? About Jewish Custom

It shows others that visit the grave that someone was there, also they believe in placing something from the earth. A stone because it won't blow away or die like flowers.

good question!!...i used to go out with a jewish boy and he answered this very same question for me.. and while i am sure you will have a million jewish people as experts who know a lot more details on it..i will tell you what i know...lol...i actually bought the jewish book of why..its a question and answer book explaining all the jewish customs..i learned alot from that book..but basically...in the jewish culture they dont believe that a death should be celebrated...but rather mourned..hence the whole sitting shiva practice after someone dies...so rather than flowers they leave stones on top of the gravestone...to let the deceased know they were there without "celebrating" thier death with flowers or ornaments...pretty interesting..

I am new to Mamsource. I just saw this posting...and after writing an answer I noticed it's from a year ago. Oh, well! Maybe someone will come across it, as I did!

Judaism is full of interpretations of the books that guide the religion. The Internet has many interpretations for the stones. Rabbi David Wolpe has a variety of explanations at beliefnet.com: http://www.beliefnet.com/story/101/story_10121_2.html. Some of the things he says:

stones have a special meaning and significance in Judaism:

In the Bible, an altar -- the holy place where one offers to God -- is no more than a pile of stones.

the most sacred shrine in Judaism, the wall of the second Temple, is a pile of stones.

souls continue to dwell for a while in the graves in which they are placed. The practice of leaving stones atop a grave can be explained as a response to these beliefs. More than a simple marker of one's visit, stones on the grave are the means by which the living help souls remain where they belong -- in the grave.

the inscription on many gravestones translated, is, "May his soul be bound up in the bounds of eternal life," a phrase wishing for eternal life for the departed.

The fourth word of the Hebrew phrase can also be translated as "pebble." There is historical significance re pebbles.
In ancient times, shepherds needed a system to keep track of their flocks. A shepherd would carry a sling over his shoulder, and in it keep the number of pebbles that corresponded to the number in his flock so he could have an accurate daily count.

When we place stones on the grave, and inscribe the motto above on the stone, we are asking God to keep the departed's soul in God's sling. Among all the souls whom God has to watch over, we wish to add the name, the "pebble" of the soul of our departed.

Stones give a sense of solidity. Flowers are a good metaphor for life. Life withers; it fades like a flower. As Isaiah says "All flesh is grass, and all its beauty like the flower of the field; grass withers and flowers fade" (Isaiah 40:6,7). For that reason, flowers are an apt symbol of passing.

But memory is supposed to be lasting. While flowers may be a good metaphor for the brevity of life, stones seem better suited to the permanence of memory. Stones do not die.

In moments when we are reminded of the fragility of life, Judaism reminds us that there is permanence amid the pain. While other things fade, stones and souls endure.

This is a custom to show the deceased and others who may visit the grave that someone was there to visit.

My mother told me that our custom is to place a stone at the grave, instead of flowers as in many other customs, because the stone will last forever. It will not die or blow away.