for trying to help. She is a dear sweet girl and waited for this child for a lot of years. I'll let you all know what develops.
Has she had him tested for autism? My son is almost 6 and this sounds a lot like some of his behaviors. It might be that he needs to be on medication to calm his behavior so that they can figure out what's going on with him. I wish her luck; I know how difficult it is to get hit by your own child.
its probably related to the loss of his other parent. im sure they were close. he may not know how to express himself properly. either way the behaivor needs to end because he is realizing that he can over power her and thats not good. she needs to lay down the rules and consequinces to him and be consistant. it will be very hard at first but it will hopefully pay off in the end. has she tried giving him a journal to write his feelings in? hope this helps good luck!
This is actually really common behavior in autism spectrum kids, and in kids with PTSD (adults as well for that matter). They become completely overwhelmed and melt down, flying apart at the seams... and especially as children become very violent.
One of the most common solutions... holding him... teaching his body to be still until his mind can focus again, is something she's already doing.
There are massive numbers of preventatives, however... most involving limiting the situations which cause the meltdowns. In PTSD cases, it also means slowly and intentionally reintroducing those situations. Aspie/Autistic kids... it depends on the kid. Usually they have be both be a certain age and mental/emotional capacity (varies with the child) so they have more conscious control over their actions, before intentionally introducing stressing stimuli.
Other solutions include things like therapy, OT, sensory rooms, meds, etc.
It sounds like she and her son are already seeing a psychiatrist/psychologist? If she's working with them and they're any good... then she should be on the right track. This can take YEARS though, both with PTSD and autism spec kids.
is this only at home? how is he at school? is he in a special program?
I would first get to a pediatric neurologist to rule out anything medical.
then I'd find the BEST child psychiatrist in town!
This child apparently has deep unconscious anger and emotional wounding/traumatization that ordinary therapy can't address. Most professionals would just try to suppress the behavioral symptoms (with drugs or some type of behavioral conditioning) which does nothing to heal the child's emotional disturbances. The child is more likely to benefit from metaphysical/psychic healing from someone skilled and reputable. Encourage your friend to find a good intuitive/energy healer who can connect with deeper parts of the boy's consciousness to help release the patterns fueling his impulsive anger. This woman is in a difficult situation and can't physically restrain the child indefinitely.
