9 Month Old Wakes 4 or 5 Times a Night~ HELP

This age was around the time when my daughter started developing separation anxiety and it was the worst at night. I know she's still really young, but have you tried telling her "it's time to sleep. Mommy's close by and will keep you safe. Go back to sleep now". She may understand, at least to a point. I don't know what the issues are with not sleeping well at Day Care, but trying to get those addressed may help a lot. Like another poster said in a different way, the less sleep babies get, the less they want to sleep even when overtired.

I agree that if you are rocking her all the way to sleep she probably does not know how to self-soothe herself to sleep. I am not suggesting cry-it-out in any form. I am suggesting that you still rock her but lay her down to sleep before she actually falls asleep, when she becomes drowsy. I am actually still co-sleeping with my 4 year old, but I do have her to fall asleep on her own while I do homework, etc. I have always done this since she was an infant. When she would wake up at night as an infant I would be right there and she wouldn't even cry at all, but go back to sleep on her own. I think it must be really lonely to be an infant and wake up in the middle of the night to nobody nearby.....I would probably cry about it too:)

Also- what is her daytime napping schedule? At this age she should still be getting 1 1/2-2 1/2 hours of daytime napping. Daytime cycles have a different purpose than nighttime cycles(day sleeping processes stress/emotions and night sleeping rests the body)but having an adequate amount of daytime sleep improves the night time rhythm. A book that helped me a lot with learning about how children sleep was "Teach your Child to Sleep" put out by the Millpond Sleep Clinic. I found it at the library, and it covers every stage of infancy and childhood with techniques and a breakdown of psychological/physical needs. I highly recommend it to anyone who has a child or infant. You can also order it online from the clinic.

Also, by 9 months night time feedings should be eliminated. After 6 months of age night time feedings are about comfort, not nutrition. I would start eliminating the midnight and 3:30 a.m. bottles and start and replace them with comfort so that she can start to learn to self soothe herself. If you want her to continue to use the bottle for comfort, I would put plain water in them instead.

Hope this helps and good luck!

Try feeding her.
9 months old is a growth-spurt time... and a time of developmental changes and/or teething. Together, this makes for 'growing-pains' in a baby and it is not easy for them either.
They wake.

All I know is, both my kids as babies had GINORMOUS appetites, and I nursed, on-demand at night, when they woke too, like that.

Also, they get separation-anxiety... even at night. This is per our Pediatrician.

Or, put on white noise,

Or.... Maybe her crib is NOT comfortable?
In our kids crib, we had a Fisher Price "Ocean Wonders Aquarium" crib toy. They loved that and would play with it and turn it on themselves.

ALSO... if baby is in your room... maybe someone is waking HER up... with their snoring... and sleep noises???? This can happen too....

Or does she have a Lovey?
From 6 months old, my son "found" his own Lovey, amongst the other stuffed animals, that was in his crib. All baby-safe stuffed toys, of course. But that is what he slept with and cuddled. He LOVED sleeping with his stuffed cow. Still does. It is a 'comfort.'

ALSO, is she napping during the day?
Over-tired babies.... actually sleep worse, cannot fall asleep well, and wake more.
Naps... are important. Do not skimp on naps or take away naps....

Each baby is different....

all the best,
Susan

Honestly, it sounds like getting her to sleep is the issue. If you're rocking her for an hour, she doesn't know how to get herself to sleep. Not everyone likes CIO, and if you don't, I don't have a lot of advice. But if you Ferberize (going in in progressively longer intervals) she'll learn to fall asleep on her own, and then when she awakes in the middle of the night she'll know how to get herself to sleep. Right now she just doesn't know how to go to sleep without you.

Good luck.

Get the book, "Sleeping through The Night" by Dr. Jodi Mendell. It will give you suggestions and help you cope with all stages that babies/toddlers go through concerning sleep. It worked for us when our son was 8 months old and had to be rocked to sleep. He was a big boy, so I would be crying as my back hurt so much not to mention the lack of sleep!
Good Luck!

A few thoughts:

1. IF you "Ferberize" as someone suggested, I definitely recommend getting the book and reading it through first. (Richard Ferber, Solve Your Child's Sleep Problems) I highly recommend it, this approach worked for all three of our children, but it's not for everyone. I think it could have been worse rather than better if we had tried something we halfway heard from other people without really understanding what the book says. My personal opinion is that it probably only works once the parents are desperate enough.
2. I agree with the growth-spurt idea, but by this age my kids were weaned and I definitely was NOT demand-feeding through the night. What worked for us was two dinners. Sounds crazy and some nights I felt like I basically did nothing but feed my twins from 4 to 8 at night. Between them needing more food, starting to feed themselves a bit, they could eat for an hour straight. What had been a simple 5:30 meal, with a bottle before bed, became a 4:00 meal and milk, then another meal with milk around 7. Call it a snack if you want, but it really seemed like two dinners most nights. I was annoyed, but it really helped once I started doing it.
3. At times I let my kids get really attached to milk in the middle of the night. I felt like it was my fault and was not willing at that point to just ignore them and let them cry. So, once I was confident they were getting enough calories in the daytime and the problem was habit not hunger, I swapped out milk for water. With my daughter, it calmed her and confirmed my suspicions that she didn't need the calories, and we easily weaned off it then. My son just got angry and screamed, and I would sit with him offering comfort and the water until he was ready to go back to bed, but it too broke the habit in a few nights.

