9 Month Old Having Trouble Sleeping Through the Night

my son is 3 and when he first started walking and discovering new things, he was hard to put to sleep until I put him on a schedule I found out that by giving him a snack and reading to him so he can have his calming down time then it was bath time. I found out in a parenting magazine that if you rub their body with baby oil it relaxes them and then I would put him to bed. It took time but it worked. You can try my idea and I hope it works for you. Be patient. Good luck.
V.

All the advice you are getting is good the only thing I have not seen is possibly some kind of white noise like a fan or a heartbeat bear (stuffed animal with a windup timed heartbeat - it recreates the sound in the womb.) Good luck, and as everyone says it gets better.

What time is her last feeding at? Maybe you can keep her up a little later and nursing her or giving her a bottle at that time? I used to put a bit of cereal in the bottle to fill their bellies so they could sleep thru the night. My middle sone was never much of a sleeper. I used to give him his last bottle at about 10pm so that I could at least get a few hours of uninterrupted sleep.

When my 8month old started doing almost the same thing - but he was getting up at about 12:30am - we bought ( on the advice of my sister in law) something to hang on the side of his crib that has a button that he can push that makes the music play and there is a projetion on the celing that he can look at - it last about 8-9minutes). It has birds in it - I will look at home to see what it is really called. Anyway- we showed him how to puish the button - we had to do it the first couple of times - but now if he wakes up I can hear him turn on the music and he watches the birds on the ceiling and falls back asleep. I think he was wakign up and was scared by the quiet and the dark - this seems to comfort him!!!
good luck!!

all i've heard is not to let them sleep so much during the day. Put them down at about 10 or 11 and set a routine.
sounds easy but is not. I'm also trying to have my 3 month old sleep thru the night but nothing has work so far. If you get better advise let me know please.

Dear S., my suggestion is to leave her alone at night, when she starts in, it took my daughter almost a month when she started to cry at that age. I would go in and check on her then, i would give her a bottle of warm water, and that seemed to help. I didn't put my daughter to bed until about 900, and she started to sleep a little later, what time does she take a nap. Maybe she is getting to much sleep during the day..

I have a two year old that still does not sleep through the night every night. I feel the biggest reason is not being consistant. I work night and someone else has to put him to bed three nights a week. But I have read a lot and can tell you some things that might have work if I was home every night. The important thing is finding that works for your daughter and you.
You have to consider teething, even if you don't see any teeth close to the surface. You also have to consider hunger because she is old enough to grow in spurts instead of all the time. I don't suggest feeding her at night but try to increase her intake/calories during the day.
When my son was about that age, I had a folding chair in his room and would sit beside the crib and pat his back until he almost fell asleep. I didn't talk to or interact with him. If he stood up I just put him back down and patted his back. It got to be after a couple of weeks then it only took a couple of minutes for him to go to sleep. This was only after I had tried several other things including crying it out. I tried the one where you go back in 5 then 10 then 15 then 20 then repeat 20 minutes until they fall asleep. It took him 3 hours to get sleep and that was too much for me. So I came up with folding chair thing that only took an hour the first night. Co-sleeping will work but that is a decision you have make and be willing to committ to for a while. I can't do that because I am not home every night. The only other thing I think you should remember is you are not doing your child any favors by not helping her learn, some way to comfort herself. This a skill she will need in a variety of situations for the rest of her life. It is up to as to the age and how aggressive you want to be.

Try warm milk, make sure the daycare is not allowing the baby to sleep most of the day, make sure no lights are on when the baby awakes,maybe a night light, play soft opera music or you hum the baby back to sleep, no playing or purcahse a rocking chair if you don't have one and rock the baby back to sleep. I hope some of these help. Good luck.

T.

Our daughter had the same trouble. In our case, alot of it was our own fault because the minute she would fuss I would rush up to her because I figured the faster I got her back to sleep, the faster I could go back to sleep. We finally cured it by using the "pick up, put down" method as crying it out doesn't work for our daughter either, or for us. When our kiddo got beyond fussy and into serious crying at night, we would go to her and try to pat her back to sleep (which never worked at first). We would pick her up and bounce or rock her long enough to get her drowsy then put her back in her crib before she was out. One night I must have done this a billion times, and she fought and fought to stay awake. She cried every single time I put her in her crib. Every time, I patted, then picked up and bounced or rocked til she was calm and drowsy, then put her back down. An hour and a half later, she finally went to sleep. It was an awful night, however, ever since, she's been a dream and has put herself back to sleep (except when teething). I expected to have to do this several nights in a row, but she caught on quickly. We occasionally have to have a refresher course, especially after we've rocked her all the way to sleep several nights in a row and we've all gotten lazy. The method seems to work each time though.

