8 Yr Old Neighbor and 'Kissing' Issue

I agree there is a possibility that he's been molested, but I wonder if calling CPS is a bit extreme for this behavior. We grew up in a different time, but I remember a kid in 1st grade having his friends grab girls during recess and bring them to him to be kissed. He was a bully and was abusing the power he had over kids. I also remember playing "I'll show you mine if you show me yours" with a neighborhood boy near my age. Perhaps they were exposed to inappropriate content on TV or at home, but I think it was in the realm of normal kid curiosity. I'm not saying this behavior is OK, I'd be really upset too, but you have to try and help this boy, not label him too early on as someone dangerous, perverted, etc. Do any of your neighbor's kids attend school with him? If so, maybe they can speak to his school guidance counselor about it and let them investigate with the boy (especially since the parents aren't around during school). Perhaps they know of similar behavior at school and are already trying to address it?

I know where you're coming from. I had a similar incident happen with a child I was providing after-school care for. They were old enough to know better but were curious about the makeup of the opposite sex. I spoke with the parent and she was very upset and took steps to talk with her child and a therapist. The children had to be within view and earshot of me at all times after that and we eliminated "secret places". I talked a lot with my kids about appropriate behavior, saying "no" to things they don't feel comfortable with, what is manipulation as opposed to encouragement, etc. We also did a lot of talking about how a friend should treat you and that if they don't feel comfortable with how someone treats them, they can choose to spend their time with other people. People they can trust and who don't pull them into uncomfortable situations.

When school started I spoke with the school counselor in very general terms to make her aware that there was an issue with bad decision-making and lack of assertiveness. She has found ways to talk with the kids through her regular classes with them.

It has been about 6 months now and I still wonder if I should have talked to CPS. The complication for me was that the child's mother is a good friend of mine. I do think she took appropriate steps to deal with the situation. Our children still have occasional play dates. They will be very rare (probably less than a handful a year),and will only occur at times when I don't have other things to tend to.

I don't recommend my line of handling things across the board. Reports to CPS can be made anonymously. If you have considered it, do it. If you don't, you'll wonder if you should have for a long time. I'm tired of wondering if I should have and will probably talk to a social worker that I know about the situation in detail soon. I need to talk to someone so that I can feel comfortable with how I respond to my own children and so that I can feel more confident in dealing with sexual issues, without this experience inserting itself, as they grow up.

ok first off, calm down before somebody decides to hurt this other child simply because he kissed another child, children are affectionate toward each other, whats the big deal ??you wouldnt want your neighbors getting angry at you because someone decides that your child encouraged the attention, would you ?? situations like this can get ugly fast if somebody dosent bother to think that they are just kids. as long as the other child didnt force his attention on another child or hurt them then the best thing to do is for the other children to avoid him. no angry peasants, no pichforks.it may just be that the child gets no affection
from his parents and kissing another child is the only way he gets any attention.. or affection. try to befriend the child, you might be very surprised
K. h.

I tend to agree with Laura and many other moms about him POSSIBLY being molested, unfortunately. A great interest with kissing, specifically at age 8 (generally after the "affectionate age", and before puberty) puts up a red flag for me.

Karin: BRIBING younger kids to KISS YOU -and it ISN'T a quick kiss- is NOT normal! Specifically at 8! Boys generally HATE that mushy stuff, anyway! NO ONE HERE IS EVEN CLOSE TO TALKING ABOUT HURTING HIM!!! How did you gather THAT?!?!?

Also, others that are suggesting to call CPS are NOT meaning to get HIM in trouble, but to see if HE is being abused! Goodness! I sure hope that it is some weird and inappropriate stage that this boy is going through, and he'll get over it quickly...