A Real Job?

Hey L.,

I wouldn't let that person bother you. I haven't worked in the CNA field but have been told to find a "real job". I work 35-40 a week for fast food. I love my job and couldn't see me doing anything else. I get to work and spend time with my boys.
E. P

L.,
I also am a CNA, but I work at a hospital in a surgery center....very different from working in a nursing home in many ways. Have you kept your CNA certification, or has it expired? One suggest I would have if CNA patient care is something you enjoy is to get a job as PRN staff at a hospital, it might be a great change of pace for you. I'm sure it works very similar most places, but at my work the PRN (as needed) staff work when they want to work and just sort of fill in the full and part time staff's days off, some that I work with will work no more than 1 day a week. This will give you the opportunity to continue doing what you enjoy, keep your certification current and it gives you the say of when you work. I work part time (only 2 days a week) and it is sooooo very nice to not have to deal with as much of the 'politics' that go on. Anyway, I hope this gives you a possible suggestion to look into if you so choose.

Good luck, oh and don't let what your friends say get to you. Raising the children and keeping a home are just as much, if not way more, work than a 'real job.'

B.

I was also a CNA with this problem. We worked a rotating schedule and only got off 2 days every 2 weeks. I simply stopped answering my phone. There is a reason that people get days off. Not only to spend with family and do errands and such but to give you a mental break. Being a CNA is very stressful and not near enough people/places give the CNA's the credit they deserve. Take your days off, relax and enjoy! If you find something that gives you the right balance (job wise) stick with it and don't worry about what others think. You have to do what is right for you and your family.

Friends are a dime a dozen. If she can't see what you are trying to do, then she's not worth it. I admire you for taking more time with your family!
Did you ever think of going into work with people with special needs? You could do just 2 or 3 days a week and still use your CNA skills. High functioning ones are great! Keep your chin up!
G.

If doing what you are doing is working for you and making your life happier, then go for it. Keep doing it, and it shouldn't matter what everyone else says, cause they dont have to live your life. I totally believe that when mom's not happy then the whole family suffers, including the kids. So take it easy, if you can afford to. Good luck, and keep you chin up, I think it sounds like your doing the right thing. Your family comes first..

Praise to you L.!!

You are doing the right thing, and you are not LAZY!! Most women with children would love to be in your shoes! If you can continue this lifestyle and it makes you happy, your "friends" should be told how you feel and then they need to leave you alone about it. If they continue to be demeaning then maybe it's time to ditch that friend! The $3 paycut sounds like it was worth it. I, too, was heathcare employee who received calls on my day off to work for other people. It's very tiring! Remember your happines, and your kids are what's important! Do what is right for you!!

Who are these people anyway? I'd hesitate to call them friends if they're not supportive of your choices. Really, they're probably just jealous. I was downsized out of a full time, well-paying job last year and took a job as a pharmacy technician. I work four days a week and I really like my Tuesdays off. (I wish I could say my house was cleaner!) But, I am MUCH less stressed and that has been good for my family.

You could reply with something like "This has turned out to be the best thing for my children/marriage/family." How can they argue with that? "We are perfectly happy with the way things are now." Things like that.

And if they still don't get it, tell them to back off. I had to get stern with my mother-in-law when my first was born, she was horrified that we were using daycare and I didn't quit my job and stay home.

Good luck.

Your decision to change jobs was based on your kids as your first priority as well as your well-being, and seems like the right thing for the right reasons. Maybe what your friend said bothers you because you value her opinion....if so, I'd make time to talk to her, and ask her why she thinks you're getting lazy. Maybe she's just angry that she can't do what you've done, or somehow your friendship is different than before. You'll only find out the reason behind her remark if you ask questions and really talk with and listen to her.

I don't think you should listen to any negative comments made about you, being happy at a job and reducing stress is far more important! Besides, what would make that persons think that working in a deli is not a real job? Sounds like those people have some problems of thier own to deal with. Its not healthy to suround yourself with poeple who want to say negative things to you!

Any job is a real job! If you don't need to work for financial reasons and your family is well taken care of it is no one else's business what you do for your 'me' time, which is what it sounds like your job is. Every mom needs some time away from home. Your family is lucky that you take it in the form of a part time job, not out in bars. You sound like a great mom trying to keep the balance of being mom and being you. Enjoy your job and tell your friends to mind their own business!

I honestly think that when people try to make you feel like you don't have a "real job" they say things to try to hurt you because they are trying to make themselves feel better for not having the guts to say- you know, I can live with fewer materials goods and invest my time in my most important asset- my family! Your life is just that and throughout life you will probably prioritize differently- now is a time when your family is first and you should be commended for making changes that make you happy. As for your friend who told you you are getting lazy- I'd tell her, "no, just smarter- maybe you should try it"- sounds to me like maybe your friend isn't satisfied with the way her life is prioritized and for whatever reason is taking it out on you. I believe what you are doing is setting a great example for your children. And I respect, admire and congratulate you on having the guts to make a big change that is better for your family and your well-being.