Good luck. If you want more details, you can email me.

____@____.com
L.

Janna's right - it does get better. I went through the same thing with my firstborn. I think the key, as with most other things involving kids, is consistency. If you try the crying-it-out-thing one night, then give in and rock her or pick her up the next night, she's going to see that she can get you to do what you want if she just hangs in there & cries long enough. If you're solid in your decision, she'll get the message, and will learn to go back to sleep on her own. As with all the difficult child-rearing experiences, we moms must remind ourselves that our job ultimately, is raising these kids to be independent enough, so when it's time to push them out of the nest, they're ready. It's not about us - it's about them. And yes, those lessons are hard, but necessary.

I failed quite a bit with the crying-out method, until I came up with a compromise. I would go in, kiss my son, but not pick him up. (Of course, I'd check to make sure he wasn't wet or hurt, or whatever.) Then I would tell him, no, I'm not going to pick you up, but I'll be right here. Then I'd sit down on the floor and just wait. I wouldn't look at him - I'd sometimes even lay down & just close my eyes like I was sleeping. He would eventually realize I wasn't going to pick him up, but it comforted him that I was there. (The first 2 nights were the worst, and I had to have serious self-control, while my son screamed and hollered and did his best to get a reaction from me.) I did this for a few nights, then I'd move further away for the next few. Each night, I crept further away until he couldn't see me, and I'd just reassure him once with my voice that I was there. Finally, I ended up out in the hall, and he was able to comfort himself back to sleep in shorter and shorter amounts of time, until he wasn't waking up anymore. Recently, I think I even saw the Nanny do something like this on one of those reality shows.

I wish you luck and many restful nights!
M.

Dear S.,

Big hugs to you - I remember how stressful it was trying to sort out this issue with our first child. I'd highly recommend reading some articles from kelly mom -http://www.kellymom.com/parenting/sleep/sleep.html - there's some good stuff there.

One good question to ask is - what is your priority? Is it to get more sleep, or to provide emotional security to your child? We felt so desperate for sleep back then with our first child, and went through so much trouble trying different things in order to get sleep (yes, crying it out, too). Now, we co-sleep with our babies - realizing we are laying a strong base by meeting their emotional needs for security. Ironically, we get a lot more sleep that way anyway. From day one, I nurse in bed. It becomes a rhythm of waking up for 1 minute to latch on, and dozing back to sleep. Even if they nursed 5 times in the night - no big deal! Seeing how much security they have and how little they cry in general is great payback.

I now help with the youth group at our church. It encourages me to see the vast difference between children raised the 'typical - make them independent quick' way versus the 'meet their needs while they're young' way. The children whose needs were met while young are drastically more self-assured. In fact, the family with the AMAZING children are the ones who nursed for 2 years and slept with their parents until they were toddlers or preschool. It might not fit with mainstream culture, but then I don't think I like the mainstream outcome, either (a disconnected teen who doesn't feel truly valued).

I want to encourage you that this is a season - it will pass. Your child will grow to sleep through the night - even with no intervening from you. I pray that you receive the support you need!

Blessings,
R.

Hi S.,

I don't believe in the "cry it out" philosophy, 30 minutes at the most, but not more than that. She may be hungry. You may want to put cereal in her bottle, this will really fill her little tummy and get her back to sleep. If you do this at her earlier feeding, she may sleep through the night. If you do decide put cereal in the bottle, just make sure the opening in the nipple is big enough for the liquid to come out. One other thing, try keeping her up later, try 9:00pm. Hope this helps.

If she is crying for 2 hours, it's too long. Is she hungry? It's NORMAL for a 9mo to still want to eat at night. I know it sucks, believe me more than anyone wants to know. Through the night is actually defined as a 6hour stretch - which your daughter is getting.

If she is crying, she needs you. To whomever posted:she's going to see that she can get you to do what you want if she just hangs in there & cries long enough....

She is 9mo old, not 9 years old. She is not manipulating you, she is not testing you, she is not seeing how long she can go before you come back to get her. Something is going on and she wants you to comfort her. It won't last forever.