Best of luck!

I disagree with Julie K. I think bedtimes might not matter for some kids but for others, like my son, it matters a LOT. When my son was younger (around your child's age), if we put him to bed any later than 6pm, he would wake up a LOT more frequently. It was a nightmare. We learned the hard way to put him down at the first sign of fatigue which for him was 5:45ish. Our friends thought we were crazy and we lost our social life but the sleep got a lot better. Not 100% but much more manageable. Also, even though you're not having problems putting her to sleep, if she falls asleep in your arms before you put her to bed, when she wakes up in the middle of the night, she'll demand you hold her to sleep again. That's why it's imperative you teach her to fall asleep by herself when she first goes down for the night. Read Kim West's Good Night, Sleep Tight. Her techniques really helped us. Summary: Put her to sleep drowsy but awake (80% drowsy should be good) then stay right by her crib and shush her and pat her from time to time but try really hard not to pick her up. She'll wake up and cry b/c you put her down before she was fully sleeping but she hopefully won't get hysterical b/c ur next to her crib. Keep shushing her and after about 20-30 min, she should eventually lay down and go to sleep. Wait until she's fully sleeping and then exit the room. When she awakes in th emiddle of the night, do the same thing. Do this for 3 days and then move to the middle of the room and do the same thing. Every 3 days, you move further and further away. Anyway, it's a really helpful book and has saved our family's sanity. Good luck!

R.,

I can totally relate with you! My monkey will be 9 months this week and doesn't sleep through the night either. I agree with Victoria that baby is waking up on her own and can't put herself to sleep. I also think that babies go through transitions and teething that naturally interrupt sleep. For instance, this week my husband watched our daughter sleep and she moved her legs trying to crawl and "talked" in her sleep.

We are trying to condition her to go back to sleep on her own. She does a decent job doing this on her own for naps, until recently (again part of the interruption of all the transitions in her life...crawling...cruising....sitting up from lying position). We have started using music from her mobile to help her fall asleep on her own. She never liked the mobile before, but now we are using it to keep her attention long enough for her to fall asleep on her own. It seems to be working for both naps and bedtime.

We have also let baby make noise/cry for a few minutes before we go to her. Sometimes by the time I've used the bathroom, she has already fallen back asleep or when we check on her she is actually asleep "talking/crying." Sooooo, I suggest waiting it out for a few minutes before you go to her.

We have also decided to no longer offer nursing through the night. That has eliminated at least one wake up call.

Just remember to be consistent with whatever plan you make and make sure you don't start something else you don't want to continue later. :)

Hang in there!!! It will get better. If you can, take turns with your hubby to take a nap or sleep in. That is what we do to keep functioning.

i could have written this question 1and 1/2 years ago and i got teary eyed reading it and remembering the night mare that was my 6 month old:( i read every sleep book, tried CIO (briefly, i couldn't handle it), patting to sleep, putting him to sleep awake, changing bedtimes etc..... nothing worked he was still up sometimes every hour.
i guess i don't have a magic answer other than it does get better. i eventually just put a mattress on the floor and just laid with him when he would wake up (then i would sleep too). i also fed and rocked him to sleep and he often wouldn't even want to be fed everytime he woke up- he just wanted me. also i know it may feel like you caused this because of trying to rock her to sleep sweetly, but i have 2 older kids and put them to sleep the same way and they rarely woke at night and are both great sleepers now. so every child is different and there are so many things that could be happening teething, growth spurt, separation anxiety, learning to walk - it's amazing they ever sleep at all:) he is now 22 months old and usually only wakes once a night and actually slept through the night last night. he just stopped nursing 3 weeks ago and i stopped rocking him to sleep last week ( mostly because i'm 7 months pregnant:) i remember how hard it was but i don't regret feeding, rocking or laying with him to sleep for a second. i wish you the best of luck and hope you find an answer that works for you from all these great women. just know that this too shall pass:)

Ditto Jane M.
And I'd bet dollars to donuts that mom is the one that does the rocking at 7:50. Which is why Dad doesn't cut it at 10:30.

