Can I Earn My Babes Trust Back?!

ooh mama!! she trusts you..don't fret over this!!!

At 6 months - most babies start eating cereal (rice, oatmeal, etc.)...try giving her "dinner" before she goes to bed.

It could also be teething. Remember babies grow more in their first year of life than they do any other time...there's a lot going on in her little body. So take a deep breath and let it out slowly.

She needs a routine and to stick to that routine and at 7 months - I'm sure she's outgrown that bassinet. So that means she either sleeps with you in your bed or in her crib. Make a decision and stick to it.

The first week of letting her sleep in her crib will be hard because it's a chance. But stick with it. YOU WILL ROCK IT MAMA!!! You already are!!!

It's not lost trust. If you were completely neglecting her (letting her scream all night) you'd lose her trust and she'd STOP crying.

She's actually crying BECAUSE she trusts you to 'fix' whatever is wrong OR

....

And here's the part to check...

Because something is wrong.

If she cries every time she gets laid flat she probably has an ear infection OR a sinus infection. Next time you have a head cold (a bad one) bend down fast. That rushing pain is the same that babies get being laid down (slowly). It's because their ears are still growing. That sudden stabbing pain "just" from being laid flat. Oy.

And here's more good/bad news. 6mo is TOTALLY NORMAL for "newborn" waking. It's because of the growthspurt that happens (cluster feeding), AND usually because teeth start cutting, or start cutting more frequently (as an adult who has CUT teeth, not just new ones coming in in the socket of old ones... that HURTS. A lot of kids are fine during the day when they're distracted, but at night the pain keeps them awake or wakes them up). The 'bad' part of this? It happens again at 9mo/10mo mark.

TRICKS:

1) Feed when hungry. I know it sucks sometimes, but babies CAN'T sleep on empty stomachs unless they've had their spirit broken. Very very very few infants can sleep all night and NOT be hungry (those ones have a very slow metabolism). They exist. They're rare. Most wake to eat, because they're growing at night and need to.

2) Tylenol. It's a trick, because if suddenly you have a sleeping or happy baby again 20 minutes later... you know it's a pain issue and you need to sort it.

Holy crud, you are projecting feelings all over the place. She does not feel betrayed she is just trying to work through changes that come with getting older just like her sleep at night was changing. It has nothing to do with where she naps or sleeps but that it has changed.

So now you are changing things again and freaking out. Now you have something that she is reacting to. Relax, figure out what you want in the long run and stick with it so the poor thing can work through it and both of you have your lives back.

cry it out is NOT NOT NOT cruel!!!! going in every few minutes to "comfort them" is more cruel if you ask me, it is not for the child it is for the parent. They think you are coming in to get them and all you do is pat their back and then leave again. It also reinforces their natural reaction to cry to get what they want so it will take 10 times longer to get them to fall asleep on their own. you did not break her trust, sorry but that is a bit of a silly fear for a baby! she is just getting used to the new routine etc. It will take some time that is all. maybe up her feeding ammounts, give her a few extra ounces. or if you havent started on solids yet go ahead and do it now. give her some cereal before her nap/bedtime.

HUH??? Babies don't lose trust in their parents. They can hear your voices long before they are born.
I suggest that you get a CD with soothing music or a glow worm (seahorse) for her. The glow worm or seahorse is motion and sound activated so if she starts to cry or whine or get restless in her sleep it will start to play soothing sounds throughout the night. She will be fine.

As a Mom the best thing you can do for her is to love her and you are doing that. Snuggle her as long as you can, she will be getting more and more mobile now and will want less snuggles. If you keep her routine consistant she will know that right after lunch she gets a nap and right after dinner she gets a bath, snuggle time and lullaby or story (she is not too young to be read to) and into bed. It's when their schedule gets thrown off that they can be difficult to put down in bed. Keep it as consistant as possible and she will be fine.

Foooood! You did not break her trust. This is a very hard age, because it's hard to force feed babies who are nursing exclusively, or only on formula, etc, but I promise you, when her belly is more full, she will not wake at night. If you can thicken her bottles and add feedings for three consecutive days, your nights will become easier after that. Also, you're looking at this as if the RIGHT thing to do is sleep with her, and now you broke her trust and did the WRONG thing. Actually, it's perfectly OK to choose to let her feel secure sleeping on her own. Either choice is right-co sleeping or not, and she will feel secure and happy no matter what you stick with. I would persevere personally if I were you as it may get harder to separate the older she gets. You're not hurting her by letting her self sooth, but she needs to be more full in order to stay asleep.