I would only worry about how you and your family feel. How do you feel? How does your husband feel? How do your children feel? That is all that matters!
M. S.

hello L. im rochell 36 years old and i have been in the cna business for 10 years now, and have been the supervior for in home care as well, the guilt trip they lay on you is desperation, and you easy target if you say yes all the time, they know how to puch your buttons, you need to stand your ground and be firm from the get go ( I said no )or Im getting burned out,9out of ten times they will back off, and the guilt complex is normal you feel quilty for not being their to take care of what needs to be done i know been their and done that all i can say is if you dont take care of your self first who will and if you dont take care of your self how can you take care of someone else? just flat out say i need time away and dont answer the phone when they call learn to walk away for the day have them deal with it, the time off is you time, just keep reminding your self ok you need time time for your self so you can performe your job better as a humane being and a cna and as mom and wife it is one big cirlce hun, take some me time shut the phone off take a hot bubble bath and say not today.

A real job? To me the most important job you could ever have is to be home with your child(ren). I think you did the best thing for yourself. If other people want to judge you, just set it aside, and as long as you are happy with you decision than that's all that matters. Besides what you do with your life, is only between you, God, and your husband. So if those three are happy than that's all that matters!! Good luck, you will be in my prayers.

Hi L.,
You do have a real job for starters in fact you have many jobs. You are a full time mother, wife and also have a job outside of the home. I was a single parent from the time my youngest was 9 months old, and I stayed home with them until they went to school and was on Welfare then when they started school I would work the hours they were in school cleaning houses, running errands for people, etc. Then when they were in school all day I worked all day then was home when they got home. Being at home with the kids is so important so don't let anyone belittle you into thinking you don't have a REAL job. I had taken alot of flack when I was on welfare even from my family especially my brothers because they said they were supporting me. I said does your wife stay home with your kids, they of course did, and I said so why should my kids suffer because I am single?

I think you are doing a great thing to beable to be home and be a full time mother and wife and working just a couple days a week. GOOD JOB
Take care
God Bless
L.

hi L. , i a single mother of four kids . two and two . 16,15,14,4 . so i know how you feel because i have been there two . i personaly would not let what your friend said bother you . she might be wishing she could be like you and only have to work acouple days a week . but if you and your husben are fine with you only working a couple days a week then don't worry about what every one eles thinks . i'm starting school later this month and i don't have to work at all . my boyfriend and i will still be ok money wise and some poeple think that i should have to work some to . but i want to go to school full time and if i do that then i can't have a job to.
i hope this has helped you . irealy wouldn't let what other people say bother you if you and your husben are fine with it . have a good day . hope this helped you
M.

If you're happy, don't worry about what other people think! If your friends don't notice that you're happier and doing what you want to do , then they don't really sound like friends to me. I wish I could work part time! I worked full time from 3 mos old until 18 months old. I stayed home for a year and just went back full time - it sucks! I miss him so much! Sometimes I think about getting a lame night job so I can spend my days with him. Most everyone goes thru this same struggle (unless they're husbands are making tons of dough!). Don't beat yourself up - you know what's best for you and your family.

I think being a mother is the most real job there is. You are doing what is best for you and your family. You can feel good about that.

There is absolutely NOTHING lazy about being home with your kids. Being home with my kids is the hardest job I have ever had... and I use to work full time also. I would have taken offense to what your "friend" said too. It is an insult to have someone belittle the fact that you are mostly a stay at home mom. I would let her know that it did offend you and then let it go. If your friendship is worth anything... it will be better to be honest than to let things build.
Also... if you really want to make more money and still only work a few days or evenings a week... I could introduce you to Signature Homestyles. It is a wonderful business that lets you be your own boss and make the money that you want to make. Check out the website and let me know what you think.
www.signaturehomestyles.com (Check out the Super Saving Sale... you will love it! If you ever want to order on-line, use the Rep # 14959) I have been a representative for this and also a Consultant for Creative Memories for a year now. I love the products and it is fun to get out of the house and away from kids every now and again. And you basically make money to have fun. I know I have gotten a little off track, but I wanted to share this with you. I was in a rut after not working anymore, and I was home 24/7 with my 5 kids. I needed an outlet and wanted to make more than $3 an hour. Both of these companies offer everything I was looking for. Maybe you can find some comfort in one of them also. Talk to you soon... and good luck with your friend. Maybe she doesn't even realize what she said, or how it came across to you...but I would truly talk to her about it. Don't let it fester.