As far as cereal in the bottles, it can work, but it can also backfire on you and keep your baby up longer with gas or general tummy issues.

"Happiest Baby on the Block" - Harvey Karp
"No Cry Sleep Solution"

Hi S., I also have a 9 month old with the similar problem. She does eventually go back to sleep only after I give her a bottle. And has to be milk, cause she won't take water of juice. Dunno why, she eats well before bedtime. She wakes up at 12am and again at 4am. I heard they shouldn't lay in the crib with a bottle, so i have to hold her and feed her the bottle. That's pretty stressful for me because it cuts into my sleep and I work full time during the day. I also tried the cry thing, but she'll cry forever if i let her. Hope someone has an easy remedy to our problem. Good luck!

Go to Borders, Barnes and Nobles or Amazon.com, and order the book by Dr. Marc Weissbluth:
Healthy Sleep Habits, Happy Child (Paperback) One of the country's leading researchers updates his revolutionary approach to solving--and preventing--your children's sleep problems.

This man was my sister's pediatrician when she was in Chicago, and she had 3 children w/in 4 years. Sleep was vital. She followed his advice to the letter, and had great success even though her middle child had a lot of colic. I did the same with mine, and had success with the first child, but the second had gastrointestinal issues and acid reflux so sleeping lying down has impossible and sleeping sitting up in my arms was exhausting. So, if there is no underlying medical condition, get this boook, read and follow even though it is hard, and get some sleep. What follows is the book overview from amazon.com: good luck!

Here Dr. Marc Weissbluth, a distinguished pediatrician and father of four, offers his groundbreaking program to ensure the best sleep for your child. In Healthy Sleep Habits, Happy Child, he explains with authority and reassurance his step-by-step regime for instituting beneficial habits within the framework of your child's natural sleep cycles. This valuable sourcebook contains brand new research that

- Pinpoints the way daytime sleep differs from night sleep and why both are important to your child
- Helps you cope with and stop the crybaby syndrome, nightmares, bedwetting, and more
- Analyzes ways to get your baby to fall asleep according to his internal clock--naturally
- Reveals the common mistakes parents make to get their children to sleep--including the inclination to rock and feed
- Explores the different sleep cycle needs for different temperaments--from quiet babies to hyperactive toddlers
- Emphasizes the significance of a nap schedule
-

Rest is vital to your child's health growth and development. Healthy Sleep Habits, Happy Child outlines proven strategies that ensure good, healthy sleep for every age. Advises parents dealing with teenagers and their unique sleep problems.

Another thing, S., we let our babies sleep in bed with us when they were babies, and even as toddlers if they needed to. This was relatively easy as my husband was a resident at a hospital, was out early in the morning, home late at night, and there was nothing for that baby to interrupt during those years! But, the security it gave our child was indescribable. If they wanted to fall asleep in our bed we would let them and carry them to their bed when they were asleep, and they would sleep through the night. The first concern for us was their security. If she is a strong willed child, that is one thing, if she is insecure and wanting your closeness, she may wake up w/out someone warm with a thudding heart next to her..check out those toys w/ the sounds etc. And, have you tried music or white noise at night?

Hi S.. I have a 4 year old and went through the same thing you are going through. We made the mistake of having me sleep with our daughter. It got her back to sleep, but we are now dealing with a 4 year old who wakes up at night and insists on sleeping with Mommy! Do not start this!

I read a book while she was an infant - "The Baby Whisperer," which, at the time I thought was a bit far-fetched. Sorry, I can't remember the author. But then we watched a series she did in Britain and it was quite amazing. She had the parents go into the child's bedroom at night when they cried, and either picked them up, or rubbed their back (whichever worked for the child) and once they stopped crying they would stop. But as soon as the child would start again the parents would again pick them up or rub their back. One show we watched the parents picked up the child (I am not kidding) about 160 times the first night. The second night about 70 times, the third night about 40 times, the fourth night about 12 times, and so on, until about one week later the child could sooth herself back to sleep. My husband and I laughed because I seriously doubt we would have made it through the first night. But it did work! I guess you just have to commit yourself to doing it.

Anyway, good luck to you. You may want to pick up the book. I have heard that letting them cry it out does work - we just couldn't do it.

J.