You're saying you didn't completely CIO, but a little. What does that mean? If you came in eventually because she was whining or crying, she has learned to cry and whine to get you to come back. Once she learns that you don't come back after your nice nap or bed time routine (usually three times is the magic number-sometimes a full week) she'll sooth herself and feel secure that: It's nap time. Time to go to sleep. Or. It's Bed time. Time to go to sleep. If you feel guilty and don't buy into it all the way yourself, and keep soothing her and feeling bad, it makes it much harder on everyone because you're only half doing it. Feed her more, make a choice, stick with it, and either way, co sleeping or not, you're a great mom she can trust!

Maybe she really does need extra nursing, because around 6 mo. they have a growth spurt, many get new teeth, etc.

I'm personally not a cry it out parent. I at least went in after a few minutes to put a hand on her back or start her music or something. I'd also make sure that you have a routine for naps and bedtime. She'll get used to the routine and it will help you connect.

I also agree that if she's screaming and not just whining that maybe there's more going on. Ear infections or colds can be painful. Worth considering.

Not liking naps is not a trust thing. It's a kid thing. ;)

Your daughter is developmentally on track. Her brain is developing and I believe she's around the right age for a major growth spurt. You just need to have some patience.

And no, your daughter doesn't feel "betrayed." You just need to adjust the bedtime routine a bit and maybe her daytime nap schedule. Adjust the times of day and the length, and perhaps the amount you're feeding her. If she's having a growth spurt as I suspect then she might need to feed longer or have an extra feed before bed. She might need an extra feed during the night until the growth spurt is over. She might be teething. Teething pain is worse when it's napping time and especially at night, so she might do better with some Infant Tylenol.

This isn't about you getting enough sleep. ;-) This is about making sure she's comfortable, isn't feeling pain, is full, has an adjusted schedule... and giving yourself a break.

Cry it out is cruel. Babies first stage of development is trust vs mistrust and the cry it out method destroys that trust. That said, it is just my personal opinion after all. Letting them fuss for a few minutes is not the same thing.

She may be going through a growth stage and need lots of extra nourishment. She may be teething and hurting, she may have gas due to a new food you have introduced, maybe she is coming down with something or fighting off an infection, there is no telling what her little body is doing. If she is crying she needs attention. She will eventually go back to sleeping all night.

As for the nap, just be consistent. She is getting old enough to do one longer nap now and she may not need to sleep yet when you are trying to put her down. Try adjusting it just a bit more time wise and see if it makes any difference.
******************
I enjoyed my trip to Vernal the one time I was there, it was 1992. I loved Dinosaur National Monument, I got to actually tough a bone in the ground!

7 months is way too early to expect a child to sleep through the night. I don't think she needs to be fed every hour or two. But she does need fed at least once over night and the rest of the time, I agree with a musical toy she can acviate, maybe a light show for the ceiling that comes on when she wakes up. Pick the time you will get up and feed her. The rest of the time, let her fuss or cry.

At seven months most can sleep through at least 6 hours. Also, have you started feeding more solid food like rice cereal and/or baby food? I started rice cereal at 4 months and baby food at 6 months if they are able to sit and eat with spoon. At about three months I moved my kids to regular crib in their own room since I was such a light sleeper and couldn't sleep with baby in the room. I would continue to stay with the crib and keep working on a successful transition. I read and would give bottle before I put in the crib and do technique of the first time wait 5 minutes or whatever comfortable with and tell her its time to sleep. If she continues to scream I pulled up the rocking chair next to the crib and put my hand on her back until she calmed down and fell asleep. Little by little over time I scaled back on staying in the room and now they completely fall asleep on their own.

My oldest took over a year before she didn't scream her head off to sleep on her own. My husband had to sleep with her in the guest bedroom because she was so used to sleeping in my arms and nursing whenever she woke the least bit. But when I got pregnant with number 2, there was no more 24-7 nursing for her. And she was 14 months old, so I was okay with that and she was weaning anyways.

But find a routine that works for you guys. I kept my kids in bed with us as long as they wanted to, but the longer they do the harder it is for them to figure out how to self-soothe. Just rock her, do a warm, lavendar bath, try soft music, etc.

She trusts you - she's just a normal kiddo!