First off you are not lazy. You are taking care of the most important, your family. You are home more and accesable to the people who matter most. Your priorities have to come first, if they don't everything will suffer. Take heart, keep your CNA licence renewed and when the kids are older then maybe you can, as they say, get a real job. But you already have one. Just remember, your house is your job. You and your family are your job. I would be willing to bet that it is just as rewarding for you to sit back in your now cleaner house and enjoy the kids. I know you need to get away from them every once in a while, but it soundslike you are doing that. Keep up the good work. I applaud you.

I know what you mean...I used to be a project manager at a communications firm pre-mommy days. Now I work nights in the check processing department of a bank. I get paid about 1/3 less, but I get to spend every day with my son (my REAL job). People have made comments to me, even at work, about how I am way too intelligent to work that job, but it seems like no matter how many times I reply that I am not working for mental stimulation, but rather to contribute financially while still being able to be a stay at home mom, every seems to think I am an under-achiever. Whatever! Under-achievers do not spend all day long teaching, snuggling, feeding etc. a 17 month old, then go out to work until 3 AM. And they fail to understand that I do not have any intention of doing this forever. It suits my needs and my priorities for now. I have bigger plans than bookkeeping (which is basically what I do now), but those plans are for the future, when my kids are raised and my job with them is done. Just keep telling people (like your "friend") that you do not define your success or importance by your job, but rather by the quality of your life, which is much higher now that you are able to spend time taking care of your children and your house, and that you have a job that is not so stressful that it is going to drive you into an early grave. And you will just need to accept the fact that some people will just not get it and will look down on your choice. If those people keep making comments, I would tell them that you understand that they don't like the choice you have made, but that you are happy about it and you don't wish to hear any further commentary about it. Good luck!

M.

I wouldn't worrie too much on what other people think of you. You have more time for your kids now and your still supporting them, and mabe with even a little free time for yourself.
You still have a job and being there for your kids is the best thing in the world especialy when you know what's going on with them.
You don't have to bust your but off to be a good person you just have to find the right balance for it all, and if that is what you have now I would keep it going.
Good LUCK, and enjoy yourself

First of all your not lazy i wish i could be like u where i could only work a couple hours a week i'm a mother of three little girls the ages 5,3,and 1 and i work two jobs theres some days i don't see my girls all day until bed time because i have two work two jobs. its hard cuz i have missed out on a lot of things. My point is just be happy that u get to spend time with your family. Because i thinking about quiting one of my jobs and cut down to part time so i can see my girls more.

Hi L.,
A "REAL" job? I myself, work 2 different jobs (desk clerk at a hotel and head cook at a restaurant) plus I have my own freelance photography business. And yet, I'm constantly being told "get out and get a REAL job"...I commend you for doing what you did. Spending time with one's children is a NEED, not only for parents but for the children as well. But...we parents DO need a break from it and that's why some go to work. I work the jobs I do, because I NEED the money, but I also NEED to spend time with my 17 year old daughter. Don't let anyone tell you to "go out and get a REAL job"...you have 2 already...at a grocery story and being a Mom. And...being a GOOD Mom is the hardest job of all. Know in your heart that you are doing the right thing...for you and for your family.

Being a mother, I have worked harder in the last 10 months than I ever did at my old job. Seeing my son grow up has been more rewarding and exciting than a "real job" ever was. Caring for your children & wanting to be home with them doesn't make you "lazy"- on the contrary you're giving your children (and husband, more than likely) more 'mom' time. You're less stressed, your eating healthier and you're home more- as long as you're happier with your decision your family will be too. Don't let your friend get to you by saying what she said- it seems to me you're happier with this lifestyle and at the end of the day your family will benefit from that.

Remember, even though your not pregnant anymore doesnt mean that all those hormones just disappear, you will still have a range of emotions for a while yet. It doesnt seem like it is as bad as being pregnant, but they are still there, people can still get the baby blues up til the baby is almost 2 yrs old. I understand how hard it is to feel guiltly like that, I quit my job to stay home with my kids right before I had child #2 and I felt guilty for a long time, but looking back now, I am glad I did it. These guys only stay little for a short time, so enjoy what you can of it, then when they are all in school, and you still want to be a CNA, look to go back part time to that. Also try not to feel too bad about missing most of you baby's first 9 months, just spent that guilt on making up for it now, because its never too late to enjoy your babies. Good Luck!

You need to do the job that is right for you. Do what makes you happy and what works for your family. No one has to be happy with the way you live your life except for you. I was a CNA before I got my nursing license (I worked in an Alzheimer unit for 5 years) and I can understand the stress that you are coming from! Do what's best for you and your family and never regret it for a minute! If anyone else gets down on you just say "Thanks for your opinion" and walk away! Those people aren't the kind that you need to be around!

Sounds like your friend is just jealous.. I would forget what she said and move on.. you are happy and that is all that matters!

C.