Babies, like adults, actually wake many times each night. They just aren't able to get themselves back to sleep, hence you have to go "do it" for them. After they learn how to do this on their own, they come to semi-awake moments during the night and just go back to sleep on their own. Just like adults do. We all wake several times a night... we just don't wake fully enough to realize it or remember it most of the time. Until you learned how to fall asleep on your own... you called for your mom also. :)

I suggest you go back to co-sleeping. Seems like your daughter is sending you ques that she wants to sleep with Mommy and that is actually the norm for infants.

Unless you want to hear your precious daughter crying all the time for you and waking everyone up - - take her to bed with you at 10:30 - her first wake up for comfort. You don't know WHY she woke up, just that she did was scared and lonely and needed you.

If you breastfed, it would be a lot easier... but it's definitely too late to re-lactate, since it would take at least 2-3 weeks at this point. But bed-sharing seems like your best bet now and baby will be a lot happier next to her Mommy.

I scanned the answers and hope I'm not repeating too much. First off I feel your pain. I have been there and it is exhausting beyond belief. I hope her sleep improves soon. I too read everything I could get my hands on and the one book that helped the most was " healthy sleep habits, happy child". When we followed his advice we got results even when it seemed counterintuitive. Also has a quick section for desperate parents so you aren't reading a million pages when sleep deprived. Book overview : sleep begets sleep. You'll probably need to try moving bedtime way up and work on the naps. ( I know daycare makes that very hard, maybe u could get some family help for a week or vacation time??) And one final personal note. When all was said and done ,we got my son down to one waking a night which was still miserable. At 17.5 months an old friend who is a pediatrician recommended that I try weaning. I protested because I WAS NOT feeding my son during the night and hadn't been for more that 6 months. But low and behold within 48 hours of weaning he was sleeping through the night for good. Go figure. Anyway I wasn't happy about weaning but wow. What a difference the extra sleep makes for mommy. Just a last resort if everything else fails.

My DD does the same thing. I tried CIO, but I quit after 2 days because 1-I have the most stubborn baby in the universe. No joke. and 2-I guess I am just too softhearted to stick to it. I also read the No Cry Sleep Solution, which DID help, but my DD was still waking up 4-5 times a night. My MIL suggested that instead of nursing her right before bed, try nursing her an hour or so beforehand... give the stomach time to settle. I tried it, and it helped. So now my routine is: Nurse, bath, massage, pajamas, books, lights out and lullaby. (I used to do the same thing, but nurse during the lights out and lullaby.) She started sleeping until 12:30-1:00 (she was waking up around 10:00) I usually nurse her then, and after that is when most of her night wakings occur, and she either wants to snuggle in bed with me or nurse again. I'm trying to cut out more night feedings, (Hey, if it helps initially it might help later.) but usually that's the only way I can get her back to sleep... Unless I want to stay up for an hour or so fighting with her. Usually I'm so desperate for sleep that I give in. But I have been working on it, and it IS getting better. It's just taking time. :)

W my kids when they would wake up at night I would not turn on any lights or change diaper unless pooped or heavily wet. I would go in and not get them out of their crib just rub their back and talk quietly. Also I would rock them at night but lay them down before they fell asleep so they could put themselves to sleep. If you can let her cry it out maybe try that.

At 9 months you are looking at a growth spurt month. So when she gets up give her a bottle. You need to nap when she does, also going to bed that late can cause her to not sleep at night, she might need an earlier bed time.
It's perfectly normal for a 9 month old to wake at night.
Other things that wake infants at night can include illness, milestones, growthspurt, sudden noises . does she have music, or a noise machine in her room ? if she does try putting it on repeat all night so the noise level in her room doesn't change and a sudden added noise won't wake her.
Pick up No cry sleep solution by elizabeth pantley.
If she wakes up to be held by mom then go ahead and go in and pick her up. instead of doing something you know isn't going to work. it could be she prefers mom to dad and that's perfectly normal she is an infant.

I put my kids to sleep at 9-10pm so don't sweat the time!

You could put one of your worn sleep shirts in her bed to get your smell there for comfort (babies are huge on smell) and could even put a hot water bottle or electric blanket in for added warmth and scent. You could do this with your Day Care as well -- I did this for mine. My daughter and I coslept for 3 years, and it took Daddy putting her to sleep for several weeks until things calmed down -- I was never a "cry it out" mama!:) Now my son's to start this process:(

Also, you could check into GA certified at-home care -- it's home-like and personally-tailored/supportive and usually less expensive. I've used several providers these past 8 years, keeping kid with 6 or less until around 3 1/2, then onto Center and PreK.

Certified at-home care providers follow stricter guidelines than Day Care Centers, and you can find them easily through a free service linked with Bright From The Start -- www.qualitycareforchildren.org. Their site is fabulous, informative, easy to use and calling is even better if you can believe that!:) I'm with Brenda Sutor and could not be happier.

If you want any info, send me an email:) Good luck mama!!!