A Lil Advise

Hi A.,
Maybe since he can not make good choices for himself right now, than you might want to set some clear boundaries. If he plays the video games at night than they will be given to Good Will or whoever they belong to. Perhaps allowing to him to play it for a certain amount of time during the day (as long as the games are nonviolent, or rated for older users) will be a reward for following the rules. Set consequences and stick to them. Or if you believe in no video games than set up some reward system for doing the right thing. (a loss of some privelage would be a consequence). Good luck! :)HOpefully your child will be responsive to this ....:)

Hi A., You need to remove all games systems for the home. I know it might not be fare to your other children but he has a real problem that you need to take care of right away. Your other kids will have to understand that you all need to help him get over his addiction.(The whole gaming thing is even bad for your other kids they too could fall into the same trap.)He also needs to be grounded and all privileges taken away for his misbehavior and lying, no TV , no play, no phone, no games ,etc. If you do not he will continue on this dangerous path, I know it's hard, but step up and be that parent that your kids need you to be. Strong. Tough Love always win in the end. Recommend book- Tough love by Focus on your family,

Best Wishes, S.

I am also a young mom (28) of three 9,7,1. Very little gaming allowed in our house hold. It's better that way.

Personaly if it is that bad. 1)I would get rid of all the game systems. Is this worth it? 2)get him involved in some group/sport etc. and maybe as a last resort 3)get a counseler

Good luck and remember YOU are the parent.

Oh how I feel your pain! We made our 9 yr. old sell his nintendo on ebay (we let him keep the money) because his personality was changing and he was lying, staying up in the middle of the night, etc. I think the only way to help with an addiction is quiting cold turkey...we tried time-limits and allowed him to monitor himself, he couldn't. One of the last straws was when we had been somewhere with family and my son just had to get out of the van as quick as possible to get to the game he kicked his cousin in the mouth and knocked out a tooth (thank God it was a baby tooth, but still). We decided then that we have to do this for him...teach him about the power of addiction and that it is totally out of his control and that as his parent with the responsibility to teach, protect, love, nuture...that this will be one thing that needs to be done. I googled video game addiction and was very surprised at what I saw. Some will have very different opinions from me and are most likely gamers themselves. If that's the life you choose as an adult, it's your life. A 10 year old child should have his options open. My nephew was allowed to play these on-line interactive games along with any other game you can imagine and is now 18 years old with no ambition, isolates himself in the computer room and sometimes even sleeps in there on the floor after playing for hours so that he can get back on it immediately. I hope some of this helps...best wishes and BE TOUGH! Everyone may be miserable for a little while and you will have to help him come of with some other enjoyable activities..enlist the help of friends and families for support.

That's normal the gaming addiction. My 18 year old was the (still is the) same way. He in fact is going to college in the fall to be a video game designer, because of his love for it. I would say as long as he's doing what he needs to around the house and keeping his grades up, not too much to worry about. As for the lying and sneaking that should be punished by not playing the games. If he lies about what he wants to do and doesn't learn from that mistake what else will he lie to you about in the future. So you are definitely right about taking them away from him. I would make him think you are putting them in your room, but put them in the trunk of your car after he's gone to bed. He won't know you've put them there and there is where they should stay until you feel he's earned them back. At which time you should not let him know that is where you kept them.
So, start small. If he lies once the games and the systems are gone for a day or a week. And work your way up.
I know that our kids at that age only got spankings for lying. Maybe that with taking the games away will work. But don't expect immediate results. It takes 21 days to make a habit and twice as long to break a bad one. Keep at and hold your ground, he's also testing how far till your breaking point. Stay firm the first time around and you won't (hopefully) have to repeat the lesson.
Good luck, just think some day he could be a millionaire because of his knowledge of gaming and design.
Alot is learned from playing video games actually. It is a great way to learn hand/eye coordination also problem solving skills and strategy. Those are not bad things to learn. Just keep the violent and graphic ones out of his reach those are not good for anybody to play.
Hope this helps,
T.

get rid of the device altogether. spend some one on one time at the park. He needs to detox.
Pam

I have a one year old, I am not there yet, but my nephew is 13 and went through the same deal at about that age. What worked for my sister-in-law was signing him up in an after school activity and really pumping him into it. Buying all the gear and extras and getting him personally involved with other kids on the team. He joined karate and she took him to the other kids houses and he went home with them someday, they went to his house others. She got him all of the gear and he was really into it. If he is already involved with a sport or activity maybe he really isnt into it and needs a bit more excitement. Good luck--C.

Just curious- what does "married but single" mean?? Also- you said the game systems don't belong to him- who do they belong to? If they belong to another child in your home, they are easily taken away, but if they belong to an adult I think your problem may lie within getting on the same page as that other adult to help you enforce taking them away and allowing him to gradually earn them back. Also, at age 10, even once he earns them back he should only be playing games which are appropriate for his age (no "Mature" or "Teen" rated games with violence)

A.

Have you tried getting rid of the games all together. It seems that they are not healthy for you or your family at this time.

C.