Hi Staci
I can totally relate! I have a nine month old aswell and she has had a ton of sleep issues. One book I found that really helped us was ' The No-Cry Sleep Solution: Gentle Ways to Help Your Baby Sleep Through the Night by Elizabeth Pentley. It really helped to get my daughter on a clear rountine and we never had to let her cry it out (way too stressful!)
Anyway I hope this helps
Good luck

8- 9 months is about the time for teeth to be coming in. she might be cutting teeth and this is waking her up.

It gets better. Don't feed her or she'll get in the habit of eating, and it'll only get worse. Go in her room, don't get her out of her crib. Pat her on her back and talk soothingly to her for a few minutes and leave. Let her cry it out. Its seperation anxiety, and she needs to begin to remember that you will return. Also, practice by leaving the room during the day, and coming back in a few minutes later, or let her wander into a room by herself and realize that she left you. (Baby-proofed rooms, of course.) It'll help teach her that even when you go away, you'll return.

Hi S.. We used a book called "THe No Cry Sleep Solution" by Elizabeth Pantley. It took a little while to figure out what worked best for our daughter, but it did work.

If your child takes naps, don't let her take the last nap of the day she usually takes. Keep her up and extra hour or two make her last couple of hours of play tiring for her. Bathe her with Johnson's Bedtime bath and then cream her up with the bedtime lotion. Put lavendar popuri around her room or light a lavendar candel and blow it out just before she goes to sleep. Does she wake up because she is thirsty or hungry? My little boy is six and usually still wakes up because he is thirsty. I give him some water and he goes right back to bed.
I hope this helps you:)
J.
____@____.com

Well, I have a 16 month old who has basically slept through the night since about 5 weeks. Have you tried putting her to bed later closer to 10 o'clock when you guys go to bed. I know it is difficult because you can't get things done like now with an extra few hours before you go to bed but if it makes sleeping through the night happen then it might be worth it. My daughter now sleeps from 8 o'clock until 8 o'clock with typically two naps during the day! Hopefully soon your little one will be on a better schedule!

Good Luck,
T.

Hi, S.!

I feel for you! My 2 1/2 year old daughter didn't sleep through the night until she was 16 months old. She was up 5 to 7 times a night, though, and I was a zombie!Part of her trouble was her strong-willed temperment, which can't be changed, of course,but we also made some mistakes as far as nighttime was concerned. I finally found a book that really helped. It's called Sleeping Through the Night, by Jodi Mindell, Ph.D. Her suggestions really made a difference for us. I wish I'd read it months earlier than I did. I have a newborn son now, and we'll be using her method again---SOON! Hang in there!

oh, do I feel your pain. My daughter, now three, had a hard time sleeping too at that age. I had to do the cry-it-out thing. It was hard, but it was the only thing that worked. My daughter cried for a long time, but eventually would go to sleep. I had to let her cry it out for her naps and for at night. Usually, when she would wake up at night, I would wait about 10 minutes to see if she MIGHT go back to sleep on her own. Sometimes she did, but usually she didn't. At first I used to check on her to make sure her diaper wasn't dirty or super wet or she didn't throw up or anything, but after a while I realized a pattern that she was waking up around the same time. So to break that pattern I just had to suck it up and let her cry. Sometimes I couldn't take it and I would go in and console her and then just put her back down to cry again. It's hard, but I kept telling myself it was for her and my best interest. I remember thinking that she would never stop crying it out, because she did that for a very long time. I don't remember exactly when she stopped, but probably sometime around 18months, maybe even later. Now she didn't always wake up at night though. She just had to cry to go to sleep. Otherwise she would have slept in my arms and I just couldn't do that either. But for waking up at night she eventually, maybe after a week or so stopped waking at night. I remember a period of her starting to wake at night after she hadn't for a while, but then figured out I wasn't dressing her warm enough at night. So I started putting socks on her feet and that took care of the problem. By the time I moved her into a twin size bed at around 2 yrs, she wasn't crying to go to sleep anymore. I just tuck her in the bed and sing her a song and close the door to her room, she goes to sleep. I know some of my friends that said they couldn't let thier kids cry it out, and now that thier kids are older, like 4 years old, they STILL can't go to sleep on thier own. So crying it out definitely worked for me. My neighbor told me about a book she read with her little one (now 10 months old)... I will ask her what it's called and let you know. She told me a while back ago that it really helped her out. Hang in there. I promise it gets better!